Then and Now

9 Kingsway, 9:41 Dragon

The hangovers have healed and everyone has gone home. I had no excuse to hold off any longer. I needed to take-on the problem I've been avoiding since Corypheus died.

Solas.

I needed to talk with Cole because he knows who it was that Solas saved and why Solas thought it was wrong, and if that is at all related to the damned Orb!

Over the time I have known Cole, we have developed an easy rapport, far more so than many of my inner circle or my advisors, save Cullen and Ali. Perhaps it's because I was raised by a mage, and had a sister who was a mage. or perhaps because Cullen, Ali and I know what a real abomination is like.

I'm glad Solas and I worked with Cole to forgive that Templar. Now he is more spirit than human, but he is more at peace. Even Varric reluctantly agrees, although he favored Cole confronting the Templar with a loaded Bianca. That may have been one of the few true arguments I have ever had with Varric.

There are times when I just visit with Cole and will talk with him at the Tavern, however when I want to talk with him about sensitive issues we meet at an out of the way section of the battlements.

As I waited for Cole, I tried to sort out my thoughts but it was very difficult. I felt like I was in the middle of an emotional maelstrom. After the trip to the Arbor Wilds, so much had happened, good and bad, in such a short span of time...For some reason, I suddenly remembered my conversation with Solas when we found Skyhold. I had asked him how he knew about this fortress and where to find it.

Solas has said, "Any fortress that has seen enough battle shines like a beacon for spirits drawn to death and struggle. The whispers of old memories carry thousands of such names on their breath, it could belong to another keep, seems an auspicious one, the words reached my dreaming mind."

"Was Skyhold the name they whispered, or did they whisper an elven name?"

"The name that came to me was Tarasyl'an Te'las the place where the sky was held back. Sky Hold."

At the time, I was so grateful that he'd led us here I never questioned what he'd said, and I had no reason to suspect Solas of dissembling. However, as I got to know Solas, I realized that a self-taught hedge-mage would never have the kind of depth and breadth of knowledge about the Fade and ancient Elven artifacts as he did.

Later, Morrigan confirmed my suspicions and said the Solas was more than he seemed, that his magic felt similar to her mother's, and that his power was mostly masked. After our trip to the Arbor Wilds I learned of Flemeth, Mythal, and the Evanuris. If Solas' magic felt similar to Flemeth's and Flemeth was Mythal, then Solas' magic felt similar to Mythal.

Suddenly, like a warm breeze, I felt Cole's presence. He sat on the ground next to me.

"Solas worries you."

"He does. I know he's far more powerful than he let on and I worry about what he's hiding. What did he do that that was supposed to save not to prove he was right?"

"He destroyed his world because the One Who Cared was killed by the One's Who Didn't. He grieves that loss deeply."

"You mean Mythal being killed by the Evanuris? Solas destroyed his world to save his people from the other Evanuris."

"Yes. Solas created that which holds the sky back."

I was stunned. "He created Skyhold? I mapped all the areas we found artifacts— the Western approach and such—they all strengthen the veil and they are all connected to Skyhold and to each other. Did he create the veil?" I knew the Evanuris were powerful mages. "Was that what he did to save his people?"

"Yes."

"But that was so long ago; why now?"

"He woke from the endless dream and the world changed; more was lost than he realized."

"I remembered Solas saying 'So much has been lost.' Was the Orb supposed to help him get his world back?"

"Yes. But his world and your world cannot both be."

I thought about that, and I felt faint...I understood; our worlds cannot exist together, it is either one or the other. "Thank you for your help, Cole"

"You thank me, but I made you hurt."

"No, you showed me the truth. The truth is what hurts, and the truth is what Solas hides. You aren't responsible for what Solas does."

"Commander Cullen…Siobhan keeps him from the darkness. He hurts less and smiles more. His dreams pain him less. His presence make Siobhan feel whole. They are like you and Prince Alistair…mates of the soul."

I smiled at that. "Cole, thank you for all you do and have done."

"Inquisitor?"

"Yes, Cole?"

"Compassion is where ever you are, because you are there."

~oOOo~

"We haven't seen Cole in a while, I hope he is alright."

Marnie smiled. "He is. He's a Spirit of Compassion, he needs to be where compassion is needed."

Alistair lifted Marnie's chin and looked in to her eyes. "It isn't that we don't need compassion, my love. It's that we already have compassion, because you are here."

~oOOo~

11 Kingsway, 9:41 Dragon

After my meeting with Cole, I called a meeting with all my advisors, as well as Bull. I told them everything Solas said about Skyhold, and what Cole told me.

I told them that many legends have a small grain of truth. "Fen'Harel is known as the trickster god. He fooled us. Who else has he fooled? Who will he need to fool, if he wants to screw with the Veil and he can't use the Orb? Who would he use as he used us?"

Cullen surmised that Solas would need to develop a Plan B, but to do so he must need information that he didn't have when the Orb was destroyed.

Leliana believed that he would need some kind of spy network. Bull agreed and mentioned that that if Solas needed spies, he wasn't going to find many humans "to do his bidding."

Alistair said, "He'll need elves as agents, and access to knowledge of the Fade. If he can get elven spies into Tevinter he could get both."

That's when Morrigan suggested, "seeding the garden" with a rumor, a warning of some kind that because of the Breach, the Dread wolf is awake and roams Thedas. She believes that if Solas tries to hire elves to do his bidding, he might find them more suspicious of what he offers.

Morrigan, Bull, and Leliana agreed to meet and discuss ways to spread that rumor. I don't want to be involved in that. I have to deal with the remaining rifts in Thedas.

15 Kingsway
9:41

Today, Marnie and I have been married for 10 years. So why am I writing in you? Well I'm waiting for Marnie.

But I'm getting ahead of myself…or really getting ahead of you…

Anyway.

Cullen and I decided that the rubble of that one battlement wall and stairs needed to be repaired. It had been put off, but it was beyond ridiculous that it had never been tended to.

The work had been done a month or two ago, but remains cordoned-off by "Order of the Commander." Skyhold is continuously under repair and if Cullen says something is off-limits, it's off-limits. However, in this case he is doing it to give me a chance to restore the now accessible tower room. Fortunately, the room wasn't as dilapidated as Cullen and I first feared.

Why am I restoring the room and what does it have to do with our Anniversary? Well, there is no town close to Skyhold, so unless we want to camp in Frostbacks, leaving Skyhold to celebrate our anniversary isn't practical.

Our quarters are private, but I'd rather be somewhere secluded– hence the renovation of the tower room. I've stocked it with firewood, food, drinks, and a large bath-tub. I have brought in enough water for two full baths (that took a lot of doing). Fresh bedding, a cozy bed, and a plush rug by the hearth.

The story is that we are spending our anniversary sequestered in our quarters. Leliana, Cullen, Siobhan, and my mum are the only ones who know where we really will be, and that unless Skyhold was under attack, we weren't to be disturbed.

I woke up very early this morning so I could slip out before anyone could see me leave. I left a note and a map on Marnie's night table. I came here to the tower and caught a few more hours of sleep. The note I left Marnie gave her specific instructions, such as when to leave (so she blends into the guard shift change). She should be here in a candle.

That's why I had time to write in you!

15 Kingsway, 9:41 Dragon

I woke up on the morning of our 10th anniversary to an empty bed, and was about to feel cross until I saw a note on my nightstand in Ali's handwriting. He wrote that Lily is having a sleep-over with her grandmother and to "Go to the closet for further instructions."

I went into my closet and saw an inquisition guard uniform and cloak, to which another note was pinned: "At the start of nones put on the uniform and go to point A on the map, then put on the cloak, return to point B on the map, and proceed to the X."

Clearly, we were going into hiding. He timed my leaving our quarters to correspond to the guards' shift change. I looked at the map it and the X was the tower now accessible after the battlements and stairs had recently bene restored.

I spent time getting ready. I may have to dress like a soldier, but my smalls were definitely not regulation!

17 Kingsway, 9:41 Dragon

I wish I could write like Varric, because after the last day and a half I would write a friend-fiction so hot it would burn Izzy's fingers!

That map was perfect. Alistair was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed and a big grin on his face. With one finger, he beckoned me closer and when I was bout 5 feet from the door he picked me up, carried me bridle-style over the threshold and then gently kicked the door closed. By the time we got to the bed we were both undressed, except for my lacy smalls, and I was completely breathless. It was past sunset before we left the bed and had dinner in front of the hearth. From then on, we made love, breaking only to nap, eat, and bathe.

Ali's stamina is unbelievable. That is all I will say.

~oOOo~

"I was a bit sore the next day, but it was completely worth it!"

Alistair grinned. "I especially liked that we were out of earshot of the rest of Skyhold." He pitched his voice lower. "Hearing you scream my name…is one of my life's great pleasures."

As Marnie blushed, Alistair flipped through the final journal. "Neither of us journaled anything significant in 9:42."

"That's probably because we were dealing with all the remaining rifts. They all seemed to be in the all too many remote corners of nowhere."

"You did write when you came back from the Fallow Mire."

~oOOo~

3 Cloudreach, 9:43 Dragon

Finally. All. Gone. No more rifts. It's taken so damn long. The Fallow Mire was the last!

Before I left for The Mire, Josie told me that we had been getting "discrete" inquiries from Orlais about what the Inquisition would do once the rifts are were sealed.

We have kept our cards very close to the vest when it comes to the information we give Orlais, but my advisors and inner circle all know that it has always been my intention to disband the Inquisition. I came to that decision in Haven during my talks with Chancellor Roderick (who I still dearly miss) and Mother Giselle. My decision has never changed. A force like ours, beholden to no country, is a recipe for a political disaster.

We (my advisors and I) have had several plans for how to disband the Inquisition. Which one we were going to use depended upon what happened with Corypheus, and who became the next the Divine. Fortunately, Corypheus is really dead, and the Divine is one of our own…Cassandra.

The primary issue is what to do with our army–after talking with Cassandra (I can call her that my journal), Anora, and Fergus, l suggested that the army come under the Chantry, but stationed at the newly renovated fortress in West Hill, near Highever.

While the fort will remain the property of the Fereldan, the Chantry would see to its upkeep, and pay a modest token to the Crown. A Nevarran Divine, whose army is stationed on Ferelden-controlled soil, counter-balances the control Orlais had as the Chantry seat remains in Val Royeaux. At least that is what we all hope.

Divine Victoria will call an exalted council so I can formally, and publicly, disband the Inquisition.

1 Wintermarch,
9:44

A date for the Exalted Council (EC) has been finalized - the 1st of Bloomingtide! Over a year since Marnie sealed the last rift.

It's remarkable to me that the Chantry gets anything done! I have to say, though, it would have taken far longer without Cassandra as the Divine. Divine Victoria is willing to knock heads to get people moving. When she last visited Skyhold, she said that getting people to do things quickly was close to impossible. The one thing that worked was threatening to ban wearing masks in the Orlesian cathedrals. Very clever!

Anyway.

I will be representing Ferelden at the EC. The original choice was Teagan, but Kaitlyn is with child and Teagan does not want to leave her, nor can she make the trip. Somehow, Anora and Fergus see me as the next logical choice, irrespective of the fact that I'm married to the Inquisitor and am the Lieutenant-Commander of the army. While all of our plans for the Army and such have been signed-off on by the Divine, a representative from Orlais will be on the Council to argue that the Inquisition should be a part of the Orlesian army. It's a waste of time, but Orlais needs to save face by at least putting forward the argument. It's bad enough that the Council is being held at the Winter Palace

I have to agree with Loghain – yes, stunning, I know. Orlais can never be trusted leave Ferelden alone.

25 Cloudreach, 9:44 Dragon

I have been pushing for so long–sealing rifts and working to disband the Inquisition – that I only recently noticed that the mark is spreading. It covers all of my palm and is moving towards my fingers. I have wear a glove all the time, now.

I think the mark is using me as an energy source to fuel its spread, which would explain my increasing fatigue. It's not a pregnancy – the mark apparently has made me infertile, according to Dorian.

I am very glad that this will be over soon because I want to be with my family… I fear that the mark is killing me and I don't know how long I have.

19 Drakonis, 9:44 Dragon

As with so much over the past several years, the Exalted Council was much more complicated than we could have imagined. The Qunari decided that the Breach and what followed made it evident that Thedas could not be trusted to deal with mages. Their solution? Conquer Thedas. They were using a high dragon to produce unheard of amounts of Gaatlok, which they planned to deliver using Eluvians in order to kill all the leaders of Thedas. The hypocrisy of using magic (the Eluvians) to stop Thedas using magic was staggering…to me at least.

Fortunately, two things stood in the Qunari's way: The Inquisition and Solas. Not that Solas worked with us directly. It was a matter of convergent interests. Although we had vastly different reasons, Solas needed to get rid of the Qunari threat and I needed to get rid of the Qunari threat.

After more fighting and dealing with what Varric called "weird elven shit," I was able to confront Solas.

I greeted him as "Fen'Harel, God of Rebellion." He asked how long I'd known.

Instead of answering, I smirked at him, "How easy has it been finding elven agents to do your bidding?"

His nostrils flared. "Clearly harder than I thought."

I also told him that the whole hedge-mage, non-Dalish apostate disguise went out the window when he found the remains of the Orb.

He wants to tear down the veil to bring his people back, even though tearing down the veil will destroy Thedas.

I knew that the mark was killing me. I figured I had nothing to lose so I told him just what I thought about his plans, "You bloody hypocrite! You're calling the elves to you to do your bidding, but you've neglected to tell them that by helping you they will all die. You've tricked them into believing you are bringing back the creators. Instead you plan to bring back the very horrors you banished by creating the veil? By destroying our world to bring yours back, you are no better than the Evanuris!"

He surprised me though; he saved my life by remover the anchor. Of course, he needed to remove most of my forearm to do it. I asked him why he bothered to help me?

He said that the world was more interesting with me in it and found me to be a worthy adversary.

I never told him it would not be me hunting him down.

Rylan commands the Chantry's army. Cassandra does not want a Left Hand. She said if there is something that needs to be done, she wants it done – openly. She also doesn't want Leliana to relive what she went through with Justinia.

I however, managed a small coup. The spy network built by the Inquisition needs to be maintained and expanded, especially to deal with Solas. I didn't want it to belong to the Chantry. Orlais knows very little of the spy network the Inquisition built, and I'd like to keep it that way. Considering Skyhold belongs to Ferelden and is on Fereldan soil, if we have the spy network continue to run out of Skyhold then it will belong to and advise Ferelden, and while Divine Victoria lives she will work with the King and Queen.

Leliana will remain spymaster and Bull will be her second. Dorian will bring in selected allies from Tevinter. In addition to the spy network we have allies like Varric, the Viscount of Kirkwall; and Sebastian, Prince of Starkhaven. Together they are the ones who will find Solas and bring him down.

I just want what I have wanted for the last four years…to go home.

~oOOo~

"I never thought it would have taken so long to disband the Inquisition." Marnie shook her head.

"You created large, well connected, complex organization. That doesn't go away with a wave of a hand."

"I didn't create anything, Cullen, Cass, Josie, Leliana, and then you. You all are the ones who created and grew the Inquisition. I was never the first person on site, Leliana's scouts were. I didn't break down the walls of Adamant…"

Marnie cleared her throat and wiped her eyes before continuing. "Cullen commanded the army that did. The army also made it possible for me to access places that had been destroyed or otherwise rendered uninhabitable. Josie's contacts brought us influence and trade, you brought us the strength of the Fereldan Crown. All I did was go fight the bad guys."

Alistair laughed. "All you did was fight the bad guys? Love, you were the heart and soul of the Inquisition. All we did was provide you the support you never had in Kirkwall."

Marnie rolled her eyes as she closed the crate of journals and slid it to Alistair so he could seal it. it. Then she grabbed her cloak and stepped onto the newly accessible balcony. Alistair followed. He put his arms around her and Marnie leaned back against him.

"Cricket seems to have settled in at the Université, even if he is two years younger than his classmates."

Alistair smiled with pride. "He will outshine them all."

"Oh, I forgot, Walter wrote that he has asked Bann Perth's permission to court his daughter, Meghan."

Alistair chuckled. "At this rate, we are going to be the youngest grandparents in Thedas."

They were quiet for several minutes before Marnie said softly, "You know…sometimes I wake up and I can swear I can still feel my arm?"

"Dagna did a remarkable job with that brace."

"Indeed, or those crates would still be blocking this balcony."

Alistair pulled Marnie closer. "I'm glad that Dennet gave the farm to Siobhan and Cullen. They are raising horses and helping former templars get back on their feet. Though I still cannot believe Teagan is giving us the Grand Forest Villa. I'm not sure what we will do to fill all of the space given it's just the three of us."

Marnie nodded, "But we can raise horses there. I do look forward to moving into our own home, even if it's a villa. We've never had that. Ever since we got married, it was Mother's estate, Dennet's farm, Haven, then Skyhold. We finally get to have something that is uniquely ours."

Alistair chuckled. "It's only taken 13 years, but I guess we've been a little busy."

~FIN~

AN: Thank you to all who have read and reviewed this tale. Especially, thanks to my Beta, ElyssaCousland who really made this possible.