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Two things before we get started. 1. HOLY CRAP I HAVE SURPASSED 81 FOLLOWERS. Seriously you guys are the best and I don't deserve you. 2. I will explain at the bottom why I had such a long and unannounced hiatus from this story.
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This is childish. Shadow scolded herself. She was still in her room, pacing back and forth. You've done this before, you can do this again.
She stopped in front of the door and set her hand on the handle, bracing herself to open it. It's simple. Swallow your pride; it never got you anywhere anyway. It's simple.
But the hand didn't budge when she willed herself to open it. Shadow let out a frustrated cry and resumed pacing; trying to play out how the scene will go in her mind. If the others at the mansion accepted it these people will too. It's simple. It's simple!
No matter how much she chanted that in her head it just wouldn't go through until she finally resigned to sitting on the bed, blowing some black strands out of her face. Why was apologizing so hard?
The subtle tickle of magic close by made goose bumps form on her arms. Right as she looked up to the door there was a hesitant knock, she knew who it was even before the girl opened it at "Come in."
"Um, hey." Zatana, greeted, doing her best to be cordial and to not let it seem forced. Yes, she was going to try and make an effort to be nice, but that didn't mean that it wasn't any less awkward. "So, we're going to watch Pacific Rim… it just arrived on Netflix, and were wondering if you wanted to join?"
"I thought that was already on Netflix?" It came out a lot harsher than Shadow meant and she swore inside when Zatana glanced away and pressed her lips together.
"Well you don't have to if you don't want to…" She had started edging her way out the door.
Shadow got of the bed and took a couple of hurried steps toward her. "Neet, I did not mean- well I…" She fumbled for a moment, but, curious, Zatana leaned in further. Taking a calming breath Shadow finished quietly. "I would, love, to join everyone for a movie."
Zatana blinked and blurted a "Really?" Before composing herself and opening the door all the way. "Well, I- that's great. We made plenty of popcorn." Zatana gave her a warm genuine, smile. "Right this way."
Attempting to keep the heat from rising to her face Shadow nodded and murmured a spaseeba [1] as she passed Zatana.
Zatana didn't know what that meant but took it as a good sign and followed Shadow back to the living room.
"Hey Shadow!" Robin waved, welcoming her enthusiastically from where he was sitting on floor, surrounded by pillows. "We saved you a spot."
On the couch above him was Artemis and Wally, both curled up next to each other, on the sofa to the left were M'Gann and Conner, who were also very close to each other, and Kaldur sat on the floor by Rocket who had arrived; then Zatana went and sat next to Robin on the floor. Each group had their own bowl of popcorn and looked quite comfortable.
That's when it hit Shadow that they were all paired up. An equal ratio of male to female, she felt even more awkward then before.
"Well come on Shadow, sit down." M'Gann called from the couch, and Shadow realized that she was still standing in the door way, but made herself stay for a moment longer. Perfect time, just do it and get it out of the way. It. Is SIMPLE.
"I just wanted to say…" She spoke slower than usual and hated the way they all stared inquisitively at her. She took a steading breath before continuing. "That, I know that I am not the…easiest person to get along with and that I….haven't been the nicest person either so I…"
It dawned on the Team that Shadow was apologizing to them, and they listened even harder now to what she was going to say.
"Well, I've…been described as a…a douche," Her nose crinkled at the still unfamiliar word, and Wally choked down a snicker. "And that is what I have been to you guys so I just wanted to say that….I. Am. Sorry." She stood there for an uncomfortable minute waiting for their reaction.
Wally tossed some popcorn up in the air and caught it in his mouth, "Yeah, well, we've been douches too," He then grinned at her. "So it's not one-hundred-percent your fault."
Rocket blew air roughly through her lips, "I'm sorry too," She said without looking at Shadow and seemed to curl a bit more into herself. "I didn't mean to treat you so harshly."
Shadow wanted to respond with 'And I didn't mean to try and choke the life out of you.' But that would be a lie; she did try and choke the life out of her. So she settled for a nod and avoided looking her way.
Conner, after an encouraging prod from M'Gann gruffly gave his own apology. Robin just gave her a big smile and quick wink, to which she furrowed her brows at, and M'Gann basically flew off the sofa. "Oh we're all sorry Shadow. It was childish of us." Shadow desperately hoped that she wouldn't try and hug her, and as if picking up on her uneasiness, M'Gann didn't, but flew instead to grab a bowl of popcorn.
Artemis didn't meet her gaze, Shadow wondered why, but figured that not everyone would warm up so fast. Which is why she was surprised, albeit happy, that Rocket seemed to at least accept her apology. Kaldur was last to respond, wrapping up the whole thing. "We all behaved irrationally, letting the chaotic events cloud our judgments and emotions. The thing we need to be grateful for is that we are all safe and well." His smile was kind and Shadow felt immensely better at getting that weight off of her chest.
"Come have a seat," Robin told her and threw a pillow down between him and Kaldur. Shadow took it appreciatively and did her best to relax.
"I heard this movie kicks butt." Wally said through a mouthful of popcorn as M'Gann dimmed the lights, gave Shadow her own bowl, and resumed her seat by Conner. Robin hit play and the movie began.
Shadow had watched this with the other students at the mansion, but still watched merrily as the big robots fought the monsters. All in all she had a rather pleasant time, so when the movie ended and the lights came up, she was in the cheeriest mood she had been since she came here.
Wally whooped, "That was great. Think they're going to make another?"
"I hope so." Artemis answered him and gathered up their empty popcorn bowl to put in the kitchen.
"Do you think one day robots like that will exist?" Conner asked, lost in thought about the possibility. It seemed to concern him.
Robin looked at Conner and shrugged. "I don't know," He then stood and grabbed some pillows from the floor "But if they do, hopefully they'll be on our side."
"And if they aren't," Wally added, taking the pillow that was behind him. "We can fight them off!" He then swung the pillow, hitting Robin square in the face and causing him to stumble some.
"Wally!" Robin shouted but the speedster was already out the door, Shadow felt the wind swoosh past and her hair flew all around as he left. Robin snatched a pillow from the ground and took after him, leaping over Shadow who ducked to get out of the way.
Zatana rolled her eyes. "Typical boys, leaving the clean up to the girls."
"I'm still here." Conner said picking up a cushion and setting it on the couch.
"They are just excited." Aqualad spoke to Zatana, he then stood up and took the bowl from Rocket. "I shall take this to the kitchen."
Shadow thought she saw a blushing smile on Rocket, but then she turned her head and Shadow had to stand up to get out of the way of Aqualad. Not knowing what else to do she headed for the restroom down one of the halls.
"Artemis, you okay? You're zoning out over there." Zatana asked from where she sat just below the archer.
"Hm," Artemis snapped back to attention from fiddling with the strings of a pillow. She had been gazing off to where Robin and Wally had run off. "Oh yeah, I'm fine."
Zatana crossed her arms and gave her a dubious look, Artemis stared sternly back at her until her buzzing phone made her glance down at it. "Oh, I've got to go!"
"Go where?" Rocket asked, she still sat on one of the sofas.
"To, um, cross country tryouts." Artemis replied as she walked to the bathroom. "I have to join some sort of extracurricular activity and it seemed like the best one. But I need to use the bathroom before I leave."
She then walked hurriedly down the hallway. Rocket turned to Zatana, "Doesn't Gotham Academy have, like, every single extracurricular a kid could want?"
"Um…" Zatana shrugged. "I think so."
Rocket then turned her head to where Artemis disappeared down the hall. "Then why doesn't she do archery?"
M'Gann poked her head out form the kitchen door. "Maybe she doesn't want to give away her secret identity, and since she's really good at it, some people might get curious."
Rocket questioning 'hmph', but said no more and finally stood up. "Well, I got to go too. My mom worries enough about me as it is and it's getting late. See ya." She waved to Zatana and to the three who were still in the kitchen.
"Don't forget we have a mission tomorrow!" Zatana called after her.
"Trust me I won't!" Rocket responded, grinning at the thought of going on a mission. On the way out Wally dashed by her, tossing a quick fare well, Robin was not far behind.
Artemis exited the stall right as Shadow was washing her hands. Feeling awkward but knowing it needed to be said, Artemis looked down and played with the end of her hair before speaking. "Look, I'm…sorry for giving you a hard time. Truth is, I was just as bad at fitting in with the Team when I first joined. I should have been more understanding it was…pretty hypocritical of me." She lifted her head, waiting for a reply; Shadow dried her hands before turning towards her.
"You don't have to worry about it, its fine." Shadow gave the archer a small, insecure, smile which Artemis just as self-consciously returned.
A brief pause followed and they both tried to speak at once. "I had better-" "I need to-"
Each girl froze and Artemis let out a nervous laugh, "I'm going to wash my hands and leave."
Shadow did a quick nod before darting out.
Artemis looked at herself in the mirror before scrubbing soap on her skin. Why am I so bad at apologizing?
[1] Spa-see-ba means Thank You in Russian as far as I have gleaned from Google Translate so...don't quote me on that.
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Okay to start off, I believe that I mentioned I had a relative sick in the hospital last time, well that relative was my Dad and he passed away. I was closer to him than I was to anyone else on this Earth so seeing him took a pretty hard toll. Add to that the fact that I had to deal with other relatives at the funeral that I never wanted to see again (yes I know it sounds harsh but I have my reasons) and am still concerned about my older brother (who's lost in that he has no idea what he's going to do) and worried for my step-sister (who is 17 and is a hard core partier/slacker) that has been pretty stressful.
THEN over the summer I received a concussion that has been going on for FOUR months now. I'd like to say that I got it doing something cool like stopping a mugging or even a bar fight but no...I got it going down a water slide. Shaped like a toilet. This has prevented me form doing nearly everything I love like reading, writting!, exercise (which means no martial arts), and video games. Oh, yeah, then there's going back to school (which I eventually had to drop my higher level classes for on level ones). Combine all of that with not being able to any stress relieving activities coupled with the loss of a parent and worry for siblings, it had me sliding into depression and anxiety. You want to take a guess at what makes a concussion worse!? Stress, anxiety, and depression. My chiropractor called it the perfect storm.
I am seeing the chiropractor regularly and have even added massage therapy to help release my muscles which have added to the headaches. I am feeling much better as you can see by the fact that I've finally updated. I actually had this chapter written for a while and got ideas for the next ones, but just haven't been able to edit/write them yet.
(Ugh, I hate long author's notes) So, again ,sorry I haven't updated but I think you'll understand. I know I sound bitter through a lot of this but it has just been very frustrating for me. Leave any reviews/comments/questions/concerns/suggestions/constructive criticism if you like and I shall, hopefully, see you soon!
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