When I wake up, a cold chill greets me and I bring the covers closer to my face. My eyes open and for a moment, I panic. Sitting straight up, I wonder where the hell I am but my eyes scan the room and I remember. Peeta's house. Peeta's room.

So where is he? I could swear we fell asleep together. He hasn't closed the window so the cold wind enters the room and wraps around me. I shiver and pull the blankets closer, wondering if I should go look for him. I'm about to toss the blankets aside when I hear his heavy footsteps and he enters the room, holding a tray in both hands. He sees I'm awake and he flashes me a smile that makes my heart race.

"Morning," he says cheerfully. He sets the tray down on the bed and leans in to kiss me. I could get used to this. Waking up to this. Am I ready for it? Probably not but do I want it?

Hell yes.

"I thought you may be hungry," he muttered against my lips. I nod but don't move toward the food. I reach up and grasp his hair, pulling him toward me and with a gasp, he falls forward, wrapping his arms around me so he wouldn't fall. I feel the hard prosthetic leg pressing against mine and I shift so he is more comfortable. I kiss him until we are both breathless. He pulls back and runs a hand through his hair.

"What was that for?" Is he going to ask that every time I kiss him? I feel guilty because he has loved me so much longer than I loved him. And his poisoned mind probably still gets suspicious when I get close to him. I guess I can't blame him.

"You weren't here when I woke up," I reply, "and I got scared." His hand caresses my face and he kisses my nose.

"Why?"

"Because…last night…I mean…"

"Katniss, I told you, I will always come back to you. We're together now, nothing can tear us apart." I suddenly find myself crying into my hands and he is looking panic-stricken. I can't even explain what is wrong. All my worries come flooding out, out of nowhere, and I turn into a sobbing mess.

"Every time I thought we would be ok in the past, something happened. And when I found out the Capitol had you…I was angry, Peeta. Angry that it wasn't me. Angry that someone as perfect as you was enduring that. And then we rescued you and I discovered you had been hijacked and…I couldn't move. I sometimes thought it was worse than if you had died. Because your love for me had died. Seeing you as someone completely different, hearing you speak so harshly. You asked me on several occasions to kill you. What if I had, Peeta? What if I had put you out of your misery? I'd be dead right now. There is no way I could live without you." He tries to soothe me, reaching forward and grasping my shoulders but I wrench away, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"No. I remember, Peeta. That day…Boggs and Mitchell and Leeg…you asked me to kill you. You wanted to stay chained so I carried the key to your cuffs in my pocket, right next to my pearl. We came so close to giving up, Peeta, so many different times! I wanted to die, don't you understand that? I didn't ever see things getting better. When I was sent back here, I was sure I would never see you again. And again, I wanted to die. I begged for Sae and Haymitch to let me go and they refused. They told me I had someone to live for, someone who loves me and was looking for me. And seeing you that day…hearing your voice. It was like I was reborn. Like a resurrection. I can't forget the past, Peeta. It still haunts me, will always haunt me. And I don't know what I'll do if I lose you." I let my sobs overtake me and I hide my face in my hands, ashamed. I feel him lower my hands and he cups my chin. I can't look at him. I'm a mess, an utter mess.

"Katniss. Open your eyes." His voice is gentle but stern. "Look at me," he says a bit harder. I finally open my eyes and am lost in his blue orbs.

"Listen to me. I don't expect you to forget the past. That's how we learn. We remember, we grieve, but we never forget. But I hope you can see that there is so much good now, that WE have good in our lives and you don't need to keep revisiting the past. It's why I fight so hard against my flashbacks. There is no reason at all for me to go back to those times. I have the perfect life right now, here, with you. I don't blame you for anything, so stop blaming yourself. I won't lie to you and say nothing can ever happen but I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to always return to you. And I will keep you safe from anything, me included. You know I would die for you in a heartbeat, Katniss. I confessed that in the first Games and I confess it again. I would gladly give my life if it meant your wellbeing." He sighs and seems to be tired of talking so he pulls me into his arms and strokes my back while I cling to him. He allows me to cry, saying nothing, just the occasional 'I love you'. He pulls me away and kisses my forehead, giving me a sad smile.

"Where did this even come from this morning? Here I am, making you cheese buns and you go and get all emotional on me." He winks at me to make sure I know he is teasing and I can't help but smile. He kisses me again, first my forehead, then my eyes, my nose, my cheek, and finally my lips.

"Silly girl, stop worrying so much. I love you, Katniss. Can't you understand that?"

"That is one of the things I understand very well," I reply. He smiles and kisses me softly.

"Here," he pulls the tray closer and picks up a cheese bun, holding it before my face. I eagerly bite into it and he laughs while cheese oozes all over my chin. I suppress a giggle while I catch the dripping cheese from the freshly baked bun. I pop the rest in my mouth and close my eyes, savoring the flavor. Peeta leans forward and darts his tongue across my lips, raking it down my chin, cleaning up the mess I've made. He grins as he motions toward the tray.

"I made you a whole breakfast but you probably would have been happy with just the cheese buns." My stomach is grumbling terribly and he raises a brow at me. I consume the eggs and cheese and berries, then almost all of the cheese buns. He manages to grab two from the basket before I have a chance to finish them all. I lick my fingers, determined to inhale the cheesy flavor.

"That was delicious. Thank you." He grins and grips my hair as he kisses me.

"It's nice to see you have a healthy appetite again. It took us ages to get you to eat properly." I nod and shrug. I don't want to think about that time and he seems to understand. He reaches for a napkin to wipe his hands and I stop him. He looks at me, confused, and I bring his hand up to my mouth. Giving him a shy look, I take his fingers, one by one, past my lips and suck. He bites his bottom lip and his eyes go dark. Moving closer to him, I can feel his hardening arousal underneath me and I know what I am doing to him. I have to say, I love that I can make him feel like this. My tongue swirls around his fingers and he lets out a little moan. I drop his hand and attack his mouth, my tongue clashing against his. I reach down and stroke him through his pants and he jerks his hip upwards, moaning into my mouth. My hand plunges into his pants and past his boxers to grasp him. He breaks the kiss to throw his head back, gasping for breath. I start pumping him and he gasps my name. Shyly, I lean him backwards and tug off his pants and boxers, throwing them aside. I spread his legs and squeeze his inner thighs and he groans as his head hits the pillow. My hand goes back to his thick shaft, loving the feel of the veined underside and the soft skin along the way. I kneel on my knees and push my hair out of my way, leaning forward to give him a long stroke with my tongue. His hips jerk and his head shoots up as he lets out a cry. His eyes meet mine and he gives me a wild look, as if he can't believe this is really happening. I bit my lip uncertainly.

"Is this…ok?"

"Yes but y-you don't have-" I lower my head again and I take his head falling back again as consent. I lick up and down, surprised at the taste of him. It's a bit saltier than I expected, mainly because Peeta's mouth is so sweet. My tongue runs along his length, then over the tip and he gives another groan. He is shaking underneath me and I love the power that I hold. I take him into my mouth and hollow my cheeks out, sucking as hard as I can. I really have no idea what I'm doing but his reactions keep me going.

"Ffffffffuck Katniss," His swearing spurs me on and I move faster, pumping with my hand while swirling my tongue around. I glance up at him from between his legs and see that he is gripping his hair tightly, his eyes are closed, and a look of utter bliss has crossed his face. I can feel him tensing up and he suddenly grabs my hair and pulls me away. Puzzled, I watch him grip himself and stroke hard and fast. Not to be outdone, I push his hand away and stroke him to completion. He releases all over my hand and his stomach and he collapses on the bed, completely spent. His breathing is ragged and heavy and his face is flushed. I grin down at him, loving this side of him. I may not be completely confident in my abilities yet but seeing him like this, feeling him come undone at my hands and mouth is amazing. Panting, he opens his eyes and looks up at me.

"Holy shit," he says weakly. I giggle and curl up beside him, moving his arm aside so I can lay my head on his chest. He doesn't seem to have strength enough to do anything but lift his head.

"That was…I mean…wow." I giggle again, which is SO unlike me. Seriously, when did I become this girl?! Not that I hate it but it's very strange. I used to listen to the girls in the Seam talk about what they would do with their husbands one day. I rolled my eyes, thinking they sounded like fools and I didn't think that would ever be me. Number one, because I said I didn't think I'd get married but number two, I didn't know about the pleasures between a man and woman. Watching Peeta come undone at my hands, at my touch, is exhilarating. He turns his head and his expression is serious.

"You're amazing," is all he says. I blush and lean forward to kiss him. I'm still not used to such compliments and sweet words. They used to bother me but now, I live for his words. As much as I live for his touch. I guess that's because I never thought I would have those things ever again.

He sits up and leans over me, capturing my hands over my head and pressing them into the pillow. At the same time, he knees my legs apart so he can lie between them, pressed against my center. His tongue swirls against mine and he presses his hips against mine. His lips trail down to my neck and he sucks at my throat, planting gentle kisses then surprising me with the scrape of teeth. He removes one of his hands from my wrists to slip under my shirt and his hand meets my breast. He leans in and nips my bottom lip with his teeth, which makes me gasp and grow even wetter.

"Don't move," he says in a low voice, almost a growl. I nod and he moves his hands down to my shirt and before I know it, he is pulling it over my head. I keep my hands over my head where he placed them and grip the pillow tightly. His hands massage my breasts, kneading them gently like he kneads the bread. Oh thank god I fell in love with a baker. I love his hands more than I can say. His long fingers tweak my nipples and he takes one into his mouth, sucking and biting and my hips jerk involuntarily. He looks up at me underneath his long lashes and gives me a grin, more like a smirk, as he makes his way down to my stomach and his tongue dips into my belly button. My stomach trembles beneath his tongue and he continues his way down. His hands are tugging my pants down and he flings them over his shoulder. He gazes down at me, adoringly, and continues to lick a path of fire. His tongue gently traces my panty line and I'm suddenly trembling with anticipation of what's to come. His thumb presses against my center and his tongue licks over the cotton of my underwear. I gasp and sit up and he glances up at him.

"Didn't I tell you not to move," he says sternly, his smirk fading. I swallow and lie back down, never having heard him speak like this before. Except for one time. One time when he left me and I didn't know if I would ever get him back.

Peeta seems to sense what I'm thinking because he leaves my thighs and comes back to my mouth. His kisses are gentle but insistent. His hands trail down my body, his fingertips tracing my contours. He pulls away from my lips and his eyes search mine.

"I want to try something. Trust me?" I hesitate only for a moment before I nod.

"Okay."

"Then you'll allow it?" I smile, remembering his words from so long ago.

"I'll allow it." He kisses me again and trails kisses down my body. His hand cups me through my underwear and a finger slides past the cotton and gently runs up and down my slit. I cry out as he continues to tease me, drenching his finger in my wetness.

"Damn Katniss, you're this wet from sucking my dick?" I blush scarlet but he grins down at me as his fingers tease. His eyes capture mine as he removes his hand from between my thighs and brings it up to his lips, his tongue darting out and swirling around his finger. My jaw drops and he just smiles at me before moving down and peeling my underwear off and spreading me wide.

I know it seems REALLY smutty right now but I promise, it's more than love scenes later on. I did put a warning, heavy on smut though, sooo fair warning ;) lol.