I hear the door open and I glance at the clock. Peeta had said he would come to lunch with Haymitch and me but he was quite late. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't come at all. I had woken this morning to find the bed empty and him gone without any signs of his visit. I had to smell the pillow next to me to make sure his scent was still there, so I would know it hadn't been a dream. He left me confused and terrified. This is why I still haven't confessed my love to him. Because even though he says it all the time, we still act like strangers sometimes and I have no idea why. I sometimes wonder if saying it will fix our problems but that's the fairytale of an innocent, carefree girl…something I had not been for a long time.

"Hey brainless!"

"Johanna!" I embrace her tightly and note how improved she looks. I know only a bit of what she had endured with Peeta and I'm impressed and proud at how they have both pulled themselves up and rebuilt their lives.

"Katniss you're too skinny. Doesn't that boy bake you enough bread?" I laugh and shake my head. Leave it to Johanna to immediately delve into mine and Peeta's relationship.

"I'm fine. I just like to run and keep in shape. Got to build back some of that muscle that I lost in the Games."

"Yeah, I hear you. I used to swim a lot but…" she falls silent and goes pale. I reach out and squeeze her hand and she seems to snap to. Johanna had been tortured with water and electric-shock. It was one of the sick ways the Capitol tried to torture information out of her. Ever since then, she's been deathly afraid of water. She shakes her head and puts on a fake smile but I can tell she's seeing things. It's the same look Peeta gets when he goes silent and starts remembering.

"How's George," I ask gently. She shakes herself.

"He's good. He was sent to District 8 for a convention of sorts. The Capitol is getting a lot of their dresses and clothing from District 8 now. George is becoming very successful with the different stylists." I can't believe how much has changed in such a short time. I know the Districts are still struggling in a way but we've all risen from the ashes and improved our Districts.

"Do the stylists still have a lot of work since there are no tributes to beautify?"

"Oh the Capitol may have calmed down their fashion choices but they still look to stylists to make them outlandish outfits and make up."

"I still can't believe you fell in love with a Capitol man." Johanna's eyes flash and her grin fades.

"He isn't. He's originally from District 8. He moved to the Capitol as an apprentice. He is not Capitol scum." I bite my lip. Obviously I had gone too far.

"I'm sorry Joahnna," I say in a small voice. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No harm done, brainless. Now, tell me about your bread boy. How are you two doing?"

"We're…fine." I know from her expression she doesn't believe me. I sigh and shake my head.

"Whenever I think we are doing better, getting closer, he closes off and takes a step back. I don't think we'll ever be normal."

"Of course you're not normal, Katniss. You're the star-crossed lovers from District 12 for Christ-sake. And I don't have to remind you what all you've both been through. But that shouldn't mean you should stop looking for happiness with him."

"I haven't stopped but I think he deserves so much better than me, Johanna." I see her roll her eyes and I glare at her.

"The boy has been head over heels in love with you since he was five, Katniss. He obviously thinks you are worth his time and he doesn't want anyone else. And I KNOW you love him. Everyone knows it. So why are you so afraid to fess up to it?"

"You don't see him, Jo. You don't see him after a flashback, when he first sees me again and that hatred is still there."

"Katniss, they fucked with his mind! They intentionally took images of you and fucked them up, so he would be turned against you! The fact that he is still here, still fighting for your love, still putting up with your shit, should speak wonders for the pair of you. You are THE most infuriating girl I have ever met." I gape at her, feeling like I'd been punched in the stomach.

"You act like it's all my fault." Johanna's face falls and she shakes her head.

"I didn't mean it like that Katniss, honest I didn't. Look…I was there with him. I know what they did to him. I know what he endured. The fact that he found his way back to you…it's a miracle, Katniss, it really is. And the boy still loves you. He might have lost pieces of himself but he is finding them again and you need to be there by his side when he does. He will never be completely whole without your love. And you need to show him. Peeta is the kind of guy who needs reassurance. I'm not saying he is completely innocent but I don't think he is the only one who closes off. You need to find a way to open up your heart and let him in. You have both been through so much, you owe it to yourself to see what kind of future you can have with him." I reach for her hand and squeeze. She smiles and squeezes back before dropping my hand.

"Are you guys living together yet?"

"Kind of. He comes over at night and holds me while we sleep." She looks immensely bored and I can't help but laugh.

"Oh whooopie, you hold each other while you sleep. Come on, girl on fire, where is the good stuff?"

"Johanna," I groan.

"No seriously. Peeta is a guy. I mean he's awesome and perfect and all that, yada yada, but he's still a guy. He has needs. I can't believe he has managed to lay beside you every night without touching you." The memories from last night come flooding back and I bite my lip just thinking about it. Johanna, who notices everything, smirks.

"Oh, do tell!"

"There's nothing to tell. We just…we just messed around a little last night. But stopped before anything got crazy."

"Crazy as in…?"

"As in we were both still fully dressed." Johanna rolls her eyes and covers her face with her hands.

"Girl I am going to take you shopping and get you some sexy lingerie so that he can't resist you!" I feel myself go very red.

"We haven't…we're not…I don't…-"

"Oh stop it, Katniss. Quit being such a prude. You and Peeta NEED this. It will help things, I promise."
"Why is sex always the answer to everything," I respond angrily.

"Because it's fucking fantastic!" I roll my eyes but snort with laughter. I just can't get anywhere with this girl but strangely enough, she is making sense.

"But seriously, you guys need some sort of connection. I know how much you love him, Katniss. If you can't tell him…then show him." And with that, she whips around and stalks out the door.

"Peeta invited me to dinner later so I'll see you in a bit!" I wave her off but then her words sink in and I freeze.

When had she talked to Peeta?!

As I stir the stew, Johanna's words echo in my head. She has already seen Peeta. Has she talked to him? Has he told her something? Did they talk about me? I'm pretty sure they did. What had he told her? What had she told him? Was her advice about us moving forward with our relationship based on what Peeta said? I find myself immensely anxious and frustrated. I can't focus on making lunch. I'll apologize to Haymitch but I have to get out of this house and into the woods. It's the only place that can calm me down. I grab my bow and my jacket and bolt outside. I nearly flatten Haymitch on the road and he looks surprised.

"Where's the fire sweetheart?"

"I'm sorry Haymitch but I can't stay for lunch. I made you some stew, it's cooling. I've got to go."

"What-?" I don't stick around to let him finish the question. I take off toward the woods without looking back. My heart is thundering in my ears and I can't think. The more I think about it, the more upset I become. Why can't he talk to me? Granted I'm probably overreacting because I have no idea what he told Johanna but the fact that he's talking to her about us bothers me the most, especially when we never talk about it.

But then…is that his fault or mine? I toss my braid over my shoulder and huff. It's easier blaming everything on him. Now that I have lost him and have gotten him back, I can't do that anymore. I can't get angry with him like I used to. When Coin sent him to join our squad, I found myself avoiding him at all costs until Haymitch scolded me and reminded me that if our roles were reversed, Peeta would be doing everything he could to get me back. But isn't that how it usually is? Peeta is the perfect one and I'm the selfish girl who hurts the guy I love. Completely frustrated and feeling my skin grow hot, I collapse to the ground in tears that shake my entire body.

I am OVERWHELMED with all of the amazing reviews and kind words! and I'm SO SO excited to see old readers as well as new-welcome back guys! Thank you for continuing to read my work! Since Katniss's chapter is kinda short, I'm going to post one more before I hit bed. And will try to update again this weekend! Keep those fantastic reviews coming!

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