The Doctor is distraught, and alone...
Shut down to prevent melt down. The Doctor resorts to drastic measures...the third and final scene is the Doctor's.
Scene 21
Theshock of Clara being beamed away, hit The Doctor like a punch to the gut.
He was winded.
He sank to his knees on the floor.
Shouting, kicking, pleading...all were ignored, nothing did any good.
No reply, no sound, just emptiness and silence answered him.
The thought of what might be happening to her was unbearable, so he tried not to think of it.
He'd been in dire situations before, many many times.
Rose had been taken from him on several occasions, in one way or another, and he'd loved her so much, he remembered all too clearly how that felt.
As much as he'd adored her, it didn't come close to how he felt about Clara.
Willingly he'd been able to give Rose to his human counterpart, knowing she'd be happy. Left her behind, able to continue without her.
His feelings for River, so powerful, so intense, but still he could detach himself. Move on.
He could never do that with Clara.
The sun and the moon and the stars were Clara.
That name was engraved on both his hearts. Forever.
His chest hurt. A constant dull ache.
Always so in control. But now...in danger of losing it.
He must shut himself down. Override the rising nausea and panic.
It was the only way his Timelord physiology would cope. He must deal with it. Remain dispassionate, rational.
Eventually he lay down on the floor, overwrought, exhausted, he curled into the foetal position and fell asleep.
Yes, unbelievably, he fell asleep...the Timelord who didn't need to sleep, closed his eyes, shut out everything, closed it all off...slumbered deeply.
He dreamed.
Gallifrey...orange sky, silver leafed trees, the mountains...beautiful, capped with white.
It was years since he'd imagined his own world. His own home.
Mostly when he slept, which wasn't often, and when he dreamed, which was less often still, he saw Earth...or the inside of the Tardis.
They were the places he saw himself, the places his subconscious took him to at times when he allowed his brain to relax.
Once, he'd dreamed of his home planet all the time, been able to pick up an echo, a stream of conscious thought, emanating from it.
Over the eons it had gradually faded, passed into distant memory, until eventually it disappeared altogether.
To be replaced with Planet Earth, the brief lives of those upon it, that touched his own life, they faded in, faded out.
Or, on board the Tardis. In the company of that sentient being, his protector, his guardian, his succour ...and yet...
...He was there, on Gallifrey...walking in the broad daylight, but it couldn't be...Clara was with him.
She was beside him, holding his hand, her little fingers clasped in his. He looked down and saw those huge, beautiful brown eyes, looking back at him...so expressive, so alive.
His hearts beat faster at the sight of her, his mind...reaching out to her...as he had when they'd made love, that first time.
The first time he'd made love to someone with both mind and body for as long as he could remember, feeling her passion, the deep bond that was forged.
The sheer utter joy of it, the bliss, the fulfilment, the culmination of everything he was, had ever been, right at that moment.
And yet he'd wanted more...he wanted to take her to his own home...his world...that was his dream.
To be there...with her beside him.
The Joining Ceremony, he yearned to share that with her.
Now, here they were, and he could.
Make the ultimate commitment.
He moved to embrace her, surround her in mind and body...
Yet...with a cry she was gone...snatched away from him...by some unseen force.
In the dream he screamed, cried out her name, wept, but it was all in silence, no sound came from his lips.
His voice was mute.
No one was there, no one answered, no one heard...
Running...he was running...from an unknown foe.
His only thought was if he could just turn a certain corner, he would be able to reach her. He could hear her calling him...
'Doctor!'... 'Doctor!'...she sounded desperate, close and yet far away.
Each time, as he ran, he thought himself within touching distance, but she seemed to retreat from him.
Just out of reach...always.
He was tiring, breathless, felt his lungs would burst. Her voice seemed to be fading...moving further and further into the distance.
He fell forwards, sprawling on the ground, and everything seemed to spiral upward, Gallifrey seemed to withdraw, melting, dissolving, even as he clutched at the very soil.
A voice reached him, tearing at his soul...
"Doctor. I'm here. Find me."
He woke with a cry, and a jolt. Cold sweat beaded his brow.
He was still curled on the tiled floor. In that white walled sanitised room.
Trapped. A prisoner.
He was alone.
He could still hear her. Distinctly. They were linked.
But she was lost.