Holy WOW yall! I had 15 reviews by my first break this evening! Yall are SO amazing. Here it is then! Yes it is short but I will post the next chapter aka Peeta's chapter this weekend!

XOXOX

I am vaguely aware of someone slapping my cheek. Something heavy is pressing on my chest.

"Katniss," I hear my name. "Come on, breathe."

I am breathing. I can't speak, though. The pressure comes again.

"Breathe, dammit!" I gasp and immediately start to retch. I'm turned over onto my stomach and soothing hands are rubbing my back.

"Oh god, Katniss." I hear the pain in the voice and I wince. I finish retching salt water and lie down in the sand.

"Can you pick her up?"

"Yeah, is the car here yet? We need to get her to her mother."

"Are you sure it wouldn't be better to take her to the hospital?" No. I hate hospitals.

"Katniss hates hospitals. Her mother can help her."

"Alright. You are her husband, you get to decide where we take her. There it is."

"Did you grab a change of clothes for her like I asked?"

"They're in the car."

Someone lifts me and I am pressed against a warm chest. I register something cold against my leg, where the person holds me. And then I feel a kiss on my forehead.

"You're not leaving me yet," the voice says. "You promised, to love me and stand by my side, until the end of your days. And that's not today. So you need to wake up and look at your husband. You are my world, Katniss Mellark." I don't answer. I can't. I am silent as he holds me in his arms, and we ride to what I assume is my mother's house.

Mom knows I am faking it. She opens my eyes and checks me over.

"Peeta, she just needs rest. Why don't you go to the guest room and get some sleep?"

"I'm not leaving her."

"Then why don't you go make us some tea? And you can tell me what happened." I hear his heavy footsteps move away and I hear my mother sigh.

"Alright Katniss, he's gone. You can stop pretending now and tell me why you are scaring the wits out of your husband."

"Mom," I say with a scratchy voice. "I don't deserve him."

"Oh Katniss. That boy loves you. More than anyone has ever loved a person. I see it in his eyes."

"He's too good for me. I just want to be dead. Why am I not dead?"

"Because you have a life to live," she says firmly, as she pushes my hair out of my eyes. "And you need to start living it. Stop worrying about what might have been or what has happened in the past but start living for your future. Your future is right downstairs, terrified for you. He loves you Katniss and you need to understand that love will not just disappear. Nor will it be swayed by your rash decisions." She pats my arm and leaves the room. I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling tears stream down my cheeks. I feel a roughened hand wipe the tears away and I stiffen.

"You don't have to tell me right now," he says softly. "But someday I want to know what the hell went through your head tonight. You'll tell me and we'll laugh about it, about how stupid we were. But this isn't the end of us, Katniss. You feel like you don't deserve me and I feel like I don't deserve you. But you get angry with me whenever I try to tell you how you are feeling. So stop doing it with me. I love you and I can't believe that you just…I can't believe you, Katniss." More tears come at his words and he continues to wipe them away.

"Can you just do one thing for me?" Anything.

"Open your eyes and look at me." I hesitate, still pretending to be asleep. But finally, I obey and am met with tear-filled baby blues.

Like the ocean all over again. And I remember what I've done. I walked into the water, intending for it to take me away.

Away from Peeta.

What kind of horrible selfish person am I?

I reach up and swipe my thumb across his cheek, wiping away his tears. He holds my hand to his face and he weeps openly.

"I'm sorry," I whisper and he shakes his head.

"I don't want to hear it. I'm just dumbfounded that you actually thought…" he can't even finish a sentence, he is so upset. His body shakes with sobs as he presses kisses to my palm. "You promised," he whispers. "You promised me we would try to live happily, and to not let our past destroy us anymore. You made me a promise that you would never do something like this again. Katniss…I can't…I can't lose you…I can't…"

I whisper an 'I love you' before I am taken away by sleep.

I wake again to a sore throat and aches and pains in my chest. My hand is enclosed in something and I realize it is Peeta's larger hand. I start to say something when I hear someone else enter the room.

"How is she?"

"Mrs. Everdeen said she didn't swallow a lot of water and she just needs some rest. Did you and the other guard bring our bags here?"

"Yeah, everything is downstairs."

"Thanks Gale."

"What happened tonight, Peeta? Did she…did she try…?"

"No," Peeta says sharply. "No, she was going for a late night swim and the wave took her under. I found her swimming to shore."

Why is he lying? To protect me, I realize. Gale works for the government now. He could take me into custody and have me carted back to the Capitol. Not that I believe he would but Peeta doesn't want anyone to ever think badly of me.

Another reason he is just too good for this world.

"I'm going to make a call to Paylor and let her know Katniss is doing better."

"You told her?"

"Any time something happens to one of you, President Paylor wants to know. You two are still-"

"Yeah yeah, national symbols. I know."

"No you don't know," Gale's voice is raised and angry. "You don't know what you both mean to Panem. We say she has no idea of the effect she has but you don't either. Your safety and well-being mean everything to Paylor. And that includes your sanity."

"Well thanks for that Gale but I think my sanity was lost a long time ago, with the last president," Peeta says drily.

"You're better Peeta. And so is she. You're good for each other. You help each other. It was never a competition. It was always going to be you." I hear Peeta suck in a breath and Gale must leave the room. But then I hear his voice again and Peeta and I both hold our breaths.

"I'll keep her secret for you," he says softly. "By the way, you might want to find a key for those. I don't imagine handcuffs are too comfortable, especially when you find your wife having a late night swim." I hear Peeta gasp and Gale's footsteps on the stairs.

Peeta pushes a strand of hair out of my eyes and I feel his soft lips on my forehead. He lays his hand on my arm and I feel the cold feeling again. The handcuffs. He must have ripped himself free and come after me.

To find me in the water, drowning.

And I didn't even say goodbye.

Terrible. Horrible. Selfish. I find myself wishing for the Peeta who first came from the Capitol, who hated me on sight. He would have been flinging insults at me and telling me I should have died.

Instead, he is taking care of me, caressing me, decorating me with kisses and gentle touches.

As I drift back to sleep, I squeeze his hand and I swear I hear him whisper my name.