Your Herald! Your Inquisitor!
20 Wintermarch, 9:41 Dragon
It's official. I am the Inquisitor. Nugshit! I never wanted this! I never wanted to be the Champion of Kirkwall, either. But this situation is so much worse. This anchor won't just go away and neither will Corypheus. I need to kill Corypheus once and for all. But who knows - if that is even possible, how long it will take? Will I even survive it? Is he like an Archdemon?
I want to see my daughters and sons. I miss holding my sweet Lily. Taking long walks with Siobhan talking about life. Working with Cricket as he readies himself for University. Watching my eldest become a Knight. Being apart from them is killing me!
Damn this fucking anchor. Damn me and my conscience for making me feel responsible for the mages who were executed in Kirkwall. If I had never stepped foot in Haven, someone else would have heard the Divine's call for help and they would be the inquisitor.
DAMN YOU CORYPHEUS!
21 Wintermarch
9:41
Last night was kind of rough. I don't believe I have ever had to dodge a flying journal and empty ink-pot. After the ink pot shattered against the stone wall behind me, Marnie yelled and then began sobbing. I quickly picked her up from her desk chair laid her down on the bed. I followed and held Marnie while she cried.
When she was able to speak, she told me how lost she felt. How finally having a stable home and a family, living without fear of being discovered and having to move was such a precious gift that to have it suddenly ripped away was breaking her heart. My heart ached for her, for once again being forced put her life on the line.
She told me how unfair it was to me and our family. How sorry she was for going to the conclave. That it was her fault for allowing her conscience to be manipulated. That she would understand if I never forgave her, and if I decided to leave her to find a new life with our children.
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, I grasped her shoulder tightly and made her look at me and listen. I told her there was nothing to forgive. That her feeling responsible for the mages in Kirkwall, no matter how misplaced that feeling was, is part of who Marnie Theirin is: a woman with more heart and soul than anyone I've known. I told her that neither Walter, Siobhan, or Cricket blame her for any of this. In fact, they are quite proud of their mom. I also told her that she is the only one I ever want to share my life with. That we would get through this, together.
I think she heard me because her breathing started to even out. Then she fell asleep in my arms. I laid back still holding her and also promptly fell asleep.
I awoke just after dawn. Marnie was sound asleep. I needed to talk to Cullen, who thankfully is also an early riser. For some reason, I feel more comfortable talking to him about Marnie than I feel with Varric. I love Varric like a brother, but Cullen is better at understanding Marnie.
As usual, Cullen was already at his desk. Next to him was a neatly stacked pile of parchment. I looked over at my desk and saw a similar stack, the same size as Cullen's. I knew that if I wasn't here, Cullen's pile would be twice as high.
Anyway,
Cullen heard me enter and when he looked up he knew something was wrong. As you know, I'm not good at the stoic-expressionless-calm thing. He walked over to me, but before he could even ask I told him about Marnie's breakdown last night. I told him about Marnie blaming herself for being at the conclave and for splitting up our family. Cullen smiled ruefully and said that he wondered when this would happen. He too believes that she wouldn't be Marnie if she didn't feel that way. Sometimes I forget that Marnie was in Kirkwall for a year before I got there. Cullen and Varric already knew her quite well by then.
Cullen asked if we'd considered bringing Siobhan, Lily, and Cricket to Skyhold? I was dumbstruck (I know, I know, not an uncommon occurrence). It never occurred to either of us to bring the kids here.
Cullen saw my obvious shock and said, "Alistair, Skyhold is a fortress. They would have more space and would be safer here than in Denerim, and you and Marnie are here."
All I could do was nod and smile. Cullen said that he'd talk to Josephine, Leliana, and Cassandra. He figured if the idea came from Leliana, Marnie would be far less likely to dismiss it out of hand.
22 Wintermarch, 9:41 Dragon
Leliana came to me today and asked if I'd considered bringing Siobhan, Cricket and Lily to live at Skyhold. When I ask what she meant, she pointed out that Skyhold would provide an extra level of safety. If they are here, it is less likely for someone to think of kidnapping them to try to manipulate the Inquisitor. Stunned, I asked her if this was a real threat? Does anyone know where the children are? Or even if I have children? Leliana pointed out that my being the former of Champion of Kirkwall virtually ensured the public had information about my children. I agreed and then Leliana pointed out that it would better that they were here before we knew of any credible threat.
I thanked her and said that I needed to talk to Ali first.
23 Wintermarch
9:41
Guess what? Yes, I know that if I waited for you to guess, this would be my last journal entry.
Anyway.
Marnie came and told me that Leliana had spoken to her about having Siobhan, Cricket and Lily live at Skyhold with us, that they would be safer here in case anyone wanted to kidnap them to manipulate the inquisition. She asked me if I would be okay with that?
Naturally I said yes.
Thank you, Cullen and Leliana.
~oOOo~
"I never had any idea you'd already spoken to Cullen about that. You did a good job at looking surprised." Marnie chuckled.
"Well, looking surprised and clueless is my specialty."
"Ali, it is not!" Marnie shook her head. "I have to admit, Cullen was right. I might have dismissed it out of hand if Leliana hadn't proposed it to me as a safety issue."
Alistair smiled. "When Lily ran into your arms, the look of pure bliss on your face was something I will always remember. You were so worried she would be resentful or otherwise unhappy with you."
"I didn't realize just how anxious I was about that until I saw her smile."
"I'm glad that they were able to build out Lily's room." Alistair said.
"I am glad we were able to use the two unused guard towers on either side of Cullen's for Siobhan and Cricket."
"Indeed, although you didn't like them being so far away at first, but Siobhan loved being closer the stables. Cricket loved being closer to the Mage's tower."
Marnie smirked. "That wasn't the only thing Siobhan liked about the location of her quarters."
Alistair rolled his eyes, then looked at the remaining journals. "We didn't journal much once we settled in at Skyhold, did we?"
"No. Every time I came back to Skyhold from what felt like every nook and cranny of southern Thedas I wanted to spend as much time as I could you and the kids, and at night I certainly wasn't going to spend my evenings writing."
Alistair grinned, "Yes, we had better things to do, all of them involving you naked in my arms, although not always in bed."
Marnie blushed scarlet and then said, "You journaled though."
"Yes, but never when you were at Skyhold. Usually I journaled because I needed to work something out in my head. And of course, the inevitable "I shit you not, this really happened" entries."
Marnie laughed. "I do recall journaling about the day you and Cullen pretended to be darkspawn."
~oOOo~
23 Guardian, 9:41 Dragon
Cullen and Alistair decided that the company needed to learn to fight against darkspawn, without the help of magic. Between the two of them they decided to give the troops an idea of just how tough the non-magic wielding darkspawn could be so they decided to pretend to be darkspawn (Ali would alpha to Cullen).
They decided that they wanted to make this as real an experience as possible so they dressed up in cobbled armor typical of darkspawn and their swords and shield points were coated with a special potion that when it made contact with skin it would create a minor but noticeable irritation. This would simulate the potential for getting blight sickness.
If that wasn't enough, they also wanted to simulate the stench of darkspawn so the soldiers could learn how not to let it overwhelm them when fighting (neither one will own up to whose idea that was). Fiona was able to make something that really did smell like darkspawn and they coated their armor in it.
I have to admit it worked. In large part because Cullen and Ali are the most experienced and well-trained fighters and had fought more darkspawn—Ali of course with the most experience—than any of the Inquisition soldiers. They started with a group of four soldiers, who they beat handily. This drove the point home very quickly on just how tough darkspawn can be.
Siobhan, Cricket, and I watched from the battlements overlooking the training grounds because it was both the best view and it was upwind of Ali and Cullen.
I have to admit watching Ali fight always makes my insides melt and my mind go to all sorts of naughty places. Even though he smelled revolting, my mind still went to those same naughty places, but they all included bathing.
~oOOo~
Alistair closed the journal looked at Marnie and grinned. "As I recall we did some exceptionally naughty things involving water that night."
Marnie looked at the empty bathtub. "Too bad we already bathed, tonight."
Alistair leaned close to his wife, his voice a husky whisper. "Then we will just have to have another. You go get ready. I'll bring up the bath water personally."
AN: Getting into the home stretch! Thanks to the readers and to my wonderful Beta ElyssaCousland!