When I wake up, I feel a slight weight on my chest. Glancing down, my heart leaps at the sight that meets me. The girl of my dreams is snoring gently in my arms, her beautiful raven hair spread out like a pillow, tickling my arm. I watch her sleep, noting her unmatched beauty. Ok, so I'm a lovesick fool, I admit it. I lost my heart to this girl back when I was five years old. My father laughed at me and said he couldn't blame me. I think because he had felt the same for Katniss's mother. When he told me that, years after I had told him I was in love with her, I nearly lost it. But it sort of all made sense to me. Why my mom had always been so…bitter. I think she knew. She knew that she hadn't been Dad's first choice. And she continued to be bitter and angry and she lashed out at the family. I wasn't the only one she hit. My two brothers often defended me and got bruises of their own. I think I angered Mom the most because I was her last chance at having a girl. So she hated me even more. But when I had told Dad that I loved Katniss Everdeen, he gently patted my cheek and smiled.

"She inherited her powers from her father."

"What powers?"

"When they sing, even the birds stop to listen. Your little songbird is just like her father. She captured your heart with her voice."

He wasn't wrong. Though I love Katniss for more than just her voice (don't get me started, the list is too long) it was the moment I knew I had loved her. Glancing down, I sigh. These past four months have been nothing but confusing. Don't get me wrong, they've been filled with happy moments with her but we both have so much healing to do, and Katniss automatically puts walls up to protect her heart. I think her feelings toward me have grown and have changed. I know it once was all an act but I don't believe it is anymore. For starters, who would she be acting for? It's been months since a camera has been shoved into our faces. I think we can thank Haymitch for that. But it's the way she looks at me. Her grey eyes capture mine and I feel myself become a puddle on the floor. I am so pathetic in the way I love her. And I'm thankful everyday that I rediscovered my love. I was afraid when I returned that I would never feel the same. That the Capitol had robbed me of my capability to love. But slowly, I fell in love with her all over again. I can only hope that one day, perhaps one day soon, her feelings will change and I won't have to share her with anyone. To be honest, hearing her claim me last night took my breath away. I should have known not to tease but what would she say if I called her mine? Is it really that simple? Maybe with some women but definitely not Katniss. She's strong. And stubborn. As stubborn as she is beautiful. I feel like she would shoot me if I called her mine. And yet a part of me wants to try it. I want to claim her, in more ways than one. Yes, I'll admit, I fantasize about her (hell, I've fantasized about the girl since my pre-pubescent days) and want her in all the ways you could want a person. I want Katniss. I ache for her. Last night we crossed a barrier we hadn't crossed before and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed we didn't take it further. (I mean, I am a teenage guy with needs, needs that have never really been met.) For crying out loud, I was Reaped when I was 17. I hate to sound like that whiney kid but I've been through more than most people go through their entire lives. Katniss and I both, I mean. I'm actually really surprised and REALLY grateful that we are still able to feel a shred of intimacy. It lets me know that we aren't dead. We're healing, and we're healing together.

And, don't get me wrong, all this kissing is wonderful but I'm getting kind of tired of having to disappear into the bathroom to calm myself down, as horrible as that may make me sound. Oh shit. I'm getting hard just thinking about last night and right now, I've got her pressed up against me, with her warm body nestled in the crook of my arm. She's tossed off the covers like she always does and her nightshirt has ridden up so most of her thigh is exposed. I swallow as my eyes travel up and down her form. God she's perfect. Aaaand, I just got harder. If I don't get out of this bed right now, I may end up jumping her bones and I'm pretty sure that's not the right approach to getting her to trust me and open up to me. I gently slide my arm from underneath her and feel tingles where she had slept on it all night. She moans just a little but continues to sleep. Sighing with relief, I am careful not to jiggle the bed as I reattach my prosthetic then quickly dress. I turn back around and give her a feather-light kiss on her forehead before I collect my things and swiftly leave the room.

Baking has always calmed me down but today I just can't get Katniss out of my head. The way she smells of trees and the earth, the way her braid rests against her breast, how her olive skin looks in the new dress I bought her, how her stormy eyes capture mine and how we can communicate with nods and gestures. How her curves have changed due to healthier diet and getting back to her routine of hunting and fishing. Her shapely legs, her rounded backside…oh DAMN IT! A burning smell alerts me and I run over to the oven and pull the tray out. Fantastic. I've just burned three loaves of bread. I'll have nothing to take to Haymitch and Katniss later. Shaking my head, I start to knead more dough, trying not to think of how much I'd like to knead something else. I quickly adjust my jeans and huff.

"Good god, bread boy, aren't you supposed to take it out before it gets this black?" I grin at the sound of the voice and turn to embrace the owner of it. Leaning back, I can't help but notice how good she looks. Johanna had been a prisoner with me in the Capitol. We had endured countless hours of torture and hearing each others' screams and we were both pretty messed up by it. But just as I was starting to build a life with Katniss, she had found someone to build a life with as well. She still drops by from time to time to check up on Katniss and me. Since Katniss is legally bound to District 12, we don't get to visit our friends much so it's always a treat when they drop by. Johanna jumps up on the counter and picks off the good parts of the burned bread.

"How are you doing, Joahnna?"

"Oh life couldn't be better. George doesn't mind being with a total nutcase. What about you? How are you and the girl on fire?"

"We're fine," I say dismissively. She raises a brow and crosses her arms.

"Yeah, ok. That tells me that you are NOT fine. What's up?" I can only shrug. What am I supposed to tell her?

"Well you're obviously not getting laid." I nearly fall out at her words.

"Johanna, we are not having this conversation."

"Ok, you're DEFINITELY not getting laid. What gives? Aren't you two living together now?"

"It's more complicated than that, Jo."

"What's complicated? You make her scream your name while you're-"

"JOHANNA!" Seriously, if she keeps going, I'm going to run to Katniss's house and claim her as mine once and for all, her feelings about it be damned. She can tell she's struck a nerve and she smirks.

"I know you've been thinking it. What's the problem? You guys still having trouble getting close? Are you still having flashbacks?"

"They're less frequent but yeah I still have them. I go to her place and hold her at night but then we get up and go about our days. I only see her at nighttime, unless I have lunch with her and Haymitch."

"Have you asked her to move in with you?" I turn back to the oven, putting the new bread in and setting a timer this time.

"I feel like she'd avoid the subject. You know how she gets, when anything with intimacy or feelings come up."

"Yeah, she shuts down completely. And you can't let her do that. You've confessed your love a thousand times, now it's time for her to do the same." I try to hide my wince but Johanna sees right through me. She moves off the counter and searches my eyes.

"You don't think she really loves you."

"I…it's not that, but…"

"But?"

"It just brings up old memories, ok? During the Games, it was all an act. When I found out that she didn't have real feelings for me…it hurt, Jo. I was heartbroken. And then we went back into the Games again, and this time, I was ready to let her go. Because I was determined to keep her alive. And when she kissed me on the beach and told me she needed me…I felt a spark of hope. I thought maybe she was starting to feel something real. And then we got separated and all this shit went down, and I remember being so confused about her, wanting to kill her but knowing that there was a part of me that loved her. I couldn't sort my feelings about her."

"That's because the Capitol fucked with your mind, Peeta," she says gently.

"I know that! I get that and I know a lot of my doubts come from my hijacked brain. But when I came back, months ago, we tried slowly to get back what we had, whatever that was. And it's been great, sleeping with her is great, holding her is great, kissing her is even greater but…"
"But," she says more gently than I expect.

"But it's not enough," I say miserably. The words are finally there. I'm finally admitting it. "I want more and I'm not sure if she wants it. And if she doesn't…well, what am I doing? Wasting my time being in love with someone who will never feel that way. I may be a lovesick idiot but I'm not a masochist. I can't go on pretending that maybe one day, she'll finally learn to love me. My heart can't handle that, Johanna. Not after everything else."

"Peeta, you've been in love with her since you were a little tiny baker boy! You're not just going to stop loving her, you know."

"I know that. But I need to know if we have a chance. If she has any strong feelings for me at all. I need to know if I should hope for that."

"You should always hope for that," she says gently, surprising me again. She smiles and squeezes my hand. "She's been through a lot. You both have. I'm surprised all of us aren't locked up in a padded room somewhere. But I see how you're helping each other live again and I see the glow you have. You love her. And I know she loves you. You just need to be patient with her and let her tell you. It'll be worth it when she finally says those words." I can't help but smile at her words. And what an amazing feeling it will be, if I ever get to hear that from Katniss. But is it ever going to happen? I just don't know.

"I've got to get going. It was good to see you, bread boy!"

"Maybe you can stop by for dinner tonight? I know Katniss would love to see you."

"Count on it. George is away for a convention and he didn't want me to be alone so I checked myself into the hotel down the street."

"Johanna, you could have stayed with one of us."

"I didn't know if you two would be too loud for my tastes," she winks as she says this and I just shake my head. "I'll be by for dinner later. Throw this shit out, it tastes terrible." She gestures to the burned bread and I smile, watching her leave. I collect the burned loaves and walk outside to toss them to the penned-up animals. My heart lurches as I remember the last time I had done this, my eyes automatically seeing a starving girl, looking at me with such defeat and sadness that I feel my own heart breaking. I remember Katniss and I talking about it in the cave during the Games. I confessed to her I felt guilty for not going out into the rain, actually going to her but she had shushed me and brushed it off. She's told me before, though, what that bread did for her and her family. It gave them hope, a way to go on. My eyes travel over to Katniss's house, across the street, and I sigh before turning back to my own house and going inside. As I continue to bake, I think about how much I had loved to help out in the Bakery. My father and I always snuck little treats together so Mom wouldn't see. My brothers would have other things to do and weren't in the Bakery too much. So Dad taught me everything he knew. Mom had even taught me how to decorate the cakes. I owe so much to them. My eyes travel around the kitchen and I feel a painful longing. I know what I want to do, I'm just not sure if it's going to be possible at this point in my life. And it certainly won't be possible without Katniss's support. Glancing at the clock, I remember I had told Katniss I would have lunch with her and Haymitch. Hurrying around the kitchen, I cover everything and make sure everything is tidy before I wrap up the perfect loaves and toss them into a bag.

Just a quick one before work! If I get some awesome reviews, I will post the next one tonight! :) Thanks again for reading! SO glad everyone is enjoying!