"I don't know what's taking him so long." I mutter, glancing up the stairs. Johanna chuckles behind me.
"Oh my dear sweet innocent girl. What did you guys do?" I whirl around, shock plastered all over my face.
"What do you mean?"
"Girl, you are glowing. And I know you didn't have sex cause you're too pure but you must have done something! Details! Now!" I grin sheepishly. Not that I can keep anything from Johanna but I never really had girlfriends and Jo is the closest I have ever had.
"Ok well, I've finally seen and touched him." She lets out a whistle and I shush her.
"About damn time! Did he like it?"
"He said it was "fucking perfect" as he put it."
"You made Peeta swear? Damn, I'd give anything to see that!" We both giggled and she shakes her head. "And is that it?"
"He…well, he took his turn with me too." Johanna's eyes light up.
"With his hands or tongue?"
"Johanna!"
"Hey, I have to ask! He probably only fingered you, right?" When I nod, she smirks. "Just wait til he uses his mouth. Holy shit, it's the most incredible thing in the world."
"More incredible than sex?" I tease her.
"it might be," she says seriously. I shake my head and finish setting the table before I turn to her.
"So…I'm confused. Why is he in the bathroom this long?"
"He's taking care of himself," she says with a shrug. I'm shocked by her candor. First off, the idea of Peeta doing that to himself is strangely arousing but I don't want Johanna thinking of him doing that. And secondly, hadn't he…released before I did? Was I not good at it or something? Of course Johanna sees the uncertainty on my face and she pats my hand.
"Worry not, little mockingjay. Guys need to do it a lot. He probably just got turned on by making you come and he needs to get that out."
"Good to see you again, Johanna," Peeta announces his arrival and we both whirl around. I have a feeling if he had heard our conversation, he would be beet red right now (sort of like I was) but he looks to be a normal color. Maybe a little flushed, which makes me wonder if Johanna was right. Was he up there, doing…that to himself? He gives Johanna a hug and then he turns to me. He seems shy for a moment and I briefly wonder why. Was it because of what we had done? Does he regret it? He assured me just moments ago that he enjoyed it and that he wants me. He wasn't lying, was he? He gives me a little peck on the cheek and I'm a little more than confused. Hoping he is just doing it because Johanna is here, I try to smile at him as I move the meat to the table.
"Should we have invited Haymitch," I ask softly, glancing out the window. Peeta nods and rises to his feet.
"I'll go get him."
"Oh stay seated, bread boy, I'll go get the drunk," Johanna says cheerfully and hurries out before we can protest. When she's gone, I waste no time in swooping down on top of Peeta and planting a rough kiss on his lips. I have to know if he's being honest with me. I can't help it, I'm paranoid. After all, I see myself in the mirror and wonder what in the hell he could see in me.
When I pull back, he's breathless and flushed.
"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"
"You didn't really kiss me when you came in so I was checking to make sure everything was ok." He eyes me, somewhat warily, though he's smiling.
"And did that confirm something for you?"
"Your reaction does," I say with a smirk, sounding braver than I feel. Though admittedly, his reaction brings me hope. He looks like he wants more. "You're looking rather flushed."
"If you keep kissing me like that, I'll have to excuse myself to the bathroom again during dinner," he says with a wink. He's still blushing and looking so adorable. I pull him closer and my hands grip his perfect ass. He jumps but smiles down at me.
"So you were taking care of yourself up there?" When he didn't answer, I lean closer and slowly slide my hands down the back of Peeta's pants, gripping his backside in my hands. His eyes widen and he bites his lip. "Why didn't you tell me to take care of it for you?"
"Uhm…I….uh…" he's stammering and blushing so bright that I feel like I'm seducing a teenage boy. With one hand on his ass, I bring the other to his hair and tug him forward. Our lips are locked while my hand massages his cheeks. He moans into my mouth and whispers my name.
"Katniss," he says in a voice that's laced with desire and longing. I hike my leg up around his thigh and feel his hand move to my backside, bringing me closer to his growing arousal. I can relax now. I know how much he wants me. Almost as much as I want him.
"Well fuck. Looks like we missed dessert," says a voice from behind us. Peeta drops me and we take several steps away from each other. Johanna is laughing hysterically while Haymitch looks like he is going to be sick.
"Damn it Johanna, you said come over for dinner. Not for dinner theatre."
"Get back to it, you two, we're enjoying the show!"
"Speak for yourself," Haymitch mutters. I am mortified and Peeta's face is so red I feel like he is going to pass out.
"Um," I mutter anxiously. "Let's eat." Johanna is stifling her giggles when we all sit down. Haymitch shakes his head and picks up his fork.
"I will most definitely knock from now on," he announces. I want to bury my face in my arms.
"Probably a good idea," Johanna replies, nudging him. "They're going to be going at it all the time-"
"And I've just lost my appetite," Haymitch drops his fork in disgust. Peeta and I can't look at each other.
"Johanna," I hiss. She looks from Peeta to me and chuckles.
"There is nothing to be ashamed of, brainless! After all the shit you've both been through, it's a wonder you're not catatonic!"
"I made cheese buns," Peeta says, in an awful attempt to change the subject. He holds out a basket and my hand is the first to dive in. He knows these are my favorite. I could eat a dozen by myself. I see him shoot me a smile, which I return. Johanna and Haymitch take some and we fall into silence. Haymitch starts to ask Johanna how the Districts are and how George is doing and I sit back and listen, my eyes straying to Peeta. He sits there listening as he chews quietly. His hair is hanging in his bright eyes and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. I feel the now-familiar warmth spread over me and I suddenly can't wait for dinner to be over with.
After Johanna and Haymitch are gone, Peeta and I clear the dishes together and he turns to me with a broad grin.
"What?" I ask him, a grin spreading across my face. I can't help it. Several months ago I would have been suspicious, glaring at him as if something was up but his smile and happiness are contagious. I can't help but love it. And him.
"Close your eyes," he says in a low voice that sends chills down my spine. I stare at him for a moment, before I close my eyes. I resist the temptation to peek to see what he is doing while I hear him bustle around the kitchen and take something out of the cabinet.
"Here," I hear his voice right by my ear and feel his breath on my cheek. "Take a bite." I feel him hold something up to my mouth and it smells sweet. My tongue darts out and tastes sugar. Tentatively, I take a bite of whatever it is and there is an explosion of flavors in my mouth. I can't help but moan a little. I open my eyes and find his gazing from underneath his long lashes. He's grinning smugly.
"Do you like it?"
"This might be the most delicious thing I have ever tasted." He hands me the rest of the cupcake and I pop the whole thing into my mouth. He looks at me, exasperated.
"I'm going to have to teach you how to eat sweets. You have to relish them. Enjoy the flavors I create for you."
"Oh, ok then, I'll be your test subject whenever you want to try a new flavor." He chuckles and wipes a thumb across my lips. I taste the chocolate and raspberry mixed with his own unique taste and I feel a wetness start to form between my legs. I lean forward to kiss him and his hands go to either side of my cheeks. He tears away and closes his eyes.
"I should, uh, I should go on home and take a shower."
"I have a shower here, you don't have to go." He chuckles and kisses me again.
"Ok Katniss but I'm out of clean clothes. Why don't you come on back to my place for the night? Stay with me?" I glance around the room and decide I do need to get out of this house. There's too many memories, painful ones, here and it would be good to be with Peeta somewhere else. I nod and he smiles.
"Ok then, grab some of your things and let's go." I hurry upstairs to my room and pack some clothes in a bag. Glancing at the bag that had been pushed to the back of my closet, I hesitate for a moment before grabbing it as well.
As I leave the room, I pause by the closed door across from me. Swallowing, my eyes widen at the sight of the door and I find that I can't really breathe.
"Katniss?" I feel his hands on my shoulders and I whirl around. He sees the tears in my eyes and his arms wrap around me, shielding me from the horrors of this house.
"Come on," he says gently as he leads me away from the room I refuse to go near.
When we enter his house, I feel warmth and delicious smells, all welcoming me. My house is only tidy because Greasy Sae or Peeta keep it so but his house is genuinely tidy. He leads me to the bedroom and sets my bags down.
"You can, um…you can unpack and use one of my drawers if you like. I mean, if you plan on spending a few days here…you're welcome to use it…I mean…" I grin at his embarrassment and stand on my tiptoes to kiss him on the nose. He seems to relax and gestures to something on the bedside table.
"I brought the rest of the cupcakes with me so help yourself while I shower. I'll only be a few minutes." I nod and he shuffles off to the bathroom across the hall. When I hear the water run, my mind starts to wander and I imagine him in there, water droplets dripping down his perfect flesh, toward forbidden destinations. Destinations that I longed to explore more. I shake myself; what is wrong with me?! When did I become this girl?
I decide to ready myself for bed and quickly dress in some baggy pants and a loose-fitting t-shirt. Peeta likes to sleep with the windows open so it's a bit cooler here than it is at my house. I go ahead and open one of his drawers and shuffle things around so I can put my folded clothes in them. It doesn't take me long to unpack because I didn't bring much with me. I hear the water shut off and I climb into bed, burying my face into his pillow. I will never tire of that smell. It's like fresh bread and vanilla with a touch of cinnamon and strangely enough, a hint of dill. It's so uniquely Peeta.
When I see him enter the room, my eyes widen and I forget how stupid I must look. All he is wearing is a towel around his waist. There is still water on his chest and his hair is fussed like it looked like when we had messed around in the living room earlier that day. The thought of it made me moan. He glances down at himself and looks sheepish.
"I forgot to take clothes in the bathroom with me," he says as an explanation. I might just throw all his clothes out the window so he can never get dressed. I'd be fine with seeing this sight everyday. He hurries to his closet and grabs boxers from the drawer. My eyes never leave him as he keeps his back to me. I give him no privacy as I watch him pull his underwear over his desirable backside, then his pants on with some difficulty. When he pulls on a t-shirt he turns to me and his hands go to his hips. He looks rather flushed.
"Stop that."
"What." I ask in surprise.
"Looking at me like I'm a piece of meat. I won't be able to restrain myself for much longer if you keep that up." I grin and stretch out on the bed. I don't do sexy well but the way his eyes darken and looks at me, I feel like I'm doing something right.
"How do you know that I'm looking at you," I say in mock innocence.
"I feel it," he barely whispers. His eyes are no longer that brilliant blue, but a deep azure that makes me shiver. I cross my legs, wishing I had chosen something else to wear to bed. The wetness between my thighs is starting to get uncomfortable.
"Then why restrain yourself? Come here." He takes my outstretched hand and straddles me on the bed, pressing his lips to mine and accepting the challenge my mouth is offering. As his kisses become more passionate, I feel his hands trap mine over my head and I wriggle against him. I can feel his hardness poke against me and I throw my head back and moan his name. He leans down and rakes his tongue across my neck, sucking gently. His hands release mine and I feel them push my shirt up to my chin. I don't wear a bra to bed and he bites his lip at the sight of my bare breasts, before he leans down and takes one into his mouth. Damn I have never felt so good. The sensation of his tongue on my sensitive nipple is going to drive me into a frenzy. He moves up just a little and sucks at a spot right over my breast. I realize he is sucking harder and harder and I gasp when he leaves my skin, leaning back to stare down at me. I glance down and see a purple-ish bruise forming. His fingers trace over it and I glare up at him. He grins smugly.
"You've claimed me as yours. I've marked you as mine." Without hesitation, I drag him down to me and I kiss and suck at his neck. He tenses a little and I move down his skin, dragging my tongue and planting the occasional kiss here and there. There's a scar below his collarbone that is clearly not with the others. It looks like it was made from a sharp object and I shudder to think of what all they did to him. I gently touch it, then lean forward and suck at the spot in earnest. He lets out a little cry as I let him go and he glances down, his bright eyes finding mine again.
"And now you are marked as mine."
"I would trade every scar for one of your marks," he whispers against my lips. My hands run up and down his chest and I lean up to kiss his throat. He moans underneath my lips and my arms wrap around his neck, bringing him even lower. He tries to shift his weight so that he is not hurting me but I love the feel of his body on mine. I start to imagine the two of us, naked, pressed together like this, nothing separating us from joining together. As my mind races with these thoughts, it starts to acknowledge hands making their way down my body and cupping my center through my pants. I moan and jerk my hips against his hands and he presses harder, before slipping his hand into my pants and pressing against my underwear. My legs fall open and I tangle my fingers in his hair, our tongues and teeth clashing together. He pulls back for a moment and his bright eyes find mine. I smile up at him but my smile fades when I see something flash in his eyes. He gasps and I feel his fists clench on the pillow next to my head.
"Peeta?" I reach up and touch his face and he jerks back. I know he's going into a flashback. I lean up and wrap my arms around him, even though he struggles against me. I feel his heart pounding against his chest and he pants into my shirt.
"No," he whimpers.
"Peeta, stay with me. Not real. Not real. Whatever you are seeing, it's not real." I start to panic as he reaches up and hits himself in the head. I hold his arms and bring him closer, rocking gently as I used to do with Prim. The thought of her brings tears to my eyes and I want to bury my face into Peeta's chest and cry. But I have to be the strong one tonight. I have to fight for the man I love. Snow can't have him. The Capitol can't have him. He's mine.
"You're mine, Peeta. Not theirs. You're here, with me. You're safe, I won't let anything happen to you. Not real, Peeta. Not real." He whimpers against my chest and then is very still. I merely hold him for a few moments until he leans back, his eyes red and swollen.
"Katniss," he whispers. He launches into my arms and I hold him close, whispering soothing words against his hair, telling him how strong he is and how much I need him. He finally disentangles himself from my arms and straightens up.
"I'll be right back," he mutters before rushing off to the bathroom. I watch him go, collapsing on the bed and finally succumbing to my tears.