I'm making my way back to Victor's Village when I hear a shrill whinny behind me. I whirl around and nearly stumble, determined to get out of the animal's way.
"Peeta, are you alright?" I gasp and look up and see my wife, looking like a goddess on her mount. Katniss sits up proudly, her dark hair flowing behind her, the horse underneath her black as coal. They move closer and I make to stand up. She jumps down and offers me her hand.
"I'm sorry if we startled you."
"It's ok, it's just not a sound I'm used to hearing in the Victor's Village. Where did you get him?"
"I told you, Thom is letting me borrow the wagon while Annie and Finn are visiting." I look pointedly behind the horse, to see no wagon.
"Well, I put the wagon in the back and wanted to go riding around the Village."
"I didn't know you knew how to ride."
"I don't." I gape at her, this incredible woman who can do anything she wants to. I turn to the horse and stroke his nose.
"He's beautiful."
"He's a sweetheart," she says, patting his neck. "Want a sugar cube, Midnight?" I freeze. She pulls out a bag of sugar cubes and gives me a shy smile as she feeds him one. I can feel my hands start to shake.
"I want to go with them as a guard," I tell the group solemnly. I see Johanna and Finnick exchange looks and I am kicking myself for not running off with Katniss when she suggested it. Now they are trying to separate us for who knows what reason and I'll be damned if I let Katniss out of my sight.
"You're too slow. Besides, I'll need you on this end. Katniss will guard," Beetee says. "There's no time to debate this. I'm sorry. If the girls are to get out of there alive, they need to move now." I watch him hand the coil to Johanna and she scowls. Katniss moves closer to me and I want to reach out and grab her and never let her go.
"It's ok," she whispers to me. "We'll just drop it the coil and come straight back." I drown out Beetee's words as I am fixated on Katniss. She nods to show her understanding but her eyes are on mine. I can't let her out of my sight. I can't let her go. If I do, I know I'll lose her.
I feel her hands on my face and she presses her forehead to mine. "Don't worry. I'll see you at midnight." And then she is kissing me before I can protest. My arms come up and wind around her neck and I hear an impatient sigh from Johanna from our left. Katniss breaks the kiss and turns to Johanna. "Ready?"
I watch the girls climb down the slope and Katniss looks back at me. I swallow, hating this feeling like I'm losing her. Like something terrible is about to happen. I watch her until she disappears from my sight.
My breathing is heavy and I have fallen to my knees. I register Katniss's hands on my face, her lips pressed to my forehead.
"You're ok," she is saying. "Peeta, wake up, I'm right here. We're ok, I promise." My trembling hands come up and cover hers and I squeeze my eyes shut. Her lips are cool against my warm skin and her arms wrap around me. She's rocking us back and forth, cradling me against her chest. Her hair tickles my cheek as I nuzzle up to her, trying to keep my tears at bay. When I feel steady, I try to stand and feel her hands on my arms.
"Here, let's sit for a minute." She leads me to our porch and we sit on the steps. She makes to get up, presumably to go back for the horse, but I grab her hands and hold on. She understands and cuddles into my side. Finally, I turn and kiss her hair.
"You're late," I say in a shaky voice. She looks up at me, baffled.
"You said you'd see me at midnight," I whisper. "You're late." Her face softens and she bites her lip.
"Better late than never, right?" I hide my face in her shoulder and sigh.
"I should have run off with you earlier that day. Maybe things would be different. Maybe we would have-"
"We would have been killed by Brutus and Enobaria," she says softly. "That or the group wouldn't have let us leave. Remember they were all in on the plan."
"Why," I moan, shaking my head. "Why did they have to split us up? Their whole plan was to keep me alive for you, so why did they have to send you off with Johanna?"
"I asked Haymitch that," she says, her chin resting on my head. "I told him I couldn't believe he had left you in the arena and he said he couldn't believe I had let you out of my sight. I felt so guilty, knowing I should have fought back. I asked Finnick, I asked Haymitch, I begged to know why they wanted to split us up. But they all said they thought we would find each other before the hovercraft got us out." That doesn't help at all. We didn't find each other and yes, I was lost to her. A part of me was destroyed in the Capitol and will never recover. Though I have said time and time again I am healing, I will never be who I once was. I'm not sure if the boy I used to be could have protected Katniss during the rebellion but I also know he would have never tried to kill her either.
I blink back tears as I lean up to kiss her. Her hands come up to my face again and she holds me tightly while she kisses me.
"We found each other in the end," she says simply and then she is kissing me again. I moan into the kiss and our fingers entwine over my cheeks.
"Why don't you go inside and relax while I put the horse away?" She avoids using his name and I nod as we stand up. She kisses me again before she goes back toward the horse, which I'm surprised to say, hasn't moved. I move into the house and kick off my shoes as I collapse on the couch.
"What in blazes is that," I hear Haymitch yell out.
"It's called a horse, Haymitch, and he's not hurting you! So don't throw things at him!"
"He's not staying here!"
"I'm caring for him and he is all the way over here. You don't have to see him!"
"I see him now and I say, he's not staying here!"
"Damn it Haymitch!"
"I'm fucking serious, Katniss, take that animal somewhere else!" I hear Katniss's angry retort, which includes some very colorful language, and I jump to my feet. If I can hear them so clearly, I'm sure Annie and Finn can hear it as well. I stuff my feet into my shoes and run back outside, where Haymitch and Katniss are standing in the middle of the street. Both of them are glowing red.
"What's going on?"
"Tell her to take that thing away from here," he rounds on me.
"He's a horse, not a thing, and he's staying here!" I reach out to grip Katniss's shoulders before she leaps on top of Haymitch but she yanks on the horse's reigns and backs away from Haymitch.
"I said no, damn it! I've lived here longer and you can find somewhere else to keep the damn animal!"
"It's not your girlfriend's horse and it never did a thing to you so stop being an asshole!" I suck in a breath as everyone falls silent. Katniss bites her lip and I know she is regretting her words. Haymitch looks between punching a hole in the fence and crying. Without a word, he turns on his heel and marches back into his house, slamming his door so hard that glass panes fall out onto the porch. I turn to Katniss, who is staring at the ground.
"I...I didn't mean-"
"I know. But you really hurt him." She nods and I see she is fighting tears.
"Why don't you go and apologize while I put the horse away for you?" She shakes her head and wipes her face.
"I'll take him back to Thom. Check on him and tell him I'm sorry, ok?" She jumps onto Midnight's back and her heel nudges him in the side. They take off out of the Village and I watch her hair fly behind her as she rides.
I don't even knock before I enter Haymitch's house. I haven't been here in awhile but I notice a dramatic difference. Being with Effie is definitely doing wonders for him. His house doesn't smell like a slaughter house anymore and I can actually walk through a room. I wind the corner and see him slumped over the table, a bottle in his hand and a photo album underneath his arm. His eyes are red and I freeze, afraid what he will do when he discovers I am here.
But he looks up and sucks in a breath.
"Should have known it would be you and not her."
"She wanted to give you some space. She feels terrible, Haymitch."
"As well she should," he spats. I sit across from him and glance at the album. There is a picture of a pretty girl sitting on top of a huge horse. I can't make out her features but it looks like a younger Haymitch standing beside the horse. They are both smiling.
Haymitch looks up at me through his hands.
"I bought my girl a horse from the Capitol and she was so excited. Since she lived in the Seam, I kept him here behind my house. She named him Fortune. I walked her through District 12, while she sat on Fortune's back and everyone stared. A Seam girl on horseback. But she was my girl, and I was a Victor, so they kept quiet and curious and disapproving looks followed us everywhere. We'd only had Fortune for a week before I was summoned back to the Capitol. Snow told me as a Victor, I was expected to follow certain obligations. He said the prep teams would fix me right up to make me more desirable," he spits out the last word and I feel sick. A picture of Finnick swims in my mind.
"I basically told him to go fuck himself and left the Capitol. When I returned home, I was told my mother and little brother had died in a house fire. Conveniently, Althea was at my mother's house at the time of the fire." He takes a swig from his drink and blinks.
"I sold Fortune and locked myself in my house. I became a bitter old man at 16 years old. I hated everyone and refused to talk to people. When I started Mentoring, I was cold and cruel. My first two tributes died in the cornucopia and I pretended not to care. Everyone viewed me as heartless and a worthless drunk." He takes another swig and I resist from grabbing the bottle from him. I lean over to see the picture more clearly and he winds up pushing it over toward me. My heart catches in my throat. The girl looks so much like Katniss. She sits straight-backed and proud, her long dark hair flowing over her shoulders. She has the same olive skin and her eyes look more blue than grey. I glance at my mentor but he is hiding his face in his hands.
"Haymitch-" I start but hear the door open and am sure it's Katniss. But I see that she's not alone.
She stands in the doorway, her hands folded and her eyes downcast.
"Haymitch, I wanted to say… I am so sorry. And…well, I found something that might cheer you up."
"Unless you're served in a frosted glass, I don't want to see you," he spats. Effie moves out from behind Katniss and approaches him slowly. Haymitch glances up and groans.
"No offense Princess but I want to be alone right now."
"You've been alone for far too long, Haymitch," Effie says softly. "You don't need to be anymore." I go to Katniss and grasp her hand. She pulls me from the room, feeling we need to give them some privacy. The last thing I see is Effie wrapping her arms around Haymitch and resting her cheek against his shoulder.
Katniss doesn't mention Midnight or what happened with Haymitch as we head back inside. Johanna and George are sitting on the couch while Annie paces with a sleeping Finn in her arms. Katniss immediately offers them tea and I jump up to help her but she gently scolds me to sit back down. Johanna holds a large box over her lap and she fingers it impatiently.
"Ok, put down the tea so you can both open your gifts!" I stare at the box, shocked.
"Johanna, you didn't-"
"Shut it, Mellark. I know gifts aren't required but George and I were excited to make these. Merry Christmas, little Mellarks!" I'm a little taken aback by her term "little Mellarks" but if Katniss has noticed anything, she doesn't say anything. We sit side by side on the couch and open the box together. I hear her gasp and I stare at the precious gifts.
"Johanna," Katniss says weakly.
"George found these designs in vintage archives and I thought you two would look great in these styles! Less modern-Capitol, and much more old-fashioned. What do you think?"
"Johanna, they're beautiful," I say quietly. I can't wait to see my wife in this dress. It is rich green velvet, with red bows along the neckline. Katniss takes it from the box and stands up, measuring it against her frame. It's huge and elaborate, as her Halloween costume was. I see red ruffles and bows in layers of the material, sort of like a Christmas tree. I pull mine out and stand as well. I'm pleased to see that I'm matching Katniss. New black pants with a green undershirt and a black jacket to wear over it. A gold ascot completes the ensemble and George smiles as he hands me a top hat.
"We found you one of these too, should you want to wear it. The archives showed men wearing them with this style of clothing." I nod and take the hat from him, tipping it over my curls and giving Katniss a cheeky smile. She is obviously trying not to laugh.
"Not my style," I tease.
"I actually think it fits you quite well," she says honestly, reaching up to stroke my cheek. I capture her hand and my lips brush against her knuckles. Katniss holds onto her dress as she moves to hug Johanna and George.
"This is such a wonderful gift. Thank you both." I repeat my thanks and invite them to dinner. Johanna says she is tired and that will see us tomorrow. Annie glances down at her sleeping son and politely declines as well.
Katniss and I carry our precious clothes upstairs and hang them in our closet. I smile as I see her stroke the fabric. I lean against the wall, my arms crossed over my chest.
"I can't wait to see you wearing that." She quirks a brow and closes the closet door.
"I think you've seen me in enough costumes to last us a lifetime." I reach for her hand and squeeze.
"Is it a costume, love? A costume, by definition, is something worn to appear as a different person or thing. I suppose whatever we wore in the Capitol were costumes but then again, they were made by Cinna and Portia, who knew and loved us. Your wedding dress was no costume, for you weren't trying to be anyone else but Mrs. Katniss Mellark. And those perfect little lingeries that you have…well, nothing is changed when you put those on either because you've always been that beautiful and perfect to me." She is fighting a smile and I edge closer.
"And my Halloween dress? I wasn't trying to become someone else by becoming a Queen?"
"Why bother? I told you, you've always been the Queen of my heart. So what if you don't dress the part everyday." She laughs and accepts my kisses as I lean in close.
"You're impossible," she mutters between kisses.
"Quite so. Impossibly, irrevocably, intensely in love with you."
On the morning of the Jingle Bell Ball, I open the bakery by myself and am shocked at how busy we are. People from different districts are attending the ball tonight and have stopped in for baked goods. I feel like an idiot for telling Rory he didn't have to come in this morning. Dane had to call in again, and Branelle isn't quite finished with her training yet. I huff as I shove more cupcakes into the oven and I hear the bell of the door. Groaning, I hurry to the front to help the next customer.
At noon, after running back and forth between the kitchen and the register, I am close to collapsing. I'd like to call someone else in but I don't even have a moment to retreat to my office. I don't know how I will get away to go to the Ball tonight. There's too much work to be done and I still need to wash off all the flour.
I hear the bell ring again and I have my hands full of muffin trays.
"Be right with you," I call anxiously, hurriedly dropping the muffins onto the counter. In my haste, I burn myself on the oven and drop a series of curse words as I nurse my wounded finger.
"Damn it," I grit my teeth as I hurry over to the sink to run it under cold water. The customer is probably about to leave and I wipe my hands on my apron and burst through the door, freezing in place. There is only one customer in the bakery, and is holding his hand out expectantly for his change.
"Here is your pastry. Thank you so much, have a great day," Katniss says with a broad smile and waves the customer off. I stare at her, shocked, while she opens the register to count the money.
"What…when…I mean…" I can't form a sentence and she turns around and gives me a warm smile.
"Hello to you too," she says cheerfully, leaning in to kiss me. I return it eagerly, feeling all stress and exhaustion fade away against her lips.
"Hi," I say with a stupid grin.
"I was passing by and saw the bakery was packed. When I peered in I saw it was just you and thought that was crazy. Where is everyone?"
"Dane called in to stay with Cora and Rory asked me if I really needed him, because we both thought that we wouldn't be too busy today, with the Ball tonight. I guess I was wrong."
"You've been alone all morning? Peeta why didn't you call someone?"
"I wanted to but couldn't even get a moment to get to my office. Damn it, I think the muffins are burning!" I hurry back into the kitchen and manage to save the blueberry muffins just in time. Katniss is right behind me and I drop the trays on the counter. I wince as I scrape my burned finger and she notices immediately.
"What did you do to yourself?"
"Just a little burn," I mutter. "I'm fine." She takes my hand and leads me over to the sink and runs my hand under the cold water. I visibly relax as the cool sensations make the burn fade. After a few moments, she takes my hand and brings it to her lips. I suck in a breath as her lips make contact with my skin. She glances up at me underneath her long lashes.
"Better?"
"Uh huh," I say thickly, trying to ignore how tight my jeans are getting. I glance toward the front and see that no one has entered. I run into the lobby and turn the sign from open to closed. She blinks at me surprised and I swallow.
"I, uh, get a lunch break. Forty-five minutes to be exact." She looks confused for a moment and I grin. She really is oblivious sometimes. I pull her to me and kiss her deeply, pressing and grinding against her until her eyes shoot open.
"Oh," she says in realization, a lovely blush forming in her cheeks. I grin as I pull her toward the back, to my office, and close the door firmly behind us. I hoist her up onto my desk and spread her wide, using my lunch break on my favorite treat in the world.
George has loaned me a gold pocketwatch, which goes splendidly with this outfit. I check it while I wait for my wife, who is running around upstairs trying to finish getting ready.
"Five minutes til we need to leave Katniss," I call up the stairs.
"I'm almost ready! Have you seen my brown jacket?"
"Babe it's really cold outside. You'll want something heavier, I think." I hurry to the coat rack and grab my nice black coat and wait for her at the foot of the stairs. When she appears, I hold it out and see her smile.
"How is it that you always know just what I need?" I shrug, though my smile refuses to leave.
"Years of watching you from afar, I guess. I always knew what you needed. I was just never able to give it to you. Now that I can, I'm going to spoil the mess out of you."
"You already do. I'm sure I've gained twenty pounds from all your baked goods," she says as I help her into the coat. I smile and kiss her cheek and she reaches up to stroke my cheek. She looks absolutely stunning, as usual.
"I want to see you plumped up. I wanted to cry every time I saw how skinny you were at school." I don't mention the times I watched her in the lunch room, when she munched on nothing but mint leaves and I heard her tell Madge that she just wasn't hungry. Or the moments when I saw her giving Prim her apple or her small slice of bread. How I wanted to give her all my lunch. I needed to see her eat and be healthy. Now that I am able, I will stuff my girl with sweets and treats and whatever she craves. She stands in front of me, her arms wound around my neck.
"My boy with the bread," she whispers and I feel my heart hammer against my chest. She stands on her tiptoes to kiss me and it is sweet and chaste. She breaks away and finishes buttoning up my coat. I offer her my arm, which she takes. I have to stifle a smile as I lead her outside and feel her freeze beside me.
"Peeta," she says breathlessly and I turn to glance at her. She has a look of shock, her eyes are wide, and her hand is covering her heart.
I'd called around until I found a place that rents out sleighs for the night. I'd hoped Katniss wouldn't find out and her shocked face lets me know I succeeded in surprising her. The sleigh is hunter green with tiny white snowflakes painted on the wood. It is lead by two beautiful white horses with silver bells decorating their reigns. There is a blanket and a pitcher of hot chocolate on the seat and I hold out my hand.
"Your chariot awaits, My Lady." She gives me a warm smile, one that makes my heart thump, and takes my hand. I help her up into the sleigh and jump in beside her, stretching the blanket out over the both of us and she nuzzles into my side. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and click the reigns with my other hand. Thom already picked up Annie and Finn in his wagon a little while ago. The horses trot through the snow and Katniss pours a mug of chocolate, which she offers to me. I take a sip from hers and give her a loving smile. Seriously, my heart is so full right now that I don't know if I can speak. As terrible as our lives once were, this moment right here is absolute perfection. Not even my dreams can compare.