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**Cash**
"Captain's log, stardate…whatever the hell day this is in space time. We're out in the wild's of this planet known as Earth, seeking out two possible red shirts who may or may not have been turned into space zombie fodder. I'm commanding this away team with the curt and always miserable Mr. Dixon, a Klingon who seems to have more brawn than brain and an incredibly small dick—"
"Shut up, jackass!"
"I've come up against some hostility from this Klingon, which is not to be unexpected from a race with little patience and even littler balls—"
"I will shove my right hand up your ass and twist it!"
"I'm hoping on this journey into the unknown wilderness of this planet Earth I come across some three breasted alien broad with whom I hope to conquer with my human penis—"
"You are one giant human penis."
Cash chuckled at Merle's rage, keeping up with the man as he stormed through the woods. "Look, I'm not trying to be a dick or anything, but I don't think they made it."
They had been 'tracking' Carol and the Lieutenant for two days and Cash meant every bit of those quotations around the word 'tracking', because in his opinion there was no point in them going around in circles looking for the two.
And Merle wouldn't let them go back, he said his baby brother would only be tempted to go with them when they set out again.
So, here they were, cold and hungry and 'tracking'.
"I like them, I do, but Jesus, two days—"
"Shut your face," Merle growled. "They're not dumb ass kids out in the wild trying to yank a boar's dick, they're out here, just…lost or some shit."
"Lost?" Cash demanded. "The Lieutenant? With all his Marine Corps training? Lost?"
"Look, just shut up," Merle snapped. "We find them alive or we find them dead, but we find them."
"Whatever," Cash grumbled. "I'm fucking hungry though."
"Bitch, eat some bark or something," Merle snapped as they approached the highway.
"I don't think that's healthy," Cash objected, falling on his ass as Merle shoved him down hard. About to protest, he scrambled up, only to flop down again at the sight of a broken down piece of military crap sitting on the asphalt of the highway.
"I don't give a flying monkey's dick if this piece of shit won't run, we keep on!" Someone shouted, their voice ringing off the trees.
Cash huddled up behind Merle, hand on his pistol as a fiery headed man stormed around the side of the vehicle, followed by a chubby mulleted loser and…whoa.
He admired the legs on the woman strutting behind them.
"Jesus, them shorts are so short they're practically inside her," he murmured.
"Fucking beautiful," Merle replied. "Think they took our people?"
"Probably, dangerous lunatics running around these days. But that ain't the truck we heard about, the one with the peace sign."
"Think there's more people running around Georgia than we thought?"
"Maybe they think Atlanta is ripe for the picking too."
"So, what now, genius?" The woman demanded. "We walk? Hope to God we find something that runs on diesel in bumfuck Georgia? In case you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of…well, a forest."
"There's a road," the red headed man grunted. "At the end of this road is Washington. We walk."
"I'm…not really comfortable with that," the man with the mullet said. "No offence, but logically these ugly things are on the rise. It's sort of an ebb and flow effect, like basic physics."
"Don't matter, we march on." The red head declared.
Merle emerged slowly from the bushes and Cash struggled to keep up, following the bigger man's amazingly adroit gait as he stalked through the ditch, his pistol raised in waiting as he approached the three.
Cash kept his eyes open, looking for others, but it seemed there was only three and they looked like they had been down some rough roads.
"Guns down!" Merle shouted, leaping up over the crest of the ditch onto the highway. "Put your guns down!"
Raising his own pistol, Cash kept behind Merle a little (just in case things went to shit) and followed him.
The three by the vehicle, turned on Merle, their own weapons raised.
"Put your guns down! Who the hell are you?!" Merle shouted.
"Balls to that," the red head stated, training his rifle on Merle and dancing around with the man as the others watched uneasily. "You put your weapon down!"
"I'd rather eat a dick," Merle snarled back.
"I got one, if you're interested," the other man growled.
"I feel like we're trapped in a Mobius loop," the mulleted man declared, stepping back towards the truck slowly.
"Who the hell are you? What are you doing in these parts?" Merle demanded.
"Free country last I heard," the woman spat, her pistol wavering between Merle and Cash.
Cash shook his head and motioned for her to keep her weapon on Merle, hoping that would work.
It didn't, she whipped it in his face.
"What do you want with us?" She barked.
"We're—"
"Shut up, Cash!" Merle ordered, eyes still trained on the ginger with the porn 'stache. "We're looking for our people, you assholes wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"
"Don't call us assholes, asshole," the ginger snapped. "We haven't seen your people, just let us go on our way and you go yours, fair?"
"I think you're lying," Merle said.
"Think these are lying too?" The woman asked, grabbing her shirt and tugging it down.
Both Cash and Merle were distracted, which was a waste in retrospect, since she only flashed bra.
The ginger pulled back and let fly before Merle could recover from seeing tit and Cash was on his knees, gripping his bruised balls as the woman took aim on them.
Both men were on the ground and subdued by the ginger and the lady, while the mullet headed chubby fellow stood nearby anxiously.
"Alright," the ginger said lowly. "I'm gonna do you a world of good, shit monkey. I'm gonna take your guns and let you walk. Fair?"
"Fair!" Cash gasped, staggering to his feet, holding his sore balls and booking it for the trees before anyone could do or say anything else.
His mama didn't raise no fool.
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**Carol**
She had been fighting it for a long time, too long, but her breasts felt full and almost like they were going to burst. A dull ache irritated her deep inside and she knew she couldn't put it off any longer.
In the dark of the well, she eyed the old rusty pail they had been using as a latrine and frowned, shifting on her Lieutenant shaped seat.
"Need some private time?" He joked.
"Yeah, sorry." She stood up.
"No, worries, nature calls whenever she wants," he said jovially.
They stood back to back in the cramped well, Carol awkwardly eyeing the bucket, before tentatively unbuttoning her blouse. She winced and began doing what she needed to do, hoping to God the Lieutenant didn't notice that the sounds of her 'peeing' were different.
"Want me to sing?" He asked.
She could hear the smile in his voice, he had done it before for her and she took him up on the offer.
"Well I'm goin' down south child, this weather here's too cold," the Lieutenant belted out loudly.
She smiled and pushed down her bra, gripping her breast and – for lack of a more dignified term – milked herself into the pail.
"You know I'm goin' down South child, this weather here's too cold. I gotta lay around Chicago, I ain't got change in cold. When I woke up this morning and found my baby gone. You know I woke up this morning found my baby gone. I couldn't do nothing but bury my head in home. Well I was in jail with my back turned to the wall.
Well I was in jail with my back turned to the wall. Now McKinley is in a free world having herself a home."
Carol sensed the song ending and hurried to finish up, but it took time, she had two days' worth to get rid of.
She thought of her poor baby girl and sighed heavily. All this waste of breast milk and her poor baby was probably starving.
"We need to get out of here," she said.
The Lieutenant stopped singing. "Alright," he said simply. "We'll try that uggie idea you had."
She smiled. "Thank you."
"We have babies to get home to," he said.
She glanced over her shoulder at him, in her worry over her own child, she forgot he was a new daddy and knew what that feeling was like, wanting to be close enough to protect a child.
"You…ah…everything okay back there?" He asked over his shoulder. "Just…not that I'm…I'm not trying to make you nervous, it's just…"
"I'm…it's…embarrassing," she admitted.
"Period troubles?" He asked.
The surprised and concern in his voice touched her, but she laughed. "No…I'm…getting rid of some excess milk."
"What?" He demanded.
"Breast milk," she clarified.
The Lieutenant tilted his head back and laughed loudly. "Oh, thank God! For a second I was…I don't know what I was, I guess I forgot you had that thing going on."
"That breast milk thing?" She teased.
The man was quiet, hands in his pockets, eyeing the darkness before him. "What's it feel like?" He asked suddenly.
"What?"
"You know…milk…coming…out of you?"
She beamed shyly, her face flushing. "Lieutenant!"
"Sorry!"
Her hand was beginning to cramp, so she switched and sighed heavily. "It feels…I don't know…like nothing really. I suppose I only notice when they're full or empty?"
"So it's…not like…taking a leak?" He asked.
She smiled. "No."
"Good. I thought maybe it was something that you opened the floodgates or something."
"It's more like…milking a cow, but don't ever think of me like that!" She stated with a grin.
"Never," he replied.
They fell silent again, Carol switching hands again, the Lieutenant humming to cover the sound politely.
"What's it feel like when you get your period?" He asked.
She opened her mouth, about to admonish him when the sounds of snapping twigs and crunching leaves distracted her.
Carol pulled her bra up and reached for her knife at her side, the Lieutenant grabbing his rifle from where it was propped against the side of the well.
They both waited quietly.
"Should we yell?" He asked.
She frowned at the opening above them.
They waited a little longer, both frozen in their spot, listening, the footsteps above them weren't regular.
"Walker," she whispered. It sounded like it was alone.
"Guess we shouldn't talk too loudly then!" He shouted, voice echoing up the well.
Carol glanced at him, mildly amused.
The shuffling paused.
"Probably should keep your voice down!" She hollered back at him.
"Shh! You'll wake the dead!" He commanded.
The shuffling picked up its pace and soon there was a walker, dangling over the edge of the hole, leaning in, gnashing and growling at them.
"Come on, podna," the Lieutenant called up. "Come down here and get us! We're cold and fresh!"
The walker reached for them like it could scoop them out and like the idiot it was, it reached too far and tumbled down.
Carol and the Lieutenant pressed themselves back against the sides of the well and in the near darkness, they struggled to stay away from the gnashing teeth of the walker, as they also tried to kill it.
She found a flailing arm fumbling for one of them and grabbed it, yanking it behind the thing's back as the Lieutenant ran his combat knife up through the underside of its chin.
The walker dropped with a thud and the two stood in the darkness panting.
"Did it get you?" The Lieutenant asked.
"No, you?"
"No, got lucky," he fell silent almost immediately. "Oh, uh, I know it's dark, ange, but…I can see your brassiere."
She glanced down and laughed, pulling her blouse closed. "Oh! Sorry!"
"Let's, uh, leave that part out of the story when we tell it to the grandkids, yeah?" He teased.
Carol chuckled. "Deal."
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vickih - Thank you! I'm glad you think it was a great chapter!
Ciao Bella - Yes, he really does adore her, doesn't he?
Merle's Right Hand - Darling, I always know what you mean.
Brazen Hussy - My friend, let us agree to disagree. You know I love and respect your opinions! ^_^
Yazzy x - I bet it's cold and smells musty. V_V
Surplus Imagination - Oh, I hope you took care of yourself after that long week. Take some you time, eat a bagel or whatever comforts you. Get peons to rub your feet! ^_^
Claire Randall Fraser - I swear to God you read my mind half the time! Spooky! I had the breast milk thing planned! LOL!