7 Lesser Known Ways Harry Potter Could Have Died But Didn't

Summary: A look at some of Harry's close calls over the years, told through seven humor filled chapters... At some point one begins to wonder if this Boy Who Lived really had another secret magic about him, because man, was he close to dying a lot more than the many instances he was already famous for!

Chapter 2

It was a lovely early October day, and the second year Gryffindors had finished their classes for the day. Harry Potter was strolling around the lake with his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. The sun was shining from a clear blue sky, and things were as good as they could be. Of course Harry would have been feeling a bit better had they not come directly from Professor Lockheart's dumb teachings, or if Hermione could stop admiring the guy for just one minute. Harry found it to be rather odd – Hermione was one of the smartest people he had ever met, yet she didn't seem to realise how entirely incompetent the flamboyantly dressed man was as a teacher. Whatever he and Ron said to argue their point, she argued against them, but her case really wasn't that strong. After all, who thinks the professor's favourite midnight snack is a relevant question on a quiz that's supposedly about dangerous creatures?

"Hermione!" Ron said, getting worked up. "He's an idiot. You could pick any other person, off the street, and they would do a better job at teaching us Defence!"

Hermione's eyes turned a dangerous shade of dark brown, and Harry could see that a slight blush flushed her cheeks. He figured she was getting angrier too, and decided to cut in, before his two best friends started a full on screaming match.

"You have to admit that the test he gave us today was pretty pointless," he said, but quickly continued, "But who knows, maybe we get a good score on it, or maybe we actually need to know some of those things one day." Harry didn't believe that in the slightest, but Hermione looked momentarily satisfied. Ron grunted disapprovingly. Harry actually agreed with him, that any other person would probably be a better teacher, but he was too tired to argue about it any more. He didn't want to talk more about Lockheart, and so he tried to steer the conversation to a different, yet connected topic.

"What did you put as an answer for that question about water creatures, though? To me it seemed as though he was describing mermaids, but that can't have been what he meant, right?"

Hermione, looking a lot happier, immediately started talking about her thought process in answering that particular question. Ron shot Harry an annoyed glance, that seemed to say "Did you have to?" Harry only half listened to Hermione's musings, he really only wanted to not talk or think about Lockheart anymore, and didn't really care what they were speaking of instead. His green eyes followed the water circles on the otherwise still lake. They came from the Giant Squid, who was half visible a few metres in front of them. A group of older students seemed to be feeding it toast, as they were throwing bits of bread into the water, and the Giant Squid's head popped up eagerly as soon as the food had disappeared.

"From what I've read, mermaids around here look nothing like what Muggles think, anyway, so I actually wrote-" Hermione was saying, just as Harry lost his balance. His foot had caught hold on a rock, and he tumbled sideways. His reflexes failed him, and to his and his friends horror, he tumbled all the way into the water. He didn't have time to think of the possibility of having hurt himself, nor how utterly embarrassing it all was, before something grabbed him from behind. Harry gasped, and his head went under the water's surface. Hermione's mouth formed a quiet O, as Ron started to scream for his friend.

Harry couldn't hear that though, his ears were filled with murky lake water, and he kept his eyes shut. It had been instinct to close them as he felt himself being pulled under, and he didn't dare open them now. The something that had dragged him still held him in a firm grip, something big and strong, around his waist. Harry nervously poked it with his left hand, and found that it was a slimy smooth something. Suddenly another slimy smooth something touched his face, in an almost gentle manner. Harry was terrified. What by all Merlin's colourful socks was going on, and how would he get himself out of it? He needed air, but obviously he couldn't breath under water, and he could feel himself start to lose consciousness. A slimy something yet again stroke his head, and Harry blacked out just as he was pushed to the surface.

"Oh my god, oh my god, Harry, can you hear me? Harry?"

"I'm gonna write to mum about this, that thing is dangerous and shouldn't be allowed near students, or humans of any kind!"

"Harry? Please, say something, anything, oh god..."

Two voices were slowly making their way to Harry's brain, but they sounded far away, and it confused him. If they wanted to talk to him so bad, why not come closer to where he was? … That was a good point, where was he? Harry were lying on something hard and flat, and rather cold. He realised that maybe it wasn't the yet to be distinguished surface that was cold, but rather himself. He was actually shivering.

"Uh," he mumbled, and blinked his eyes open. Two figured came into view, one freckled boy with flaming hair, and one very worried girl with a mess of brown curls on her head. Harry's friends, Ron and Hermione. Who had been with him as he fell into the water… Ah, yes. He remembered.

"What happened?" he asked, sitting up, only to be knocked back down again by Hermione, who threw her arms around him in a bone crashing hug. "Ouch," he muttered, but hugged her back. He was after all also glad to be alive.

"It was the Giant Squid, oh Harry, I think... I think it wanted to cuddle with you," Hermione said, looking like she almost wanted to laugh, but not knowing if she dared to, having been so very worried. Harry stared at her, and then at Ron.

"Eh... What?"

Ron grinned at him, also visibly relived to see him conscious again.

"Yeah mate, the Squid grabbed you and caressed your whole body! It was actually kind of gross... Plus you almost drowned, although I don't think he meant to, he let go of you after a few minutes," he explained, but it wasn't an explanation that made Harry feel any less confused. Why would the Giant Squid's first instinct be to cuddle a random student who fell into the water? Of course it could have been worse, he could have thought that Harry was yet another snack being offered by the older students, and tried to eat him. Harry shuddered, and again he realised how cold, not to mention wet, he was. He looked toward the place where the older students had been feeding the Squid before, but they were further away now, clearly having walked away just as he fell into the water. Harry wondered silently why they hadn't helped him or reacted, but maybe they hadn't believed or heard Ron's screams about him falling in. Or maybe they thought it was entirely normal for Harry Potter to take a swim in the middle of October, in his school robes. He looked back at his friends instead.

"Honestly though, I think I should talk to mum about this, she'll get mad and probably send another Howler, but to Dumbledore or the Ministry or someone. Can you imagine that, Dumbledore getting a Howler? Wait, that would be embarrassing, maybe it's best if we never tell her this happened..." Ron was saying, scratching his head. He noticed Harry's teeth chattering, and pulled him up. "Hey, we need to get you to the dorm, you need warmer clothes."

Hermione took Harry's hand, and started saying that they probably ought to go see Madame Pomfrey first, to make sure Harry hadn't suffered a concussion when he fell. Ron did not agree, he thought the best idea was to get Harry a change of clothes, as well as ask his brothers Fred and George if they could sneak into the kitchens and get them all some hot chocolate. Hermione started saying that sneaking into the kitchens was against the rules, and that Madame Pomfrey cold give Harry a warm potion, and also dry his clothes. Harry stopped listening, and looked behind him. The Giant Squid waved a tentacle, as if to say goodbye, and disappeared under the surface. Harry couldn't help the smile that played in the corners of his mouth. Okay, so it was really embarrassing to fall into the lake and almost be cuddled to death by a giant squid, but it was quite a funny story. And he was walking with his two best friends, who were currently fighting over the best way to take care of him. Best of all, the experience had completely made him forget about Lockheart.