Chapter 10: Baby Shoes for Baby Kicks

(10 weeks later ~ 30 weeks pregnant)

"Alice, let go." Rosalie said through gritted teeth. I whimpered and clung on harder. "You've already bought over a hundred outfits! The baby will have grown out of them before it gets the chance to wear them all!"

"But it's so cute!" I said, staring dreamily at the little pink dress. I didn't mention that I intended for the baby to star in her own mini fashion show, and that she would in fact wear all of these outfits in a matter of hours. When I'd told Jasper about it, he'd laughed and pointed out that my catwalk runway idea wouldn't really work if the baby was too young to walk.

Rosalie tugged on the dress, trying to pry it from my grasp. Whilst she was bigger and generally stronger, when it came to shopping no one could beat me. Rosalie was glaring now. At least she'd agreed to come baby shopping with me.

I could tell Rosalie was still upset about everything that was happening with the baby. Thank God it turned out to be a girl; I don't know what she would have done if I'd had a little boy - the little boy she'd always dreamed of.

"Alice. Let. Go!" Rosalie said. I clung to the dress tighter. It really was cute; pink and puffy and sparkly, the kind of thing Bella would die before letting me dress Renesmee in. The kind of thing I knew my daughter was going to love.

The glint of a sequin caught my eye and I squealed. Letting go of the dress, I rushed towards the shoes I'd just seen, hardly noticing Rosalie flying backwards as her own momentum made her fall over.

"Look!" I squealed, picking up the tiny shoes, "Mini converse!"

They were bubblegum pink with silver sequins all over them; the kind of thing Jasper told me I was too old to wear. And they were so small! They looked like they belonged on a keychain! "We have to get these!"

"Alice, the baby won't even be able to wear shoes until she can walk." Rosalie told me.

"But, but, but..." I held the shoes up and opened my eyes wide, pouting as Rosalie shook her head.

"Honey, no." She said.

I stuck the shoes in the shopping cart when she wasn't looking.

In fact, I added quite a lot of stuff when she wasn't looking.

Jasper showed up a few minutes later, just as Rosalie was about to pry a mini french beret from my hands. His eyebrows rose at the scene before him; my death grip on the hat, Rosalie's grunts as she tried to get it away, behind us a cart full of clothes, shoes, and accessories ready for our baby girl, and all around the store people staring at us.

"Alice, darlin', what's going on?" He asked.

I flicked my eyes to him, big and innocent, "Rosie's being mean to me. She won't let me buy this adorable beret."

"This adorable what?" Jasper asked.

"Beret." I repeated, "It's a hat. A french hat! Don't you want our daughter to be cultured?

"It's the fourth one you've picked up!" Rosalie argued.

"Well I'm sorry if I want my child to have the best of everything!" I said sulkily.

"You can have whatever you want." Jasper said, kissing my cheek. I smiled and Rosalie dropped the beret in astonishment.

"You're just going to let her buy whatever she wants?" She asked.

"She can decide what she wants to buy for herself." Jasper said, "She isn't a child, Rosalie."

"No, she just acts like one." Rosalie muttered, stomping out of the store and leaving us to it.

I pouted, "I'm not a child, am I?"

"You're a perfectly grown up woman." Jasper told me, kissing my forehead, "Now if we get the beret, do you think we could maybe leave some of these other hats?" I glared and Jasper froze, "Never mind."

~o.O.o~

"Bella, look!" I squealed, showing her some of the things I had bought. She just looked horrified.

"As a mother, I can't allow you to dress your child in those." She told me seriously.

"As a sane human being, I can't allow you to have a say in how my daughter dresses." I told her, just as seriously.

Emmett came in then, eyes widening at all the pink before him, "What are you doing?"

"I went baby shopping!" I said with a grin.

"What if it doesn't like pink?" Emmett asked.

"Why wouldn't she?" I asked.

"Not all girls do." Emmett pointed out, "Rosalie doesn't."

Ignoring his disrespect for pink, I focussed on his second point, "Where is Rosalie, anyway?"

"At the cottage." Emmett told me.

I frowned, "Why?"

"She was upset when she got back from shopping." He said.

"Is she ever going to be able to accept this?" I asked

"You know Rosie," Emmett said, "She'll come round."

"I hope so." I said.

Whilst Rosalie had been upset when Renesmee was born, she'd been able to accept it because Bella was human. She'd come to terms with the fact that she'd left the possibility of children behind with her human life. Now that she'd discovered that there was a way for vampires to have children, it killed her that it wasn't her who'd been given this gift. I understood, but I wished she'd come round to the idea faster.

Renesmee ran in at this point, and I saw Bella and Emmett's eyes train immediately on the blood coming from the cut on her knee. I'd found that since I got pregnant, blood - human or animal - had no effect on me.

Whilst Bella fussed around with cleaning up Renesmee and cooing over her, I made my way outside. I still couldn't imagine that being me...what would I do when my child came in crying after she fell over? I could barely look after myself, let alone a kid. Sure, I loved mucking around with Renesmee and dressing her up in pretty clothes, and she'd told me secretly that I was her favourite aunt. But the responsibility side of it all? I wasn't so sure I'd be good at that.

Trailing through the forest, I thought about that. If I wasn't a responsible parent, would Jasper be able to pick up my slack and be responsible for the both of us? Whilst he was definitely the more grown up out of the two of us, I didn't think he'd know what to do with a baby. He was, after all, trained on survival of the fittest and animal instinct, not baby management and caring for others.

"Alice?" Rosalie's blank voice came from above me. I looked up at her, "What are you doing here?"

"Taking a break. Thinking." I said, "It's all getting a bit much."

"What is?" Rosalie asked.

"Babies." I said. Rosalie frowned.

"It's never going to just go away, Alice." Rosalie said.

"What?" I asked, blinking as her tone suddenly went harsh and cold.

"Once the baby's here you can't just 'take a break'!" Rosalie said, "It's a full time commitment! That child is going to take up every second of your time! You need to take this seriously!"

"I do!" I snapped, "Excuse me for taking a walk, Rosalie!"

"It's not just a walk, Alice!" She snapped back.

"What then?" I asked, "What is it that's making you so against me? And don't tell me it's because I have a baby and you don't, because I'm sick of it Rosalie!"

"You don't even understand how blessed you are to have this baby!" Rosalie snapped, "You're so...so casual about it! As if it hardly matters, as if another opportunity will come along. As if it's not the biggest thing that's happened to this family since Renesmee! Not all of us are that lucky, Alice! And it's not petty jealousy, it's bigger than that. Have you even considered what it's going to be like once the baby is here?"

"Of course I have!" I said, "It'll be hard for the family to adjust, sure, but I thought you'd at least love her!"

"I'm not talking about me, Alice!" Rosalie said, "Or you, or Jasper, or the rest of the family! I'm talking about her. About the baby."

"What about the baby?" I asked.

"She's not going to be like a normal baby!" Rosalie said, "You are bringing a child into the world, destining it to this life, this fate! She won't ever experience normal human things. She'll be born a vampire, a monster."

"Don't call her that!" I yelled, losing my temper as Rosalie's words caught up with me. She had no right to be mad at me simply for bringing a vampire into the world. "She'll be a baby! She'll be family! Who cares if she's vampire, human, or even wolf?!"

"You just don't understand." Rosalie said, "She'll be doomed to this life from the moment she opens her eyes, and you haven't even taken the time to consider what it will be like for her!"

"Not everyone hates this life, Rosalie." I said, "I happen to like it. And my daughter is going to have a great life, regardless of whether she's human or not!"

"Is she though? Is she really?!" Rosalie asked, "And how are you going to give her that? You don't know the first thing about being a good mother!"

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm saying that not only are you dooming this child to a miserable life as a vampire, but to a miserable life with you as a parent!" Rosalie yelled, "You're going to be a rubbish mother! You don't deserve this baby, Alice! Are you happy now? You wanted to know why I was against it, and now you know."

I stared, blinking back the tears that would never come. Turning, I ran away from her as fast as I could.

I didn't get far before Jasper found me. I always seemed to be drawn towards him when I was upset. I flung myself into his arms, dry sobbing into his chest as he stroked my hair, "Shh, Alice. What happened?"

"Ro-Rosa-li-lie sa-said I-I-" I tried to stammer out the words.

"Calm down, darlin'." Jasper said soothingly, "What did she say?"

"She said I'm going to be a rubbish mother!" I cried, the sobs starting all over again.

Jasper glared at the floor, "She's got no right! Don't listen to her, Alice, you know she's just jealous, and you know what she's like. I can't believe she would-"

"She-She-She's right!" I said, burying my head in Jasper's chest.

"What?" Jasper asked, pure surprise in his voice, "Alice, why would you think that?" He took my chin in his fingers and pulled my head up gently so I had to look at him, "Why?"

"Jazz, I don't know the first thing about babies." I said, "I'm not like Rosalie or Bella, I'm not responsible enough to be in charge of a baby! I wouldn't even know where to start!"

"Alice, you're caring and funny, bubbly and kind, protective and loving...so, we may not have all the finer details of being parents worked out...we'll figure it out as we go along!" Jasper said, "You're going to be a wonderful mother, don't let Rosalie or anyone else make you think otherwise."

Looking into his eyes, I somehow believed him.

~o.O.o~

Rosalie didn't come back to the main house that night, and Emmett slunk of to the cottage to find her. Edward, Bella, and Renesmee spent the night at their own cottage, and Esme and Carlisle were upstairs in their own room, leaving the house rather empty.

"It won't be this quiet when the baby arrives." Jasper commented.

"Do you think she'll cry a lot?" I asked, "I mean, I know normal babies do, but what would she have to cry about? She won't need changing - thank god - and Dana said she wouldn't need to be fed as much as a human baby would."

"I think babies cry a lot just for the sake of it." Jasper said, "My sister had a baby. I don't remember it much, except that it always woke the whole house up every night."

Jasper didn't mention his human life much, except when he went on one of his civil war rants. I could never work out if it was because he knew it upset me to think of my own lost human life, or if he simply couldn't bear to think about the family he'd left behind. The few times I did manage to squeeze some information out of Jasper, he spoke about his family with a dreamy look on his face; the kind of look you get when remembering happy memories from years ago, or when you're reminded of an old friend you haven't seen in a long time.

It occurred to me that seeing as he was the oldest of eight children, he probably had some experience in dealing with babies. I didn't ask about it, because my eyelids were starting to feel heavy.

I fell asleep in Jasper's arms and he stayed awake, lying there with me, tracing circles on my temple with his soft fingertips.

~o.O.o~

I shot up with a gasp and clutched my stomach.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked worriedly.

"Give me your hand." I said, pulling his hand onto my stomach and placing my own hand on top. "Do you feel that? That's our baby!"

I looked at Jasper who was grinning like an idiot as he felt the baby kick inside my stomach. "She's happy."

I smiled at Jasper. All my worries about being a bad mother, all of Rosalie's harsh words, disappeared in that moment. Everything disappeared in that moment. It was just me, and Jasper, and our daughter. And that's how it was always going to be.

Woooah didn't realize how long it had been since I updated this! Soooo busy at the moment so no promises as to when the next update will me either...should hopefully be up sooner than this one was though!

I'm thinking maybe 1-3 more chapters before she actually has the baby, depending on how it goes as I write...thoughts?! ;)

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