BOOM, Here is a chapter finally. Look, it's so hard to right a birth isn't it? I've not had children myself so this is probably literally NOTHING in comparrison to the real thing but hey ho! Let me be – I tried okay!

So, I am full on at work atm, so I won't be able to write till either Wednesday or Thursday but i'll try!

Chapter 21 – Little Grey

I've been at this whole labor thing for hours. Nothing is happening. My head hurts, my body aches and he still isn't here. I'm pretty sure Christian is about ready to have an aneurysm cause he cannot seem to help me out of this.
My waters broke at around 8:10am and Dr Crowe said this should start my labor picking up – but Ted must be stubborn like his dad cause he hasn't moved a cm.
I am beyond tired. I can't keep my eyes open but I can't switch my brain off to even think about having a nap.
"Mrs Grey, we are going to try you on some Pitocin to help move the labor along further"
I feel irritated and I know Abigail is trying to help me but she is really starting to piss me off. I'm tempted just to yell at her to pull him out.
I barely even respond to her as they prepare the drugs to try and induce me further. I know if this doesn't work they will want to give me a C-section and I really don't want that. I want to push Ted out myself. I haven't carried him this far to not do this all properly.
"Please Ana, what about a C-Section?" Christian mentions again and I roll my eyes.
"I want to push him out myself" I reply and cringe as my back ripples in pain. He sighs but doesn't push me any further. Good idea Grey.
I watch Christian as he paces back and forth the suite on his phone, I wonder who he is texting but I don't ask.
I phoned Ray earlier and let him know that I am in labor and he is traveling down with his new lady friend Rachel. I haven't met her but she makes my dad happy and for that, I cannot complain.
Christian asked me if I wanted to call my mom and I nearly about cried. My mom wasn't even that accommodating when I told her I was pregnant. She did the whole mom rant of 'you're too young Ana. You and Christian have not even been married that long, blah blah blah' I tried my best not to hang up on her. Even after the miscarriage she still is not keen on me having a baby. A part of me is sad that she isn't here and supporting me as I bring her first grandchild in to the world but I can't be near her. With Morton appearing back in my life for that brief period of time, I am reminded of how shit she was to me when I were younger and to be honest, I don't need her.
Abigail attaches the pitocin to me and says that I should start to feel a difference. I pray that she is right. I rub my belly, Oh Ted, please let me have an easy delivery.
"Are you hungry?" Christian asks. Again.
"no" I reply shyly cause I no he will hate my answer.
"I really wish you'd eat Ana" and I know it is killing him but the last thing I can focus on right now is food. I just want to push this sodden baby out!

There is a knock at the door and Kate pops her head round. Once she see's me her face is split into a grin.
"Oh Ana, you look tired" She speaks and I glare at her with the most bitchiest face I can. She giggles in response.
"How far along are you?"
"Not enough" I reply "He's taking forever. I think I'm 5cm. That's all" Kate boggles her eyes slightly but then brings her facial expression back under control.
"I'm sure it'll pick up soon. Little man is already being a pain then" She giggles again trying to lift the mood but I'm really not enjoying it.
"Mmm something like that".
Kate stays for a while but then leaves me too it. I feel mean but I am really not in the mood for guests. Christian hasn't spoken much. I don't think he knows what to do but he's being perfect. He holds my hand and kisses my forehead. These little things make everything better. I know how hard this is for him. It's all out of his control. Each time I wince in pain he is on me like a flash. I am so grateful that he is my husband.
It feels like it has been a year but apparently it has only been an hour. Abigail comes back in to check on me.
I see her expression change slightly and the hope in me picks up.
"How many now?" I ask.
I see her look at me and question how she is going to respond.
"6cm. That's okay – he's just moving slowly. But he is moving" she says happily and checks my charts.

6. Fucking. Cm.
Are you kidding me? I've been here fucking hours and I've only dilated 1 more fucking Cm since the last time they checked.
I throw my head back on the pillow and stare at the ceiling. Im am too exhausted for this.
"Ana" Christian goes to speak but stops.
I start to feel the wet sensation around my eyes and I want to sob. In fact – I do sob. I let the dam break and all these tears spill down my cheeks.
"No, no baby" Christian speaks and his hands are wiping away the water.
"I'm so tired" I sniffle out and I see his pained expression.
"You're doing so great baby. I am so proud of you" His words mean everything to me but they don't stop the tears flowing.
"I really want to do this Christian" he places his lips on my forehead and I start to calm.
He doesn't reply to me and that's okay. I know he doesn't want me to but I'm going to try and prove them that I can do this.

–

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
That machine starts going wild next to me and my heart starts to beat like a fright train. Christian is stood in front of the machine watching the lines jump all over the place. I don't understand what is going on but it's something to do with Ted.
"what's going on?" I squeal at Christian but Dr Crowe walks in and checks the machines. I see her read something really fast and she turns to look at me.
"Mrs Grey, the baby is in distress. We need to do a C-section"
My heart stops and the realization hits. I can't do this. I won't be able to push him out.
"But I wanted to push him out" I repeat those words again.
"Ana, please" Christian chimes in. I see his forehead glisten slightly with sweat. He is nervous.
"Mrs Grey, we need to do this". I feel defeated and the odds are not in my favor.
"Okay" I say quietly.
"Finally" Dr Crowe speaks and buzzes the buzzer to get a gathering of nurses to me. I am suddenly wheeled to a free surgery room. I stare at the lights above me as I move through the corridors of the hospital. Tears are in my eyes and I am scared. Christian has been told to change into scrubs. I want him here. I can't do this with out him.
I'm pushed through big doors and transferred into another bed. I lean back on the bed and look upwards.
I new nurse who I don't know tries to small talk with me but I can' really focus on her.
"Where's Christian?" I ask.
"He'll be here in a moment, Mrs Grey" I feel annoyed cause that doesn't specify a particular time but I count in my head 1.. 2.. 3..

In front of me a sheet is placed across my neck so I cannot see anything lower to that. I feel like I am now disconnected to my body and I am starting to panic.
"Ana" I hear and Christian is in the room. They give him a chair and he is sat next to my head. I focus my mind on him.
God, even in bright blue scrubs he is the most delicious man in the world.
"I'm scared" I whisper out
"No. No, not my Ana. He'll be here soon baby" he speaks to softly to me- like a child.
"I'm sorry"
"Why are you sorry?" he looks at me confused.
"I wanted to do this properly"
"Ana, you are. You've done brilliantly. I want you both safe, that's all. I love you"
"I love you too".
I have no idea what they are doing to me below the curtain but even though it makes me feel anxious, I am glad I can't see. Blood makes me queasy.
"Can you feel this Ana?" Dr Crowe asks and I notice that is the first time she hasn't referred to me as Mrs Grey.
"Feel what?"
"so you can't feel this?" She presses again

"No?"
"Okay, lets go" she says and I guess this is it. Little Grey will be here in a matter of what, minutes?

I notice Christian every now and then poke his head over the curtain to see what they are doing. Rather him than me.
I feel a weird sensation on what I think is my stomach. It's numb but I can still feel weird tugs every now and then. It's not uncomfortable just unusual.
"What's going on?" In ask Christian but he doesn't respond to me, he is too focused in whatever they are doing behind that god damn curtain.
"It's definitely a boy" I hear Dr Crowe speak and Christian is now leaning over the sheet.
Does that mean he is here? And before I ask the question a cry fills the room. It's the most perfect little cry I have ever heard.
My eyes are filled with tears – again and Christian disappears out of my sight.
"He's a beautiful baby, Mrs Grey" the unknown nurse speaks and I smile at her. I can't talk, I want to see him. I am so overwhelmed. After all this – Hyde, blip, Morton and every other bastard thing that has been thrown at us, we have made it.
I try to listen and carefully as I can to whatever is happening below me.
"Cut right here Mr Grey"

"Perfect. Let's wrap him up and we'll take him to see his mum" Oh shit, that's me! I eagerly wait. Christian walks over to me first.
His eyes are damp and he has red splotches around them. The nurse walks over with a little blue blanket and places him into Christian's arm and leaves us alone for a minute.
"Mrs Grey, I think there is someone that would like to meet you" Christian speaks softly as he leans our baby closer to me.
I intake a breath. He is utterly beautiful and all Christian. My god, he is Christian's double and he's only a few minutes old! Every inch of him is perfect. His little lips are pressed together in a line as all the crying earlier has been forgotten about. His hair is the same color as Christian's and I wonder what his eyes are too? I'd wager they are gray. Of course, he is a little Christian.
"He's perfect"
"Oh Ana. Thank you. Him, you – it's all I've ever dreamed of. God, I love you both so much"

Ted is weighed and measured. My 6lb 2oz baby and 20 inches long. He is all perfection and I am so in love.
We sit and marvel at our son whilst I am stitched, stapled and glued together again. I feel like that egg in that nursery Rhyme. Humpty Dumpty – or something?
I have no recollection of time but it feels like I have lost a year of life. Once back in my suite nurse Abigail suggests I do skin on skin for a little while before we get Ted to latch on to feed.
I pull my gown apart and Abigail places Ted on my chest. He feels warm and ever so tiny. I breathe in his scent and he smells oddly amazing.
Christian snaps picture after picture on his phone and I want to protest in how disgusting I probably look right now but I don't.
"I can't believe it" he speaks. "I just love him so much" and I too Christian. Everything is perfect and this is the start of something so good.

Welcome to the world little Grey, we love you so, so much!

No hate please. I found this hard to write and I honestly cannot do giving birth any justice! I also struggled really hard to write from christian in this ( hense the last of speaking from Mr Grey ) so I chose to stick to purely Ana. My mind is so boggled recently so I'm going to just stick to Ana for a moment as she is a lot easier to write from in my opinion. Anyway, see you soon I hope!