I decide to close the bakery really early on Christmas Day and all my employees seem happy about this. I wish them all a merry Christmas and send them home with a loaf of bread that I baked myself and a bag full of pastries. Delly leans in to kiss my cheek and tells me I'm wonderful. I flush and shake my head.
"If anyone would like to come over for Christmas dinner, Katniss and I would love to have you. We'll be eating around 6."
"That sounds lovely, Peeta, thank you," Cora says with a smile as Dane helps her with her coat.
"I'm sure my mom would appreciate it…" Rory begins, before he trails off and bites his lip. I know Hazelle has been having a rough time with the cold winter and keeping her children fed. Rory working here definitely helps and Vick is trying to find work, though I still think he's a little young. Apparently Gale has been sending money and Hazelle is refusing it. I don't know all the details but I know Rory is just frustrated with his family in general.
"I don't agree with Gale leaving again but I appreciate that he is sending us money and mom just needs to accept it and stop being so stubborn," he told me in a huff one day.
I clap him on the shoulder and smile.
"Bring your whole family, Rory. Katniss has something special for Posy." Rory smiles at this.
"We'll be there. Thanks, Peeta. And thank Katniss too."
We all say goodbye and I start home. The bitterly cold air bites me as I walk but my bad leg, in particular, is throbbing. By the time I make it to Victor's Village, my teeth are clenched in pain. Haymitch waves to me (or lifts his flask, more like) from his porch and I wonder how the hell he can sit outside in just a t-shirt and shorts. Crazy old man.
I stomp off the snow before I make my way inside and immediately sigh at the warmth of the house. Katniss would never allow herself to be called a housewife but she does an amazing job with keeping the house cozy while I'm gone. I love coming home to a roaring fire in the fireplace and my wife presenting me with hot chocolate.
I hang up my things and pull off my boots as I call her name. She comes around the corner, looking flushed and slightly harried.
"Hey. You're home early."
"Yeah. I decided to close early and give my employees the day off. I invited everyone to dinner, like you said." She nods and bites her lip.
"I was just, um…I was just going over to the orphanage for a little bit." I nod.
"Ok."
"Do you, um…want to join me?" I look at her quickly to make sure I've heard her correctly. She's never asked me to go to the orphanage with her before. Aside from our surprise last week, I have never stepped foot inside the building. I only knew about Lara because Katniss talks about her all the time. It's those moments when I have to hope that she will change her mind about children one day. She seems so passionate and so loving when it comes to those kids, I can't imagine her not having one of her own.
"I'd love to," I tell her with a smile and she returns it.
"Good. I'll just finish getting dressed." I nod and pull my scarf and coat from the hanger where I had just hung them up. I'm pulling on my boots when she comes back in. She looks a vision in a bright red coat with her dark hair pulled up on top of her head, and a black scarf wrapped around her neck. I pull her to me and she looks surprised.
"How is it that you can always look so perfect, no matter what you're wearing?"
"Cause you're just a sappy romantic who loves me no matter what," she says teasingly and I smile before I kiss her.
"You're correct about that. You ready?" She grasps my hand and we walk back out into the cold. She starts to tug me up the hill but I bite my lip.
"Actually, why don't we take the cart? It'll be faster."
"It's just a couple of miles up the hill." I don't want to tell her how much pain I'm in. I don't want her to worry. So I nod and follow her up the hill, determined to keep my mind off my leg.
When we reach the orphanage, Katniss tugs me inside and calls for the woman in charge. A kindly old woman comes around the corner and looks surprised.
"Why Katniss! What a nice surprise. How are you, dear?" She kisses Katniss's cheek like they do in the Capitol but Katniss only smiles.
"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Berthen! This is my husband, Peeta." I shake her hand and try to ignore how my heart flutters at hearing those words. I absolutely love to call her wife and Mrs. Mellark whenever I can but I don't hear her talk about me a whole lot. When she introduces me as her husband, I admit, sometimes I look around to see who she's talking about. I have to remind myself it's so real and I'm actually with this amazing woman.
"Peeta, it's so wonderful to finally meet you. I was rooting for you both, you know. In the Games. I just knew you would bring each other home." I shift uncomfortably. Katniss is silent but she still has a smile. She's changed more than I thought. Usually talk of the games makes her angry and quiet. She just shakes her head.
"You're sweet, Mrs. Berthen. Is Helga around?"
"Oh she should be getting lunch ready. You can go down to the kitchens, if you like. I know you know the way."
"Thank you." She takes my hand again and I follow her down the long hallways.
She leads me into a giant kitchen and calls out Helga's name. I glance to the side and suck in a breath as I see two of my family's ovens against the wall. She had asked my permission of course and I agreed that I only needed one and the rest of them should be new. She had this great idea to fix them up and donate them to the orphanage, since they were so old anyway. But seeing them in a different building was a bit of a shock.
"Peeta?" I shake myself and blink. Katniss is watching me warily and I know she must have been calling my name.
"Sorry. In a daze. You must be Helga. I'm Peeta." I shake the woman's hand and she grins. I also notice she's blushing, which I'm baffled about.
"I know. I've heard so much about you. It's such an honor to finally meet you." She giggles and Katniss gives her a strange look. Clearing my throat, I look around.
"You have, uh, a really nice place here."
"Yes, well we have Katniss to thank for that! After the war, it was in terrible conditions even though it mostly survived the bombing. Katniss asked President Paylor to rebuild and she petitioned to have registered nurses on staff, in case anything happened. We also added a playground and an extra bathroom. Everything you see is all her doing." I'd known that Katniss was responsible for the rebuilding but I hadn't realized just how much that meant. This woman is just too good. I pull her to me and kiss her hair, forcing myself to show a little decorum in front of other people. Katniss blushes but is smiling so I know she's pleased.
"Can we do anything to help with lunch?"
"Oh no sweetie, I've got it covered," Helga says while waving a hand. "You can join us if you like. We're having burgers with macaroni and cheese." Katniss and I tried macaroni and cheese when we were in 11. It was good but it's considered a peasant food. I guess I'm not surprised that 12 still isn't eating Capitol food, which I'm not too disappointed about.
"So they're in the dining hall?"
"Most are. We haven't made the announcement yet." Katniss nods and takes my hand again. I follow her into the dining hall where a bunch of the younger kids are already waiting for their meal. I smile around at them, having had them on my lap and heard their greatest Christmas wishes. I still can't believe Katniss put all of that together. I know she had help but when she told me of her plan, it struck me just amazing she was. Is.
I squeeze her hand and she turns her head to smile at me.
"Kitty-Kat!" I hear a little voice yell and hear Katniss giggle. I've only heard her laugh like this a few times in my life and I love it when she does. She releases my hand and scoops up the little girl into her arms.
"Merry Christmas, Lara!"
"Merry Christmas! I was hoping you would come back! Do you want to see what Santa brought me?" She catches my eye and grins as she nods her head.
"Show me." She runs back to her seat and brings back the doll we gave her.
"Isn't she beautiful?"
"My goodness, Lara, she is! You have to take really good care of her, alright?"
"I will! I'm her mommy! I won't let anything happen to her." Katniss looks surprised and I swear I see tears in her eyes. I put my hand on her back and she jumps slightly.
"Kitty-Kat. Who's that?" I notice Lara looking at me, her doll up in front of her face as if she's hiding.
"Lara this is Peeta. He helped Santa make all those special toys you all got the other day." Lara lowers her doll and stares at me with wide blue eyes.
"You know Santa?" I have to smile. This kid is too precious. I kneel in front of her.
"I do, Lara. He told me what a good girl you've been. Do you like your doll?"
"I love her," she says in a whisper. "Thank him for me, ok? Next time you see him?"
"I will," I assure her. She nods and climbs into Katniss's lap. She laughs as she has to stretch her legs in front of her on the floor and I hear an older kid offer her a chair. She smiles and waves it aside.
"Kitty-Kat, is Peeta your boyfriend?" Katniss and I both laugh.
"He's my husband, Lara. We just got married last month."
"You did," she gushes. "What did your dress look like? Did he give you a ring?" Katniss throws her head back and laughs. It's both amazing and painful to watch this right now. All I can see is Katniss laughing with our daughter. And the fact that Lara looks a lot like me…well, it doesn't really help things. Katniss holds out her hand and Lara squeals and grabs her fingers.
"It's so pretty!" She looks up at me and turns very serious. "Don't hurt my Kitty-Kat, Peeta."
"I promise I will take very good care of your Kitty-Kat," I tell her with a straight face. Katniss grins over Lara's shoulder and I wink at her. Lara reminds me a lot of Prim and I wonder if Katniss thinks the same. She has to see the similarities too. I wonder if Lara is Merchant. Or if one of her parents was Merchant, like Prim's.
I hear a bell and the call for lunch and Katniss struggles to her feet. I help her up and we see Helga and a few other ladies with trays of plates.
"Ok children, everyone in your seats. Manners," she adds reminding us of Effie. Katniss giggles in my ear and we go to see if we can help them pass out food.
When I reach Lara's table, I pass them their plates and see more than a few kids staring at me in shock. I wonder who they recognize…Peeta Mellark, the Victor, or Santa Clause? I'd rather it be Santa, to be honest. These kids are too young to think about the Hunger Games. It just reminds me, again, what exactly Katniss and I sacrificed everything for. These innocent souls won't have to know the horror of a reaping.
I smile as I pass Lara her plate and she stands up in her chair to hug me. She sits back down and turns to the girl beside her.
"Mr. Peeta is really nice," she says loudly. I grin and shake my head as I continue handing out plates. When my tray is empty, I return to the kitchen and Helga takes it from me.
"Oh Peeta, you're so wonderful to help out like this."
"I know it means a lot to Katniss. Plus its great to see the district's kids like this. Happy and actually living rather than…well, how they used to live." She nods and touches my arm.
"I can't imagine…what all you've been through…I was always hoping you would win."
"Thanks," I say uncomfortably, shaking myself from her grasp. Katniss would be furious and heartbroken if she saw her friend flirting with me. And she comes into the room not even a second later. She wipes her brow and I know she didn't see anything.
"Only one table without food."
"I'll take care of it," I volunteer immediately, grabbing another tray and heading out. Katniss's hand brushes against my arm as I leave and I have to wonder if maybe she did see something.
We decide to leave while the kids are eating so Katniss says a quick goodbye to Lara (who stands up to hug me again) and Helga makes a quick announcement for everyone to say goodbye to both of us. Katniss waves and leads me back toward the front door. She chatters happily about the orphanage and the children as we make our way back towards Victor's Village.
Katniss notices how prominent my limp is as we are making our way into the house and she orders me into the bathtub. I'm reluctant because I know I need to help her with dinner but the pain in my leg makes me agree. She follows me into the bathroom and lights a few candles, kissing me quickly before I slide into the tub. While I soak, I feel the heat make the pain fade and I sigh deeply. I get up quickly, rubbing some salve into my aching stump, before I hurriedly dress and go downstairs to help with dinner.
Around a quarter to six, people start arriving and each one compliments us on how beautiful the house looks. I look at my wife, proudly, and assure them it's all her. She blushes pink but looks pleased.
Our first Christmas dinner is a wonderful success and something to be remembered. A bottle of wine is brought out and we each have a glass, except for Vick and Posy of course. When dinner is over, Katniss presents the Hawthorne children with stockings filled with candy and fresh fruit and little toys for Posy. Hazelle's eyes well with tears as she hugs her close.
"You are just the sweetest, Katniss," I overhear her say. "Peeta is lucky to have you."
"I'm the lucky one, I promise you," she says in response and my smile grows even bigger. When Hazelle turns away, I grab Katniss and yank her to my side. She smiles up at me and kisses me softly.
We exchange gifts and sip hot chocolate before Hazelle says it's time to leave. She thanks both of us and Posy gives us a tight hug. Vick still looks pretty tight-lipped when he talks to me but he shakes my hand and thanks me for my hospitality.
"I'm kind of surprised Gale didn't come home for Christmas," Katniss says to Hazelle uncertainly. Hazelle shakes her head.
"He's spending it with his girl's family." Katniss looks surprised and I watch her out of the corner of my eye.
"Oh! That's um…that's really great." Hazelle nods.
"He seems happy in 2, so I'm not going to drag him back here. Vick wants to go join him but he's still too young. Gale told him he can come with him and Rory got angry with Gale. They haven't spoken since."
"Both Hawthorne boys are just hotheaded. I'm sure they will come around, Hazelle," I hear Katniss say softly. Hazelle nods and hugs her again.
"Merry Christmas, Katniss." We wave them off and Cora and Dane are not far behind them. Riley and Jana and Delly and her brother are next, with Haymitch and Effie last. I nudge Katniss as I notice Haymitch's hand firmly planted on Effie's waist and her eyes widen. I hide a smile as I hug them both goodbye and wish them a merry Christmas.
After they're gone, Katniss turns back to me and her jaw drops.
"Haymitch and Effie?!" I chuckle in response.
"I don't think it's that unheard of. They've always had some sort of chemistry."
"Yeah, they hate each other."
"Hate is a strong word. And maybe it's just untapped attraction. It would be great for them to get together. Both of them are pretty lonely." She wraps herself in my arms and rests her cheek against my chest.
"Did you have a good Christmas," she asks tiredly. I kiss the top of her head.
"Our first Christmas as husband and wife. It was the best," I tell her honestly.
"I have one more gift for you." I pull her back and stare at her.
"Katniss, you've already given me more than enough!"
"Well, it's just one more," she shrugs. She leads me upstairs to my painting studio and gently pushes me in.
"Merry Christmas," she says softly. My knees are about to buckle.
My painting station, that is, my easel and all my palettes, have been completely transformed. She's bought me a beautiful wooden art station with an elaborate easel and lots of drawers and space for my paints and brushes. There's several wooden canisters to hold the brushes and pencils and on the floor, there's a couple of elegant frames so I can frame my next pieces. I scoop her into my arms and whirl her around, accidentally hitting her foot on the door. I drop her, both of us giggling like mad.
"Katniss, this is wonderful. Thank you so much!"
"I'm so glad you like it," she breathes against my lips. I run my fingers through her dark tresses and press up against her. She lets out a little moan when she feels my want for her and she hitches a leg around my waist, bringing our centers closer and making both of us moan. I sweep her off her feet and carry her into the bedroom. While she changes for bed, I light a few candles and dim the lights. She comes out of the bathroom in a silk robe, which I immediately learn is hiding only her skin. The way the flesh looks in the light of the fire makes me shiver. We quickly work on my clothes and I lower her to the sheets.
Afterwards, we're both panting and she has tiny droplets of sweat dripping down her neck onto her breasts. They look like tiny diamonds decorating her body and I lean in close to kiss her.
"Tell me what you're thinking," I breathe softly.
"Too many things," she tells me. "How happy you make me, how incredible I feel, here with you. How I wish Prim and my dad and Finnick and Cinna and so many others could be here to see us, now. How scared I am that this will all disappear if I blink my eyes. Just…too many thoughts running through my mind." I take her hand and kiss her palm.
"I love you," I tell her and the room is quiet for a moment.
"I love you too, Peeta," she finally says and she snuggles up to me. "More than I ever thought possible. I didn't know I could love someone so much. Especially after losing the one person I loved above all else. I didn't think I could ever love again. You made me live again. You brought love back into my heart." I cup her cheeks and kiss her slowly and softly and we make love again, gently, gazing into each other's eyes.
We lie awake, talking, our hearts beating too fast to try to sleep. Her fingers curl around mine and she stretches, tossing her head back and making me want her again. She leans over to kiss me before she jumps to her feet and runs to the bathroom.
I wait for her to come back and finally, I hear the bathroom door again. She's washed herself off and changed into a silk camisole and a pair of lace panties that don't really hide much (not that I'm complaining or anything). I raise my head up to see why she's frozen in the middle of the room.
She's staring into the long mirror I have behind my door. I see her hand come up to touch her face, then trail down her chest to her scarred thighs. I watch her bite her lip as she seems to examine her own body for the first time. Very slowly, I move from the bed and walk up behind her. She looks up and her eyes meet mine in the mirror. I wrap both arms around her, one hand palming her breast while the other rests on her hip. I softly kiss her neck and move her hair to one side so I can lick a trail from her neck to her shoulder. Both my hands slip under her shirt and lift it high so I can see her breasts. I palm them gently, weighing them in my hand. I see her bite her lip when I tweak her nipple and I watch how they harden under my touch. The light catches my wedding ring as I trail my hand down her slender stomach and stop at her panty line. Her breath hitches as my hand moves slower and slower, disappearing into her panties and merely resting above her center. She tries to look away so I remove my hand from her breast. Her eyes fly back to mine and I hold her gaze as I bring my hand back to her mound. No words are needed right now. I silently tell her to watch us while the hand in her underwear drifts even lower. My eyes lock on my hand in the mirror, how it looks as I rub against her. I swirl my fingers around her clit before I slowly push them inside her and hear her gasp loudly. She bucks her hips, aiming for more. So I give it to her. I pull her panties down her legs and she kicks them aside. Watching us in the mirror, my fingers disappear inside her and she pushes back against my hardened desire. My fingers increase in pace and I watch her reflection shudder and pant.
This has to be the most erotic thing we have ever done. I watch her as she flies apart, my eyes never leaving her reflection's flushed face. She tries to turn toward me but I shake my head and keep her still. I fling her cami aside so my fingers can rake across her flesh completely and she reaches back and her nails scratch lightly across my thighs. I bend my knees slightly so I can push into her, finding it so easy to enter her, and I hold her hips steady while I find my rhythm.
Her eyes find mine as I take her slowly. She brings one of my hands back down to her wet folds and my fingers circle her clit. She reaches up and grabs a fistful of my hair, tilting her head back so that our cheeks are touching. Our eyes never stray. She watches me and I watch her as we move together. This spell that we're under never breaks.
When I feel her clench around me and I'm gasping my release, I wrap my arms around her stomach and hold her against my chest. She closes her eyes for a moment and I kiss her cheek. When she opens her eyes again, her reflection smiles and she shakes her head.
"What just happened?"
"I made you see how perfect this is," I say lightly. "How you hold the power to make me come undone. How perfectly we move together. I made you see how beautiful you really are." She turns and I let her, accepting her kisses as she claims my lips as her own. I pull her back to the bed and fall back down, bringing her with me. I pull the sheets over us and in minutes, we are lost in our dreams.
I'm awoken by a stabbing pain in my leg and I accidentally cry out. Katniss is awake and sitting up, watching me with concern etched all over her face.
"What's the matter?"
"I don't know, I just…my leg really hurts," I wince as it happens again and I fling the covers aside, not caring at all about my current state of dress. She moves to the side and pulls what's left of my leg into her lap. Her fingers make gentle patterns over the skin and she frowns.
"It's really red and swollen, Peeta. Has this been bothering you for long?"
"I noticed a little pain yesterday but I didn't think anything of it," I squeeze my eyes shut, as the pain just seems to be getting worse. Katniss jumps out of the bed and when she comes back, I see she is holding the jar of healing salve from the Capitol.
"Let's put a little of this on and see how it feels. You obviously can't walk around right now which means you need to call into the Bakery."
"Katniss, I'm the owner. I can't keep calling in."
"You have to, Peeta," she says sternly. "I'll call them for you."
"Wait," but she's already gone and I hear her going into the study. I huff and lean against the bed, feeling irritated. I reach for my prosthetic but she comes back into the room and yells, "Peeta!"
"What," I grumble. "I'm not staying in bed all day. There's too much work to be done."
"Damn it boy, don't you run yourself into the ground again," she says sharply. "Rory says he will open the bakery and Dane will just stay a little later. Don't worry. Now lay back and let me put some of this on your leg."
"Katniss, I'm fine-"
"The look of pain on your face says you are not fine," she says shrilly. "Now shut up and let me help!" I fall silent as she unscrews the lid and scoops some of the salve onto her fingers. She gently massages it into my skin and I instantly relax.
"That's better."
"Where does it hurt?" Her voice is softer and almost fearful. I wave my hand over my stump.
"I know it sounds crazy but I feel tingling and shooting pains all over and even…where it used to be." She looks up at me, bewildered.
"Come again?" I roll my eyes. I sound like an idiot right now.
"Never mind. It just hurts, alright? But that is helping." I add, much softer. I need to stop snapping at her. She's my wife and she's just trying to help. Her fingers work their magic and I feel the pain start to fade. Now it's just a dull ache. She watches my face as she works.
"Better?"
"Much. It's not so sharp anymore. Thank you, Katniss." She nods and puts the jar aside.
"Stay in bed and I'll make us breakfast." Before I can protest, she kisses me and grabs a robe as she hurries out of the room. I sigh and relax against the pillows, wincing when I feel the pain in my leg again.
She comes back up with a tray of food for both of us. She's made eggs the way I like them and brings up cheesebuns and toast. An apple and a glass of orange juice sits beside the plate and I glance at her.
"I'm not a sick little kid."
"You're a stubborn ass, is what you are," she snaps and I huff. This usually happens when one or both of us is suffering. We take it out on each other. But I don't want it to reach the level we reached before our wedding. We weren't talking, we were snapping at each other, and inadvertently, hurting each other. I sigh and reach for her hand.
"I'm sorry," I say softly. "You're right, I'm being an ass. Here you are helping me and I am just snapping at you and making things worse. Forgive me?" She nods and squeezes my hand.
"Forgiven. Eat your breakfast. I'm going to shower." Before she leaves, I kiss her palm and the way her face softens lets me know we are alright. When she leaves, I massage my stump with my knuckles and settle back into the blankets. I guess it's the cold weather making the pain worse but I haven't felt this since I first got home from the Capitol.
I remember that awful conversation Katniss and me had on the train, when she told me her feelings weren't real, and I had to walk into the station, hand in hand with her. My family came to the station to greet me and Ryean had teased me, calling me Stumpy. Dad had snapped at him, getting really upset but I laughed it off. My brothers asked to see my new leg and I lifted my pants leg, showing them what the Capitol had created. I hated it. I never wanted to be a piece in their games and when they gave me a new leg, it was like they were tagging me as their creation.
For all intents and purposes, I was already a Capitol mutt. Funny, my worst fear when they started to poison my mind against Katniss was that she was what they said she was: a mutt. And I was essentially already one.
I shake myself and look around the room. My eyes fall on the picture of the two of us from the bakery and I lift it up so I can study it better. The way she is looking at me in the picture- the way her eyes light up with love- can't be exaggerated. I put it back beside the locket I gave her and I sigh. It hasn't even been that long since we found each other again but damn it, can't the world leave us alone and let us just be happy?
Hope you guys enjoy this long one! My Easter gift to everyone! If I get a chance to post while my mom is here I will, but I doubt it! So bear with me and please don't abandon me! I'll see you guys in a week! :) XOXOXO