Chapter 3
Walking into the office at TM I see Gemma is already there. "Hey baby. I thought you had the day off?" She asks with a raised eyebrow. "I was but thought I could get more hours in?" I ask hoping she doesn't suspect anything. "Yeah, sure baby. I'll just go spend more time with Abel." She tells me grabbing her bag to leave but stops to say, "Looks like whoever you are avoiding has found you Sweetheart." Smirking before walking out the door. I look out the door to see Kozik walking to the office to clock in. I walk out to the clubhouse to get a bottled water while he makes his way to the garage before heading into the office to get my work done.
Closing time is finally here and Koz walks in like he always does. "Avoiding me Pretty Girl?" He asks sitting down on the couch. "Something like that." I say not looking at him. "Hey, are you okay?" He asks concerned. "Yeah. It's just, Koz, that shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lead you on like that." I tell him hoping he will let it go. "Do you regret it?" He asked, looking a little hurt. "That's the thing. I don't. It has been a long time since I have felt like that but, Koz, it can't happen again. I'm sorry." I tell him getting my things together and walking out of the office leaving him sitting there.
I pull into the driveway and walk into my house feeling like complete and utter shit. Not only did I break my number one rule of not getting involved with a Son but I had to pick the only one that has shown any interest. I can't deal with this. I walk into the kitchen and pour a glass of wine and walk out to the back deck. After a while, the sun has gone down and I have gone through an entire bottle of wine and still have no clue what I am doing. I light my burn pit and walk inside to get another bottle of wine when someone knocks on my door. Opening the door, I see Kozik standing there looking as lost as I feel. I step aside, letting him in, closing the door behind him. I lead him to the kitchen and get him a beer, walking out to the deck we both sit in deck chairs and just sit there. Still neither of us have said anything.
After a little while, he finally breaks the silence. "Why do you have that rule?" He asks, looking over at me. "Koz, I just do. Please just drop it. It doesn't matter." I tell him, not looking his way. I sat just staring at the flames when all of a sudden, he pulls his chair closer to mine and intertwines our fingers. "You know you can talk to me right. Whatever you say stays between us. I promise." He tells me, kissing my knuckles. Turning to him, I say, "You can't say anything to anyone. I mean it, Koz." I warn him. "I won't Pretty Girl. I promise."
I took a deep breath and started telling him the reason for my rule. "I was 16 when Opie went to Chino and since he spent most nights home with Donna and the kids, Pop was alway either at the cabin drunk or at home with a croweater, I spent most Friday nights at the clubhouse, drinking and partying. I got a little wild. One night, I saw most of the Sons as either uncles or brothers but there was one Son that just gave me the creeps. Was always trying to find ways to brush against me or talk to me. But I did everything I could to keep away from him. Well, I was pretty drunk one night and it started getting really hot inside the clubhouse so I stepped outside to cool off and get some air. I walked over to the boxing ring and was sitting on the picnic table when I heard someone walking up. Looking up it was the one Son I didn't want to be alone with. I tried to get up and walk away but he wouldn't let me. He covered my mouth and pulled me to the side of the building and" stopped to get my emotions in check before continuing. "He raped me. When he was done he just walked away like nothing happened. One of the croweaters found me and snuck me in the back door and helped me get cleaned up and put me in Opie's dorm room. She didn't know who it was just what happened. I made her promise not to tell anyone. A week later, Opie gets locked up and sent to Chino and the one that raped me was excommunicated." I tell him, wiping a tear away that escaped. "Baby I am so sorry. You know I would never hurt you, right?" He asked. "I know Koz but I have not been involved with anyone since then. I don't trust anyone enough to get close to them like that. I don't know if I am even capable." I tell him. He pulls me into his lap and kisses me softly. "I won't tell anyone. I promise but Pretty Girl, Just give me a chance. I won't hurt you." He tells me. "Can I think about it?" I asked. "Sure. I'm not going anywhere." We sat outside a little while longer, him just holding me while we watched the fire, neither of us saying a word. Just enjoying each other's comfort.
I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up, it was morning and I was in my bed, completely dressed, alone. I walked into the kitchen and see Kozik sleeping on my couch in the living room. I couldn't help but smile. He really was nice looking and really sweet. I started the coffee and poured two cups. Walking to the living room, I put both cups on the coffee table, sitting down on my knees next to the couch. I push his hair out of his eyes and softly kiss his cheek. Waking up he looks at me and smiles, "Morning Pretty Girl." I couldn't help but smile. "Morning Koz." I sat back and handed him his coffee, taking my own and taking a drink. "Okay." I tell him. He looks at me and his smile widens. "Really?" He asks knowing what I am talking about. "Yes, surfer boy. But the first time I find out you are with anyone else here or on a run, it's done. But there is only one condition." I tell him. He smiles "You name it." I look at him with a sheepish grin, "You have to get Tig's blessing." I tell him knowing that this will prove how bad he wants this.