HELLOOO GUYS! What words can I use to explain how sorry I am? It's just that I've been going through a lot and some other stuff because mind you, I have to edit one of my books on wattpad for my publisher, continue to write a book on wattpad, AND write this fic too. So i'm sorry and I hope that this chapter makes up for it. You'll witness two of my favorite Sam Smith songs and it's really interesting so enjoy!

Blaine's POV

I love Kurt, don't get me wrong.

But, I don't trust him. Well, at least not yet.

I know he's extremely sorry and everything but come on, if you were in my position, would you forgive him, just like that? I am very appreciative of him standing up for me when my father- I mean George was acting like a maniac but every time I look at him, my mind goes back to what happened that night.

We were almost at Rachel's house when all of a sudden, Kurt put his hands on the steering wheel and used his hands to motion it to the side.

"Kurt! What the hell are you doing?"

I tried to take control of the wheel but it was too late. Our car smashed into another car which smashed into another car. The power was so great, I flew out the front window, my head hitting the glass, shards sticking in my head. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. I flew onto the trunk of someone's car and since their car was tilted, I crashed onto the floor, hard.

I shake my head, trying to get that thought out of my mind. Did he really love me that much, so much that he was willing to risk my life, just for me to change? It's extremely flattering but, that's scary. It's scary being around him because I don't know what he will or might do next.

You never know, he could-

"Blaine," Sarah calls out, holding my phone in her hand. "Why are you ignoring Kurt's phone calls?"

"I-"

"Well, how do I know, you might ask? I recognize his number and his contact name is IGNORE. Smooth Blaine, real smooth."

"Why do you care? You don't need to know every aspect of my damn life." I ask, annoyingly. I know she's my best friend but she doesn't have to know everything at every second of my life.

"I'm not even going to answer that question but fine, don't tell me." She says crossing her arms and sitting down on the teal couch next to me in silence.

I look around the room and sigh. Just a week ago, I moved in with Sarah. I still find it absurd how Sarah's mom lets her get her own house. Like, that is not fair. I still felt like I was living in Sarah's house, not Sarah and I's house. I know she tries to make me feel welcome but I still feel like I'm always owing her.

"Blaine," she starts.

"Look, I'm sorry I said what I said."

"Blaine,"

"Sometimes, I forget how much I still owe you and how much you've done for me and you are still adding things to the list of things you've done for me. You deserve to know everything there is to know about me."

"Blaine,"

"Especially on that day in the park when-"

"Blaine, stop. We swore never to speak of that day unless necessary."

"I know, but-"

"You need to stop feeling like you owe me. You've done plenty of things for me too!"

"Like what?" I ask, turning to her.

"Like… letting me have the greatest best friend in the whole universe."

"That's not good enough." I say.

"It doesn't matter. But we really haven't had an actual conversation about Kurt."

"Sarah, it doesn't matter."

"No. I'm not going to let you minimize this!"

"Sarah…"

I had a feeling I know what she's talking about but I will never admit it.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" She asks, but she didn't really ask, it's like she stated it.

"Yeah, I love him like a frie-"

"Blaine. Let's be serious. You and I both remember that day."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I look away.

Blaine Hummel-Anderson,

Blaine Anderson- Hummel,

"It has a nice ring to it." Sarah says appearing into the living room.

"Wha-"

"You really need to learn how to keep your thoughts, in your thoughts." She says walking back to the kitchen with a grin on her face, wiping the flour off her cheek.

"It was just me playing with our names. I did it with us too."

"But that's different. He's a guy. More importantly, you never did that with Sebastian and he and you were supposedly best friends."

"That doesn't mean-"

"Blaine, if you're are gay, just say so."

I got angry. "How dare you question my sexuality?! I've been getting that crap all my life and the LAST person I thought I'd get it from is you."

"Blaine, I'm sorry."

"Yeah," I say standing up, grabbing my coat. "Everyone is these days."

I open the door and walk out. I jump into my car and drive over to Wes's house. I really needed my GUY best friend right now because my GIRL best friend apparently for the first time in forever, doesn't know me.

I knock on his door but I flies right open to reveal no one. Uh huh… So I step in side and look around. I heard laughing from upstairs so I go there. I heard giggles. I slowly walk to where the sound was and I was met with the worst sight in life.

"OH MY GOD! WES, WHAT THE HELL?!"

He scrambles for his covers and hides his face. The girl just lays there, with her body spread to the open. I look clearly and I realized, it was Santana.

"SANTANA, WHAT THE-"

"Blaine, don't be so overdramatic!"

"I would be less dramatic if you cover yourself." I tell her, looking away.

"Oh yeah." She giggles.

"Aren't you and Brittany…?" I ask.

"We got in a fight."

"And so you just choose to cheat on her, just like that." I say crossing my arms.

"Actually…"

Wes's bathroom door opens to expose Brittany, who was also naked.

"Why in the world…" I was so done with this situation. I just wanted to have a chat with Wes.

"Yeah… so it was a threesome…" Santana says.

I rub my forehead and sit down in the empty chair next to the door, my eyes closed in the process.

"WES. GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE." I scream.

"Coming!" Wes calls out.

After a whole lot of everyone moving around, Wes comes out, dressed in black jeans and a fitted white shirt.

"Let's go on an adventure Blaine!"

I roll my eyes and follow him outside his house, leaving Brittany and Santana in there. When we got to the car, I questioned him on his intelligence.

"Why would you leave two girls in your house?" I ask.

"Because… you needed help and I rushed to your aid." He says matter-of-factly.

I smile and I jump into the driver's seat of my car and drive to The Lima Bean so we could talk. I was so confused of my feelings, I had to get a guy's perspective. Once we finally get inside, we order our coffees and sit down at our usually table.

"So, what's up Blainey?"

"Don't call me that," I tell him.

"Ooo, feisty. But seriously, what's wrong?"

"… I think… IthinkImightbegay." I say quickly.

He cocks his head to the side in confusion.

"Uh, repeat that?"

"I… think… that... I, Blaine Devon Anderson, might be… gay."

His eyebrows raise and he whistles. "Because of Kurt, right?"

"No! It's because Sarah thinks and-"

"Wait, you're getting this from Sarah?" Wes asks, with a little attitude in his voice.

"We had an argument because Sarah questioned my sexuality and now-"

"You're questioning it too?" he asks.

"Yeah…"

"Well first, if you were gay, I'd be completely fine with it. If you were to be with Kurt, I'd be hasty but fine with it. But if you get into a relationship with a guy, knowing you're confused about your feelings, I wouldn't be okay with it."

"So," I say rubbing my hands on my jeans. "What do I do?"

"We ask other gays, dummy!" he suggests.

"I don't think that'd be accurate and-"

"Blaine, you came to me for help and this is what I'm offering."

I sigh loudly. "Okay."

He pulls my arm out of my seat and throws away our not touched coffee which I silently cry about. He drags me out of The Lima Bean and jumps in the driver's seat.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"A place you know very well." Wes tells me.

Is he taking me to Dalton? Probably…

When we began to file into Westville, I recognized the place very well. The green trees with birds chirping and ducks swimming, it was beautiful.

He parks my car into Dalton and drags me inside. My insides began to burn as I looked around my old school. I had so many memories here. This place was my home. Nothing has really changed, it was as if they welcomed me back. I realized that Wes dragged me into the Warbler room where we practiced and the Warblers were in the middle of a performance. As soon as they see me, they all stop singing. Before I knew it, I was on the ground with a bunch of bodies piled on me. I smile and almost cried a bit. I missed them so much I didn't even know what to do.

When they finish hugging me, everyone was grinning and I saw Sebastian in a corner, hiding from the group. I caught his eye and he quickly looks away. I frown but I'd focus on him later.

"So Blaine, is this your triumphant return to Dalton? Please?" Trent asks with plead in his voice. I look at the rest of the warblers and they all had the same looks.

"Actually, I'm here for advice."

"Anything you need Blaine." Nick says with a smile.

"Yeah Blaine, what's up?" David asks.

"I- Uh…" I start. Could I really announce my sexuality to the whole group? I mean, they are my best friends' but-

"Oh… this is serious…" Jeff says.

"Underclassmen, you guys can go." Wes says.

Half of the Warblers leave the room and I was left with the Warblers I was close with.

"Okay Blaine, now you can tell us."

I sigh and moved to sit on the couches.

"I think I might be gay."

I look up at them and no one was shocked. Which I was extremely hurt at.

"Okay…? And so what?" David asks.

"I need your advice on how to know if I'm gay. You guys know me best." I tell them.

"Well, I always thought you might've had a thing for Kurt since that time you were in bed with him."

"That shouldn't mean anything." I say defensively.

"The real question is, do you want to be gay?" Thad asks.

"I don't know…"

"Well, just know if you are gay, we are completely fine with it." Jeff says.

"I don't really know how to help you Blaine. It's kind of something you figure out on your own…" Trent says trailing off.

"Yeah, but thanks anyways." I tell them. I stand up and head for the doors.

"Leaving already?" They all ask in unison.

"Yeah, I really want to figure this out."

"You won't even stay for a song? For old times' sake?" Jeff says puling me away from the doors.

I sigh and laugh when they start singing.

"You know what I mean
It's like walking in the heat all day, with no water
It's like waiting for a friend
Watching everybody else meet theirs, on that corner
Or losing in an argument
Although you're right, can't get your thoughts in order…" Thad sings.

"Still I refrain
from talking at you, talking on
you know me well
I don't explain…" Jeff sings. He assures me that it's time for me to sing so I clear my throat and smile.

"But why the hell
why do you think I come 'round here on my free will?
Wasting all my precious time
Oh, the truth spills out
And oooooo oh I've
I've told you now." I sing.

"You know what I mean
although I try my best, I still let down the team
you're everything I want,
why should I resist when you are there for me?" David sings, patting my back.

"Should I refrain
from talking at you, talking on
you know me well
I don't explain." Wes sings.

"But why the hell
why do you think I come 'round here on my free will?
Wasting all my precious time
Oh the truth spills out
And oooooo oh I've
I've told you now!" I sing again.
We all start dancing playfully as I continue singing.
I've told you now
and I've told you now!
And I've told you now!

"Still I refrain
from talking at you, talking on
you know me well
I don't explain," Jeff sings,

"So why the hell
Why do you think I come 'round here on my free will?
Wasting all my precious time" Thad sang, making gestures with his hands.

"Why the hell
why do you think I come 'round here on my own will?
Wasting all my precious time
Oh, the truth spills out
and oooooo oh I've…
I've told you now…" We all sing together, forming into a big hug.

"I'll miss you guys." I tell them.

"Why?" Thad asks. "You won't have to miss us because we will always be here by your side.

"But like, for college and-"

"You do realize that's a long time away?" Wes tells me.

"Yeah but-"

"Stop worrying." Jeff says, cutting me off.

"It's just, I feel so lucky finding guys like you to be my best friends." I say with my voice cracking.

"Aww Blaine, get out of here before my tears mess up your clothes." David says rushing me out with Wes.

I sigh as my heart warms. This is the best school in the world and I'll miss it so much. Wes interrupts my thoughts and drags me out the double doors and drags me into the car.

"Can you stop hurting my arm? Gosh."

"I'm sorry, it's just, I saw Sebastian and I wanted you out as possible."

Oh yeah… Sebastian…

"You can talk to him later. Right now, you need to solve this issue with Sarah."

"Okay… I guess."

"Good. And also, you need to change Kurt's contact name from IGNORE to something else." Wes says.

"I-"

I look down at my phone and saw it ringing. Should I answer it? No… I can't. I don't want to talk to him knowing I have mixed feelings. I still have to talk to Sarah and maybe I could get help from Rachel. But what would I do on Monday? How am I supposed to avoid him? Does that mean I have to figure this all out before Monday? But that's two days away! Without my knowledge, Wes grabs my phone from my lap and clicks on the button, answer.

"Hey Kurt!" Wes says, greeting him. Kurt's voice was muffled but I could hear him say, "Where's Blaine? I've been calling him."

Wes looks at me and I quickly shake my head with a pleading look on my face. He sighs. He then puts the call on speaker phone.

"I'm at his house but he had to go somewhere and accidently left his phone." Wes lies.

"Is Sarah there? Maybe she'll let me in and I'll wait for him to come back. Actually, you're there so I can come." Kurt says.

I started to hyperventilate and I reached for the end call button but Wes moves the phone so it's out of my reach.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Blaine just came back and-"

"Give him the phone!" Kurt shouts.

My eyes bulge out of its sockets and I look at Wes like he was crazy.

"He and Sarah just left. I think they are going to a- a…. night spa so they won't be back till morning."

I sigh loudly but then I quickly close my mouth. Maybe Kurt heard it! Oh God…

"Who was that?" Kurt asks.

I started to freak out and Wes looks at me like I did something wrong.

"Do something!" I mouth to him.

"That was me. Sigh." Wes reenacts.

I quietly sigh this time.

"Well, I got to go Kurt, bye!" Wes says quickly shutting off my phone.

"See? There's perks of being my best friend." Wes winks.

"Uh huh…" I roll my eyes.

On Sunday, David calls me and told me he had a plan. I asked him what it was but he said I'd have to wait and find out. He also said I had to meet him at the mall for some reason. As I was about to hang up the call, he told me to wear something good. I was scared of what he had up his sleeve but come on, it's David.

I go to my closet and pull out my best bowtie, the plaid one. I take out a light blue with dark blue lines polo with long sleeves and put a red sweater over it. I match it with black jeans and black converse. Blaine Anderson was ready to take on the world.

When I get to the mall, I saw David waiting by the entrance with a smirk on his face.

"Hey Blaine, looking good!" David complements.

"I could say the same for you."

"Blaine, stop being dapper."

"I'm sorry!" I laugh.

He puts his hands on my shoulder and directs me into the mall.

"Care to explain what I'm doing here?" I ask.

"You, sir, is going to flirt with any girl you see and see if they flirt back. If one of them does, ask if you could kiss them. And if you like it, you're not gay. If you feel any tint of discomfort, then we'll see."

"David, no girl would want to be with me."

"Blaine, are you freaking serious right now? Even my girlfriend thinks you're hot."

"But-"

"No buts. You have the maximum of five girls to try on."

I slouch my shoulders as he pushes me into the food court and runs behind the fake bushes. It's not like I've never flirted with a girl before but I was scared. What if I got rejected? We all know how I handle rejection. But if this was to figure out my sexuality, I'd do anything.

I walk deeper into the food court and look around. There was plenty of girls here but how could I choose? I decided on this girl with brown hair and she had sun glasses on with a black shirt and denim shorts. I sigh and wiggle my shoulders to relieve the tension in them. You can do this Blaine. You can do this. Dapper mode: On.

I walk up to her with a smirk. "Where's a beautiful girl like you headed?"

She immediately blushes and takes off her sunglasses. She bites her lip and looks from side to side.

"You're extremely hot but I have a boyfriend. Wait right here while I go break up with him." She says walking up to a guy that was slowly approaching us.

"Uh," I say, a little frightened. "That's okay." I run to another part of the food court. I breathe heavily and when I felt a tap on my shoulder, I jumped.

"Just me Blaine," David says with a laugh. "What happened back there? I was sure that you nailed her."

"She ended up having a boyfriend and she told me to wait while she breaks up with him for me."

"Wow."

"I'm saying."

"Well, NEXT!" He shouts and pushes me towards this girl. She had brunette hair with a black crop top and white skinny jeans. She drops her food on the floor and she reaches down to pick it up. I turn around to scold David but he already ran to his hiding place.

"I'm so sorry." I say and then I offered to help.

She was still looking at the ground while she spoke.

"If you had just watched where you were-"

She looks up at me then she stops talking. Her mouth drops open and tears come out of her eyes. I was scared that I had made her so mad, that she started crying. This whole thing has failed miserably until I heard what she said next.

"Wow, you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen."

Dapper mode: Back on.

"How can I be the most beautiful when you're alive?" I tell her.

She melts and I then knew I did my job. I smirk as she squirms. I help her up and I build up the courage to ask,

"Would you do me the greatest honor in the world of kissing me?" I ask.

"Are you kidding me? You don't even have to ask!"

She grabs my face and pulls me in close. Her lips land on mine and I kiss her back. I don't know what I felt. It was good, I guess but like, it felt like it was wrong in some way. I heard whimpering from behind me and I pull away from the kiss and turn around to see Kurt with tears falling out of his eyes.

I look back at the girl and she looks at me like she wanted to continue.

"I'm sorry but, could you hold on real quick?" I tell her.

She nods and I turn around to see Kurt running away.

"Kurt! Wait!" I scream as I run after him. I had to push through plenty of people and I thought I had almost lost him until we got near the entrance. David caught up to me and he asks,

"Wait… what?"

Kurt slows down and sits down on a bench.

I hush David and slowly walk up to Kurt. I then realized that he was singing. I stop in my tracks and listen to him.

He turns around and looks at me teary eyed. He continues to sing.

I don't have much to give, but I don't care for gold
what use is money, when you need someone to hold?
Don't have direction, I'm just rolling down this road
waiting for you to bring me in from out the cold

"Kurt, I-"

He cuts me off and stands up, continuing to sing.

You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain
or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call her name

He looks away and starts walking towards the double doors. I follow him outside and he began singing again but this time, to me.

Pack up and leave everything
Don't you see what I can bring
Can't keep this beating heart at bay
Set my midnight sorrow free
I will give you all of me
Just leave your lover, leave him for me
Leave your lover, leave her for me

Leave your lover? Wait, I don't have a lover… I'm single…

We sit in bars and raise our drinks to growing old
Oh, I'm in love with you and you will never know
but if I can't have you I'll walk this life alone
spare you the rising storms and let the rivers flow

You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain
or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call her name

Pack up and leave everything
Don't you see what I can bring
Can't keep this beating heart at bay
Set my midnight sorrow free
I will give you all of me
Just leave your lover, leave her for me

Leave HER for me… Oh. He saw me kiss that girl… Shit man! He wasn't supposed to be here! If I explain, everything will come out weirdly and-
Leave your lover, leave her for me
Leave your lover, and leave her for me

When he finishes the song, he heads down the parking lot.

"Kurt, I can explain-"

"Just please, give me some time." He says, and walks away.

He leaves me in the parking lot, feeling hurt, lost, and confused.