I feel a sudden chill and notice the blankets have been ripped off. I hear whimpering and turn to my side. The space on the bed is empty and I immediately sober

"Peeta?" I lean over the edge of the bed and see him, wrapped in the blankets, rocking back and forth, whimpering and crying. I'm down there with him so fast that I slam my knee against the hard floor. I pull him into my arms and his whimpers increase. He starts to shake and he tries to fight against my hold on him.

"No…no!"

"Peeta," I say soothingly. "It's not real. You're here, in our home. With me." I sigh as I pull him closer and wince when I get knocked in the chin by his flailing elbow.

As we're getting closer to the opening of the Bakery, his flashbacks have increased. I'm glad it's not me waking him up every night but he looks terrible in the mornings, with black circles under his eyes and his limp more prominent than ever. He tries to put on a smile and a brave face but I know how he is faring and it is not good. I asked Dr. Aurelius in our last session what I could do to help him.

"Just be there for him, Katniss. He needs your touch and your love. Just be there when he needs you."

"I always am, Doctor. But isn't there something else? Some kind of medicine that can help with his nightmares?"

"His flashbacks will never go away, Katniss. Snow permanently tainted him. You have to understand that."

Angrily, I had slammed the phone down and stomped my way down the stairs. Peeta had looked up at me in alarm and I didn't answer him when he questioned me. I had ignored his pleas for me to come back and I ran to my safe haven in the woods. When I had returned, late at night, I found him in a chair on the porch. He was dressed in pajamas and a robe and his hands were wrapped around a cup of tea that had gone cold. I shuffled my feet and waited for him to look up at me. He wouldn't so I sat down beside him. He tensed up and I immediately withdrew into myself. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and saw him close his eyes and take a deep breath.

"It's over…isn't it?" I stared at him in confusion. When I didn't answer he shook his head.

"I'm too much to love. I know that. But I thought…I had hoped…" I immediately took his face in my hands and ignored his flinches. When he wouldn't turn towards me, I knelt between his legs and stared up at him.

"What are you talking about," I asked him sternly. His eyes flickered with pain and defeat.

"This…whatever we are…it's too much for you, isn't it? You're getting frustrated with my flashbacks and I don't blame you in the slightest. If you need to-" I cut him off with a passionate kiss, one full of hope and promise and what I hope will tell him how much I need him. But he breaks it quickly and his eyes bore into mine.

"Katniss?" I don't know what he's asking me with the weak sound of my name. But I pull him into my arms and hold him close. I notice him shaking against me and my arms tighten.

"Why would you ever think that I'd be ok without you," I say quietly and I start to choke up too. "I need you, Peeta. I thought I'd told you that. I thought you understood that. I love you so much and can't think about a life without you." He pulls away and his thumbs wipe away my tears.

"Then why did you leave the house so angry today?"

"It had nothing to do with you," I say quickly. But I realize that isn't entirely true so I shake my head and sigh. "I'm frustrated but not with you. I'm angry at myself. I was asking Aurelius if there was a way to help you. Your nightmares are getting worse and I just want to help you. And he basically told me I can't do anything. So I got angry. Angry at him, angry at Snow, angry at myself. It's my fault they did this to you. If I had just shut up, married you like I was supposed to, and put a smile on my face, we wouldn't be here."

"Katniss." I can't look at him now and he roughly pulls me up beside him. He cups my chin and he isn't too gentle about it. When I look into his eyes, they are dark but there's a fire blazing there that frightens me just a little.

"It's bullshit, what I just heard. You know we are better off now than we would have been. We'd be mentoring kids, sending them off to their deaths. Neither of us wanted what was forced on us. You didn't want to be forced to be with me. And you may love me now but who's to say you would have ever come to realize that on your own if none of this had happened?" His hands close around mine and he tugs me closer, his lips just inches from mine.

"I'd rather live this damaged life, stricken with nightmares and flashbacks, with you in my arms, than a glamorous life in the Capitol in a loveless marriage and living a nightmarish reality." As per usual, his perfect words have me undone. I fell into his arms and cried and he held me, and he cried too. When we had both exhausted ourselves, we walked hand in hand up to bed.

Now he's thrashing in my arms and I just tighten my hold around him. He's told me before that he hates me being so close to him when he's like this. But I trust him. Even after staring him in the eyes after he's tried to kill me, I trust him. Call me an idiot. Haymitch certainly does. But I won't leave him when he's in this state.

I've discovered that besides me holding him, my singing will bring him out of it. So I stroke his hair gently and sing in his ear. He relaxes slightly but his fingers are tight around my arm. If he leaves bruises, he'll never forgive himself so I try to shuffle myself out of his grasp and pull him closer to my chest.

"Katniss?" I finally hear him whimper.

"Shh," I say soothingly, kissing his forehead. "You're safe. You're with me. We're safe." He lets out a deep sigh and relaxes in my arms. Later, he allows me to lead him back up to the bed and I snuggle into him as close as I can. I draw warmth from his bare chest and my head rests below his chin. His even breathing steadies me and I allow myself to fall back asleep.

When I wake up again, I realize neither of us had any more nightmares. Peeta still sleeps soundly next to me, and I notice that neither of us have moved in the night. I lean forward to give him a soft kiss on the lips, hoping not to wake him. I glance at the window and see the sun is already rising. But Peeta's arms tighten around me and pull me close and I find that I don't want to leave the warmth of his embrace. So I settle back down and feel him sigh deeply.