Author's Note: I wanted to take the time to personally thank the two guest reviews I have received so far that have left hate reviews to try to bring me down. Well jokes on those fuckwits, they have only increased my review count making my story seem all that more appealing. In honor of them, here's more of that "crack ship" we all love. Enjoy.
Naruto could not remember waking up in such a good mood before in his life.
The sun shined a little bit brighter, the air was a little bit crisper, the toast he had for breakfast was just the right amount of brown with the butter all melted, and the orange juice seemed extra sweet today.
I wonder what has got me in such a great mood? He thought to himself.
His eyes wandered about his tiny apartment. From the carton of milk on his kitchen table that was about to expire (it was that 17th right?) to the pile of clothes scattered around the floor that weren't quite dirty enough to merit washing and the pile of clothes that definitely needed a wash. Naruto frowned at the thought of his inevitable chores and his eyes reached his tiny window sill garden. While his love for ramen was a well-known fact, only a few of Naruto's closest friends knew that he loved to garden. The act of watering and tending to pot plants was a calming exercise that the 3rd Hokage had tried to teach the boy to turn his mischievous energy into something constructive. He had failed miserably in that regard, but the blond still kept up a garden. It being one of the few past times that he shared with his surrogate grandfather. He tried to keep up a wide variety of plants; lilacs, lilies, daffodils, one of his favorites being the cherry blossom. It being the namesake to his teammate Sakura and- HOLY crap-I'm-dating-Sakura-that-wasn't-a-dream! He frantically realized.
How could he forget something so important? Yet even now it felt too good to be true. As it dawned on him his mood only brightened.
I've got a date with SA-KU-RA! I've got a date with SA-KU-RA! He mentally sang to himself. He opened his eyes to look at the old clock on his wall that read 1:22 PM.
I'M LATE?! DAMN YOU KAKASHI! He mentally accused his teacher of rubbing off on him.
Miles away, Kakashi looked up from his book for a moment before returning to the page he was on.
Leaping from his seat Naruto scooped up his dishes and tossed them in the sink. No time to listen to the glass break he hopped in the shower. No time for the nitty gritty, he was over an hour late and only had time for the essentials.
Crotch, pits, hair and face. He mentally listed. Remembering Pervy Sage's technique on a quick shower.
He quickly dried himself while gargling mouthwash, then picked up the least whiffy shirt he could find and threw it on underneath his usual orange jacket and pants. Slipping on his sandals, he pocketed his keys and wallet and spit out his mouthwash onto the concrete sidewalk.
Like an orange bat out of hell he took off towards his favorite restaurant; Ichiraku Ramen, the pinnacle of fine cuisine. At least that is what Naruto would say to anyone who asked.
The Whiskered Ninja soon arrived at the agreed upon meeting place, only to find Sakura to be nowhere in sight.
OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO! He thought. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! I FINALLY GET A CHANCE TO GO ON A REAL DATE WITH SAKURA-CHAN AND I BLOW IT BEFORE THE DATE CAN EVEN BEGIN!
"Oh hey, Naruto!" Sakura cried out.
The hopeless fool turned around to see the love of his life standing out there in the open, waving at him. She was dressed in a long light green turtle neck with a gust of sakura petals stitched into the side of the design. Wither her lower half she sported a black mini skirt that complemented her top and equally matching sandals more suited for casual fashion rather than their usual ninja work. Naruto noticed none of this as all he could focus on was his girlfriend's dazzling smile. Thinking back on it, it was the same smile he had seen her give Sasuke so many times in their past, but now it was reserved for him and him alone.
"Naruto? Earth to Baka?" Sakura snapped her fingers in front of her boyfriend who seemed to have been lulled into a trance.
"Hmmm…what?" He asked dazed.
"I said I was sorry that I was late. I kinda got held up picking out an outfit and well I guess Kakashi-sensei is rubbing off on me." She joked.
Miles away, Kakashi looked up from the black stone monument which had inscribed upon it the names of the fallen shinobi of the last war, including some of Kakashi's best friends. He figured it was nothing and resumed his mourning/self-reflection.
"Yeah, I think I know what you mean." Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head in his trademarked way.
The two finished exchanging their pleasantries they continued on to Ichiraku's arm in arm. Occasionally they chatted about nonsense but mostly they were content to enjoying each other's company.
"So Naruto…" Sakura began out of the blue. "Is there a reason you are in your usual jacket?"
Oh crap. "I ah…well we have Videl's bell test later so I thought it'd be best if I went in my usual clothes to save time…"
"Oh really?" Sakura asked with a slightly dark tone that made Naruto gulp.
Idiot, you're blowing it! Say these words exactly! The Kyuubi commanded.
Wait, what?
Just do it!
"So that way I could spend the most time with you on our date and not be late for our newest teammate." He robotically spoke off.
"Oh I see, that makes sense." Sakura chirped, a content smile returned to her face as she rested her head back on her boyfriend's shoulder.
Holy crap that was a good save! Thanks Fox.
Don't mention it kid. Just keep your eyes open during mating.
Da fuck does that mean?
Inside of Sakura's mind…
Oh my God, I knew I was too over-dressed! Sakura mentally groaned. Plus it was Ichiraku's, what was she thinking?
You were thinking of dressing up nice for your boyfriend. Her Inner self counseled.
And he's lying, he didn't plan that far ahead. Look, his hair is still damp. He probably just rushed out of his apartment and grabbed the first thing he could find.
You're right, Inner. But we can't call him out on it or we'll appear to doubt him and his good intention. Plus it still might be his actual intention, he does think of others very often.
True…punch him just in case though.
Back in the real world, Sakura slugged Naruto right in his arm that she was holding with her other arm. The boy winced at the sudden pain that his girlfriend had inflicted upon him.
I thought I was in the clear…
You never are when it comes to females.The Fox wisely told him.
"Sakura-chan, what was that for?" He whined.
Crap, we didn't plan this far ahead! What do I say?
Don't worry Me, we got this. Just give me control for a second.
"I like to hear your reaction…" Sakura spoke aloud.
Naruto stared at her with an awkward expression at his girlfriend's curious interest.
No more words were said between the couple for the rest of the trip. That's when Sakura realized that the two of them had become the center focus of a lot of onlookers.
Ninja villages were always massive breeding grounds for gossip, the mixing of civilians and shinobi ensured that. So to see the up and coming apprentice to the 5th Hokage walking hand in hand with the infamous Uzumaki boy stirred up quite a lot of hushed whispers.
Sakura gave Naruto's hand a tighter squeeze, being mindful of her chakra enhanced strength this time around. She was not about to take any crap from any of the remnants of Naruto's hate club. He was a hero to this village and as dedicated a ninja as could be found. She would straight up murder anyone who would dare suggest otherwise.
That's when her hero let go of her hand and fell to his knees.
"Naruto, what's wrong?" Sakura asked frantically, worried that he might have come down with some kind of fast acting illness. The blond began sobbing into the dirt.
"Naruto?" She asked, now more concerned than ever.
"Sakura-chan…it's horrible…" He said in a shaky voice. Sakura had absolutely no idea what he was going on about until he reached out and pointed at the building in front of them.
Sakura recognized their destination, Ichiraku's, which seemed to be covered in scorch marks and had a sign out front.
FIRE DAMAGE
CLOSED FOR REPAIRS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
SORRY FOR ANY INCONVIENIANCE
-Management
"I should have seen this coming." Naruto said. "God wouldn't give me something I love so much without taking something else away from me…"
Sakura could only stare down at her idiot boyfriend with an annoyed expression on her face. Typical of him to be so melodramatic about such things. Still, a part of her was happy that he offhandedly said that he loved her.
"Come on Naruto. We'll find somewhere else to eat." She patted him on the back.
Naruto groaned but stood up and was led away by his embarrassed girlfriend.
"We could go to the BBQ place, it's got stir fry and that's pretty similar to ramen."
Don't you dare whine about how stir fry is nothing like ramen when your vixen is trying to cheer you up! The Fox warned his host.
Ok fine! Jeez Fox, what's up with your new talkative attitude anyway? Why are you being so helpful with me dating Sakura-chan?
Because after 100 years of imprisonment, I've got a vested interest in seeing you score, as you humans might say.
Score?... YOU WANNA MATE- er, I mean, HAVE SEX WITH SAKURA-CHAN!?
Pipe down brat. Our chakra networks are intertwined, so by a happy coincidence, our senses are intertwined as well.
So that means…
Think of it as my compensation for when I inevitably let you use my stamina to rock that vixen's world.
I don't think I'm comfortable with this.
Try being in my shoes and having to spend the last 80 years sharing the experience of my two female hosts.
Wait, you had two other hosts besides me? What were their names?
Why the Hell would I tell you that? It won't help either of us get laid.
Oh come on, now I'm curious.
Forget it brat, we may be stuck together but don't mistake us for friends. I would still very much like to break out of here. Now agree with whatever the vixen is saying.
"Naruto are you even listening to me?" Sakura asked, annoyed.
"Huh, what? Yes of course, I completely agree with what you are saying Sakura-chan." The blond tried to fake a smile but his girlfriend was far too smart for that.
"Naruto you haven't been listening to a word I've said have you?" She stopped walking a stood in front of her boyfriend as he stood on thin ice.
Deny everything and distract her with compliments.
No.
"I'm sorry Sakura-chan, I got pulled into a conversation with the Fox." He admitted. Sakura went wide eyed.
"You mean the Nine Tailed Fox inside you?" She whispered, not wanting to attract unwanted attention.
"The very same."
While she had known for some time that her teammate was the host to the great demon fox, Sakura had never imagined that the Kyuubi could talk to Naruto. But in what way? Was it similar to how she talked to her Inner self?
"W-what did he tell you?"
"Nothing you need to worry about, but he does approve of you and me." Naruto added.
"Oh… well that's…" Sakura was flabbergasted. Nine minutes into the first date and she had already learned more about the Kyuubi than months of research in the Hokage Archives had ever taught her. Every detailed account of the Kyuubi had described it as mass of chakra and hatred. Devoid of human emotion except for rage. Instead it seemed to have personal opinions if it had approved of Sakura dating its host. Did that mean that the Kyuubi liked Sakura? It was a weird thought.
Unknown to either Sakura or Naruto, up on the rooftops crouched a mischievous figure. A young genin with brown hair and a blue scarf flapping in the wind. In his hand was a box of water balloons filled to the brim with paint. His eye fixated on his target with trained precision, mentally counting down for the moment to unleash his cargo. It was a simple plan, but as his boss had always told him regarding pranks, simple was often the best. Although the boss did stress that the best pranks were one's that the victims could also laugh at, this time the young ninja was acting out a vendetta and not simple good natured fun.
This is what you get, big bro. The prankster thought. Until he noticed that his intended target was walking hand in hand with his pink-haired teammate, what's-her-face.
So you're with your girlfriend huh? No matter. Actually this is better, I was gonna get to her down the line for taking you away from me, but this works too.
The unsuspecting couple had entered the tunnel that was located underneath the building that the boy was hiding atop of. The tunnel was the length of a typical shop's width. At their pace, they would arrive on the other side in five seconds. The boy quickly gathered his paint filled balloons and got into position on the other side. He would have to strike approximately two seconds after the targets exited the tunnel. Naruto himself had taught the boy everything he knew about pranks, he would be on guard near exits, corners, choke points. Out in the open would be the best place to catch him off guard.
Finally the two love birds exited the tunnel standing even closer together. This is almost too easy.
Now or never, the young ninja hurled his payload at the oblivious couple, all two dozen water balloons were directed right on target. If the prankster was a novice, he might have shouted at his victims to make them turn their heads so that he could witness their reactions, but knowing Naruto, that would give him all the time he needed to avoid the prank. Hey Naruto, look out!
Back on the ground, the blond in question sensed a threat. Reacting quickly, he shoved his girlfriend to the side to put some distance between her and whatever attack was coming Naruto's way. He whipped around only to feel the sensation of a cool liquid splash against his backside, then another, and soon a barrage of what seemed to be paint balloons exploded into Naruto's chest.
BULL'S EYE! The young ninja shouted in his head with giggling giddiness. He was sitting behind the concrete railing of the building, less he be spotted and give himself away. Oh no, the blond's day of terror was far from over. The prankster opened his eyes to begin phase two of his master plan was he was confronted face to face with a completely paint free Naruto.
"Oh hey Boss, fancy meeting you here-GAAH!" The boy choked out, the Shadow Clone of Naruto quickly grabbed the young ninja by the scruff of his neck and shushinned the two down to the streets where the real Naruto was waiting. Standing there covered in orange paint with an angry look on his face that the boy had never seen.
"Konohamaru, what the hell do you think you are doing?!" The paint soaked ninja ranted. To an outside observer who knew the history of the pair, seeing Naruto give a lecture to Konohamaru had only been imagined in nightmares.
"I was getting back at you, big bro!" Konohamaru said while struggling against his boss's Shadow Clone to no avail. What the heck? Did the Pervy Sage's training include super strength?
"What are you talking about? What did I do to you?"
"YOU IGNORED ME!" The brown haired boy cried, tears threatening to spill down his face.
"Huh?" Naruto said in shock.
"You leave for three years, promising me that when you get back you'd teach me some more awesome jutsus and we'd hang out some more! Maybe go on missions once I got my own team! Well I did, I came back from a mission with them and I hear that you've been back for two weeks! And you didn't tell me! I go out looking for you and you're off on another mission! You finally come back and you're off going on dates or whatever and and…and I missed you, Boss…" Konohamaru broke down.
Words failed Naruto, during his time back at the Leaf he hadn't even thought of Konohamaru, so much had been going on. Yet all the same, he felt completely selfish to let his little partner in crime feel abandoned. How often had Naruto felt that way during his childhood? And here he was with Konohamaru, the boy who was the first to idolize him, and he was making him cry. The kid was the closest thing Naruto had to a little brother. He had to make this right.
"Konohamaru, come here." Naruto motioned to Konohamaru to step forward and for his Shadow Clone to disperse. Both obeyed. Naruto then wrapped his protégé in a bear hug.
"Ack! Get off me, Boss!" Konohamaru scrambled to untangle himself from his mentor's arms.
"What? I thought big brothers were supposed to hug their little brothers or something?"
"Not in public, it's embarrassing!" Konohamaru blushed, hoping that his reputation wasn't tarnished. "Besides, you're covered in paint!"
Naruto smiled, finding an opportunity to tease the boy to get back at him for that prank. "Oh I think you owe me, now come here!"
"No way!" Konohamaru shouted in a mix of horror and laughter. Naruto then proceeded to chase Konohamaru around in circles in the street. Onlookers laughed at the cute display of brotherly affection.
"Come on, Konohamaru, I just wanna congratulate you on your great prank with a big, friendly hu-
Out of nowhere, Naruto was rocketed face first into a women's clothing store by his irate girlfriend's monster strength punch.
Standing over a tripped over Konohamaru in the middle of the street was Sakura covered head to toe in smashed fruit, complete with half a watermelon perched on the top of her head like a fez.
"BAKA! Knock me into a fruit stand will you? You've got a lot of nerve!" The fruit wearing girl huffed. The whole block went silent. Over the years most everyone had heard of the legendary temper of their Hokage. To see her apprentice showing off the same tendencies made it very clear to everyone that this girl was not to be crossed. That poor boy. They all thought in one way or another.
Much to everyone's relief, the boy in question emerged from the bombed out ruins of Lady Shu's Women's Apparel looking relatively in one piece. Except for what he was wearing.
Sakura's punch had somehow knocked the clothing off of Naruto and threw the rest of him into a neon pink maternity dress with green skinny jeans wrapped around his arms and a purple and orange polka dotted bra hanging off of his head like two mouse ears. The boy walked towards his girlfriend, rubbing his bruised cheek without noticing his new wardrobe.
The two teens looked over one another, taking in each other's appearance. The crowd was hushed. No one said a word…
SNORT Two lovebirds burst out laughing. The tension vanished and members of the crowd joined in.
"Oh my god (snickers) I'm so sorry, MADAM, I didn't mean to hit you that hard. Ahahahah!" Sakura said while trying to catch her breath.
"OH HO, a lady am I? Hehe, well (bursts into another fit of laughter) well at least I don't look like a FRUIT! Hahaha!" Naruto said trying to hold back his tears.
The two started to lean on each other, drunk on their own giddiness. Naruto took some melon bits that had gotten stuck on Sakura's shoulder and plopped it in his mouth, earning him a gentle slap from Sakura. Who took a strawberry that was lodged in her cleavage and ate that in front of him.
Konohamaru thought this the best time to escape now among all the delightful confusion. Just silently slip back into the crowd and-"where do you think YOU'RE GOING?" The loving couple shouted at him in sync. Konohamaru knew that he was in for it now.
Naruto and Sakura looked over him like parents would look over their naughty child. Although Sakura looked less motherly and more stern punishment, while Naruto looked less tough father and more you-fucked-now-boy.
"You're not getting away that easy." Naruto lectured. "As punishment for interrupting my first date with Sakura-chan and nearly getting paint on her. You must-
Konohamaru braced himself for whatever horrible punishment lay in store for him.
"-Come join me for training at the gravity room."
"The gravity what now?" Konohamaru asked. Relieve washing over him that he wouldn't be forced to be Naruto's slave for a week or something like that.
"Long story, but some friends I met on my travels have this amazing training room that can increase your strength and speed a hundred times over in a matter of days. And I'd like you to join me on some training."
"You serious Boss?!" Konohamaru whooped, the thought of getting some one on one training with his surrogate brother was a dream come true.
"You betcha, I promised to train you when I got back didn't I? It's gonna have to be in a week though. Me and Sakura-chan have a mission tomorrow that is super important to the Leaf. But I promise you that as soon as I get back we'll do some one on one training. You can head over to the gravity room now to build up your endurance so that we can be on more level ground when I return. What do you say?"
"I SAY YES!" The boy ran up and hugged his big brother who returned the hug with a pat on the head.
After explaining where the gravity room was located, Konohamaru left in a hurry to catch up to his idol. Naruto waved goodbye to his little brother with a smile on his face stretching from ear to ear.
"That was an amazing thing you did for Konohamaru, Naruto. You're an amazing older brother."
"Oh I don't know about that. I just did what I thought was fair… Besides, what kind of sensei would I be if I just blew off my student when he asks for training?"
Kakashi gave a quick sneeze from the inside of the Hokage Tower broom closet.
"Bless you." Shizune said.
"Thanks." The Copy Cat ninja replied.
Back with the pairing we care about...
The blond gave a content sigh, grateful that he could be the brother to Konohamaru that Naruto never had.
"So are we gonna prank that little twerp back or what?" Sakura gave a devilish smirk looking off in the direction that Konohamaru left in.
Naruto looked at his girlfriend with a look of awe. "God do I love you."
Sakura giggled before pulling her boyfriend into a paint and dried fruit stained kiss.
"Shower at my place?" He suggested.
"God do I love you." She repeated back to him.
The two leapt off towards the Uzumaki residence while leaving their bra and their melon fez behind.
Author's Note: Did that ending feel unsatisfying? Well over at my co-author cmartinHFD's story Legacy of Heroes, there is more to the date where things get hot and heavy. Yes I am holding content hostage to make you read a crossover fic. Deal with it.
Although as of 10/22 1:12 PM EST he has not posted the most recent chapter where this scene is featured. So you might have to wait until after 6 or 7 to read it. He is currently driving somewhere.