Chapter 9: The Reckoning

Most of the occupants were missing on the bus ride home. Almost all of the Kitsunes had taken their leave at the Kunoichi training ground and many of the mercenaries had chosen to either accept Lady Hoshi's offer of bed and breakfast (including Mausu, Daran, and Yul) or take their leave at the training ground as well. Ciren and Ojima were talking quietly seated away from everyone else. Hideo was out cold – the big man apparently did not snore. Wales, Pauls, and the remaining mercenaries were also sleeping (but not as quietly).

Tofu and his brothers sat near the back of the bus with Olaf. "Thank you three for coming along," he said quietly. "That went extremely well."

"Akio never really got a chance to act up," Ranma shrugged. "He never got any traction to do anything."

"That's not quite true," Olaf disagreed. "He was the reason the maitre d' conveniently lost my reservation, and that the Hostess were not told about our party. He also planned to get you three drunk and out of the way, but Pauls, Othan, and Banner already figured that out and took steps to block him. Daran and Hideo warned you about the strip club, so he couldn't pull anything there. Overall, you three confused him long enough for him to realize what he was really doing and he stopped himself. Then he decided to grow up."

"How are you and Akio friends?" Ryoga asked Tofu.

"It's a long story, Ryoga. Let's just say that several of us saw signs of who the real Akio was and worked to bring it out. It finally happened," the Doc answered. Then he laughed: "Ayumu nearly passed out when he saw that his snobbish brother had formed a friendship with a Kunoichi Master."

"Ayumu didn't look that unhappy though," Olaf said.

"No, he wasn't," Tofu agreed. "Ayumu has always adored his elder brother, but he knew Akio was flawed. Ayumu was often the one who softened many of Akio antics in the past. I think things will be even better now. Also, Akio's prejudices held him back in Kitsune society – I think that's about to change as well."

"All's well that ends well," Olaf concluded. "It's a good ending for a story."

Tofu nodded and said: "Speaking of which..." He handed two alcohol wipes to Ranma and Ryoga. "Get the lipstick off your foreheads. When you tell the story, it will go down better without evidence."

"What makes you think I'm going to tell Akane about any of this?" Ranma asked.

Tofu gave him a very direct look: "You'll last five minutes under questioning – tops. Save yourself the trouble and don't stall or be evasive – I already know you can't lie to her. I plan to tell Kasumi what happened and the sisters share all info. Just don't go there." Ranma sighed. Tofu looked at Ryoga. "Same goes for you." Another sigh occurred.

Mousse just grinned. "One of the few advantages of being unattached," he said smugly.

Tofu raised an eyebrow at him. "And what makes you think you're immune in all of this?" he asked. The Doc nodded at Ranma and Ryoga. "They'll just have to cop to the truth and receive a few half-hearted dope-slaps. You're a dead man."

"Huh?"

"You vanished into a Kunoichi's bedroom for an hour," Tofu noted.

"But nothing really happened!" Mousse protested. "Well, not *that* anyway," he corrected.

"Yeah, but you impressed her," Ranma grinned. "And everyone is going to know about."

"Oh come on, guys! Show a little mercy! There's no reason for Akane or the others to know about this," Mousse pleaded.

"Oh, we are not going to say a word," Ryoga said. "None of us have to."

"What?" Mousse said with confusion.

"You told Akaya about getting that waitress's phone number, didn't you?" Tofu asked.

Mousse stopped for a second. "Well, yeah. But I wasn't bragging about it at the time…" he answered slowly.

"Like I said, you impressed Akaya as well, and she gave you her phone number too," Ranma said with a grin.

Mousse looked even more confused until Ryoga said: "She wrote it backwards on your forehead with permanent marker. Ranma checked the number. It's the main phone number to the training ground."

"OH CRAP!" Mousse bolted to the bathroom at the back of the bus. Olaf and the three remaining brothers were rolling in their seats with laughter.

"You four are bastards!" Ciren called to them. You should have told him about that earlier!"

"I noticed you didn't tell him either!" Ranma shouted back.

"All right, so it was a little too perfect to spoil," Ciren laughed.

"Someone is wearing a bandana for a couple of weeks," Tofu laughed. "At least she didn't use a tattoo."

"I love the little hearts she drew too," Ryoga said holding his stomach with laughter. "You did copy the number for him, didn't you Ranma? That may not occur to him as he's trying to scrub it off." Ranma just smirked and nodded.

"How long do you think it will take Nabiki to figure out what it is?" Olaf chortled.

"Fifteen minutes worst case," Tofu said between laughs. "Then she'll make an announcement and the girls will be lining up at the clinic and the restaurant. Sayuri will be first in line dressed to the 'nines' and showing as much cleavage as possible."

"Yeah, well, hopefully he'll remember to have a little fun with all this," Ranma said wiping tears from his eyes. "He deserves a little break."

Tofu settled down and said with a half-smile: "We need to remind him, guys. Don't forget." They all nodded still laughing quietly.

Tofu, Ranma, and Mousse were the last stop – they had already dropped Ryoga at the dojo proper and a sleepy Akari took possession. Mousse had regained his composure enough to see the humor in his situation and was in a good mood. Dawn was just starting to break as they walked up the path to the clinic. They found Tomo sitting on the doorstep. "Can I have Sanctuary, please?" he pleaded.

"I don't know," Mousse said smiling. "You never clued us in about being a double-agent."

"But I was a double-agent with the good guys on both sides," Tomo defended.

"And I still owe you for the Scorpion sauce," Ranma said. Somehow, the young man just didn't look that upset.

"Yeah, but Shiran is hunting for me. He's determined to make me eat as much hot sauce as he did. I don't have an iron stomach like you, Ranma! I'm too young to die!" Tomo whined.

Tofu raised his eyebrows at Ranma and Mousse who grinned and nodded. "All right, but best behavior! Understand?" the Doc said.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Tomo said gratefully.

Tofu unlocked the door and the four went into the residence attached to the clinic. First thing they saw was Akane asleep on the couch in the living room. She was still wearing the blouse and long skirt she had worn to the Tea. "Oh dear," Tofu said. "I think the Ladies Party got out of control. It looks like young Miss Tendo took refuge here. I think I'll hop in the shower and head up there."

"I'm hitting the sack," Mousse yawned. "I can squeeze in a few hours before I have to go to the restaurant."

"Tomo, you can grab my bed," Ranma said. "I think I'll be busy here."

"Thanks, Ranma," the little Kitsune said, heading up the stairs with the other two.

Ranma used the restroom, washed and checked his face, and brushed his teeth. Then he went to sit on the edge of the couch and watch his fiancée. "Sorry, ladies," he thought. "No contest." He bent down slowly and gave her a gentle kiss.

Akane woke up and responded to the kiss – she had become accustom to Ranma kissing her when she was asleep and stopped slugging him after the first few attempts (fortunately, Ranma is a little bit of a masochist). Then she pulled him closer and sniffed his shirt. "Hmmm…I smell smoke, a little beer, a bit of sweat, but can't really smell any perfume," she said. "The dust has me a little confused though."

Ranma laughed. "Really?" he said.

She held his head in her hands and brought it up to the light. "I don't see any lipstick either on the lips – just my gloss – or on the cheeks." She added.

"The kisses were to the forehead and I washed them off," he said with exasperation. "I was a good little boy and received two motherly kisses – that's it!"

Akane studied his forehead. "That seems about right," she grudgingly agreed. Then she gave him his favorite smile and said in a cute little girl voice: "So are you going to tell me a story?" Her voice returned to normal and she said: "Or can we cut to the chase and just start with the truth?" Her face still held his favorite smile though. He mimed choking her and then laughed. She sat up while keeping her feet on the couch and was still smiling.

Ranma sat a little more firmly on the couch and started the tale. He described all the men and Kitsunes. He had her in stitches describing Ranko's antics at the Hostess Club (although Akane resolved silently to check Ranma for damage later – sometimes he missed things). She listened attentively to the rules for drinking and what Ranma thought of his first drink.

"How many beers did you drink over the course of the night?" she asked curiously.

"About two and a half spread appropriately," he admitted, surprised by her even tone. "I ordered a few more that I never touched. I never had enough to even get buzzed. Although I *really* wanted to at the strip club though."

"You actually went to one?" she asked looking surprised.

"Hold on. We will get there. You'll see I behaved. I promise," he reassured her.

He described the duel with Shiran in loving detail. "I have got to find some Scorpion peppers," Akane exclaimed.

"Ask Tomo," Ranma drawled. "He was the one that soaked the peppers in Scorpion sauce. I think even you would have cried 'Uncle'. As it is, Shiran has promised to make Tomo drink a bottle of sauce and the little jackass is hiding here in mortal terror. Shiran does want to try your volcano curry though, he will probably enjoy it from what I saw."

"Still, I'll make sure he signs a waiver," Akane laughed.

Ranma moved on to the strip club then, starting with Daran's description and his warning to sit in the back as far from the stage as possible. "Are you serious?" she asked incredulously.

"Mousse, Ryoga, and I were sinking in our seats during the first routine, and it didn't get any better. To make it worse, our waitress – who was dressed fairly decently by the way – pegged us as underage and teased us constantly. Actually that turned out to be a godsend – when she was teasing us we weren't paying attention to the stage. Eventually, I ended up meditating in my happy place. It was way too much, but at least it was up on the stage. Then Hideo came by and warned us what was next – the lap dances."

Akane's eyes went flat. "Ranma," Akane growled. "Is that what it sounds like?"

"I. Did. Not. Get. One." Ranma said enunciating clearly. "I was not even close to one. Had any of those jokers bought me a lap dance, I would have fled."

Akane stared into Ranma's eyes for a moment. Then her eyes softened and a small smile shaped her lips. She said softly (almost apologetically): "All right, I believe you. So, if you didn't flee, how did you escape?"

"Damn, we have come a long way – haven't we?" he thought to himself as his own smile escaped. "Hideo found us a decoy," he started out loud and then told how Takara had covered for them.

Akane's face became incredulous again. "So the waitress who had been teasing you, saved your butts?"

"As humiliating as that sounds, 'Yes'," Ranma agreed.

"And then she hit on Mousse? And this is after the hostess at the first place kissed him?" Akane asked with her eyes growing wider.

"All true," Ranma replied.

"Man, dear brother Mousse had a good day despite getting dropped on his head," Akane said.

Ranma smirked. "Oh, it gets better. But we're not done with the strip club yet." He went on to tell her about the last act and the aftermath.

Akane's mouth popped open. "You have got to be lying to me, Ranma Ono! Ciren and Ojima?" she said with a strangled voice.

He smirked at her again. "If I'm lying, it's a damn stupid lie. They have a date tonight. Ciren's taking him to the Complex," he said while trying not to burst into laughter at her expression. "And I notice that you didn't flinch at her being a Siren – it's the inspector that's put a knot in your Nuido!" he laughed.

"Damn straight!" she said.

"We still haven't even covered the weirdest parts yet," he added.

"Things blew up at the Kunoichi place, didn't they?" she asked

"Oh yeah," he said. He took a deep breath and launched into the grand finale. When he was done, Akane sat there completely flabbergasted.

"That really happened?" she asked in a small voice.

He held her hands tight and said seriously: "Akane, I swear: the only time I touched a female this evening was for a Martial Arts lesson, and she only gave me a kiss on the forehead in thanks."

Akane gave Ranma a double-take and then sprang forward fast to hold him tight. "Idiot!" she exclaimed. "I know I sometimes give you a hard time, but I do really trust you and I really do love you. It's just everything else seems so out there: the Game, Jakaro, Olaf, Akio, Tomo, Mousse…Oh My! Mousse had some freaking night!"

Ranma laughed and held her tight in return. "Didn't he though? It's about time the dice came up in his favor."

"Was he able to make a dent in the ink?" she asked settling back a little.

"Not using the soap and paper towels on the bus. Big brother figures it will take a week or two for it to wear off. She got him good," Ranma chuckled. "I don't think he's really that upset about it though."

"Hmph. Just like a guy," she said in mock indignation. "A girl shows him a little skin and his head gets all turned around."

"Oh really?" he said with one eyebrow raised.

"You certainly wouldn't find a girl swayed by something like that Kunoichi technique," she said, again using false tones.

"Well, you'd better hope that's true," Ranma smirked.

"What?" she said, her mouth hanging open a little.

"Noa may be a fan, but she's not a stalker. My name is not the only one on her wish list – there are several," he said, the smirk growing a little more. Akane ducked her head a little and the mouth opened a little wider, but she made no other sound, so Ranma continued: "When it comes right down to it, she's into athletes, and she likes *girls* and guys."

"Oh no," Akane said. "No, no, no, no, no, no. You take that back," she said in a soft incredulous voice.

"That would be lying, Akane. And I can't lie to you," the smirk looked like it was going to split his face in half. "We both know that." He bopped her on the nose with his finger. "Your name is right next to mine on her list."

"You're a liar, Ranma Ono," she whispered with the corners of her mouth turning up in a smile.

Ranma knew exactly where he stood. The smirk faded into his own smile as he said: "You better work out what techniques you're going to teach Noa to protect your virtue." His eyebrows rose suggestively as he said it.

Akane grabbed a pillow off the couch and hit Ranma in the head with it. "Liar!" she half-shouted while continuing to hit him with the pillow. Ranma didn't bother with a pillow. He immediately began to tickle Akane. His fiancée giggled and shrieked as she continued to hit him. Eventually, he managed to pull her flat on the couch and lay on top of her. He took the pillow away from her and gave her a deep kiss. She responded in kind.

Things were going very well until his hand went under her shirt and found the bruises. Although she never reacted, he knew immediately they were there through his finger tips. Ranma quickly rolled onto his side, and carefully lifted her shirt. "Akane," he said his voice full of concern. "What happened?"

"Oh damn, I forgot all about them. I should have healed them, but they really don't bother me, so I forgot," she said a little flustered.

Ranma immediately saw what she meant. These were not serious bruises at all – if he was not so tied into her, he never would have picked up on these. As he watched, they faded as Akane concentrated and healed them. "I'm sorry, Ranma. Honestly, they are nothing. I got them from Nabiki and Shizuka," she told him.

"Nabiki?" he quizzed.

"You elbow someone thirty or forty times it will eventually leave a mark," she admitted sheepishly.

"Was it that bad?" he asked.

Akane rolled her eyes and sat up a little. Ranma arranged himself so she could be comfortable. "Worse," she said. The she laughed and added: "And somehow it made a right turn and went for out-and-out insane. Are you sure you want to know?"

"Probably," he replied. "I'm curious why you ended up on the couch here."

"I warn you," she said with a laughing smile. "It will be a bit like me finding out I'm on Noa's list."

"You lived, I'll live. Is everyone O.K.?" he asked wanting the bad news out of the way first.

"Yes, it's nothing like that," she answered. "Everyone's fine physically – and emotionally. Mentally, I'm not so sure."

"Go for it anyway," he prompted.

She started: "Well, the formal Tea Ceremony was as boring as I feared. Four hours…"

"Four hours!" he interjected.

Akane nodded and continued: "Four hours of complete and total ritual. I never knew it was possible to drag it out that long."

"When did you have dinner?" he asked.

"There was a Kaiseki meal included in the Tea Ceremony," she replied. "That and the fact there were twelve of us helped drag it out."

"Who was there?" Ranma asked.

"Kasumi, your Mom, Mother Ono, Nabiki, me, Akari, Shizuka, Ms. Hinako with her fishbowl, Chie, and three of Kasumi's friends from high school – Tamiko, Yua, and Eiko, plus the servers," she told him. She then proceeded to run through the ordeal for the next ten minutes. Ranma was amused by the number of times she rolled her eyes. Akane had Nabiki on one side and Shizuka on another. Akari could excuse herself here and there, but for Akane, there was no hope of escape. Her two captors on either side made sure she stayed awake. "I think they felt like if they had to suffer, so did I," Akane concluded.

She looked that Ranma for a few moments, then grabbed his shoulders and shook him mockingly while yelling: "This was your Mother's idea!" She released him and collapsed back on the couch.

Ranma smirked at her: "Your sister loved the idea though." Akane just groaned. "All right, it was boring as hell, but I don't see how it was insane."

"You weren't there," she said darkly. "You had to be nuts to sit through all of it. But the really insane part happened after we got back to the house. Mother Ono had made a lovely lemon cake and everyone came back to the house for coffee – we were done with tea, even Kasumi. About twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang so I answered it. There was a policeman at the door, but his badge didn't say Nerima."

Ranma grinned. "Dunn, da, dun, dun, dunnnnn," he sang the ominous notes.

A/N: Next up - The last chapter: "Akane's Tale". There will also be two epilogues (one long, one short), so watch for those.