Rated M. This is a piece of literary fiction. The Author does not claim ownership pertaining to the ideas/characteristics/ect, of Hetalia or any subsidiary thereof.

Rated M.

OoOoOo

America wondered why half the nations were whispering when she came into the meeting, and why the other half were not even able to look her way.

Hmmm.

Maybe she was being a tad paranoid, but she could have sworn -dollars to donuts- that they were talking about her. She only had this rather large clue do to the way that Uruguay was pointing at her and staring at her chest. Very intensely. America bristled with sudden distain.

They were real. And, they were freakin' awesome, thank you so much.

Sky-blue eyes narrowed behind Texas. They had better not be comparing her cup size to other nations. Not everyone could match Ukraine. The woman was generously blessed in that department. Also, it wasn't America's fault that a large number of her farms had closed since the availability of food storage and packaged produce had come into play! So what if she'd shrunk a cup-size, possibly two. Her breasts were freaking fantastic! She was still working with 2.1 million acres of fertile lands for all her fiber, food, and fuel needs.

Damn them!

Nantucket moved angrily, swishing to the side for a moment. She may not be the busty beauty she was, but she still had a rack that was ogle worthy. America was half-way to convincing herself to take off her jacket and 'showcase' some of her assets. She was America! Huge knockers or part of the Itty bitty titty committee, she was a damn fine woman.

Spain caught her attention, by waving to her brightly. America scowled in his general direction. The poor guy wasn't at fault, but America couldn't help but notice the way he was also glancing at her crotch. She almost felt bad for the nearly apologetic look on his face, but she couldn't shake the feeling that this was strange. Even for Spain. Which was stating quite a bit. Because he was even more passionate about women than France.

The suave nation winked at her though, and mouthed something that she didn't quite catch.

Her brow puckered in concentration, but then Canada clapped a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see his violet eyes, warm and friendly. Ah, okay. Some things were still the same.

"America, could I talk to you for a second?" Her neighbor asked cordially.

"Yeah, sure dude," she muttered, glaring at Uruguay and Spain again.

"Alone," Canada said quietly.

Oh geez, what was going on now?

OoOoOo

"So you see," Canada continued as he moved to open the door, after America had been briefed on the situation, "That is why I was wondering if you-"

"Of course I will help," The female nation agreed in a breezy, yet determined tone. "Anything for my Ally."

Relief swept through his features. Canada moved to shake her hand. "Thanks again, America."

She nodded happily. The truth was, she would do just about anything for Canada, he was her closest ally and he had signed the North American Aerospace Defense Command with her. So that, if anything were to happen, they could stop missile attacks before they reached North American territory as a whole. Or many planned invasions. America already paid for a large portion -Close to 90%- of it and it was staffed with mostly US personell. All at no cost to Canada. With recent political tnesions, he wanted to borrow more soldiers.

Hell, she'd do that for him.

Canada was a part of the reason that Russia never went further on the whole 'Cold War' issue. Though, she still didn't know what the heck was going on with that guy. He still glared at her for 'leading him on'. Which made no sense to her. At all. But, then again, she had never really understood Russia's ways.

Unfortunately, for America, because she took the time to nod to Canada, she failed to notice when he opened the door. Therefore, when she started to walk again, there was now an obstacle in her way that had not been there before. And, her face collided with it. Letting out a painful 'thud' sound and a gasp from Canada. She careened into the floor, and let out a startled cry.

"Oh gosh, America, are you okay?!" Canada said frantically, moving toward her side.

"Yeah," She muttered, clutching her face. That was going to leave a mark. She was seeing stars out of one eye. Damn. Her head was hard, but her eye socket could only take so much of a hit.

This was going to bruise.

Oh well, she'd had and handled far worse than a door to the face before.

"I'm sorry," Canada apologized, "I didn't mean to it was-"

"Canada," America soothed, smiling up at him through the throbbing. "I know."

He seemed relieved, but still concerned.

"It was me, I should have paid more attention."

"Well, you do go getting yourself into trouble," Canada teased lightly. "Let's not do this again."

Just as he finished those words, a slightly winded, South Korea came running to the door. His brown eyes were wide and he looked about. The scene he saw before him, was a not a good one. America, with her adorable glasses askew, clutched at her eye and cheek. Canada stood over her, looking down at her.

South Korea instantly bristled.

"What happened? Are you alright?" He demanded, as he glanced between the pair with suspicion.

America winced, Canada paled. South Korea puffed up a bit.

"I'm fine," the female nation said, smiling at him.

"It was my fault," America laughed brightly, "I uh...I..."

"She ran into a door," Canada supplied, glancing to America.

The Star-spangled nation blinked. Feeling embarrassed by the whole event.

"Yeah," she admitted with a sheepish smile, "I ran into a door."

South Korea did not believe that pack of lies for an instant! He narrowed his sweet brown eyes in fury at Canada. The Bastard had started beating America! Who did he think he was?! South Korea was about to wallop his punk ass, taking a moment to role up his sleeves so that blood would not get on his expensive shirt. However, first, he did not want America to witness the savagery.

She was a lady after all.

"Canada," South Korea bit out, with just barely restrained civility, "would you come with me to get America some ice?"

The Northern nation blinked, ducking his head slightly.

"Sh-shouldn't one of us stay with her?"

There was no way on this Earth, or any depiction or interpretation of heaven or hell, that South Korea was going to leave the Star-Spangled nation alone with this...beast. His hands tightened into fists.

"I'll be fine," America said amicably. "Thank you South Korea, Ice would be great right now."

Canada smiled at her softly. South Korea nearly snarled at him to back away. Trying to butter up the nation he was exploiting and abusing! How dare this scum?!

OoOoOo

The Philippines found her next, as he was strolling along down the corridor, a happy and go lucky look about him. He was a kind-hearted and joyful nation. He always had a true zeal for life. It was part of the reason he and America got along so well. She was slightly crazy, and frankly he rather enjoyed her brand of insanity. He caught sight of her as she was moving to stand.

She moaned gently, cupping her face.

"What happened to you?" The male nation asked, as he drew closer.

"I hit a door with my face. The attack proved ineffective," she quipped.

"You have to be careful," he chided softly, as he moved to help her up. "Otherwise you might hurt the baby."

She stared at him blankly.

"What baby?"

The Philippines gave her a confused glance.

"Are... are you not pregnant?" He asked, quietly and blushing slightly. This could turn out very, very bad.

America blinked at him, and opened her mouth. Once, then five more times. No words seemed to come out. Suddenly her face twisted into an indignant look.

"Are you calling me fat!?" She demanded in a bellow, that shook the windows. "I am not pregnant!"

The male nation cautiously raised his hands and started to back slowly away.

"Oh, uh... is that so?"

Her sky-blue eyes turned murderous behind Texas as her aura seemed to scream a promise of 'pain'. She started forward, when a single sentence stopped her dead in her tracts.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol."

America froze, her blood chilled form the fire of fury, and she turned her head around.

Russia was standing there, violet eyes wide and an eerie smile on his face. His scarf seemed to dance and twist in excitement. Ugh... weird. But the smile turned to a frown.

"Did he hit you?" He demanded gruffly. His gaze narrowed on the Philippines.

America glanced between him and Russia.

"What the hell is going on here?!" She demanded as she threw her hands up in the air.

Other countries were bat-shit crazy!

"Is that a 'yes'?" Russia asked, taking a large step forward.

"No!" America snapped, blushing slightly. "And even if he did hit me, which he didn't, I can take care of my damn self!"

The Slavic nation leered at her.

"Oh Da, just say 'Russia help'." He taunted.

America glared at him, and then at the Philippines.

"I never said that."

"She did."

"Did not!"

"So, you are not pregnant?" The Philippines confirmed, looking ill-at-ease.

"Who the hell said I was pregnant?!" America hissed out, like an angry cat.

The Philippines paled.

"Well... everyone."

"WHAT?!"

Russia chuckled. He seemed upset by her announcement, for some odd reason. America didn't know what was going on in his head. Therefore, she had no idea he was furious at England, who he believed had tried to prevent him from being with America.