Author's Note: Hey-yo! Still alive, and I've got a short one for you. A snippet from a chapter that I thought would be the weakest in the series. Since I had gotten to the point where I was ready to just slap the rest together and be done with it. But I persisted and got some help from cmartin to create what I think might be the funniest chapter we've yet done. And from that "funny chapter" is the section that made cmartin refer to me as a quote, "smug bastard." A label that I wear proudly.

Back in the Afterlife, Naruto was muttering something in his sleep.

"Looks like he's dreaming. Girls, bring in the dream mirror at once." Princess Snake commanded.

"Yes, M'lady!" One of the servants chirped before dashing off into another room and re-entering soon after.

"The quickest way to understand a man is by observing his dreams." Snake commented as her handmaiden held the mirror over Naruto's sleeping head.

Practically the entire village turned its attention away from watching the other boys stuff their faces and turned to see what went on inside the head of the Leaf's most infamous prankster.

Sakura in particular felt her sense of curiosity become overwhelming with the desire to know what her boyfriend dreamed about…

The mirror started off only reflecting Naruto's sleeping face, but quickly the image became distorted until it changed completely to show things from Naruto's perspective…

He was standing out in the middle of muddy brown sea. Of in the distance he could see an island that would have been a picture postcard of paradise had it not been for the frankly disgusting looking sea water that surrounded Naruto. Gohan, who was watching him from the real world noticed that the muddy water was steaming, like it had recently been boiled. If this gave dream Naruto any discomfort, he didn't show it.

Just then a large dolphin with a long scar across its nose jumped out of the murky water and landed right in front of Naruto and then disappeared beneath the surf. He looked down to take a closer inspection of the water. Which had bits and pieces of food floating on the surface. Sliced onions, bits of corn, shiitake mushrooms, dried up seaweed. Inspecting the water even closer, Naruto could see a pack of noodles swaying in the ocean waves below him in the place of actual seaweed. Naruto then felt something brush against his leg. His ninja reflexes allowed him to capture it for closer inspection. Instead of it being a fish however, it was a large cut of pork!

It was a sea of Ramen!

Sakura couldn't help herself but double over in laughter. After all this time being either angry or worried about Naruto, Sakura could now plainly see that he was still a kid at heart to be dreaming about something as childish as a sea of ramen.

"What's so funny?" Gohan asked, finding it odd that Sakura would find ramen hilarious.

"It's nothing it's just… Typical Naruto, of course he would dream of ramen. He's such a child sometimes." Sakura said, offering a rare laugh neither Gohan nor Videl, or anyone, had seen in quite a while.

"I don't think you'll be laughing for too long though, Sakura." Videl pointed out, Sakura looked back up at the Orb to see what she meant. What she saw made Sakura's jaw hit the floor.

As Naruto looked up, the scenery changed. No longer was it an empty sea of Ramen, but what was once an isolated place was now packed with pink haired girls.

"Naruto-kun!" They all cried out in joy.

Back in the real world, Sakura couldn't help but freak out. Here was her boyfriend, dreaming about her. Scratch that, an army of her, NAKED, in a sea of ramen!

The dream Naruto ran towards the army of dream Sakuras, who all beckoned for him to come join them. He seemed so giddy as the Sakuras all surrounded him. Either running alongside him in the surf or standing provocatively as he ran by.

Across the Leaf village, Sakura's father Kizashi was trying to restrain a flailing Mebuki from running out and punching something. He himself felt like punching something, but was secretly grateful that the steam of the dream ramen was covering his daughters most private parts. Still, him and Naruto would have words when the boy returned, he could count on that.

Finally, the Sakuras caught up with Naruto and started tugging at him, touching him, cooing in his ear, dragging him underwater. The Orb zoomed out of view of the mirror so that everyone could see the actually sleeping Naruto and the shit eating grin he had on his face.

As Naruto resurfaced from beneath the water the scene changed dramatically. The ramen had turned into a kind of murky water you'd find in the middle of a lake. Naruto looked down and in his arms was a fully clothed and older looking Sakura instead of the army of naked younger girls around the age of the actual Sakura. This Sakura looked paler, almost like she had been swimming in freezing lake water for over an hour during the early spring. The mood had changed to a more dangerous affair.

Off in the distance everyone could see that Naruto was no longer in a tropical paradise, all the other Sakuras were gone too. Instead there was what looked like a massive castle looming on top of an island. At the beach there was a stadium set up where children off all ages wearing black robes were watching Naruto sprint over the water's surface towards the stadium with Sakura held protectively in his arms. It seemed like she was unconscious and shivering from the cold.

Naruto finally reached the docks and gently placed Sakura on the wooden panels. Someone outside of Naruto's peripheral vision handed him a blanket to wrap Sakura in. Looking around, Naruto took stock of the other people who were surrounding him. Like the dark haired kid with glasses and the lightning bolt scar on his forehead and most surprisingly- Gohan and Videl gasped when they saw themselves in Naruto's dream. They were both wrapped in thick blankets, huddled together for warmth even as they leaned over to see how Sakura was doing.

Naruto shouted to get Sakura to wake up, trying to stir her awake to make sure that she is alright. But she wouldn't stir.

"Naruto!" Came a voice off to the dream Naruto's left. He looked up and saw none other than Kakashi and a younger looking Sasuke, wearing the same outfit he wore when Naruto first became a genin. Naruto's mood instantly changed to joy as he waved over to the dark haired teen, who surprisingly smiled back like they were old friends who had never once fought one another over the waterfall at the Valley of the End.

Naruto looked back and Sakura a genin aged Sakura in her old outfit, same long hair and everything, only she was smiling at Naruto like they were still a couple. Naruto encouraged Sakura to run with him so they could both join Sasuke and Kakashi for another exciting mission together.

However, when Naruto looked back to run towards Sasuke, Kakashi was nowhere to be found, and Sasuke appeared to be sinking. Frightened that he might lose Sasuke, Naruto picked up the pace, running faster and faster towards Sasuke, but no matter how far he ran he never seemed to get any closer to Sasuke who never stopped sinking into the earth.

Naruto looked back to ask Sakura what they should do to save Sasuke, but Sakura seemed to be as far away from Naruto as Sasuke was. And just as Sasuke sank deeper into the ground, Sakura began to fade away into the background. As Naruto tried to run back to stop Sakura from disappearing forever, he looked back to see that Sasuke was sinking faster than ever. Bright flames began lapping at Sasuke's waist. As Naruto ran back to save Sasuke, Sakura seemed to become transparent. No matter what Naruto tried to do it seemed like he was destined to lose one or the other, and if he didn't act fast he would lose both either way.

It was so maddening, Naruto screamed and screamed, desperate for an answer, for someone to tell him what choice to make or how to save them both. Something.

Anything…

Author's Note: Now go read the actual chapter. Which promises Saiyan hijinks, male fanservice, unnecessary character revelations, and a completely original addition to the cast that nobody expected nor asked for.

No I'm not going to tell you what the real story is. You're a big kid, you can reread some of the older chapters of this story to find out about the other one. Think of it as a scavenger hunt.