AN: Sorry for the delay! I got distracted writing other things. This episode was one of my favorites.

Please review if you're still following this story!

DJ

Comfort: Debbie

I slammed the door. Hard. So hard the cross on the doorframe fell. I couldn't be bothered to pick it up.

The bed that had become my own creaked as I sat down on it. Living with Jasmine had been wonderful. Some of the best days of my life. No one screamed at me, no one hit, there were no games (except perhaps Ashley's painfully obvious suggestions that we come to church once in awhile) and I saw Jasmine all the time. We laughed, we went for long walks or took the bus to Hotton, or just sat in her room listening to music and talking about who was better: the Crypts or good old Gwen.

But still, the pain just kept following me.

I slapped a CD into Jasmine's radio, not even bothering to glance at what it was. The noise was all I was after, so that no one could hear me cry.

Andy.

Thick, fat tears leaked from my eyes no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly filled with chills as the hateful words the father of my child had shouted at me earlier rang endlessly in my head.

Just cause you got no one to love you, don't take it out on those that have!

…No one to love you…no one to love you…

He was right. I was alone, I was jealous of him for having Katie when I had no one. I collapsed back on the bed. Who could ever love me, knowing what I'd done? Looks like I was going to be on my own for life.

But I don't care. I'm better off alone. No one can hurt you that way, no one can see your weakness and plot to use it against you.

Alone you're safe.

The door opened.

"Debbie?" Jasmine asked, sounding confused. By what I didn't particularly know. Maybe she'd seen the cross on the floor and thought I'd been trying to convert. Like God could ever forgive me. Maybe I was damned.

I swallowed hard, trying to make my voice clear. "Just leave me alone Jas…" I must have been crying for awhile if she were back. College got out at four.

Jasmine quietly shut the door.

"Hey," she said gently, moving round to sit next to me. "Don't be like that, you can tell me anything." She watched me with unwavering eyes, waiting for me to speak.

No chance she'd leave me alone to cry in peace then.

I wanted to glare, to tell her to bugger off and leave me alone. But something had shifted between us since I'd moved in. Jasmine and I had grown even closer if that were possible. And ever since I'd given Sarah away, she'd been the only one who'd stayed by my side. Unwavering. Loyal. Without any thought of asking for returned favors. She'd done so much for me. I couldn't have pushed her away at that moment if I wanted to. I was tired of pushing.

So I told her.

"I saw Andy with Katie."

She scowled but her eyes remained gentle. "You're so over him." She told me.

I'd been over him for months. Basically since Sarah had been born. Actually, before that, even.

"Yeah, I know but he had a right go." Jasmine bit her lip as I confessed, concern and anger in her face. I looked away. "He made a dig about Sarah, he made me feel so stupid."

The bed shifted as Jasmine stood up. For a fleeting second, I thought she was leaving me and my heart started to crack. But she was just shifting to the other bed.

"Yeah, well he's hardly catch of the century is he?" She said, sounding almost like she were lecturing me. "I mean in his hideous green boiler suit and as well he's caked in cow dung." I couldn't help the smile that stretched across my face. She was right, he did look terrible in that. And he smelled awful.

Jasmine leaned in, staring me right in the eyes. "Debbie, you can do so much better than that farm boy."

"Yeah, I know but it's what he said." Those hateful words. Alone. Unloved. "He's right," I realized. "I am a waste, I mean what have I ever done other than mess everything up?" Tears were streaming down my face by now but I couldn't have stopped them if I tried.

Jasmine didn't even hesitate before answering. "I don't know, you only went and had your baby on your own in some shack without any support."

The unexpected fierceness in her voice, the admiration with which she said that completely threw me. It filled me with a feeling I hadn't known in a long time: pride. No one had ever admired me for that. No one ever spoke about that. "…she looked so perfect as well." I lamented, remembering Katie's smug grin behind her perfect hair and full lips as she hung off Andy's arm.

Jasmine actually scoffed. "Katie?" I sniffed loudly in response. "Well she's not." Jasmine said in that same strong voice. "You know, I think you're far better looking." She told me.

"Get lost."

"No I do!" She stared at me and something in her eyes made me pause. She wasn't kidding, she wasn't just saying that to make me feel better. She…she really believed that. "You know what Debbie," Jasmine said in a far gentler voice that was somehow even more powerful than her previous intensely protective one. She examined my face as if searching for something long forgotten. "I think that you're absolutely amazin'." That one statement, with undeniable conviction had me speechless. I looked away, trying to wipe my tears. "I mean, after everything that you've been through in your life, you're strong, you're funny and clever! You can do anything you want, I really believe that." I looked up again, into her soft brown eyes. Somehow she'd gotten even closer to me since we'd sat down. And I wasn't bothered by it. I was enjoying how comfortable she was with me. How she just wanted me to believe what she had always believed about me. Warmth pooled in her gaze and overflowed, filling me with hope and a tiny glimmer of happiness. How was it that Jas always had the right words to make me feel better? Must have been all those books.

The tears had stopped but I still had nothing to say. This felt good. Not just because of the compliments that warmed my cheeks and made my heart flutter. Just being able to talk to someone, having someone say those few stupid words: it'll be okay. Crying in front of someone, knowing they wont mock you for it later.

That was all I ever wanted. Someone to help me fight the monsters. To face the pain.

Abruptly, Jasmine sat back and leaned over the edge of her bed. The feelings vanished as her eyes left mine. Devastation crashed back in without those warm eyes to keep it at bay. But when she sat up again, Jasmine had a half-full bottle of vodka in her hands.

Ah, the other solution to pain…

"Any more self-pity and I'll flush your head down the toilet, okay?" She told me with a grin.

I gave her a watery smile. "Okay." The vodka ripped a burning trail down my throat as I took a swig.

"To us." I said, handing the bottle back to her.

Jas grinned. "To us." She agreed. She took a hearty swig of her own.

True to Jas' threat, no more words were uttered about Andy, Katie or Sarah that day. The vodka caught up with us quickly and soon we were sprawled on her bed, sharing headphones and talking softly.

Jasmine snuggled closer to me. "Quit stealing all the line." She mumbled good-naturedly as she tugged on the headphones.

I grinned and tugged the line back. "Come closer than, you freak."

Without a second's hesitation she pressed herself against me, tucking her head cockily against my shoulder.

It may have just been the vodka but a pleasant warm feeling seeped into my stomach and stayed there. It clearly had no intention of leaving me so long as Jasmine stayed curled into my side like this. It was even stronger than when she'd been talking earlier.

Lying here with her, music playing softly in my ear, it was all just too humble. Too right. I felt as if a huge weight had vanished from me, leaving me light and…happy. I never wanted to be anywhere else again. Just the two of us, alone together in this room with vodka and music and a bed large enough to share. Forever.

I tucked my arm under her head. "Thanks for this Jas."

Jasmine snuggled closer to me, her head resting comfortably in the hollow between my shoulder and neck. "For what?" She asked, sounding tired. One of her legs was kicked on top of mine slightly so that our ankles crossed.

I smiled and softly kissed the top of her head, the action making my stomach flutter for some reason. "For being here…" I said. "…for loving me."

She didn't reply, her eyes were closed, her breathing was slow. But she was here. With me.

I pressed my cheek against her forehead, my eyes drooping as well. I'd never just lain with anyone like this before. I could feel her slowly slipping into sleep beside me, her breaths becoming slower and deeper, her face ever so slightly more relaxed. So comfortable and trusting that she was letting herself succumb to exhaustion in my arms. It was strange but…intimate, just feeling her next to me… holding her…This just felt so comfortable… so right. I inhaled deeply. She smelled so nice…