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It had all started innocently, at least innocent on America's part. She had honestly just wanted to know how the country was doing since his city had frozen over.

Said nation had launched into a six minute monologue about how 'damn stupid and ignorant' she was.

Right then and there, America decided that the other nation was a huge asshole.

"Geez, I thought he was supposed to be one of the friendlier nations," America complained loudly as she glared at the door through which the other nation had left.

"I think he is just tired of people making that joke," Canada interjected kindly. Her ally was sitting by her side the whole time, and even patted her on the shoulder after she received such harsh words.

She blinked at him, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"What joke?"

Her neighbor nearly face planted into the desk in surprise. "The joke? A-about 'Hell freezing over'?"

"What are you talking about dude? It was -45 degrees there last week. Of course it froze over," she explained matter-of-factly with her blues eyes flashing behind Texas. "See, this is what I get for being friendly. Some jackass has a mood swing."

"No," Canada said in exasperation, "I mean yes, it was very cold, but the joke about the town name."

"Oh," America said slowly. "Oh. Because it's name 'Hell'? That's just stupid. I have a town named that! Heck, I have worse. You don't see me getting pissed off about 'Climax, Georgia'."

There was a heavy pause in the air as Canada stared at her with unblinking eyes.

"You have... a town... called 'Climax'?" He repeated in disbelief.

"Uh-huh, and 'Intercourse'." America blushed slightly, as she noticed Canada's wide eyes. She shrugged. "Hey, it's still better than 'Toad suck'."

"Toad suck?" Canada repeated in a serious tone. "Really?"

"Yep. That and 'Hooker'."

"You have a Hooker?!" Canada exclaimed loudly. His voice reverberated off the walls.

China, who just happened to be passing by paused. He looked at Taiwan, who had also obviously heard the loud exclamation.

"Come one," China commanded forcefully, nearly gritting his teeth.

Taiwan looked at him and then back at the door. "Perhaps if would be better if I stayed-"

"No!" The largest nation denied fiercely. He grabbed Taiwan and drug him further down the hall.

Honestly what was with all these young nations and sex?!

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Prussia was totally awesome, but sometimes he got himself and countless others into trouble. Like the day he decided to play on America's fear of ghosts and the supernatural. It wasn't that he didn't like America. It was just hilarious to watch her freak out over that sort of thing.

So, when he thought it was a great idea to record her reaction to a shambling undead half demon, half-ghost thing, he had not anticipated what she would scream.

Or that the scream would be followed by a much smaller cry for help.

"Ahhh! Russia!" America screamed as she covered her face from the terrifying creature before her. Because Prussia was a wiz with animatronics and computers, so it was very realistic.

"Help," she said softly, almost inaudibly.

Prussia was struck mute from shock. And it did not help that said Slavic nation managed to overhear it and break the door.

Prussia refused to pay for that. Russia was the one that did it. Granted the sight of a wide eyed Russia staring at a trembling America was exceedingly comical, but also deeply disturbing.

As was the large ear to ear grin that bloomed on Russia's face as he smashed Prussia's -highly expensive- animatronics.

"Verdammt!" He bellowed in outrage, giving away his hiding place underneath the table and behind two chairs.

America looked up, her face flushed with sudden rage. Her blue eyes narrowed behind Texas, and her cowlick swayed as she turned toward him with murder written on her face.

He nearly let out a cry of his own.

"You son of a Bitch," she hissed lowly, starting toward him.

Russia held her back.

"Ah ha. Amerika. Am I correct in thinking that you called for my help?"

She paled. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him. Her hands fisted on her hips. "I did not. " She denied hotly. Her gaze moved toward the ground. "i thought you were the one doing it."

America tilted her chin defiantly.

Russia chuckled softly to himself. "Oh? Da? Is that why you said, 'Russia, help!'?"

She glared at the horrible way he mimicked her accent, and he made it sound so damn lewd.

"Stop that! I did not!" She snarled, turning even more red in embarrassment. Oh lord, she would never live this down.

Russia drew closer, his amusement was highly evident and his eyes were sparkling.

America frowned, knowing she really never was going to live this down. That made her pretty pissed off, and Prussia was very lucky she was such a kind country. She should get medals for this indignity!

"You did. You said 'Russia help!'."

"Shut up!" She snapped. "Don't say it like that!"

"Like what?" Russia asked, with a nearly seductive smile.

She blushed, then paled, and finally blushed again as she mumbled something.

Russia was nearly breathing her air, he was so close.

"What was that?" He asked in a smug tone.

"Like..." she mumbled.

"Like?" He repeated with glee.

England, chose that unfortunate moment to burst in, having heard the scream from earlier.

"We're having sex!" America shouted at the top of her lungs.

"Oh my..." England blurted out, drawing attention toward him. Prussia's eyes were as wide as saucers, and America's were even larger than his.

"Uh..."

"Privet England!" Russia said with a wide smile.

England's mind was racing. He should have given America the flowers. If he had given her the flowers, she never would have had sex with Russia. Oh by his Queen... she was having sex... with... Russia. Was the room spinning?

"England, dude," America started out as she moved toward him. "I can explain."

Oh... she really was having sex with Russia! England gave a weak sort of confused gurgle before he pitched forward onto the floor in a dead faint.

"Ehrfürchtige," Prussia said with delight and a wide smile.

Unfortunately he drew attention to himself, and America was on him in the blink of an eye. She flipped over the table he was hiding under and looked at his phone pointedly.

"Are you recording this?" She asked lowly.

The albino nation could only nod as Russia clapped his hands in delight.

"You erase that this instant," America warned seriously, "Or I will do things to you that even he can't things of."

Prussia looked at the smiling Russia and then back at the furious face of America. For a moment he actually thought she meant it.

He quickly erased the video. But the memory would live on.

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"America?"

"Yeah dude?"

"Why does it say 'China' on your back?"

"What?"

Taiwan slowed his steps just outside the door, and curiously peaked in. His brown eyes caught sight of America and India standing together in an vacant meeting room. He curiously watched the pair. America said she had a 'hooker' and now he was trying to figure out who it was. Was it a human, or a nation?

Quietly he aligned himself to the door.

"Why does it say 'China' on your back?" India repeated patiently.

"Uh..." She blushed, and stuttered as she pressed her back against a wall. "No reason."

Taiwan stared at America. His brain putting two and two together. His mouth opened and closed several times but no sound escaped. America... and China! China... and America! Honestly, China! That was the reason America bought so many exports from China? She and he were...?

Oh disgusting! Taiwan turned and fled down the hall. He had to tell the others! He had to stop America's exploitation of his friend!

"It was on sale," she attempted to distract from the situation, as she simultaneously attempted to rip off the tag of her shirt. She had forgotten it was still on there. How embarrassing to have 'Made in China' on one of the clothes she was wearing.

Normally, she always went for 'Made in the USA', but it had been a cute shirt and people were encouraging her to spend less...

"You really need to stop buying so much clothing from-" India teased, good naturedly.

"Not one more word." America said.

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England had been avoiding America for three days. It was not overly hard, but he wanted to patch things up between them. However, as he neared her hotel room, he heard more shouting.

'Oh please, not Russia again,' he thought with dismay. He couldn't imagine his America with... Russia. Especially not engaging in carnal delights.

"I know all about it, so you may as well admit it!" A male voice shouted.

"I have no idea what you are talking about!" America yelled back.

England pushed at the door, unsurprised when it swung open, revealing Taiwan and America both angrily glaring at each other.

"I know all about it." Taiwan repeated stubbornly.

America threw her hands up in the air. "About what?"

"You might have the others fooled, but not me," The male nation gloated tauntingly. "When this comes to light, you will be ruined."

England grit his teeth, and clenched his jaw. The little twat was going to tell everyone about America and Russia...being... intimate. Darkness encroached on the edge of his vision. Other nations were not as accepting as England. If the rest of the world found out, there would be plagues, wailing and gnashing of teeth, rivers would dry up, the sun would turn red, the continents would crumble into the sea...

Well, perhaps that was a touch on the dramatic side, but nations would most assuredly 'flip the fuck out'. To quote America.

He had to intervene. It was two fold. One, it would keep Taiwan from telling the whole bloody world about such things, and two... America said she preferred gentleman. England was every inch the gentleman. He had invented them!

What to do? If he interrupted, it could be seen as him covering for America. But... he was.. Therefore he should just say...

"It was me!" England said suddenly.

The pair jumped at the sound of his voice and America blinked at him.

"England?"

"You?" Taiwan said at the same time.

"Yes," England said with false bravado. "What you found out, about America... well, it wasn't America," he continued, trying to spare her.

"It was me," he finished, and his green eyes locked with Taiwan's.

Taiwan's face shifted from surprise, to disgust, to shock, and finally settled on careful neutrality. Though he looked slightly green.

"I see," the dark haired nation said. "I apologize America, I should be going."

He barely made it out the door before England and America heard the tell-tale sounds of someone retching in the hallway.

"Seriously," America said with exasperation. "What the hell is going on with everyone lately?"

England said nothing, but thought it would be a fine time to break into the mini bottles of liquor in the room.