The reviews are OVERWHELMING- and I LOVE seeing new readers (shot out to pookieortega for her kind recommendation on her own story! That means the world!)

(btw, joanna808, I totally agree and don't worry, it will be addressed later on! Just so everyone knows, I have this almost completely written and am about to start on a sequel-but I love to see everyone's guesses on what will happen ;)

So here's a quick one before I leave! Love you all! XOXO

I realize that I'm crying in her arms and I can't stop myself. I feel so terrible and hate the Capitol even more. I'd made her cry. I'd scared her. She probably thought I was going into a flashback and now thinking about it, I could hit myself for doing that. I can't believe I actually chained her up! What the hell was I thinking?! I'm the one who should be cuffed. I'm a mutt! A capitol mutt who hurts the people I love.

Stop it. Stop it! My eyes squeeze shut as I tighten my hold around her and bury my face in her hair. The smell of her shampoo and sex and us together brings me back and I sigh and relax. I lean back to study her and she leans up to kiss me. My hands take her face and hold her still so I can linger around her lips. Everything slows down and we take our time. I lean her back onto the pillows and take her gentler than I ever have. We stare into each other's eyes as we make lovely slowly, carefully even and even though I love being with her, I hate at how…tentative we're being. But I blink and put it out of my mind. Being with Katniss is unlike anything else in the world. It's not just about the sex. It's my pure unadulterated love for her and my need for her presence in my life. So tonight it's unhurried. It's passionate. It's slow. I never look away as sweet droplets of sweat break out on her skin and she reaches around to squeeze my ass, bringing me deeper into her. She seems to understand that we need this and doesn't urge me to go any faster. I don't even care about reaching my peak. It's really about us being together in a way that I have never been with anyone. Will never be with anyone except for her.

I feel her shuddering beneath me and I reach down and start to circle her clit but she shakes her head and grabs my wrist.

"I just want you," she whispers and leans up to kiss me. So I move onto my knees, changing our angle and feel myself slide in even deeper. She moans and reaches up to run her fingers through my hair and my arms start to shake beneath me. I feel her clench around me and I grit my teeth, releasing inside her. I lower my head to her chest for a moment before looking her in the eyes.

"Do you want me to-?" She shakes her head.

"No, another one might kill me." She laughs but I feel even more terrible. She brings me down and I rest my head on her breast.

"Thank you for that. Slow and sweet was exactly what I wanted."

"I'm sorry I couldn't hold off-"

"No, I wanted you to finish. I'm ok, really. Just really tired." I nod and give her a quick kiss as I rise up and make to lie down beside her. But I see a streak of blood on her wrist and I grab her hand.

"Oh god, Katniss."

"Hey, yours looked a lost worse in the Capitol." I shake my head.

"I knew I hurt you."

"It's just a lesson learned. We don't need extra stuff in the bedroom. Not right now anyway. We're perfect together." I try to say something but she cuts me off with her lips.

"Come take a bath with me." I nod and we walk hand in hand to the bathroom. I fill the tub and prop my prosthetic by the wall then slide into the tub. She gets in and settles in front of me, leaning against my chest. She brings my arms around her and tilts her head back. I softly kiss her cheek and our hands intertwine under the water.

"Happy birthday, Katniss," I whisper and I feel her squeeze my hands in response.

When I wake I register that Katniss isn't with me and I begin to panic before I remind myself that she's probably gone hunting. I don't even remember coming back to the bedroom after our bath. I guess I was that tired. I stretch a little and blush when the blankets fall off, leaving me naked on the sheets. I hardly ever sleep without clothes and wish I could remember what happened after our bath. Surely we didn't make love again? I hurriedly dress and glance at the clock while doing so. I've still got some time before I need to be at the bakery so I brush my teeth and hurry downstairs.

I hear hushed voices coming from the kitchen and I freeze on the stairs. They immediately stop and I hear Katniss call out for me.

"Peeta is that you?" I don't answer, and I'm not sure why that is. But I feel like if she stopped talking when she thought I came down the stairs, then she is definitely talking about me. I hear her sigh.

"I think he's still asleep. He's a pretty heavy sleeper when he actually sleeps with no nightmares."

"That's rare, I'm sure. Between the three of us, we could start a freak show act with just our messed up minds," comes Johanna's voice.

"His flashbacks happen more at night than anything else. I keep wanting to ask him what they did to him but…"

"No you don't," Johanna says sharply. "You don't want to know that. I try to forget it. Hearing his screams. Watching what they did to him. You don't ever want to ask it, Katniss. We went through hell in there, all of us. Just leave it at that." I grimace at Jo's words but realize she's right. How I wish I could forget it all. Better leave Katniss in the dark about all of it. She already blames herself for our capture. Why torture her with the grisly details?

"Aurelius says that he will have flashbacks for the rest of his life," says Katniss dejectedly.

"So that's why you don't want to marry him?" A pain seizes my heart and refuses to let go.

"I never said that. I never wanted to marry…anyone. Period."

"You've told me your reasons, Katniss. And I still call bullshit on it. You don't have to have kids to be married. And I don't even understand the whole no kids thing anymore! The Games are over. They'll never be reaped, thanks to you and Peeta and Finnick and Prim and me and Cinna and everyone else who fought for our freedom! What's the real reason you don't want children?"

"I'd make a terrible mother, Johanna. I basically raised Prim on my own and…look what happened." I reach out to clutch the wall with white knuckles. Oh Katniss.

"Katniss, you can't blame yourself for that," Jo's voice is much gentler now. "You did a great job with your sister. You saved her life. When are you going to stop blaming yourself for everyone else's actions? Peeta didn't have to protect you in the arena but he did, because he loves you. Cinna didn't have to make that dress but he did because he believed in the rebellion and in you. Finnick didn't have to go with you to the Capitol but he did because he knew what a freed Panem would mean for everyone. It's not all about you, little girl on fire. Stop making it all about you!"

"I would love to Johanna," she says shrilly and I can hear tears in her voice. I have to stop myself from running to her and holding her in my arms. "But every time I close my eyes I see their faces. I see them telling me that it's my fault. I see the faces of the kids I killed in the Games. I see Rue's expression when she was speared. I see Peeta's blood on the tile after he warned us about 13. I see them ALL THE TIME, Jo. Why would I ever subject a child to a lifetime of hearing mommy scream from nightmares and daddy gripping something to stop himself from killing mommy? Why would I do that to a child?"

"Fine." Johanna's voice is flat and defeated. She's given up easier than I had expected. "But go back to marriage. Children don't mean marriage."

"I still think Peeta is wasting his life with me." Again, I have to keep myself from falling over in shock.

"He's wasting his opportunity to have a happy life with kids. He may not agree with me, but mark me, ten years down the road he is going to regret being with someone who won't have his children. I don't want to live with that disappointment. I don't want to see it on his face, day in and day out and I don't want him to grow tired of being with me. Of waiting for me to change his mind. If I'm not his wife…he can leave whenever he wants."

"You really are SO fucking brainless," Johanna sighs. I understand her frustration. I'm vastly irritated with Katniss right now and it's all I can do to keep myself from bursting in the room. I know she's clueless but god is she selfish too.

"And what do you think you are to him now, hm? Just a random girl he lives with? Like it or not, you two were married ages ago! You are his wife in everything but name and he won't just up and leave you! Jesus Katniss, give the boy some credit will you? I thought you knew him better than that. I mean, I'm a little insulted FOR him. You must not think much of him to be saying shit like that."

"Shut up Johanna. You don't understand, alright?"

"I don't fucking understand?! I wasn't in the cell next to him and I didn't watch him fight his way back to you through the poison? What don't I understand, Katniss?"

"I don't know half the things that they did to you all and I have to find a way to comfort him and bring him back to the present when he has a flashback. I wake up and realize he's gone to a dark place and I have no idea what he is seeing or what they lied to him about. I can only imagine the atrocities they committed. And you're right, I don't want to know the details, but I still find it nearly impossible to bring him back every night after he's left me. He reverts to his hijacked state of mind and believes that I'm hurting him. He kicked me in the ribs the other night because he thought I was a vicious mutt about to attack him. When he came to, he didn't remember anything. I can't possibly tell him what he's done-"

"And he can't possibly tell you what they've done," Jo cuts Katniss off, just as I am blinking back tears. "Damn it, Katniss. He loves you. Peeta is in love with you and aside from his flashbacks and your nightmares, you guys have a pretty amazing life together. George told me on our second date that he could care less about my past. What we focus on is the future. You need to do the same. Believe me when I say, you'll be enough for him. He may want children but that doesn't mean he'd give you up to have them. Do you really think he'd ever go find someone else to have kids with? He wouldn't love that girl even twice as much as he loves you. Stop and think about what you two being together means for both of you. You both need some good in your lives and last night, man did I see the damn room light up with all the light you two were putting off. Together, Katniss. That's where it came from. From you being together. That love you two have isn't just going to go away. And whether you marry him or not, it's still going to be there. Marry him. Don't marry him. Do whatever you think is best for the both of you. But always remember, he came back to you in the end. He always comes back to you. Even after his worst flashback, he comes back and professes his love for you. You're the luckiest bitch in the world and if you can't see that, you don't deserve him." I hear a cup being set down, a chair being pushed back, and heels clicking on the floor. When I hear the door open, Katniss's panicked voice comes again.

"I told him I never wanted to get married, Johanna. What if he doesn't propose again? What if he's given up?" Johanna snorts and I can just imagine her shaking her head.

"Brainless, when has Peeta EVER given up on you?" The door shuts and I hear a thud, then sniffles. I want to go and comfort her but I know she'll be furious if she found out that I heard everything. So I stop my feet on the stairs and walk down the rest of the way. If she wants to hide her tears and pretend she's fine, I'll give her that option. I slowly walk into front hall and am surprised to see her slumped against the door, her knees pulled up to her chest and her face buried in her hands.

"Katniss?" When she doesn't acknowledge me, I fall to my knees and gather into her my arms.

"What is it," I whisper against her hair. "What's wrong?"

"Peeta cut the crap," she sobs, reaching up to wipe her eyes. "I know you heard everything." I swallow and lean back a little. She sniffles and doesn't look at me.

"You are the loudest person in the world. I know you were listening on the stairs."

"I didn't…" I say uncertainly, biting my lip. If she knew I was there, why didn't she stop the conversation? Why would she say those things? Just to piss me off? See what I would do? Did she want me to run in and hold her?

I'm so confused.

"Katniss," I sigh. "Why…what did you want me to do? Why did you say those things? If you knew I was there, why did you go on?" She takes forever in answering me and I clench and unclench my fists. She wipes her nose and finally sits up.

"I realized it after Johanna left. If I had thought about it, I would have realized you were listening and I would have stopped the whole conversation. I'm…I'm so sorry Peeta. I'm sorry for…well, everything you just heard." I can only stare down at her.

"You really think that about me?" She looks up at me quickly and I sigh miserably.

"You honestly think that little of me? That I could just…tire of you and leave you?" She bites her lip and her eyes are darting around the room. Everywhere but on me. It just makes me even angrier. I grip her shoulders and force her to look at me. I hate the fear in her eyes.

"Do you honestly think, Katniss, that I would give you up for anything? After so many years of pining for you and fighting for you, you think I would let you go? Do you think I'm some sort of coward, Katniss? A pathetic fool, just playing some kind of game?"

"Peeta, no! I just-"

"Just what? Explain it to me. Because for someone who tells me she loves me so much, you aren't giving me a whole lot of credit here. You're making me feel like a really awful person and I am once again wondering if I'm even worthy of your attention."

"Peeta!" She reaches out and grabs my face and it's all I can do to keep from pulling away. Her eyes fill with tears and she shakes her head.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking straight. You know how scared I get whenever marriage and children are brought up. But no of course I don't think that. I know that you love me and that you will stay with me. Despite the fact that I think you are wasting your-"

"Don't say it," I growl, my hand flying up and covering her mouth. Her eyes widen and I lower my hand.

"Don't you dare say that I am wasting my life being with you. Can't you just let me choose what I'll do with my life? And who I'll spend it with? Damn it Katniss, can't you just let me love you?"

"Yes," she replies softly, tears spilling over the corners of her eyes. "Yes, I can. I love you, Peeta. I'll never feel like I deserve you. But I love you and am thankful that you love me." She lunges into my arms and clutches my shirt, her tears soaking the material. Sighing heavily, my arms come up and wrap around her. I can't ever stay mad at this girl. Not even when she's breaking my heart.

I pull her away and my thumb trails across her cheek.

"No more of this 'I don't deserve him' stuff, alright? I mean it. We deserve to be happy, Katniss. After all the shit we have been through, we deserve every bit of happiness that we bring to each other. I fought like hell to keep you alive and to give us a chance at actually living. You are what makes me happy. Deal with it." She wipes at her nose and manages a small smile.

"Ok." I kiss her nose and her forehead and rub her shoulders.

"I need to get to the bakery. Why don't you come around lunchtime and maybe we can sneak away for a picnic?"

"Sounds wonderful," she mutters. I kiss her softly before releasing her and we walk back to the kitchen. We don't say much as she pours me tea, omitting the sugar, the way I like it, and she disappears upstairs to get dressed. When she reappears, she has her game bag and her new bow and quiver on her shoulder.

"I have to go to the Hob," she mutters, adjusting her bow.

"How come?"

"I ran out of arrows. Used the last ones on the wild dogs," she explains, refusing to look at me. I give a little 'hmm' in reply and finish my tea. We walk to the door, kiss goodbye, and part ways. She heads off toward the woods and I toward town.

I hear someone call my name as I reach the end of the street and stop and turn.

"Well damn you are up earlier than I expected," I tell Johanna as she jogs toward me.

"I was up even earlier, talking to your girl. Is she gone to the woods?" I nod.

"I'm going to the bakery, if you'd like to join me? Pastries and coffee on the house?"

"How could I refuse," she says with a laugh and we head off toward town.

Johanna immediately knows that I heard everything this morning but she doesn't comment on it. I know we were both irritated with Katniss but there's no point in thinking about it, after Katniss and I somewhat discussed it.

"Hello? Earth to Peeta?"

"Huh? Sorry, Jo, what'd you say?" She rolls her eyes.

"I know the girl on fire is always on your mind but damn boy, focus."

"Sorry. To be fair, I haven't had much else on my mind in twelve years." Johanna makes a face and I have to laugh.

"Ugh, good thing I haven't eaten yet. You two lovebirds are too much for me."

"Really? George isn't that romantic?"

"He's romantic enough. He doesn't spout out mushy shit like that though." I shrug unapologetically. I've been in love with her all my life and I won't apologize for that.

"I'm just joking with you, Peeta," she says gently. "I'm honestly very happy for you both."

"Thank you. Here we are! Welcome to Mellark Family Bakery." She lets out a whistle as she looks around.

"Peeta, you did really good! Look at this place!" I grin with pride as I lead her inside.

"Here, let me get the coffee machines going and you can take your pick of what you'd like to drink." She sits at one of the bistro tables and her eyes dart around the room. I see that the cappuccino machine is already on and I sigh gratefully when I see Riley through the window.

"So Jo, what'll it be? Cappuccino? Latte? Iced coffee?"

"A plain cup of coffee is fine with me. When the hell did you get all fancy and shit?"

"Delly suggested I upgrade and get a couple of these machines. Coffee drinks are very popular around the district and people seem to want more than just regular coffee. I have no idea what the appeal is, I just stick with tea."

"Well let's change it up then. Let me try one of those cappuccino things."

"You got it!" I hurry to make her drink and nod to my other employees as they come through the door. Riley brings out a shelf of fresh muffins and I slide one onto the plate for Johanna. She takes her food and beverage gratefully and lifts the cup to me.

"I'm really impressed, Peeta. I gotta say when we were rescued from the Capitol, I'd have never thought we would even be allowed in polite society again, much less running businesses like this!" I try not to wince at her words; Johanna has always been more than blunt and I try not to let it get to me.

"Thank you," I say in a tight voice and she seems to understand. She nods and goes back to her muffin. I excuse myself to have a word with my employees about our upcoming day and we jump right into baking. Johanna chatters away about George and his assignments and I find myself tuning her out.

Until she mentions their next destination.

"Wait…go back. Where did you say you're heading next?"

"Yeah, you heard me right. District 1. Almost as bad as the Capitol but George has some important business to attend to-"

My mind starts to race. This could be really great! She sees the smile that's crossed my face and she raises a brow.

"What's with the goofy grin, bread boy?"

"Can you do me a really, really huge favor, Johanna?"