Peeta is overwhelmed with the success and popularity of Mellark Family Bakery. I can't believe how good it feels to call that man mine but I find myself claiming him, in more ways than one, on a daily basis. If he minds it, he doesn't say anything. I've denied him my love for so long that I feel like I constantly need to remind him of it. And I love the way his light up whenever I tell him. After our amazing night in his office, we came home and made love twice more before we fell to the sheets, dead to the world.
I don't have much of a mind for business so I'm glad Delly still comes to help with the books, but I make sure I am there to help Peeta in the kitchens. He's hired several more people. The most surprising one was Rory Hawthorne. When Peeta came home and told me Rory had approached him about a job, we were both a bit uneasy. We barely said his brother's name, after all, and I know Peeta was still bothered by the whole Gale thing. But Rory was eager to learn and Peeta was eager to teach him. They bonded quickly and I think Peeta saw himself as a bit of a big brother toward Rory. Hazelle had brought the family back to 12 while Gale had stayed in 2. Rory confided in me one night that he had always disliked Peeta only because of Gale's feelings. He was pleasantly surprised and actually a little upset with Gale when he had actually met Peeta and discovered that he was very likable. I can't imagine how anyone can actually dislike Peeta. The man exudes sunshine, for crying out loud. But I imagine it was hard for Gale. And I can imagine what he said to his family when he had found out about Peeta and me. Both times, that is.
Our fake romance had been broadcasted to the world and now that we are together for real, Panem is rejoicing at the star-crossed lovers once more. I admit I shied away from it at first. When the reporters came to broadcast the opening of the bakery, they had returned the following day to ask Peeta some questions. They had turned to me and asked me how I felt about being referred to as Peeta's family, even though we weren't legally married. I blushed bright red and felt Peeta's damp hand in mine. How to answer that? Well, I screwed up that day. I had dropped Peeta's hand and told them we were taking it slow and I didn't really know what we were.
Thank god the cameras weren't rolling. It would have been disastrous. Peeta had been shocked at my answer and had shut himself in his office. When we went home, he had a flashback, a pretty serious one and it took me hours to calm him down. I spent the night holding him and assuring him I loved him and I knew that for certain. And the next day, I borrowed Peeta's phone to call the reporters, asking to amend my statement. Peeta had walked into the office as I was on the phone and heard me telling them that I loved him and needed him more than I had ever realized and that yes, we were a family. That I was proud to call Peeta Mellark mine. And even though we weren't married yet, I looked forward to our future together. The reporters sounded excited and said they would be sure to include this in their story. I hung up the phone and turned around to find Peeta staring at me, his mouth and his eyes wide.
"You said yet," he said softly before he swept me into his arms and was kissing me breathless.
"Out of everything I just said, that one word is what you caught," I gasped. He smirked and his smile lit up the room.
"Oh I caught the rest. But that one word sticks out the most. One day, I WILL call you my wife." And he kissed me again before I could protest.
When I'm not at the bakery with Peeta, I am in the woods hunting for the district and the surrounding districts. I send meat to the orphanages and Paylor has set up a bunch of food banks to help feed families across Panem. Things are undoubtedly getting better for the districts but people still suffer from hunger. I send what I can and feel proud at night when Peeta holds me and tells me how amazing he thinks I am. The fact that he can tell me this, after everything they put him through and made him think, just reminds me that life can get better.
Then comes a day that I don't think that way at all. Reaping Day. Our first as a freed nation. Plutarch and Paylor want to do a little ceremony, featuring the surviving Victors, but I flat out refuse. Maybe one day but not this year. I talk to Johanna and Annie on the phone and they said no too. I know Paylor is upset because she wants us to show morale for the nation but too much has been lost and it's too soon. I'm surprised when Peeta doesn't try to coax me into it. Instead, he holds me and stays in bed with me when I refuse to get out.
Prim's birthday is two days after Reaping Day. Needless to say, I haven't moved from my bed in a week. I can tell Peeta is worried but I don't have the strength or even the will to assure him everything will be alright. How can it be? So many people are dead. Gone forever. My sister. The only person I ever loved in this world, murdered. Destroyed by hatred and vengeance. I only ever wanted to protect her and give her a chance at life. Now I am living her life. And it's not fair. It's not fair in the slightest.
Peeta POV.
On Katniss's seventh day in bed, I start to get desperate. At first she was talking to me, crying as I held her but now her face is blank and her eyes are wide and lost. I try whispering to her, telling her how much I love her, how much I need her but she doesn't respond. She hasn't moved since Reaping Day. Neither of us left the house on that day. I had even called the Bakery beforehand to tell them I wouldn't be there. I hated to turn my back on Panem, because that's what I felt like we were doing, but Katniss's and my sanity is not stable enough to participate in any kind of ceremony just yet. Plutarch had even tried to call Haymitch to get him to persuade us but our mentor protected us. I don't know what was said but I know it was heated words. And I'm grateful to him for that.
I haven't left Katniss's side and feel terrible for abandoning the bakery. We've barely been open a month and now I'm leaving it to my employees. But Katniss comes first in my life. She's barely eating and she hasn't changed out of her pajamas except the time I made her take a bath with me. I'm watching her waste away and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel helpless, pathetic, and unworthy of her affection. I have three flashbacks that week, down in the kitchen, away from where she can see. Last thing I need is for her to worry over me.
But she doesn't seem to hear any of us. Haymitch has come by, Sae and Hazelle, even Rory Hawthorne. We all plead for her to get out of bed and eat and live again. But she lies there like the undead. I collapse to my knees by the bed, sobbing into my hands, asking her what I need to do to help her. She remains unresponsive.
I finally call Dr. Aurelius. I explain everything through my tears and by the time I'm finished, I am shaking.
"Peeta," he says softly. "You have to take care of yourself too. This environment isn't healthy for you."
"Have you heard a thing I just said?" I scream into the phone. "Katniss is dying! And I can't save her!"
"She isn't dying, Peeta. She's catatonic, stricken by grief. I'll send some medications to help elevate her mood. Do what you can to bring her out of it. Open the blinds, make her favorite foods, talk to her. Just be there for her. It's much like when you have an episode. She feels helpless and doesn't know what to do. You have to help each other."
I decide the man is useless. I have baked about a million cheesebuns, I've opened the windows to let in the sun and the spring breeze, and I hold her in my lap and talk to her until my throat is hoarse. What haven't I tried?!
The medicines come on the train the next day. A man in a white lab coat delivers them to the door and nearly sends me into a episode. But Haymitch is there with me and he calms me down. I take the medicine upstairs and somehow, I coax Katniss to swallow them down as prescribed. Haymitch announces he is going to go get drunk and I pound my head on the wood floor, feeling lost in all this madness. Why can't anyone keep themselves conscious around here?! I find myself wishing for a flashback, just so I can be taken away from all this for a little while.
I slap myself and shake my head. No Mellark. You will not take that easy way out. You will stay focused and take care of your girl. Whatever it takes.
It takes two more days but one morning I feel Katniss move closer to me. Without a thought, I open my arms and allow her to rest her head in the crook of my arm. After a few minutes my eyes shoot open in realization and I turn my head to look at her. Her eyes are closed again but she's cuddled up to me and her breathing is steady and even. I watch her until she wakes up again and when her eyes meet mine, I start to sob uncontrollably. She rises up, looking anxious, and her hand rests on my cheek.
"It's ok, Peeta. I'm ok. We're ok."
That's really all I need. I carry her into the bathroom and make her take a shower with me. I gently scrub at her hair and rub some healing salve all over her body. When we're finished, I carry her back to the bedroom and help her dress. She's weak so I insist she stays in bed while I hurry down to the kitchen and make her lunch. When I bring the tray back upstairs, she's collapsed in tears again. I set the tray on the table and gather her in my arms.
"I'm sorry, Peeta," she chokes out. "Why are you so wonderful?"
I have no answer to that. I don't think I'm all that wonderful but I stay silent. I hold her while she cries and then pull the tray towards her. After she's eaten, she falls asleep and I refuse to leave her side. The next morning she rises before I do and when I wake, she is dressed for hunting. My girl on fire is back. I weep with relief.
"Peeta? Please don't get caught." I look into the imploring eyes of my brother and I shake my head.
"She'll never know. I'll deliver it to the Seam before she even wakes up. Now hand me the piping bag."
"It's great, Peeta. She'll really love it."
"You think so? I hope so." I grin as I pipe the flowers around the cake. It came out a lot better than I had expected. Then again, it's not the first cake I have done on my own. Dad has given me a lot of free reign with making and frosting the cakes. I know Ryean is worried that Mom will see this one but I could care less. I made it all on my own. I made it especially for her.
"Ryean, can you please help your brother out front," my dad comes through the door and my brother nods.
"Sure thing, Dad." He pats me on the shoulder before joining Bialy at the register. Dad wipes his hands on his apron and comes around to appraise my work.
"Looks really good, son."
"Thanks Dad."
"How old is your songbird turning today?" I blush at Dad's words and don't look up from my piping.
"Fifteen."
"Plenty old enough to be asked on a date," he says with a twinkle in his eye. I blush even harder.
"You know I can't do that, Dad."
"And why not?"
"Well for starters, I'd be disowned," I say, shooting a look toward the ceiling. Dad's eyes follow mine and his shoulders slump for a moment.
"Secondly, I think I'd be run out of the Seam if I even tried to do that. That or I'd be shot through the heart by the Hawthorne boy. And thirdly, she'd never consider going on a date with me."
"Peeta, you underestimate yourself my boy." I look into Dad's crystal blue eyes and shake my head sadly.
"No Dad, I don't. I'm just realistic. But I know she's never had a birthday cake before and I'm going to change that. Can you help me with these katniss flowers? For some reason they are coming out all gummy." Dad takes the bag from me and I watch in awe as he produces perfect flowers unlike anything I'd ever be able to create.
"Why don't you do the writing," he hands it back to me. I think it would look better if he does it but I also want to be the one to write her name. Screwing up my face in concentration, I finish writing 'Happy Birthday Katniss' and step back to admire my work. Dad claps my shoulders and nods.
"Well done. So what will you say to her when you deliver it?"
"Special delivery from Mellark Bakery. And a secret admirer ordered it for her." Dad clicks his tongue sympathetically and I hunch my shoulders.
"Dad…it's the way it has to be."
"Her mother was from the Merchant class, you know."
"Yeah, and she married a man from the Seam. I know, you've told me before. But Dad…Katniss will never look at me that way. I can't even get up the courage to talk to her, for crying out loud. It'll take a miracle to bring us together."
"Don't be so quick to dismiss miracles, Peeta," he says gently before he picks up a tray and carries it out to the display cases out front. I sigh and turn back to the cake. It looks pretty decent, I have to say. The green letters are a bit messy but I think it can be forgiven. I hurry off to get a box and quickly box it up. As I'm writing her name on the box with a marker, I feel someone come up behind me. Thinking it's Dad again, I don't turn around and pat the box gently.
"Ok, I'm going to run to the Seam before Mom wakes up. Just tell her I'm making a delivery."
"And who would you be delivering a cake to in the Seam," comes an angry voice that makes me tense up. I glance over my shoulder and gulp audibly.
"Um…someone…someone ordered a cake for this girl's birthday. I'm-I'm delivering it to her house."
"Someone ordered her a cake," she scoffs. "Peeta Mellark, you are a dirty liar and a sorry excuse for a son! Take that cake out there and sell it, right now!"
"But Mom, it's got her name on it!"
"Something that can easily be fixed. Wipe off the name. It won't fetch a great price, if you made it, but at least it won't be a total waste." I take a deep breath and turn to face her.
"Sorry Mom. This is for Katniss's birthday. And I'm going to deliver it to her." Mom's eyes flash and I barely see the rolling pin before I feel it. I wince as pain shoots up my neck and my hand flies to the bruised spot.
"Mom! Please! Don't-" but she brings it down again and I feel the throbbing in my jaw. I cry out as she hits me again and I try to move away from the counter. But she follows me, gripping the rolling pin with white knuckles.
"You dare talk back to me," she spits as she lunges again.
"Mom! Stop! Please!"
"Waste of space! Good for nothing! I should throw you out and then you'd really be at home in the Seam!" I gasp as the wood hits me in the back of the head and I stumble to the floor. She looms over me, raising it again. One more hit to the head and I'm done for.
"Mom!" I gasp and look up into Ryean's shocked face. Bialy and Dad are right behind him and they are all standing there, stunned.
"Ingrid!" Dad rushes forward and grabs the rolling pin. His face is red and he looks angrier than I've ever seen him. Ryean bends down to help me and my hand goes to the back of my head. I swallow when I pull away and find blood. Ryean gasps and pulls me to my feet.
"Come on," he starts to lead me upstairs and I glance back at the cake on the counter. Mom shoots me a death glare and sweeps the cake into the trashcan. I freeze on the steps and let out a sound of protest. Dad shakes his head dejectedly.
"You couldn't let the boy have this one tiny happiness?"
"Trash for Seam trash," she spits. "No son of mine will be seen with a Seam whore."
"I'm no son of yours," I spat before I run up the stairs and slam my door closed.
Ryean joins me a little while later, with a wet cloth and some medicine. I wince while he tends to my injuries and he pulls something out of his bag. My eyes widen at the sight of the crushed box. He looks up at me sadly.
"I know it's not in good enough condition to give to her but you and I can enjoy a slice, in her honor." I open the box and stifle a sob at the ruined cake I had worked so hard on. Ryean produces two forks and lifts a piece up.
"Happy birthday, Katniss Everdeen," he says before taking a bite. I sadly follow suit.
"Happy birthday, Katniss."
My eyes shoot open and I feel a warm breath against my neck. Katniss is curled up in my arms, her face inches from mine. Her bare skin seems to shimmer in the morning sunlight and I take a moment to appreciate her beauty. I run a hand through my hair and wrinkle my nose. What a weird memory to come about so suddenly. Why…
I gasp. My eyes fall on the calendar I have posted on the wall and I swallow. It's May 8th! Katniss's birthday! How could I possibly have forgotten? It's understandable, with everything that's been happening lately but still, I feel terrible. I know Katniss has never celebrated her birthday. I wonder if she's ever even acknowledged it. Well, I remember one year, Prim had come into the bakery to inquire about cakes and how much they cost. If Mom hadn't been there, I would have given her one in a heartbeat. Mom had spoken to her kindly, thinking she was from the Merchant Circle with her blonde hair and her blue eyes but the moment she mentioned Katniss's name, Mom's eyes flashed and she yelled at Prim to get out. So I had yelled at her for yelling at Prim and was sent to bed with no dinner. It was a usual occurrence for me. Somehow, I could never do anything right in my mother's eyes.
I shake myself and turn back to Katniss. It's still dark outside and I wonder how much time I have before she wakes up. I pull my prosthetic on as quietly as I can and scribble a quick note, which I lay on the pillow beside her. I give her a gentle kiss before dressing quickly and hurrying downstairs. I make myself a to-do list and plan out everything I'll need. It's still too early to go knocking on Haymitch's door so I decide to go ahead and go to the bakery first. Ill get the rest of the stuff when I'm finished there. I quickly stuff a few of my painting supplies into a bag and carry it under my arm. Katniss will have the best birthday she has ever had, and I'm determined to make it so.