AN: So I've heard that they filmed Thorin and Gandalf's first meeting! Which is both exciting and slightly worrying because although I took that chapter from canon, there wasn't much of it so it left a lot of room for interpretation. Richard said it was in the Prancing Pony though—yay, I guessed it right! But I still could be way off from how it went down in the film. Oh well. I'm just anal about details like that but, for once, I probably won't rewrite it because I kind of like how I did it… It'll still bother me though! Haha. Maybe I'll add in a scene if it's significant enough... So excited for DoS though!

Also, I was drawing some inspiration from the LOTR Online, especially architecturally. So if you're interested in a better look at Ered Luin, here's a Youtube link to a brief tour.

/watch?v=K4nPSblcm7s

I don't think we can copy&paste anymore so instead of trying to type that out, you could always search Youtube—video title: "Middle Earth Highlights - Thorin's Hall", youtuber: Etholdir. If you watch it, you'll see that there's supposed to be a huge statue of Thorin in the entrance hall but I don't think he's that vain to have commissioned it. So I'll assume it was built in his honor after he died, so it's not here now. As if anyone would call me out on a missing statue lol

Anons from the last chapter—I think I'll just start responding to you guys here since it bothers me that I reply can't personally.

To Guest: Thank you! Even longer chapters, huh? I thought they had been pretty long XD I normally just end it with the scene I want so I'm not sure. There is definitely drama to come however—of course, it wouldn't be smooth sailing to Erebor lol As for your Necromancer/Emily request: hmmm, I could definitely see the appeal—bad boy Ben and all but I'm not sure if it'd be plausible. I just don't see the Necromancer/Sauron as a being interested or capable of love or even lust. Perhaps in the First Age, maybe, but not definitely not now. The only possibility of them having scenes of an almost intimate or compromising nature would be if he's trying to manipulate her, like before. I'll definitely keep it in mind.

To redhouseclan: I'm happy you like the story thus far and that Thorin is swoon-worthy in this! I take it that you at least think he's IC, so that's awesome! I was kind of concerned about him, as I've said before. And a double review! Holy—wow! Thank you! XD

Chapter X

A Rendezvous with Royals

We passed Thorin's Gates, as they were called (I learned the names of places later on), and entered into a stone courtyard with a large statue of a Dwarf at its center. There were roads leading off in three directions but we continued straight ahead, up a series of very long and wide staircases that led to two massive silver doors with gold forming designs of mountains in their center. We dismounted at the top and another Dwarf who was waiting by the entrance dipped into a bow.

"My king!"

Thorin nodded to him. "See that these horses are cared for," he instructed and the guard quickly complied, leading them back down the stairs and probably off to the stables.

The great doors opened with no small effort and Thorin led me and Gandalf inside of what was named, Thorin's Halls—he seemed to have a lot named after him, what with being the king and all. Only a few paces in and my jaw must've hit the floor. It was… awesome, and I mean that in the original sense of the word, not the modern day meaning. It was absolutely breathtaking.

The Great Hall was a vast cavern carved out of the mountain, elegant and elaborately decorated—who said the Elves were the only ones with taste? The ceiling was so high up I had to crane my neck alllllll the way back to get a good view; it must have gone on for miles!

"Emily?" Gandalf called, some paces ahead of me.

I snapped out of my trance, realizing I had been just standing there, looking around like a kid in a mega-toy store. "Sorry," I mumbled and ran to catch up. Gandalf shook his head, good naturedly, and I noticed the corners of Thorin's eyes were crinkled slightly as if he were amused at my reaction. I suppose it wasn't often that newcomers entered the Hall; still, I couldn't see how anyone could get used to the grandeur of this place though. It was amazing.

There were arches that led to separate halls on the left and right but, we moved forward. Up a small flight of stairs, we came upon another large open area, the Hall of Kings.

Long pillars, decorated with reliefs, lined the main walkway which was paved of polished gold and glinted in the torchlight. To my right I could hear sounds of hammers on steel and the smells of fire and liquid metals were prevalent. Maybe they were making axes or something. To the left was the sound of rushing water and curiously, I could see a blue glow. Very far ahead of us, at the northernmost part of the hall, atop a stepped platform was a throne, and it was occupied. I couldn't tell who the Dwarf was but I assumed Thorin left him in charge in his absence. It was probably Fili, or maybe even, Dwalin. You know we had to be far away if I couldn't tell the difference between the two! As we veered off to the left, the Dwarf who had been sitting on the throne rose, probably recognizing the king. Thorin gave a pronounced nod to the Dwarf in acknowledgement.

The West wing of the Hall of Kings gave way to merchant's area with a grand waterfall, partially hidden by a few buildings. Aside from firelight, there were also massive blue crystals jutting out of the rock like stalactites that seemed to glow. But we didn't venture that far into the wing, as we turned and headed down a ramp which led deeper underground. The tunnels were wide and rocky with trickles of waters flowing down the walls. We passed an opening in the tunnel filled with bright light and laughing; it seemed like some Dwarves were celebrating something, or at least, getting drunk.

Thorin led us through the passage, climbing up three separate levels until we reached another polished hall. It wasn't as enormous as the others but it was still rather impressive. The walls were carved from marble but the ceiling and floor were sheets of gold, both reflecting the light from the crystal torches lining the path.

We came to a door, guarded by two Dwarves who dipped into a low bow at seeing Thorin. Inside the door was a hall that forked into two paths. Thorin turned to one Dwarf with a long blonde beard that was plaited in one giant braid. "Please escort Miss Parker to the guest chambers," Thorin instructed. "See that her needs are met."

"Aye, my lord."

I looked somewhat surprised that he and Gandalf were ditching me. So apparently I was booted from the Quest Council as Thorin didn't deem it necessary to invite me to the planning and scheming party. I felt a bit cheated since I knew more about the quest to be than either of them. But I suppose I should just keep that to myself. I almost protested but honestly, I was too curious to. Ered Luin was totally new to me and I wanted to explore.

"Oh, I guess I'll see you later," I said, crossing my arms.

Thorin nodded to me while Gandalf gave me a warning look that clearly said, "Don't get into trouble." I smiled reassuringly before the pair started off down the left hall. The blonde Dwarf turned to me.

"My lady," he said in a deep voice, bowing slightly though not as deep as he had for Thorin.

"It's just Emily."

"If you'll follow me."

The guard led me about halfway down the hall to one of the guest rooms. He opened the door for me and I peered in, again flabbergasted by the opulence of the design. My eyes were immeditately drawn to the large crystal stalactite in the ceiling, hanging down like a chandelier. From the door, I could see a large bed, covered in thick, black and gray furs, a fireplace, and a few pieces of furniture crafted from marble.

"Do you require anything else?" he asked.

I almost said no, just to end the conversation that was making me feel awkward for some reason. "Actually… yeah," I began, as a thought came to me. "Could you tell me where I could take a bath?"

There was absolutely no way I was going to hop into that gorgeous bed smelling like a sweaty tennis shoe. I was told that the bath halls were at the end of the corridor and down one level. Simple enough. I left my coat and as many layers of clothes in the room that I could. I wandered down the hall wondering who else was living here, if anyone.

It didn't take too long before I reached a ramp but I soon came upon a slight problem. Halfway down the ramp, there was a bath hall and all the way down was another bath hall. I paused, walking back and forth a few times trying to determine the difference. It soon dawned on me that one was designated for men while the other was for women. Another, somewhat horrifying realization hit me as well, that the bath halls were literally a hall with a giant bath. More like a heated pool actually, like they had in ancient times. Great, so I was going to be naked with a bunch of naked people. Perfect.

I took a moment to decide on the lower bath hall, seeing as that was the guard's instructions. 'Down one level'. But man! Do I know why people thought there were no Dwarf women! With all the excessive hair and extra muscles on their bones, I almost thought they were dudes!

There was a small entrance room, lined with shelves containing soaps, stone jars, glass bottles, and towels. I wasn't really sure what was what so I grabbed a towel and a bottle of what smelled like ginger. I don't know—was that a shampoo or…? I also noticed a few cubbies with clothes and figured people undressed here and stashed their stuff. I ducked behind a shelf and after making sure no one was coming, I stripped down in record time and fastened the towel around me. If it weren't for my horrendous body odor that had literally been brewing for months, I'd have chickened out and ran. But I pressed on and entered the bath hall.

It was pretty steamy inside and the air was warm, almost like a sauna. The rock floor was moist and heated by the large bath that I assumed was a hot spring. It was about three recreation pools long, if that means anything to you, with a few pieces of natural rock islanded throughout it.

I tried to avoid eye contact as everyone was stark naked and I had reached a whole new level of uncomfortable. I gripped my towel tightly and power-walked to the far end of the bath, trying not to attract attention. I found a perfect little place behind a rock and slipped into the hot water, using my towel to shield my pale ass from view until I was submerged.

Oh, it felt wonderful. And thankfully, the water had a nice layer of steam overtop it so it did something to hide me. It only came up a bit past my waist, so I had to bend my knees to cover my, well, you know.

For awhile, I just did nothing, soaking in the warmth. I dumped a palm-full of the gingery goop onto my head, washing both my face and hair. I should've brought a brush, I thought, feeling a number of knots and tangles. Later. I lathered up the rest of me as well as I could without leaving the water. A good cloud of soap and dirt surrounded me and I felt pleased. I just had to rinse my hair and maybe swim around in my five foot area for a bit before I called it quits.

I glanced back to make sure no one could see me—only a few Dwarves were looking my way and they didn't seem too interested—and dipped my head underwater. I kept my eyes closed and my breath held, feeling my hair float out around me. My hands swished the product out, bubbles tickling my ears. I smiled briefly, wishing I had goggles, and then realized that seeing underwater would probably be the worst thing possible here.

I resurfaced and sighed, contentedly, pushing my fringe out of my eyes.

"See, I told you she hadn't drowned," came a very familiar voice behind me.

A very familiar male voice.

I whipped around and nearly screamed. No more than a foot in front of me, in the bath, in nothing but their birthday suits, were Fili and Kili, looking both scrutinizing and enthusiastic, respectively. I shrank back and quickly x-ed my arms over my chest. My brain stopped processing for a moment as a million and a half questions ran through my thoughts. The first that managed to pop out of my mouth; however; was, "What?!"

"I thought you'd like to know that you're in the men's bath," Kili smiled. "Wasn't sure if you intended to be."

"Th-the men's?" I squeaked, looking out of the sea of Dwarves. Only then did realized I overlooked one fatal…" Holy shhhh—!"

"I knew she wasn't here on purpose," Kili said to his brother. "She meant to bathe in the upper hall."

Fili shrugged. "Honest mistake if you're using my brother as a reference. He's more feminine than most of our Dwarf-maids," he teased, giving Kili a smirk.

"Hey!"

"It's true, Kili. I've seen newborn babes with more facial hair."

"Well, they don't keep it," he frowned, looking indignant. He faced me again. "We haven't been properly introduced. I am Kili, and this is my brother, Fili."

"Princes," Fili added.

"Heirs to the line of Durin."

"Some more than others."

"At your—" they began in unison but I cut them off.

"Yeah, yeah! Your service. I'm Emily and I'm naked."

"Which do you preferred to be called?" Fili smirked.

I glared. "So not funny."

Kili cocked his head, staring at me intently.

"What?" I snapped, squirming under his gaze.

"You're rather short for an Elf."

"I'm not an Elf and I'm not short," I argued. "I'm taller than you!"

"Would you like to look again?" he laughed, looking down at me, crouched in the water.

"She's bending her knees, Kili."

"Why would she be doing that?"

"To hide her breasts, of course. Haven't you any sense?"

"Hello? Hey, sorry to break this up but, I kind of need to get out of here before the whole bath hall sees me."

"Well, the entrance is over there," Kili pointed. "The same way you came in. It'd be hard not to miss a blue-headed woman running past though."

I groaned. "Maybe, I could just drown here."

"Someone would be sure to see you then," Kili frowned.

"Thank you!" I growled but he seemed not to notice my annoyance.

"Perhaps, we could help," Fili offered which seemed uncharacteristically kind. "We could clear the hall and make sure you had it to yourself—after we'd finished, of course."

"But I don't want anyone to know I mixed up bath halls! I feel like an idiot enough."

"Maybe… We could cause a distraction!" Kili said excitedly. "No one would notice you leave."

"Could you really?" I asked, hopefully.

The brothers shared a sly look and my smile dropped. "What?" I deadpanned.

"We'll help you," Fili started. "But you'll have to do something for us."

"Like… what?" I did not like where this was going.

"Tell us why you and the Wizard were brought here," Kili said. "It's very unlike our Uncle to invite strangers in, especially ones this strange." He gave my hair an odd look.

"I'm right here, ya know."

"So is it a deal?" Fili asked, raising a brow.

I raised a brow of my own. "I don't know… it's really between Gandalf and Thorin."

"Thorin?"

"Your uncle?"

They glanced at each other again—I was starting to hate that silent communication they had going on.

"We know whom you're referring to," Fili said. "We just didn't know that you were comfortable enough with him to use his name without title."

"How did you meet our uncle?" Kili pressed, looking curious.

"Uh…" I had two possible answers. 'I met him in a pub', which sounded kind of bad, or, 'I met him in an inn', which sounded even worse. "It's a long story."

"We have time," Kili urged, again oblivious to my dire situation.

"Well, I don't. I'm kind of naked in a guy's bath hall!" I hissed.

"Then later?" Fili insisted. "Do you agree?"

I wanted to smack him for being so persistent. "Fine! Okay! I'll tell you what I can. Just, get me out of here!"

"Gladly, my lady," Kili beamed. "You might want to bring your towel."

"Yeah. I planned on it," I said through gritted teeth. I couldn't tell if Kili was being a dumbass or a smartass.

I grabbed said towel as they left and wrapped it around me, not caring that it got wet. I watched what the princes were up to, waiting for my cue to run. And then, what I absolutely never expected happened. In the middle of the bath, Fili climbed onto one of the large rocks, standing majestically naked in front of the whole bath hall and exclaimed, "I am Lord of the Bath! Any who oppose my rule, speak now!"

"I have something to say!" Kili shouted, joining his brother on the rock.

"Speak, peasant," Fili commanded, crossing his arms haughtily.

"I say you're not fit to rule! And not nearly good looking enough!"

"Why, you hairless swine!"

"Call me what you will," Kili grinned. "But at least I don't braid my chest hair like a Dwarf-maid."

A few of the Dwarves laughed, clearly amused by their antics. I, on the other hand, was complexly shocked and somewhat traumatized. No one should be that comfortable being naked in front of people! Cultural differences, I guess. But still.

I fervently averted my gaze from the brothers as they continued to banter. I climbed out of the bath and hurriedly made my way to the exit. I was about halfway there when I involuntarily, I swear to god, glanced back at them, and glimpsed their still very naked backsides. And in that brief moment just as I was about to blush and duck my head, Kili turned, caught me looking and winked.

And that's the story of how I died.

Needless to say, I high-tailed it out of there faster than I thought possible with wet feet and smooth flooring. I sped all the way back to my room, clutching my towel and dirty clothes to my chest, leaving a trail of watery footprints. It was sheer luck that I didn't run into anyone.

I honestly had a little panic attack then went into total shutdown mode, just sitting on the bed, staring. After I convinced myself that leaving the country wasn't a good idea, I decided to get dressed. I was mostly dry at this point, aside from my hair and the water it dripped down my back.

The wardrobe had a few dresses in it already—I assumed this room was made for a woman. Maybe the hall Thorin and Gandalf went to was for guys. A decent theory. It turns out, all of the dresses were way too big on me, having been made for a Dwarf-maid's frame.

I sighed but decided to give it a go anyway. It didn't feel right to put on my cruddy uniform again. I opted for a lilac colored dress that was heavily decorated but not as intricate as the ones worn by Elves. It was heavy and warm, something needed in this cold climate, with double sleeves that bunched at the shoulders then fell straight to my wrists. The square neckline drooped too low and the waist could fit at least three of me inside it. In the end, I pulled as much of it as I could back and held it with a hair scrunchy I had in my pack. I looked stupid, yes, basically with a tail sticking out of my back but hell, I was clean. I couldn't bring myself to don my underwear; so instead, I found a pair of bloomers that, thankfully, had a drawstring waist.

I plopped into the bed, finally, and burrowed under the covers, stroking the soft fur blankets on top. I think it was a bear, maybe? I nuzzled into the pillow, my body heat already creating a cocoon of warmth. I wondered how Thorin and Gandalf were making out. Not like that, oh c'mon.

Soon, my thoughts fell away one by one and my head felt heavier and sank further into the pillow.

A knock sounded at the door, bringing me from my half sleep. I sat up groggily until the knock came again. I froze, thinking that Fili and Kili had finally found me (or followed my footprints). I hesitated answering, not feeling up to dealing with them and their questions. Or the embarrassment.

"Who is it?" I called.

"Morumma," said a gruff but somewhat female voice. "King Thorin has sent me."

Thorin? I hopped out of bed. Did he want me to finally get in on the quest business? I opened the door to find a short Dwarf woman. She was old with grey hair braided into a donut bun as well as a few thin braids along her cheeks that were pinned to it. Morumma gave me a nod and pushed past me. I stared at her as she set a satchel on the table, taking out various little bottles.

"Uh… what are you doing?"

"You have need of healing, yes?"

At my surprised look, she responded, "King Thorin said that your injuries should be looked at."

"Oh. So, you're a doctor?"

"A what?"

"A, sorry, a healer?"

She nodded. "I am not sure what can be done for your hair. Some sort of witchcraft, I imagine? I've never seen anything so ill-looking."

My face fell. "It's supposed to look like that."

Morumma shook her head. "Then where are you hurt?"

I was hesitant to show her, as most of the bruises and scrapes were on my stomach and back, but I could tell she was impatient, so I lifted my dress as much as I could without flashing her. She frowned deeply, raising a hand to examine them. I flinched slightly.

"These went untreated for too long," she said, opening a bottle. "Sit."

I complied as she carefully dabbed a liquid onto the cuts. I hissed at the contact as they started to sting.

"Hold still," Morumma muttered, grabbing a small jar. "This should aid in easing those bruises. Have you more?"

"Some on my legs, but they aren't too bad," I answered.

The ointment went on cold but gradually warmed up, creating a soothing sensation. Morumma wrapped my waist in a layer of bandages with the instructions to leave them be for a day. "By then, you can reapply the salve yourself. Can you handle that?"

I nodded. "Yeah, thank you."

Morumma packed her things and turned to me, giving me the once over. "I'll send someone to tailor that dress."

I blushed. "Thanks."

She smiled. "You're the first human I can recall to set foot in Ered Luin. It'd be a shame if you looked like a cat in a tablecloth the whole while."

"The first? You mean me and Gandalf are the only humans to come here?"

Morumma chuckled. "Not many would consider a Wizard human. There is a distinct difference, is there not?"

Oh, yeah… It's easy to forget or overlook but Gandalf really wasn't human. Sure, he looked like an old man but that's how he came here. He didn't have a childhood and grow into magic over time. He wasn't a Dumbledore. He was one of the Maiar, an immortal spirit sent to shape and protect Middle Earth.

"Yeah… suppose so," I agreed.

"There's also a distinct difference in you as well," Morumma said pointedly, inclining her head. "Good day."

I watched her leave. My brows creased as I reflected on her words. She was right. I was out of place here. Yeah, I was human but I was so much more. I knew the future of Middle Earth, of its people. Human doesn't quite describe me anymore. In a way, I was kind of like a guardian too.

A slow smile graced my features. I could live with that.

Two seamstresses arrived some time later, one a middle aged red-head, the other, a young brunette. Yes, both with beards. I was actually getting used to it, scarily enough. If I had been a Dwarf, I think I'd be able to pull off the Jack Sparrow chin braids. Savvy?

"Oh, this won't do at all," the ginger fussed, tugging at the neckline.

"And that color with her hair—that is hair, yes? Oh, alright."

"I like this color," I protested.

They stopped to look at me, surprised, then burst out laughing.

"Oh, no, no, it doesn't work on any color scheme," the ginger explained. "It makes you look sickly."

"And daft."

I sighed. "But I liked this color! It reminds me of Rapunzel!"

"Of who?"

"Of— oh, never mind. The color stays... Please."

It took a few moments of arguing before I convinced them to let me keep the lilac dress. Apparently, I was even more stubborn than a Dwarf. I was kinda proud.

They took in the sides and back so that it fit more snugly in the bodice and added another layer to the bottom of the dress so that it reached my ankles. It took over an hour, all the while I was forced to stand while they pinned and sew and cut and fussed.

"That is a vast improvement," the brunette nodded, smiling thoughtfully.

"Aside from that color."

I cleared my throat. "Well, thanks very much."

"Oh, we aren't finished, dear. You'll need shoes."

"It's okay. I've got my boots," I said, pointing to them on the floor.

The Dwarf-maids stared at them in all their mud-covered glory then continued on as if I hadn't said anything.

"Her feet are too small for most sizes."

"Perhaps a child's shoe?"

"Yes, that will have to do. Run along and fetch one, dear? Something that'll go with that color… but not that color itself. Oh, no."

The brunette hurried out of the room.

"Let's fix you up, shall we?"

"Fix me… for what?"

"For the feast, of course."

"Feast? What feast?" I asked quickly.

The ginger Dwarf looked at me aghast. "The feast in celebration of our King Thorin's return to the mountain, you silly thing. 'What feast'," she laughed. "Come now, shall we start with the hair?"

"No!"

She jumped back, startled by my outburst.

"Uh… I'd like to do it myself." I had been keeping my braid tucked behind my ear, thus keeping Thrain's ornament out of sight. I'll be damned if she recognizes it.

She clucked her tongue. "Then some face color, first."

"Err..." I wasn't sure how much Middle Earth had in common with the Dark Ages and the like so the possibility of lead in their makeup and having it slathered on my face freaked me out. "Actually, I'd like to do both myself, thanks."

"Yourself?"

"I have the shoes!" the brunette panted, rushing through the door. "Will gold trim do?"

"Yes," I interrupted, taking the pair of flats from her. "Thank you both for everything but I really have to lay down or... something."

They protested and moaned but I won out, almost shoving them through the door. I sighed, flopping on the bed.

A feast? As long as nobody expected me to dance or sing, I should be fine. Stuff my face then leave. Good plan.

I brushed the knots out of my hair, and lost a lot of hair in the process to be honest. I didn't want to look like a total slob so I tried doing the stereotypical two pieces of hair twisted to the back. So long as I kept some hair falling in front of my shoulder, I could keep my braid hidden. Honestly, I wasn't sure why I kept hiding it—the sake of not having to explain, maybe? I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed or anything. I kind of just felt like I was intruding… No matter how close I had become with Thrain, it felt like it shouldn't be out in the open. A royal scandal or whatever. I wasn't sure if Thorin had told anyone either and I wouldn't be the one to spill the beans.

The years of using my backpack to carry stuff for sleepovers meant that many little items were forgotten in its pouches—lip glosses I had thought I'd lost, spare socks, bobby pins galore, nail polish, and a bit of makeup. I wasn't going to deck myself out or anything but I just felt a little more confident with a mask on. Of course, I didn't have any foundation or concealer with me so I'd have to deal with my red nose and uneven skin. I ended up doing a cat eye with my liquid liner and using mascara which, sadly, was drying up. I used chapstick instead of gloss since my lips were in serious need of care. Aside from chapped, I had this one cut down my bottom lip from biting it in my sleep when I was having a nightmare back in…

I cleared my throat as I tried to clear my mind.

A horn was blown somewhere, its bellow, long and deep. I threw my shoes on which were more like slippers if anything and rushed outside, wondering what was going on. Was this a fire drill?

I saw a few Dwarf-maids emerge from their rooms near mine. I went up to one who seemed about my age. "Uh, excuse me? What's going on?"

She looked me head to toe. "The feast is starting, don't you know?"

I looked after her as she hurried down the hall. "Well, I do now."

I followed the herd of women until I reached the part where the halls forked. Some of the male Dwarves were joining them and I waited, hoping to see Gandalf or Thorin. Someone put a hand on my shoulder and I spun around, expecting my Wizard friend. Instead, I found a Dwarf woman.

She looked about thirty-something but I figured she was much older since she was a Dwarf. The laugh lines around her mouth made me immediately like her. She had this maternal aura about her that put me at ease. She wore a deep blue gown, encrusted with silver and jewels. Her hair was dark brown, half of it braided up into an intricate series of knots, spotted with gemstones. There was a layer of fine hair along her cheeks that ended at her chin. It was only a few inches long and not enough to braid. Her eyes were blue and warm and seemed familiar to me.

"You are Lady Emily, I presume?" she said to me, her voice was low and had a distinct sultry rasp. "My brother has told me almost nothing about you and thus has made me quite curious, despite his opposite intentions."

"Your brother...?"

"I am Dís, daughter of Thrain and sister to the King."

Oh! I hesitated to reply. "I'm Emily… daughter of William. Er, only child."

She smiled and I didn't feel as much like an ass. Dís held her hand out, "Walk with me?"

I wasn't about to say 'no' to a princess, so I nodded and went along.

"So what has caused my brother to behave so unlike him? Bringing strangers into our home?" Dis asked with a smile.

"Well, he has business with the Wizard, Gandalf, and I guess I tagged along," I said, wanting to be vague but polite.

She chuckled. "That much I already know. I suppose I will have to speak with him to acquire more details… So enough of business, how are you enjoying your stay?"

I mulled it over as we passed into the underground tunnels. "It's going great," I replied. Aside from the minor incidents… "I don't think I ever could have imagined a place so… beautiful."

"Ered Luin is modest compared to other Dwarven kingdoms," she told me. "We've traded extravagance for safety."

I thought of Erebor but didn't mention it; I didn't want to upset her or anything. Besides, it was going to be brought up rather soon, I imagine.

We traveled to a large banquet hall in the mountain. It's layout reminded me very much of the Great Hall in Hogwarts with one long table sitting horizontally on a platform at the front of the room and three rows of tables lined up vertically. But that was about as far as the comparison went. Crystal stalagmites rose up from the ground to meet the tips of stalactites hanging from the ceiling, casting the room in a bluish glow.

As we approached, I noticed that the head table was actually shaped on an angle, like a 'V'. Maybe it made talking to each other easier. I spotted Gandalf right away as even with his hat off, he sat the tallest. He was next to Thorin who sat at the middle, of course.

When I saw him, I almost stopped walking, resulting in me tripping slightly though, thankfully, not enough to be that noticeable—still my face turned bright red. Thorin was wearing something similar to what we wore while in Erebor. It was odd seeing him like that, all casual as if he were wearing sweats and a tee. I was so used to seeing him in furs and armor, as the warrior and leader, and not as the regal King.

"I would like to see you again, Lady Emily," Dís whispered, as we reached the table.

"Sure. I'd like that too," I smiled, and I actually meant it. Dís was pretty nice.

She took a seat to Thorin's right, next to her sons. Fili spotted me and smirked, nudging Kili in the ribs to show him that I'd arrived. The brunette gave me a cheeky smile and wiggled his brows suggestively. Merlin's beard, I'm going to have to punch him soon. Both of them, actually. The little gits.

I sat down beside Gandalf who gave me a sideways glance. "I trust you haven't gotten into trouble?" he asked, lightheartedly.

"Not too much trouble," I replied.

"Miss Parker."

I turned my attention to Thorin who had addressed me.

"I see my sister has made your acquaintance already," he said, shooting Dís a weary look. "Allow me to introduce my nephews."

"We've already met, Uncle," Fili said.

Thorin paused, and I wasn't sure if he looked more worried or suspicious. "Have you?" he drawled.

"Oh, yes," Kili grinned. "It was an enlightening experience, wouldn't you agree, Miss Emily?"

I glowered in my seat, trying to discreetly force-choke the son of a… well, I couldn't really call him that. "Those wouldn't be my words, exactly," I said tightly.

I noticed Thorin studying the princes. He knew something was up but no one called us out on it, thank god.

The feast began and I was surprised there weren't any speeches or anything. The only indication that it was in celebration of Thorin was the Dwarves at the lower tables raising their mugs to him in a toast. It was all very informal, creating a comfortable atmosphere and I was able to relax somewhat. The somewhat being Fili and Kili's unwavering stares. Had I been closer, I'd have kicked them under the table. I think at this point, they were just teasing me and trying to provoke a reaction. It was working too, so I tried not to look at them.

It goes without saying that the Dwarves loved eating. There were a load of dishes to choose from—puddings, stuffings, buttered bread, stews, potatoes, chicken, pheasant (I think), and a huge ass roasted boar complete with tusks! It was nuts! Our table alone made Christmas dinner look like a light snack!

Drinks, on the other hand, were limited. Sure there were an assortment of ales, wines and liquors but I couldn't get near the stuff. No, I wasn't being a goody-goody. I was being responsible. In my whole life, I'd only ever had a glass of champagne on New Years with my parents so, I was a total light-weight when it came to alcohol. If I downed even half a pint, I'd have been piss drunk and spewing out secrets and probably dancing with one of the roast chickens. The thought was horrifying. So I ended up with a special request of water, which earned me a few odd looks. Gandalf; however, seemed relieved. I suppose he envisioned a similar horrific outcome.

"So, Miss Emily," I heard Kili start. I looked up at him with a glare but he didn't seem as antagonistic as before. "What has made your locks such an unusual color? Is it an illness?"

Dís turned to him, appalled. "Kili!"

He looked at his mother in wide-eyed innocence. "I was merely curious! We were all thinking it!"

"No, it's okay," I interjected. "Uh, it's not my natural color. I just dyed it blue."

"You killed your own hair?" Fili asked, incredulously. "I didn't know one could do that."

"Is it even alive?" Kili frowned.

I waved my hands in a 'hold on there' windshield wiper motion. "No, no, no. I didn't kill it, I dyed it. D-Y-E-D, not D-I-E-D… Homonyms," I laughed nervously. "Do they have homonyms in Westron...?"

Even Thorin had stopped eating to gawk at me, concerned for my sanity. I cleared my throat.

"So… you dye it like one would fabric?" Dís asked, trying to come to my aid.

"Yes! Kind of like that," I smiled at her, gratefully.

"But… why?"

My smile dropped and I turned to Kili.

"Because… it's cool looking? And I like the color…" I said awkwardly, kind of like when I had to explain it to my parents. And then I went into a full panicked rambling. "I originally wanted it to be violet, though, because that's like my favorite color, but, something kind of went wrong. I-I mean, in theory, I did everything okay. I bleached it gradually for a few months and oh my gosh, I was bright ginger! I looked like a Weasley, for goodness sake, but uh, when I went to mix the dyes—I had to use two, see, a red and an indigo to make it a really dark purple. But I got the ratios wrong and it was more blue than purple and if I added more red, it would've been a fuchsia and ew, that would've been gross. So I just kept it blue and it's not too bad, really… I… think…"

Stares.

Stares all around.

"This is really good pudding," I announced loudly, spooning a mouthful quickly to terminate any attempts at conversation. Yes, I nearly cried and/ or thought about hiding under the table. I kept my head down until normal conversation resumed. Out of my periph, I saw Gandalf pinching the bridge of his nose.

And that's the story of how I died twice in one day.