A/N: Well, uh, THAT was a long break!
I kind of stopping writing for a while, mostly for school reasons. Super sorry for that! It's been a bit since I've touched this story, but I'm still invested in it, and thank you for being patient with me!
The true gravity of what he'd done hadn't really hit Arthur until he closed the doors to his chambers.
It wasn't as if he'd regretted any of it, but there was something within him that sent the ghost of dread down his spine. Perhaps he didn't think the plan through. Well, he'd already acknowledged that he didn't think the plan through, and that still wasn't a deterrent.
Perhaps he'd been a bit impulsive.
Something akin to guilt flooded his senses as he approached his unmade bed. He felt bad about having made such a decision for the both of them and for putting Merlin's life even more at risk than it already had been, but not to the point of genuine remorse. He even then could not for the life of him find a better alternative.
Still.
There was enough already hanging upon his and Merlin's shoulders and Arthur succeeded in adding even more.
Not helping was the fact that Merlin had looked absolutely livid.
Well, Merlin looked livid in that unclear and silent and tight-lipped way that Arthur was only beginning to associate with anger from the prince's own lack of comprehension. He wondered if the warlock had any decent sort of reason for making a plan to just leave. Yet, honestly, Arthur had a feeling that he wouldn't really have cared even if there had been a decent reason.
He'd have still been pissed.
When Arthur checked his travel supplies, he was surprised to see that they'd all been packed. Merlin had beat him to his own quarters in the time that Arthur had gone to inform his men of their journey's new addition. Either that, or his father had sent someone else to assemble everything for him.
They were to be departing within the next few hours.
Was Merlin upset with him? The very thought nearly made his blood boil. The sorcerer would have had no right. If anything, Arthur had more than enough reason to be upset with him, but it wasn't as if he knew everything. He didn't know what Merlin was thinking - couldn't know - and it left him feeling helpless and entirely out of control, despite him making a dramatic decision for the both of them.
Most of him wanted to run out to meet with the warlock, to demand answers out of him. Of course, Arthur knew that he couldn't do that, knew that he would've had too much to say. He also didn't want to add any more suspicion onto Merlin than that which already existed.
A multitude of questions were running through his mind, so many that he wasn't even sure where to begin.
But before he could confront Merlin, he wanted to give the sorcerer ample time to speak to Gaius and to collect himself.
The first thing that Merlin did when he saw Gaius was hug the man.
Last the sorcerer remembered seeing him, he'd been under the impression that it would have been the final time.
"Well, you're certainly happy to be home," the man said knowingly.
As expected, Merlin went to the most logical excuse he could think of and gave a tense smile, one he made a failed attempt to pass off as relaxed. "Well - yes. Nice to see walls not belonging to a dungeon and all that."
The older man nodded slowly.
He firmly pat Merlin's shoulder. "I am aware of your...predicament, Merlin. Arthur has explained it to me in full."
It seemed as though those words unblocked a current.
Merlin's face turned to an unmatched grimness and his shoulders fell. He let out a sigh, unsure of whether it was one of relief or exasperation. He'd immediately taken down the wall he attempted to build on his way to the physician and, though he felt a small bit happy at knowing that he wouldn't have to keep another secret, that emotion was overshadowed by a million others.
Gaius shook his head.
He didn't want to pry at a clearly emotionally vulnerable Merlin, one who'd spent recent time in a dungeon and had clearly made a terrible mistake. Yet still, he needed to understand. He had to know what possessed the younger man into doing something so reckless. "Merlin, what were you thinking?" he asked, a mix of concerned and exasperated.
As if expecting this response, Merlin huffed in indignation. "I wasn't thinking, that's the issue - it's - it's not as if I knew what I was doing, Gaius. It wasn't as if I'd ever done anything like that."
Silence filled the air momentarily.
"...You're telling me you'd never done time magic before you sent Arthur back?" rather than furious, Gaius sounded incredulous, as if he genuinely couldn't believe that Merlin could have done something so idiotic, and that he didn't even consider such a thing before Merlin had told him. "The effects such irresponsible magic could have on him are unpredictable!"
At first, Merlin didn't understand what he specifically was upset about. "What - what do you mean? Effects?"
His confusion only seemed to frustrate Gaius more. "Magic cast on the spirit is very dangerous, Merlin - especially on one which has already left its body. Have you no idea what repercussions this could bring on Arthur's soul?"
"I - I understand that it was irresponsible; everyone's already told me that!" the sorcerer snapped at his mentor, pacing about the room. "I - I made - a grave mistake during a time that I was...over-emotional, and no longer in my right mind. I'm aware of this. What I don't understand is what this means for Arthur's destiny - for - for my destiny - for everyone's destinies!"
The outburst seemed to calm the older man down.
He pursed his lips and slowly sat himself down at the table.
He spoke in a lower voice, attempting to give some solace to the warlock. "You needn't worry about fate. You aren't the first magic-user to attempt a drastic change to a prophecy. Destiny will correct itself; I'm sure of it, Merlin."
Merlin stopped pacing and uncrossed his arms, expression becoming even more distraught. "What does that mean? Destiny will correct itself - so - so, what, Arthur is just going to die anyway?"
"...I cannot be certain of what fate has in store for him," the other man stated solemnly. All of Gaius's anger turned to pity and sympathy. "All I know is that even the most powerful of sorcerers have not been able to change destiny on their own. Those of the Old Religion dictate fate. Mere men - even powerful men - cannot match that. You must know this, Merlin."
He did know that, but he didn't want to admit it.
Then again, Arthur was meant to die in that moment by Mordred's hand, and Merlin was able to change that. Perhaps that was only in the moment. Perhaps Mordred was destined no matter what to kill him, whether that came at that moment or at another. Still, if that had been the case, why did so many act as if he'd altered fate? Why had Kilgharrah been so outraged?
He had no way to be certain.
If Merlin was certain of one thing, it was that he needed to protect Aithusa.
"I have to grab my things," the sorcerer said, voice suddenly soft and weak. He passed by the man to his room and shut the door.
They took off midday.
Even as he was saddling and climbing onto his horse, Arthur couldn't stop himself from staring at Merlin, wishing they had a chance to speak with each other alone. The sorcerer seemed to be very adamant in making it his mission to not look at Arthur, trying to seem more interested in tying up his belongings than any normal man should have been.
The prince averted his eyes, only to be met with the faraway gaze of Gwen.
His mind suddenly blanked of anything other than her.
He wished he could have seen Guinevere off properly, kissed her goodbye, told her he loved her, but he couldn't. The most he could offer her was a tender smile and a wave from afar,. He couldn't have provided his soon-to-be wife with the affection he knew they both needed. And ultimately, that was all his fault.
In the end, he recognized that their best case scenario was to hide their relationship, to stifle it until the day in which Uther would ultimately pass and they would be able to join themselves together. If they were able to stay true to each other for that long, they were to wait for Gwen to become the queen to rule over Camelot, wait until she could have been accepted as his wife.
A large part of him wondered if they were able to do that.
He promptly decided to put the worry from his mind.
As they departed, Arthur grabbed his manservant tightly by the arm and slowed both their horses down. He leaned in next to Merlin's ear and spoke in a low voice as the knights rode ahead. Just before he said anything, Gwaine looked back for just a moment, raised an inquisitive eyebrow, and shrugged his shoulders before turning his attention forward.
"We know exactly where Borden is going," Arthur finally said in a leveled tone. "He won't have the advantage of time, now."
The only reply Merlin gave was a slight nod, extremely faint and difficult to make out as the horse's movements shifted his torso. He didn't even look at the prince, nor did he give any other signal of acknowledgement. Instead, his ride slowed down, and he began to lag behind on purpose. Arthur sped up to the front, focusing his energy on which direction Borden had been going.
There was a certain hesitation in Merlin's eyes. The thought distracted Arthur from the mission at hand, if only temporarily. It was clear that the sorcerer had more to say, but was purposefully refraining from doing so.
That meant Merlin was without a doubt ignoring him.
If Arthur absolutely loathed anything, it was being ignored.
It wasn't often that the prince was neglected, especially by his manservant. And the possible reasons for why that was only made Arthur more irritated, pushing his desire to speak with Merlin further from his mind. At the same time, he couldn't have felt more inclined to.
He wondered if he could get more of a response from Merlin if he tried provoking the man.
He wondered if trying was even a good idea.
They'd found Borden's camp within only a couple of hours. It thankfully seemed as though the man wasn't too far ahead of them.
It turned out that their previous knowledge had been proven useful and saved them some time. While Merlin's silent intuition raised some eyebrows among the group, none of the knights attempted to question Arthur when he'd inexplicably ridden his horse in a specific direction, looking as if he'd known where he was going despite them all being fully aware of how little information they had.
Every time the knights simply went along with whatever Arthur did or said, it made him think of how his manservant would always question him, would always manage to be defiant. He tried his hardest to make sure that Arthur would never get away with anything free of a sarcastic comment or a snarky inquisitive look.
The desire to provoke Merlin suddenly increased tenfold.
He raised his head up to the dim sky.
"Night approaches. We must rest," Arthur suggested aloud. Just as he'd expected, Merlin's shoulders hiked up.
The sky was indeed beginning to darken, and primarily for the reason that Arthur was purposefully matching the pace that he'd originally gone. As the other knights began to set their camp, the warlock shifted himself to Arthur's side, speaking hastily under his breath. "You said it yourself - we know where Borden is going. If we wish to retrieve the egg, we need to beat him there."
"Curious, I was under the impression that you were ignoring me," the prince said pointedly. "And what happened to not changing the past, Merlin?"
"I believe we're a bit late to be worrying about that," Merlin hissed in an irritated tone. "Borden has the Triskelion. We have a better chance waiting for him than meeting him there."
The argument made sense, all things considered, but practicality and logic weren't about to get in the way of Arthur's pride. He rolled his eyes and gave a humorless smile. "Well, why don't you go on your own, then? That was your plan in the first place," he said spitefully, giving a hard pat to Merlin's shoulder and walking toward Elyan, who'd been busy working to set up the cauldron.
As expected, the sorcerer didn't follow him.
The dark blue tint over the sky turned to a black blanket. After Merlin had finished the stew and served everyone, he retreated to a tree near the horses. It was just close enough for no one to mention anything, but far away enough to keep himself at a considerable distance. It was obviously to get away from Arthur, though he was being stealthy enough to not make it seem obvious.
Eyes focused on the moon, the prince stood and moved himself to rest across from the warlock. He stared silently at the other until Merlin finally made eye contact, then the former king spoke. "Surprised the night's been predictable, after everything?"
"I'm only surprised you're allowing me to eat," Merlin stated, clearly avoiding the question.
"You can blame Lancelot for that," Arthur replied. He attempted to keep the bite from his tone. "Told us we should save some for you."
"I will be sure to thank him, then."
If Merlin somehow wasn't aware of the watered-down disdain Arthur currently held for his knight, he'd been doing a damn good job of acting otherwise.
There was a burning need in his brain to know what Merlin was thinking, a deep desire to see if the idea of running away was still on his mind. It was hard to feel tired with that still in his worries. He couldn't have the sorcerer stay with him all the way up to the tomb, only to see Merlin walk away with the egg. The notion that the warlock could leave him of his own volition had to be out of the question.
He opened his mouth to ask.
Percival sat next to the sorcerer, followed by Gwaine on the other side. Soon enough, the rest of the knights had joined them by the horses.
It hadn't fully registered that they were no longer alone - relatively speaking - until Gwaine started to talk. "That's the most serious face I've seen on your manservant here, Arthur," he said, grabbing the sorcerer's shoulder and giving him a shake.
"Oh, try not to be too rough with him," Percival joked, giving the other knights a faux-cautious look. "Might blast you away with his magic."
Both Merlin and Arthur tensed up.
It seemed neither of them took into account that the others would have learned of Merlin's situation, though it immediately became apparent that it should have. Of course Uther would have told them why they were there, besides their mission for the egg. The king had been so concerned for the safety of his knights that the idea he'd let them go on a journey without the knowledge that someone in their vicinity may be a sorcerer was, of course, ludicrous.
As the former king absently ate, he leveled his voice and said flatly, "Merlin doesn't have magic."
The prince's tone was serious and firm.
To his surprise, Leon shook his head and pat Arthur's shoulder. "Think we don't know that, Sire? We've got to find the dragon's egg. All that with Merlin - that's all just a formality, init?"
"Yeah," pointing his spoon at Arthur, Gwaine grinned. "Hope you don't tell your father I said this, but I've started thinking his age is showing."
The rest of the knights laughed. Both Merlin and Arthur joined in, though theirs were strained.
Shaking his head, Leon looked to the prince. "I'm sure that if your manservant was a magic-user, you'd know. Besides, gotta have someone cook, feed the horses, wash the cauldron - I know none of us are too keen on that," he said, looking around to the others. "Hope this can all blow over once that egg is destroyed."
It suddenly felt as if a weight had been lifted from Arthur's heavy back.
Somehow, the concept that his knights had more faith in him than in their king didn't make him as discontented as it likely should have. The nonchalant mention of destroying the egg hadn't even deterred him.
"Yes," the former king stated, ignoring the stare he could feel Merlin burning into him. "I hope so, too."
Merlin couldn't sleep.
His eyes glazed over the stars within the darkened sky. They reminded him vaguely of guiding lights, though he found little solace in them. He felt restless and exhausted at the same time. To be entirely accurate, he was emotionally drained.
And more than that, he felt empty.
Some part of Merlin felt cut off from his magical brethren. He'd destroyed an entire timeline, relatively speaking, and took his own life in an attempt to fix the mess he'd made. Though he technically didn't die, suicide of any form was still heavily frowned upon among his people; well, among any people, really. Merlin was also equally too afraid and ashamed to face Kilgharrah, unsure of what could await him.
On top of that, he'd felt entirely out of control.
He turned to his side and observed Arthur's sleeping form. Gaius's words repeated in his brain.
Were there any dangerous side-effects on Arthur's soul as a result of Merlin sending it back? It was certainly on the top of his list of worries.
And of all that he'd worried about, Uther's life had also definitely been one of his deepest concerns. He'd been mulling over that particular issue in his mind even more. The longer Camelot went without Arthur as king, the more danger they were all in. And Arthur - the dolt - he'd saved his father and never considered what that meant for the kingdom's future.
No part of Uther gave Merlin any hope for magic in Camelot, and Aithusa was his only real chance of reconnecting with the only part of his life he'd ever had a genuine place within. There was no way he could have allowed Kilgharrah to watch over her again - not after letting her become injured; both physically and mentally.
Of course, there was no sure way for Merlin to safely raise a dragon within Camelot's walls, and he'd already been placed under intense scrutiny from the King. Even knowing this, it seemed Arthur was completely adamant on keeping Merlin by his side. The sorcerer would have been flattered if he hadn't been so busy being frustrated out of his mind.
Part of him wanted to blame Arthur for all of it, wanted to be upset with the future king for destroying fated events, but it wasn't his fault. For all Merlin took it out on him, it still wasn't his fault. And while Merlin was angry, he couldn't have said that his anger was directed at the prince.
More accurately, he was angry with himself.
Destiny was forever altered and it was completely his doing.
He wanted to leave the forest, wanted to find Borden and kill the man for a second time, wanted to drag himself into the tomb and take the egg, then run away and raise Aithusa on his own. When he originally formulated that plan, it seemed to be his only chance to retain one of the most important parts of his life. A chance to do at least one thing right.
Except at the moment, when he'd explained himself, it was clear that he'd have been upsetting Arthur if he went through with it. He didn't realize this until the former king became so determined to keep the warlock by his side.
He also didn't realize until that moment just how much he wanted to avoid disappointing Arthur.
And because of that, he was more lost than ever.
As he stared up at the night sky, he could feel the eyes of the Druids silently judging him.
Merlin was alone. Merlin had always been alone, but it hit him hardest in that exact moment.
"East."
It was the first word out of Arthur's mouth after everyone had awoken and gathered their belongings. He looked back at Merlin, just for a minute, and saw the sorcerer saddling the horses, darkness lining his eyes. It gave him a bit of reassurance to know that he wasn't the only one unable to rest.
Gold lined the leaves, sky a gorgeous mix of light blue and yellow. The beauty of the early day did not feel as though it fit what was to come. In his current state, however, it was hard for Arthur to tell exactly what would happen, even if they were in the past. Despite how all of the events that were to take place technically already had, too much had changed for him to know for sure.
Though, that was for the most part his own fault.
"We're headed East, ah? Glad someone knows where we're going," Elyan said under his breath. Though with the silence of the forest, everyone else could hear it.
For their personal relationships and for all the times the knights would be familiar with him, they often avoided questioning Arthur's apparent knowledge, regardless of whether it made any actual sense or not. It might have been a result of authoritative respect.
Of course, Merlin didn't have any of that.
Arthur stares ahead, counting the steps it would take for them to get to their destination.
Just a moment, and they would be approaching the near-empty clearing, and the darkened cave.
In his opinion, Merlin had gone through enough caves in his recent time. Not as if they had much of a choice, of course.
During their short journey to the cave, Merlin tried his damnedest to recall the events that originally took place afterward, which angle Borden decided to come at them from, how long it took him to find them. All of his calculations were more or less rendered useless, because he couldn't seem to concentrate on anything other than what Arthur would inevitably do.
In fact, Arthur was generally very distracting, and quite frankly made devising a plan for murder rather difficult.
"You're sure this is the way, Sire?" Leon asked incredulously, staring at the
Merlin watched passively as Arthur opened his mouth to reply. Right then, something flickered in the corner of his eye, just before he or Arthur could have suggested that they check inside of the cave.
Fire.
A small, moving light source shone through the cave, and holding it was a man's figure.
The sorcerer ran a hand threw his hair. He didn't take into account that their lack of aimless wandering while looking for which direction the man was going. Before, they'd been several hours behind, as Borden already know the way to go. Of course, this time, they were far ahead of schedule.
Immediately, Merlin realized that the light coming from the cave had to have been him. Borden. The damn thief didn't get as much of a head-start as he'd clearly intended to have. Unfortunate for him.
"There," the prince said lowly, instinctively putting his hand on the hilt of his sword.
They didn't have the option of being quiet. Unfortunately, a knight's armor was not made for stealth. That, alongside the fact that they were all donned this way, caused the sound of their movement to rapidly fill the air as they began tailing the man ahead. Once the sound reached Borden, he stopped on his tracks and sharply inhaled, then broke into a sprint.
At least, he tried to, before a pile of rocks rolled directly to his feet, sending him to the ground. Out of habit, Merlin looked around to ensure no one had noticed where they came from.
Both Gwaine and Elyan quickly worked themselves behind the fallen man, blocking off any possible route of escape. The former let out a humorous sigh. "Looks like you enjoy making our job easier for us, eh?"
"Julius Borden," Arthur's booming voice echoed across the walls as he held his sword steadily, pointed dangerously close to Borden's neck.
The man gritted his teeth, wide-eyed and staring hatefully at the prince as he refused to respond. His head was clearly spinning with ideas of how to possibly get out of the situation, and he glanced across the other knights, as well as to the warlock.
He also stole from the Druids, Merlin thought to himself defensively, but he bit his tongue and stayed quiet. No sense in bringing that up.
"...You - you don't understand the power the dragon could bring," Borden breathed out, desperate to grab Arthur's interest, knowing full well that his life was on the line. "No man could hope to stand against a ruler with one at his side. Surely, you must know that."
Merlin had to stop himself from laughing.
How the man thought he could sway Arthur to his own power-hungry ideals was beyond the sorcerer. For all of Arthur's arrogance and several ignorant tendencies, the soon-to-be king could never have been described as power-hungry. Then again, it wasn't as if Borden could have known much of anything about a prince of a kingdom he'd held such contempt for.
"Your knights would do well to know it, too," the man stated in a low voice.
Before he could finish his proposition, a short grunt was torn from Borden as Arthur's sword roughly struck through his abdomen.
Merlin let out a breath as Borden took his last.
His eyes were ripped from the slowly fading life of the man, torch slipping onto the ground of the cave, as Gwaine whistled and crossed his arms. "Wasn't too smart, now, was he?"
That wasn't entirely true, Merlin thought as he considered the man. It wasn't as if he'd been unintelligent, rather that both Merlin and Arthur had the advantage due to his knowledge, though the warlock had no interest in mentioning this. He walked forward and took the still-lit flame, eyeing the rest of the cave and listening to the distant sound of running water.
Arthur moved forward, stepping around Borden's unmoving body. "I imagine he has the triskellion on his person. Merlin, retrieve it."
The sorcerer rolled his eyes as the prince and his knights trekked ahead.
He moved to kneel down to the lifeless body, Borden's eyes glossy and wide. Merlin had seen dead bodies before, held them in his hands, though he hadn't often needed to search one. He remembered back when he'd given the man a chance, when he thought they could have saved Aithusa together, that Gaius was wrong for judging him so harshly, but that had ultimately ended with anguish in every single way possible.
His hands searched the dead man's belongings, feeling the familiar shape of the triskellion, and he removed it carefully.
"Well," he started with a short shrug and a huff, "if it wasn't him, it would've been me. Probably got the best of the two, at least."
With that, he stood and left Borden to lay in the middle of the cave.
The water running down his face was refreshing, in a way.
It also managed to wash the blood off of Arthur's blade, he noticed as he exited. Blood that should have been on Merlin's hands.
"There you are," the prince stated from the path ahead. "Thought you might've gotten lost."
Merlin pointedly ignored him as the knights laughed, clearly disappointing Arthur.
As the trees slowly left their sights, the towering tomb came into view in the distance. Somehow, Merlin had forgotten just how incredible the tall structure had been. Of course, it had been littered with traps and dangerous obstacles, but he realized just how little he'd really seen of the building, as well as how beautiful the creation before the fall was.
It was a shame that such beauty would inevitably come crashing down.
Black legs tapped on the wooden table.
The spider stepped on and between the woman's fingers, taken from its web and exploring throughout each inch of the small cabin.
Morgana felt the gentle presses into her hand like tiny pins brushing against her skin and observed with passive interest.
She remembered when the sight of a black widow would ignite a level of nervousness and unease in her gut. She wouldn't often see them, clean as the castle she once lived in was. And though she'd never necessarily been afraid of spiders, they certainly made her uncomfortable. That was back when she was reluctant to accept her role, when she'd been ignorant of life's importance.
A High Priestess of her caliber is made to be heavily connected to the spirit and body, the understanding and control of life itself, of all Earthly souls. Such was the nature of her part, of a servant to the Triple Goddess.
Each finger swayed as she held the widow in the air. They then arched upon her stack of books and the spider crawled slowly onto the old leather.
The door opened, sudden sound causing the black widow to scurry off.
Morgana directed her distasteful gaze at Agravaine. Her words held only contempt as she spoke. "Beloved uncle, I trust you've good reason to see me."
"Indeed I do, My Lady," he responded with a short and respectful bow, hands folded behind his back. "It seems...that Arthur's manservant has been put on trial."
This caught her attention. She stared with an incredulous amusement. "Merlin? On trial?"
"Yes," he said carefully, a smile full of contempt creeping onto his face. "The king has accused him of sorcery."
Having gotten rid of their enemy, setting up camp just a ways out from the tomb seemed a safe decision.
It was a false hope that taking the life of Borden might have brought Arthur closer to Merlin, who'd been unwaveringly ignoring him as the journey had gone on. The wall of tension between the two had thankfully gone unnoticed by the knights, though it was painfully obvious to Arthur. He wanted closure, more than anything, though he had no idea of how to go about that.
Deep in thought, he stole a glance at his manservant.
...And for some reason, Merlin had been stirring the food quite hurriedly, turning his neck and darting his eyes around as if he were looking for something. I occured to the prince that Merlin hadn't once taken his eyes off the cauldron since he'd begun making their dinner.
He leaned over Merlin's shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "Something peculiar about the stew?"
"Doubt you'd recall," the warlock stated passively, giving a half-shrug. "You'd all been poisoned last time."
...As a matter of fact, Arthur didn't recall that. In fact, he was quite skeptical at the mere idea. He imagined that he'd have known if he was poisoned. At the very least, there lied the question of exactly what would have reversed that.
"If we'd been poisoned, how - ?"
"Magic," Merlin said simply, waving the fingers on his free hand in front of the prince.
Nodding his head slowly, Arthur looked away and took a deep breath. "Of course."
Perhaps he wasn't quite as used to the casual mention of magic as he thought he'd become during his conversations with Gaius.
Once they started to all eat, Arthur made his way over to Merlin again, who'd been trying even harder to isolate himself. They sat near the horses, yet the prince hadn't tried to start a conversation that time around, mind far too focused on other things. His eyes were fixated on the knights. He'd been so captivated by his own thoughts that he'd barely even touched his stew, something Merlin seemed to have made a mental note of.
The warlock's voice cut through the silence, though only to the point of being audible to Arthur. "You've been uneasy," he said factually. "Not just about me. Something else bothering you?"
It snapped Arthur out of his trance. "'Course not."
"No?" Merlin pushed with a mix of worry and slight irritation. "You're sure?"
Then, Arthur gave the thought some consideration. Perhaps something had felt uneasy to him, and he had a guess as to the source. His eyes glanced over to one particular knight, one who was meant to be dead, and he gave a non-committal shrug. "Might have something to do with someone who's not supposed to be here right now."
Maybe he sounded bitter or ungrateful, and he likely was being exactly those things.
"Well," the sorcerer began, tapping at the bottom of his bowl, "I'd have assumed you would be happy that he's here. Lancelot stands for much of what you love. Chivalry. Bravery. Honesty."
"Yes," Arthur agreed in an overly aggressive voice. "Seems he has a penchant for being very close to what I love."
In response, Merlin shook his head and placed the food on the ground. "Arthur, you shouldn't allow romance to get in the way of the bonds between you and your knights. Not very fitting of a king, yeah?"
"Romance," the prince began, not registering what Merlin had meant at first. In the moment, he was referring to Lancelot's friendship with the warlock - not his relationship with Guinevere. He shrugged it off, as that also applied. Still, it became harder and harder to justify his jealousy on that front, because it was Arthur's own fault for pushing Gwen away.
He'd chosen his father's life over his immediate relationship with Gwen, no matter how little he'd considered that at the time, and he had to accept it. He couldn't have, with a good heart, blamed Lancelot for his own decision.
Now, on the other hand, being upset with Lancelot for pulling Merlin away from him was at least a bit different.
"Well, speaking of romance," Merlin started, a cheeky grin adorning his face, though there seemed to be a spark of concern in his eyes, "I'd say the rebellious part of your relationship has gotten a bit of an extension, yeah? Doesn't seem like your father will let you and Gwen marry anytime soon."
The former king took a moment to consider what he was to say, lowering his head. The fire flickered in the reflection of his eyes. "I suppose it's a good thing that marriage is not on my mind at the moment, then."
He could see the immediate protest spike on Merlin's face, head turned up rapidly.
Before the warlock could say anything, Gwaine sat himself across from them and gave a sideways smile. "That'd make two of us, Sire."
And just like that, their moment of semi-privacy was over as the other knights joined them yet again.
The conversation devolved into a recount of their love lives, though Arthur noticed that Lancelot had been exceptionally quiet throughout the whole ordeal. It was almost worse to see him refuse to acknowledge it rather than the possible alternative. Of course, Lancelot was his knight, and the knights were at least somewhat aware of Arthur's infatuation with Gwen.
Perhaps the man thought it courteous not to mention his own feelings. Something about it felt insulting, though Arthur couldn't pinpoint exactly what or why.
Once they'd left the pot and dishes to clean for Merlin, the rest of the knights resigned themselves to slumber, yet Arthur took a considerable amount of time laying out supplies and staring intently at the sorcerer. He wouldn't have admitted it aloud, but it was completely due to Lancelot still being awake, and also staring at Merlin.
Lancelot scanned the other sleeping men. "Get some rest," he said under his breath, giving Merlin a comforting pat on the shoulder and a firm nod to Arthur. The former king eyed Lancelot and, once he was far enough away, turned to his manservant.
"You're both rather friendly," he accused.
In response, Merlin gave a shrug. "He is my friend."
"Right. Seems more like the man wants your hand."
The sorcerer smiled in jest. "What, jealous?"
Instinctively, the prince gave a disbelieving stare. He felt offended that Merlin would have even assumed that as a joke, regardless of how partially true it was.
Merlin's grin fell and he averted his eyes. "Joking," he said after clearing his throat.
"Yeah," Arthur replied, slowly shaking his head and going back to the task at hand.
They'd stayed somewhat far apart as they both proceeded to rest.
Or, at least, pretended to rest, as Arthur had no intention of actually sleeping. It wasn't as if he'd needed to be at top strength come mornig. Even if he'd been acting too paranoid, that didn't matter to him. He needed to keep an eye on Merlin at whatever cost and imagined that if he'd any remaining thoughts about running off with the egg, that would have been the perfect opportunity to follow through with such a plan.
He could not allow that to happen.
Moonlight washed over the land as Arthur listened to the others drift off.
Ashkanar's tomb towered over the open clearing.
As lost as Merlin had been feeling, standing in front of the giant structure amplified that feeling to a near impossible amount. He had a set of simple, short-term objectives in his mind - make it through the temple, get past the traps, retrieve Aithusa's egg, make it out of the temple - but what then? What would he even do with her? He couldn't keep a dragon in his small home.
He definitely couldn't give her to Kilgharrah.
And now, he couldn't even leave, either. Merlin had been given no options, no ultimate solution. The only one he hadn't considered was refusing to say her name and keeping her forever within the egg, or at least until she was in a safe enough environment to thrive, but just how long could he manage to keep her hidden away?
The fear of what may happen next prevented him from taking that first step into the building. He took the torch out of his bag and prepared to light it.
It took him a moment to realize that there was a noise coming from the trees.
"Well," Arthur's voice filled the night air. "I imagined this would happen."
The sorcerer relaxed, having expected a threat, and rolled his eyes. "For your information, I'd done this last time, as well."
Just before Arthur could respond, or Merlin could try to convince him to go back to their camping spot, the conversation was cut off by a sound. The rushing of leaves just from where Arthur had appeared behind them caught their attention. Both snapped themselves around in a panic, only to see yet another man clad in armor.
"You won't be going alone."
Merlin's immediate defensive stance didn't go unnoticed and Lancelot, shrouded in darkness, placed his hands up.
At the sight of him, Arthur groaned and threw his hands up. "Of course you're here."
"Listen, I've seen how you two are acting around each other," the words echoed within Merlin's mind, bouncing quietly off the trees. "We can't fail this mission over a quarrel between friends - I'm going into the temple, as well."
To Merlin's side, Arthur raised his hands yet again, this time in offended confusion. "How have we been acting around each other?"
It was the warlock's turn to groan, utterly exasperated. He didn't have time for this, knowing full well that they only had a few short hours until the sun was to rise, and abandoned his hope of telling either of them to let him enter the tomb alone. Raising a hand, he lit the torch, eyes briefly glowing golden as he spoke.
"If you're both here, we'll have to all go in," he said with a sigh. "I doubt you'll allow me to do this on my own, so let's just hurry this up."
Though Arthur flinched briefly, Lancelot started at the sorcerer, eyes shifting frantically between him and the prince. "You've," he cut himself off, looking alarmed and concerned. "You've - Merlin, you just - "
"Are you simple?" Arthur demanded to Merlin, just as distraught as the knight he'd just interrupted. "You can't just do that in front of whomever you wish!"
There was something ridiculously exhausting about their exclamations.
Merlin frowned and rubbed his forehead.
"You're both, no," he cut himself off and looked to Arthur, gesturing over to the knight. "He knows about my magic already, and - yes, Arthur knows, as well," he finishes, looking over to Lancelot at the last part of his statement.
It seemed the revelation shocked Lancelot to the point of making him speechless. He clearly wanted to asked a hundred different questions, but he couldn't quite decide on which of them he wanted to ask them to, or where to even start. More than confused at Merlin, he seemed more concerned with how Arthur knew anything at all.
The prince only looked surprised for a moment, before taking on a more resigned expression. "Of course. I was right from the beginning. Did he know back then, too?"
"Back - Arthur, we don't have time for this," Merlin responded vehemently. He then shifted his attention back to his other friend and gave him a sympathetic look. "I know this may be confusing for you - trust me when I say that it is just as confusing for us. We have to finish this and get the egg to safety; then, I'll explain this all to you."
Slowly, Lancelot's expression evens out. "...Had a feeling you didn't intend to have that egg destroyed," he said off-handedly. "If you'll tell me what this is all about after, we'd best get going, then."
An unspoken message passed between Arthur and Merlin as the two looked at each other sternly.
Finally, the warlock reached for the triskellion and led the other two to the side of the tomb, climbing his way into the nearly blocked-off opening. Once he made his way into the archway, he gazed over the dim hall ahead and waited for the other two to follow. It was just as cold and uninviting as he'd remembered it being.
He pointed his torch to the left entrance just a few feet forward. "This way."
They stepped carefully, though Merlin assumed the other two only followed because he'd been acting so cautious. He had no idea of exactly how many traps were within the tomb and had no intention of finding out. As soon as he turned the corner, he was met with the door, a shape identically resembling the triskellion indented at the top.
Merlin pushed the key in place, then slowly twisted the face of the symbol before feeling the door click and push itself open.
On cue, a hissing jumped on the tomb walls.
"Back away," Merlin said hastily, pushing the other two behind him as the strange smoke began filling the doorway. "Back away!"
He'd completely forgotten about the smoke and felt a short burst of panic, covering his mouth and nose with his shirt. The three retreated to the end of the hallway and waited for the sound to stop. When the smoke nearly reached them, Merlin shoved a hand out and murmured a phrase Arthur was sure he'd never heard before.
Just like that, it was gone.
All of the threatening substance retreated back into the room ahead, dissipating into the air on its way.
"Safe now?" Lancelot asked, only to be met with a short nod from the warlock.
The oppressive atmosphere of the dark tomb was suffocating, despite its open space. The narrow walls leading them up into the spacious area seemed as though they'd come from a completely different structure, a totally different world. Even without the torch, light slipped through the cracks of the stone. Pillars lined each side of them, leading to a short pedestal.
There she was.
Aithusa. Just as she'd been found the first time.
To his side, Arthur eyed the egg, expression unreadable. "Funny, nearly forgot we'd never been in here last time around."
"That's the second time you've said that," Lancelot pointed out bluntly, just before Merlin could tell Arthur to keep quiet. "Last time, you keep mentioning something about last time, but what does that mean?"
Waving his free hand, Merlin shook his head. "Nothing. Ignore him."
Arthur frowned and scoffed. "And why's that, Merlin?" he asked, scorn lining his tone as he raised an arm to gesture at his knight. "You seem to trust him, don't you? May as well tell him all about what you did."
"Oh, good," the warlock said, clearly exasperated with the prince as he gave a sarcastic shrug. "Gaius knows, the Cailleach knows, Kilgharrah knows, the Druids know, now you want to tell Lancelot - why don't we tell the entire kingdom, while we're at it? Shout it to the sky!" Merlin turned his head to the ceiling and raised his voice, yelling out. "The great sorcerer Emrys has done it; he's shattered destiny itself and brought a dead man back to life!"
Lancelot's eyebrows raised suddenly at the outburst.
The prince rolled his eyes in disdain. "Oh, are you quite done?"
That seemed to let loose a river of outrage from Merlin. "Really?"he asked angrily, raising his voice to a near shout. "You know, this isn't just my problem, not with what you've done!"
"I know that!" Arthur yelled. "Of course I know that, Merlin. The decisions I made have changed everything. You sent me back to right when my father lost his life and - what? You expected that I would stand back and allow it to happen? That I would watch him die again? I was given an opportunity to save the life of someone I care about and I took it. Is that not what you did, too?"
The sorcerer let out a helpless breath, unable to figure out how to respond. His shoulders fell and he stepped backward as Arthur stepped forward, slowly forcing him to the west wall. "Arthur - "
"Not to mention," he began pointedly, gesturing to the uncomfortable Lancelot on the other side of the room, "that it hadn't even been my decision to save his life. That was entirely your fault, do you know that?"
The knight's eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"
Merlin held up a hand and tried to raise his voice. "Arthur, this isn't - "
"And would you like to know what I find the most hilarious about all of his, Merlin?" he asked rhetorically, cutting his manservant off. "You come back, and you immediately want to leave. No explanation, no information about what you did to me or why you did it. You even wanted to take the dragon and run!"
"Because she's all I have left from that part of me!" Merlin shouted back, anger bubbling within him. "Every connection I have to magic has rejected and abandoned me, all because of what I did, all because I wanted to keep you alive!"
Silence filled the tomb as Lancelot looked between the two, stiff with tension.
The rage in Arthur's eyes had somewhat faded. He backed away and looked to the warlock with a lost and exhausted expression. "Why?" he asked simply. "Why are you so willing to...to give up so much?"
For me, he wanted to add, but refrained.
A loud sigh echoed through the room. Merlin visibly swallowed and hesitated in giving a response, running a hand through his hair and trying to collect his thoughts. It was a question he had to answer multiple times and in multiple different ways during the time of Arthur's death, and they began to replay all over again in his mind. "I've told you."
"No, no, it cannot be destiny," the prince insisted. "I have doubts that I would go through what you have just for the sake of destiny."
The sorcerer gave a pathetic-sounding bark of laughter, one that sounded a bit too forced out to be any level of genuine. "Well, you'd be surprised at how guilty an old dragon can make you feel for not following what destiny has intended."
"...Have you really done all of this out of obligation, then?"
It wasn't often that such an extreme level of hurt would appear on Arthur's face.
That expression broke Merlin's heart every time it happened. And in that moment, it seemed as though he was the one responsible for it. Did the man care that deeply about how Merlin felt? He obviously had, though it was so off-putting and unexpected that it knocked the breath right out of him.
Of course, another part of him felt complete outrage at Arthur's daftness.
How could anyone have even considered that Merlin would have sacrificed nearly everything he'd ever cared for in his life for the safety of one man, all out of simple obligation? It felt as though it didn't even need to be said, that it was obvious. He didn't know whether to be angry that the former king had doubted him, or happy that he'd worried so much about Merlin's opinion of him.
"No," he finally protested firmly, snapping Arthur out of his temporary rut. "You already know why I do this. Fated events, whatever destiny has in store for either of us - they're no longer my concern. I am, and always will be, proud to serve you."
Before he could understand what the prince's eyes were telling him, he heard the sound of shifting rock.
Both Merlin and Arthur turned their heads to see Lancelot holding the white egg in his hands.
"Apologies," he said rather unapologetically, shrugging his shoulders. "I figured that I might as well - "
Lancelot was cut off by a loud rumbling and they all looked to the ceiling.
Suddenly snapped out of their conversation, both Arthur and Merlin looked to each other in a panicked stupor as dust started to surround them. Trying to act as fast as they could, Arthur took the egg and quickly hid it within the sorcerer's bag while Merlin hurried to grab at Lancelot's arm, pulling him down the stairs as the walls began to cave in around them and the earthquake-like shaking became increasingly louder.
Though they were sprinting to the exit, the floors beneath them shifted and fell just as quickly as they ran. They'd been lucky in that the path inside had been rather short, and that it didn't take long to make their escape.
Right after they'd all made it out, the entrance caved in behind them.
They stopped and turned back to watch the crushing collapse ensue. It felt like the entire forest was shaking, the leaves on trees brushing against each other as the ground vibrated. The tomb threw rocks and broken wall inside of itself, as if it were imploding, or like an incredible force was pushing down on it.
"What the hell just happened?"
It was Leon's rapidly approaching voice alongside the numerous loud footsteps of the other knights.
"The tomb," Arthur started, out of breath more from the panic than the running, "it was a trap."
Stepping forward, Gwaine stared in amazement at the crashing building. "And the egg?"
Once they'd all gotten a chance to catch their breath, they tore their eyes away from the tomb. The three looked to each other, then to the bag, just briefly. Both Merlin and Arthur went to respond, to try and convince them that it had perished with the structure. Before either could, Lancelot opened his mouth. "Left it in there. Had to've been destroyed, too."
There was a pause as they all stared at the knight, both Merlin and Arthur included.
Then, they glanced back to Ashkanar's disturbed resting place, reduced to rubble.
"Well, takes care of our job. Nothing's going to survive under all that," Leon gave a huff of laughter and pat Merlin on the shoulder. "I'm sure the King will be pleased."
Merlin gave a wry smile, clutching the bag in his hands.