Chapter 5 - GRANNY DUTY

Summary: Oliver is 57, and Felicity is 52. They attempt Granny Duty to give their grown-up kids and their spouses a couples' night out. Imagine what happens.

A/N: I'm not too happy about how this turned out because I was kind of in a hurry to post it in time for Grandparents' Day (only, it's one day late). It hasn't been proofed, but I still hope that those of you who follow this series will still like it. Here goes...

Oliver's Journal

January 2, 2039

I guess it comes with age – waking up at 5 a.m. every single day even if I've retired late the night before. I don't even remember the last time when Felicity or I set an alarm to get up in the morning. It must have been right about the time when all the kids were still of school age. I would have wanted to sleep in since today is Sunday, and after a really long night, but I'm wide awake. It's been a while since the last time I journaled, so I thought I'd jot down a few things before I go on my morning walk, which used to be a morning run, before my left knee started giving me problems close to a year ago. Another sign of aging. The tests came out negative for what the doctor feared was a meniscus tear, so after the steroid injection to my knee a few months ago, I was cleared to resume physical exercise, only, now I walk instead of jog. It can sometimes be so frustrating – how my mind tells me stuff I'd like to do, but my body keeps protesting that it isn't like the well-oiled machine that it used to be.

Hey… Wait a second… I'm rambling! That's what I get for marrying the fantastic woman that is Felicity Smoak Queen. She's already downstairs in the kitchen, giving instructions to the new housekeeper that replaced Lucia just before Christmas. Lucia retired – finally – after serving the Queen family faithfully for more than four decades. I miss her already, especially her cooking. And here I am babbling away on this tablet again. Too much of Felicity has rubbed off on me.

Where was I? Right, I wanted to journal about my family and how we've just spent the holidays.

The past couple of weeks have been among the best that the Queen family has had so far. My daughter Liv, her husband Hans, and their 2-year-old twins, Kristof and Kristen, arrived from Finland three days before Christmas. The University of Helsinki is sending Hans to present a paper at a conference sponsored by the League of Linguists in Starling City on the first week of January. Hans took the opportunity and filed for an extended leave so that they can spend more time with us.

This is the first time they've been able to visit the U.S. since they had the twins. They used to come over once a year during summer break, but when Liv finally got pregnant again after the miscarriage in 2033, we knew they wouldn't be able to visit again sometime soon. Felicity and I flew to Helsinki when Liv gave birth, but I had to come back after a week to attend to QC Board matters. Felicity stayed for almost a month to help Liv with the babies. My wife is an expert at child care, having given birth to our own twins all those years ago. She enjoyed and cherished her time with Kristoff and Kristen – no matter how short – and was in tears at the airport when she made the call to tell me that she was ready to board the Queen jet even if she didn't want to leave our daughter and her young family yet.

Walter and Mom flew in from London two days before Christmas. They surprised us, actually. When Felicity came to the door, there they were with their warm smiles and their huge luggage filled with presents for everyone, including the latest great-grandkid, Ellie Diggle, Emily and Andy's daughter who just turned one about two weeks ago. My mother said that when they learned from Liv that she and Hans and the twins are spending the holidays in Starling City, they had decided they didn't want to miss being with family for Christmas.

Because of that, Felicity thought of asking her parents if they'd like to come over to celebrate Christmas too. Donna and Edward Smoak readily agreed, excited to see their grand-kids and great-grand-kids, and of course, their daughter and son-in-law (more than they'd care to admit). I arranged for the company jet to fly them over from Vegas just in time for Christmas Eve.

Christmas Day was just as lovely (and rowdy) as Christmas Eve. The Queen Mansion was alive with the laughter and screams of children, and warmed by the hugs and conversations of grown-ups that now include our children. Can't believe how time flies by! Just a couple of decades ago, our kids – Connor, Stephen, Emily, Liv, TJ, and then later Carrie – were the ones eagerly unwrapping presents from under the tree. Now, it's our grandkids' turn.

Connor is six, and Colton is five. They're our oldest grandkids, Stephen and Katie's sons. Those boys are sure growing up fast! They asked for DC hero action figures, so of course, Felicity and I went all out and bought them all of the action figures available in the store. It was a joy watching their wide-eyed wonder as they pulled out Batman, Superman, and the rest of the Justice League heroes from the boxes. The Green Arrow and the Flash instantly became their favorites. Our biggest mistake was not buying them one of each, which lately has become a source of sibling rivalry and domestic stress, Stephen says. The other mistake was buying a Wonder Woman action figure, which of course neither of them wanted.

It's a good thing I now have a granddaughter. Two, actually. But since Kristen is older than Ellie, she's getting Wonder Woman.

The Koskinen twins are just adorable as I remember our Liv and TJ had been. I know that Kristof and Kristen are in the "terrible two" stage, and sometimes they behave typically. But I just can't get enough of them! Kristof had asked for a toy car, but I bought him a rechargeable motorized car that he could ride around the garage and the park in (of course, under adult supervision). Kristen had asked for a doll, but I bought her the best and most fashionable one I could find, plus a doll house that she could fit into to go with it. Felicity arranged for the toys to be delivered door-to-door to their house in Finland by the time they get back, since the items are too big and bulky to be brought on a commercial flight. I think that doesn't count as favoritism, considering I hardly get to see them. It's a good thing they don't live here in Starling, or I'm afraid I might spoil them rotten.

Felicity, though, seems to have a stronger bond with them. Maybe it's because she got the chance to take care of them when they were newborns. She's a wonderful mummo, as the Finnish call their grandmas, and she loves hearing both toddlers call her mummi, which is the equivalent of granny. Felicity finds it endearing and flattering (even if she looks so much younger and more attractive than most grandmothers, I must say). When she came back from Helsinki, she taught Connor and Colton to call her just that. Now, she's teaching little Ellie to say the word, and because our youngest grandchild is just as verbally and linguistically gifted as her mother Emily and her Aunt Liv, Ellie has had no trouble saying mummi so far, to my wife's delight.

Ellie Diggle is just as charming as my Carrie has always been. Outwardly, she's a combination of her parents' features. She has Emily's bright eyes, button nose, facial shape, and soft, wavy hair texture, but her eye color, hair color, and complexion are all Andy's. So far, however, her personality is a lot like her Aunt Carrie's. Emily and Andy better prepare themselves for when little Ellie grows up and becomes old enough to date. That's what Felicity kept telling me when our youngest daughter was growing up. I think we still have to wait until Ellie's a bit older to tell whose side of the family she got her brain from. No offense to Andy and my good friend John, but I sure hope Ellie gets her Mummi Felicity's and her Mommy Emily's smarts. She isn't old enough to ask for something specific for Christmas, so we got her baby clothes to last her the entire winter and spring seasons.

We don't have grandkids from TJ yet. He and Jen have been married for close to two years now, and they've been trying, but so far, none yet. I told my son to enjoy it being just the two of them, because when the little ones start coming, it's going to be a real challenge.

Well, so much for that. I just love talking about my grandkids, you know? I just hope and pray they turn out as well as our kids did. Felicity and I are mighty proud. The little ones are off to a bit of a rough start, but I'm sure they'll get there sure enough.

I love our grand-kids, but I'm just relieved that we don't have to live with them 24/7. Felicity and I get to enjoy them for a few hours whenever they come over, but then we get to give them back to their parents. They can get to be quite a handful, those little rascals. Just like last night. Last night was… nothing that Pappa Oliver couldn't handle.

Our kids and their spouses wanted to go on a rare couples' date night, you know, take a break from parenting for a night and catch up on each other's lives. Even TJ and Jen were coming. Carrie, too, was tagging along with Sean, her boyfriend for almost a year now. Felicity and I thought it was a great idea, so we volunteered to do granny duty. I've had to break up a fight or two, clean up some mess, and play pretend to make them happy. But all in all, we had fun. It turns out that looking after five grand-kids was manageable. Everything was under control.

Felicity's Diary

January 2, 2039

"Remind me never to volunteer for something like that again!"

That's what Oliver had said last night as soon as he shut our bedroom door behind him. I wanted to laugh so hard, just like I did when I stumbled upon him on the floor on all fours pretending to be a unicorn while Kristen giggled with glee and Kristof saddled up on his back. Our kids would have paid big money to see their dad make a fool of himself for the love of his grand-kids. I reined in my emotions and kept myself from laughing out loud, because I know my husband had had enough stress to deal with for the night and might have gone ballistic if but one chuckle escaped me.

But really, I did find his best efforts at granny duty quite admirable and endearing. Despite his bad knee, he obliged our grand-kids. The CEO of Queen Consolidated playing with little children that had him wrapped around their fingers. Hmm… Tommy, John, Roy, and Quentin would have a heyday if they had seen that – and everything else that went down last night.

Like dinner, for instance. That had gone pretty well. Until baby Ellie started crying and asking for her mom.

Oliver picked her up from the high chair to comfort her, and that's when she decided to empty her stomach on his shirt. Something like that hasn't happened since our Carrie our youngest was little, and that was about 20 years ago. Understandably, Oliver was caught by surprise. My heart skipped a beat when he nearly dropped our granddaughter in an attempt to avoid more of what was coming out of her mouth. Of course, I reacted quickly and picked up the nearest kitchen towel to catch the rest of it, and then some paper towel to wipe Ellie's face clean. I took Ellie from Oliver and told him that I would take care of her upstairs while he cleaned up the puddle of puke on the floor. I promised that as soon as I finished tidying up Ellie and changing her clothes, I would come right back to be with the kids so that he could clean himself up.

It took me longer than expected to come back down. Ellie just wouldn't stop crying. She kept putting her finger into her mouth while screaming for her mom. I was so tempted to call Emily, but I didn't want to worry her or Andy and ruin their night out. I got her bathing stuff and a fresh change of clothes and diaper ready, with her on my hip. But as I started to remove her soiled onesie, I noticed that she was quite warm to the touch. I thought about taking her temp, and when I did, she was indeed running a low-grade fever. I figured, Ellie must be teething. That must be why she didn't really feel like eating, why she kept chewing on her finger, and why she was having a slight fever. I gave her something for the fever and kept my fingers crossed that she wouldn't vomit. Good thing she didn't.

I bathed her very quickly in warm water, and then immediately put on her diaper and pajamas. All the while she was still crying. As soon as she was clean, dry, and warm, I began to sway and hum to comfort her. Soon, the crying turned into soft sobs and sniffles, and after a few more minutes, Ellie dozed off. I put her down in her crib and covered her legs with the blanket.

As I turned on the baby monitor, I heard yelling coming from downstairs. Hurriedly, I headed straight to the dining room. There I found Oliver trying his best to break up a fist fight between Connor and Colton, while Kristen and Kristof cheered for the cousin each of them was rooting for.

Just as I moved to help Oliver with conflict resolution, Kristen suddenly stood up on her high chair and it started to tip over. For a split second, I panicked. But I guess instinct took over, and I just found myself lunging to catch my granddaughter, just before the high chair crashed and she hit the floor. Good heavens! I thought it was my heart that crashed instead! My big toe hurt (and for the record, it still does) because part of the chair had fallen on it. But that's okay. Kristen was safe in my arms.

By the time I had gathered my wits about me and turned to see how my husband was doing refereeing the fist fight, the Green Arrow action figure that Connor and Colton were fighting over flew across the dining table and straight at Kristof's head, hitting him near his left eye. Kristof screamed at the top of his lungs and began to cry.

"Now look what you've done!" Oliver yelled at the boys, who, by then, had already let go of each other. "You ought to be ashamed of yourselves for fighting over a stupid toy!"

"The Green Arrow isn't stupid!" Connor yelled back.

"And it's not nice to say stupid, Grandpa!" Colton added.

Oliver didn't know what else to say. He couldn't believe that the table had turned just like that. He was suddenly the one being scolded by the boys.

I, on the other hand, didn't know what to do with the twins. When Kristen saw that her brother was already upset about the toy hitting his head, she started crying too. I picked him up from his high chair, and he clung to me for dear life, pointing to the booboo near his eye. As I carried him and his sister, on my left and right hips, they began to speak in rapid Finnish, which, to me, sounded like plain gibberish. I didn't know what they wanted because I couldn't understand what they were saying as they cried their hearts out. And as if things couldn't get any worse, I heard Ellie's cries over the baby monitor loud and clear.

At that time, I knew the situation was serious enough to warrant an intrusive phone call from a grandparent. I wondered where my phone was, and for the life of me, I couldn't remember where I last saw it or put it. Which has never happened to me before.

I looked over to where Oliver stood between Connor and Colton, and when our gazes locked, we both knew we were in trouble and needed help. It has been a long time since we've had to break up a fight that involved our own kids. Our strategies are a bit rusty.

"Go. Take the twins with you," Oliver told me. "I'll handle these two."

I put Kristof and Kristen down and started for the stairs with both of them in tow. When we got to the nursery, Ellie was standing, holding on to the wooden railing of the crib as she cried. I swiftly put the twins into the giant playpen that Oliver and I bought the day the Koskinens arrived, and then I picked up Ellie.

After a few minutes, Oliver and Stephen's boys were at the door.

"Take Ellie to our room. It's quiet there," Oliver told me. "We'll be fine here." I nodded in agreement.

It took me about twenty minutes or so to pacify Ellie, and then I brought her back to the nursery when she fell back to sleep. When we got there, Oliver and the kids were no longer there. I tucked Ellie into her crib and went looking for them.

I found them in the playroom. The sight that greeted me made all of the angst and stress from the last hour or so fade away. Like I said, Oliver was on the floor on all fours, pretending to be a unicorn to the whimsical delight of our grand-kids. In the beginning, it was just Kristof riding on his back, but soon Kristen climbed on his back too. Connor got on the trolley and dared the unicorn to race with him. Colton slapped his grandpa's butt and shouted, "Go, unicorn, go!"

I couldn't help it. I laughed! I haven't had a good laugh in quite some time. At that moment, as I leaned against the door frame of the playroom watching my husband and our grand-kids play, I thought about how blessed we are to have such simple joys in life.

I totally forgot all about making that SOS call to our kids, until they came back close to midnight. All five kids were snugly tucked in their beds, already asleep. They told us that they had a wonderful night out, and they thanked us with big hugs and kisses on the cheek for babysitting for them.

All of our kids and their spouses ended up spending the night here at the mansion. We have plenty of room after all. Stephen and Katie didn't want to wake their kids just to bring them home. TJ and Jen didn't bother going home either. Even Carrie's boyfriend Sean stayed over in one of the guest rooms.

They didn't need to hear about how granny duty went. Oliver and I agreed that we will never mention any of it to them. We didn't want them never to ask us to babysit for them again. We didn't want them to think that it was a burden. Because even if the initial reaction was one of surrender, we both agreed on the same thing before we went to bed. Sure, it was a challenge, but we survived it. And no matter how hard, Oliver and I would do it again. And again. As long as we're strong enough to do so.

Granny duty is a both a privilege and a pleasure.

A/N: So how did you like Olicity as grandparents?