Here is a nice long one for yall! Be warned, extremely smutty portions and talk of non-consent. Read at your own risk :)
As always, reviews are my happy thoughts! :D
XOXOXO
It's starting to get warm again and Johanna and I have been viewing wedding locations around District 12. I hate that she has to get married here because of me, even though she assures me 12 feels more like home than anything else these days. George is in the Capitol teaching seminars at Effie's school, so that means Johanna has been spending more and more time here in 12. With less than a month until her wedding, she is finally starting to crack. I have to admit, it took her a lot longer than it did me! I still feel terrible when I think about the fights between Peeta and me and even that terrible night just a week before our wedding. I do not do well under pressure and I don't think Johanna does either. Peeta seems to keep her calmer than I am able to. They have been working together on the design for the cake and she stays at the bakery for a long time. She sees him more than I see him these days. Effie has helped tremendously, since I am technically supposed to be the one who plans a lot of this. Her bridal shower went off without a hitch! She had a great time and they received lots of presents not only from friends in 12 but from well-wishers around Panem. I think Jo was a little surprised that people still think of her as a Victor. But after everything that has happened, after the many times we have tried to leave the Games in the past, they just keep coming back to us.
I suggested to Johanna a month ago that she stay with Peeta and me while George is in the Capitol. It seemed like a good idea for a few days. Peeta was working late nights at the bakery and Johanna and I perused catalogues and chatted on the phone with Annie about themes and colors.
But the nights were terrible.
Peeta and I were jolted awake one night by terrified screams coming from the guest bedroom. We tore down the hall and burst into the room, ready to attack whoever had entered our home. We found Johanna thrashing on the bed, tossing her head back and forth, screaming "please stop" and "don't hurt them anymore". Before I could move toward her, I noticed Peeta had backed against the wall, his hands over his ears. His face had lost all color and his eyes were full of tears.
"No," he kept whispering to himself, shaking his head. Torn between whom to comfort, I chose my husband before he went into a flashback. I ushered him out of the room and kissed his cheek before I closed the bedroom door and approached Johanna's flailing form. It took me awhile to wake her up and I got a black eye in the process but I finally calmed her down and I was shocked when she threw her arms around me and cried.
"I have them every night," she sobbed. "George will hold me and they will go away but they're worse without him."
"I have them too," I told her. "Peeta holds me but I still have them. The Games never leave us." She shook her head and wiped at her face. I hurried downstairs to make some tea for all of us, since it was clear no one would be sleeping much tonight. After I put the water on to boil, I went back in and told her the tea would be ready soon. I went to find Peeta but did not see him in our bedroom. Trying to keep myself calm, I checked his studio and found it empty.
"Peeta?" I called his name down the hall but did not hear him. Of course that horrible night in the Quell came flooding back, with me desperately calling his name before the lightning struck the tree.
"Peeta!" Stopping in our bedroom, I could make out the sound of water running and saw the light on in the bathroom. I pushed the door open and gasped loudly.
"Peeta!" I ran to the shower, where Peeta was crouched with his hands over his head. He was rocking back and forth, shivering violently. Touching him, I discovered the water was freezing cold.
"Peeta! What are you doing?" I shut the water off and climbed into the tub with him. I took his face into my hands and he tried to shake me off.
"Leave me alone! Leave all of us alone!"
"Peeta, please look at me. It's Katniss."
"No! She's dead."
"Peeta, open your eyes and look at me. I'm real. Look, look at your wedding ring. What does it say?" He opens his eyes and I shiver when I see his pupils almost fully dilated.
"Wedding ring?"
"Look at your hand." He glanced down and looked confused.
His confusion quickly changed to anger.
"What is this? Some kind of sick joke?"
"No, Peeta, I'm your wife! Your ring says real. Because our love, it's…it's very real." I couldn't have seen it coming but Peeta's speed still surprised me. His hand was around my throat within seconds and I gasped as his fingers tightened
"You think I'd believe anything you say to me? You think I actually believe you are real? I'm not stupid, mutt. I won't let the Capitol win! Snow can do whatever he wants with me. I'm already dead. I died the day he killed Katniss."
"Peeta," I started to gasp, his fingers tightening even more. I don't know why he didn't use both hands, like the first time. Perhaps because my Peeta was under there, trying to stop himself.
"Peeta, I love you. You know how much I love you. And that's real." I watched his eyes soften and his fingers went slack. When he realized what he had done, he jerked his hand away and stared at it as if it was a snake. His eyes returned to blue and they filled with tears.
"Katniss," he gasped and I shook my head.
"Peeta, I'm fine. You didn't hurt me. I'm ok." But he continued to stare at his hand in disbelief.
"I'm a monster."
"No you're not! You're my husband. Do not call my husband a monster!" Before he could stop me, I leaned in and rested my head against his sodden shirt. He hesitated for a moment before his arms came up and wrapped around me. I gripped his shirt in my fist, feeling the tears fall. He still shivered and his skin was cold. I pulled him to his feet and lead him to our closet. I stripped him of his wet clothes and tossed them aside. He stood in the middle of the closet, naked and shivering and I grabbed a towel to dry him off. He didn't look at me, only stared at the floor with misery and pain in his eyes. I helped him into a dry pair of pajama pants and a sleep shirt and I pulled him down to kiss me. He winced but I wouldn't let go. I lead him downstairs, where Johanna was pouring the tea. One look at us and Johanna knew what had happened. She and Peeta fell into each other's arms and wept. I felt like the outsider, an invader on an intimate moment. So I took my cup of tea and went to sit on the couch with my feet tucked under me. I stared out the window and didn't notice him sit down next to me. Johanna sat on my other side and she was the first to rest her head on my shoulder. Peeta set my cup aside and he rested his head in my lap. My fingers absentmindedly played with his curls as his cheek pressed against my thigh. His arms wrapped around my waist and Johanna's arm draped over my stomach, on top of Peeta's arm. Our vulnerability at that moment was terrifying. Three Victors, permanently tainted by the horrors of this world, struggling to hold onto the happiness that we so desperately craved and deserved. We fell asleep like that, holding one another, comforting each other in our dreams.
The next day, Johanna announced she would be staying at my old house. Peeta and I tried to protest but it was a feeble attempt. She kissed us both on the cheek and we helped her carry her bags over to my house. Peeta then took me home and dabbed a bit of medicine around my blackened eye. He kissed me tenderly and curled up in my lap again.
Since then, George has been making frequent trips just to see Johanna and hold her at night. He really is what she needs.
Johanna says she is going to take a nap so I wave her off, thinking I will head inside and start dinner. I'm surprised to see Peeta sitting at the table, sketching. He jumps up when he sees me enter the kitchen and he hurriedly closes the sketchpad.
"Hey sweetheart, didn't expect you home so soon. I'll start on dinner."
"Jo needed a nap. What are you working on?"
"Hm? Oh just…just some sketches for the wedding cake." Something about his tone bothers me. He seems nervous. Almost frantic. He moves around the kitchen, grabbing dishes out of the cabinets.
"Peeta?"
"Hm?"
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just didn't realize how hungry I was. Or how late it was. You can head upstairs to wash up and I'll take care of this." He's trying to get me out of the room. And I have a feeling it has to do with whatever is in that sketchpad. I wait until he has his back turned before I snatch it up and flip it open. He turns back and drops the cup he is holding.
"No, Katniss, wait!"
Prim. My sweet, beautiful sister decorates the page. Sketches of her face and hair, in such perfect detail that it can only be from Peeta's hand. I look up at him and meet his wide eyes.
"What is this?" He doesn't say anything so I flip a page. The next page has two faces that are so like Peeta's that it's scary. His brothers. Ryean and Bialystok. I actually stroke one of their chiseled jaw lines. Now that Peeta is older, he looks exactly like them.
The next page shows two more faces, one of them very like Peeta's as well. He has thinning hair and a kind smile. The drawing is not complete but there are hands right next to the head and torso, and they are men's hands. Strong and calloused with lots of burn scars. The woman next to him has her hair in a tight bun, with a scarf pulled over her head. Her eyes are cold and piercing and there is no smile on her lips. But with further examination I can see sadness in her eyes. Maybe even loneliness.
I look up from the pictures of Peeta's parents and see him watching me, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. I turn the page and study it for a moment. A slender girl with long hair that seems to be blowing in the wind. Her eyes are soft and she has the hint of a smile on her face. A picture of bound hands catches my attention and I lean in to study it. One of the hands is wearing a ring and it clearly says 'Abernathy'.
I suck in a breath and close the book. I stare at Peeta, waiting for an explanation. He gives me none.
"Peeta," I say softly. "Why did you draw them?"
"The memorial," he says, his voice low and gravely. "I knew you weren't crazy about the idea so I started throwing some ideas around in my head. So many lives were lost but those are some of the most important to us. There's also pictures of Finnick, Madge, Haymitch's mother and brother, my best friend, and Rue. I wanted to tell you but…I didn't know how you would react." I gape at him wordlessly. How should I react? Angry that he didn't tell me? Should I break down in tears because I miss them so much? He moves closer, though his movements are hesitant and cautious.
"Katniss?" I look up at him quickly and he takes my hand in his, his thumb raking across my knuckles. I suck in a breath as I toss the book onto the table and lower my head. Peeta stands in front of me, both my hands in his and he kisses my hair.
"I'm sorry if I upset you," he says softly. "I wasn't planning to let you see it until later. After I have a solid concept and design."
"They're beautiful," is all I can say. He smiles a sad smile. He opens his mouth to speak but he is cut off by the phone.
"I'll get it," I say hurriedly, turning away from him. I don't miss his sad expression.
I rush to the study and hold the phone to my ear.
"Hel-"
"Katniss! I am leaving 4 and coming to you now, if that's alright." Annie sounds hysterical. What has happened now?
"Annie, what's going on?" I glance up and see Peeta in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. I mouth Annie's name and his concerned frown deepens.
"Finn was just playing with a few kids from outside the Village. I don't know what was said but Finn came home, asking about his father and what were the Hunger Games." I freeze. Finn is way too young to understand any of this! Peeta sees my fear and comes to stand next to me. His arm wraps around me and I realize I am shaking.
"I told him to go start packing. We are going to see Uncle Peeta and Aunt Niss and Aunt Jo. He forgot all about it and ran off to pack but I'm so scared, Katniss! What will I tell him? I figured I had years before I had to figure out what to say!" I don't know what to say to her. I don't know how to comfort her. How would I possibly explain the Games to my children? Everything that happened? I couldn't. Another reason I can't have them. And poor Annie. Finnick's interview about how Snow sold his body was a topic of a lot of heated conversation all around Panem. What if that gets back to his son? I nearly drop the phone and Peeta takes it from me and puts it on speaker, so he can listen.
"It's been so hard," she goes on. "We have tried to make friends outside the Village but no one really talks to us. Finn invites kids to our house and he wonders why they never come. When I go into town for groceries or something, I'm like a pariah! No one will speak to me! I can't do this anymore, Katniss! I can't do this to my son!"
"Then come back here," Peeta says firmly. "We love you and District 12 can be your home. Finn has friends at the orphanage. Both of you are loved and respected around here. So come be with us. You can have Katniss's old house and be a part of our dysfunctional family around here." Annie lets out something between a choking gasp and a sob.
"I think you're right, Peeta. You're both right. I should have accepted Katniss's invitation last year. But I was holding onto Finnick. What's left of him."
"As long as you keep him in your heart, he will never leave us," Peeta says gently. "I won't lie to you. There will come a day when you will have to tell Finn the truth. About everything. He deserves to know and he deserves to hear it from his mother, not the history books. So I won't lie to you and tell you it will be easy and you won't have bad days. But you'll have us and we can help each other. That's what family does."
"We protect each other," I finish for him and he looks up at me, a loving smile forming around his lips. Annie sniffles.
"You guys are right. Finn and I will bring what we can and then I'll come back later for the rest."
"Just have it sent here, Annie," Peeta says dismissively. "I'll pay whatever it costs."
"Peeta no! You can't do that. I'll make several trips-"
"Annie why do you think I work at the bakery? It's not for money, I promise you. It's to see people happy with their morning pastries and fresh bread again. It's for my father's legacy. I don't need to work. None of us do. I have more money than I know what to do with. So don't worry about it and get yourselves to 12 already." Annie breaks down again, sobbing into the phone.
"Oh Peeta. Katniss. You're both too good for this world…much too good…no one deserves what you got…no one…" Peeta and I exchange troubled glances and he shifts from side to side.
"Come on Annie, wipe those tears away. Get Finn packed and we will see you soon, alright?"
"Alright. Yes. I'll buy our tickets now. Thank you both. I love you. Finn and I, we would be lost without you."
"We love you, Annie," Peeta says before he hangs up. I exhale a deep breath and Peeta wraps his arms around me.
"Do Victors ever get a happy ending?"
"Of course we do," he replies. "We make our own happy endings. You, Katniss, are my happily ever after." I lean up to kiss him and my hand lingers on his cheek.
"Guess we should tell Johanna she is getting a new roommate."
When Jo comes over for dinner that night, Peeta quietly tells her about Annie's phone call. A look of concern crosses over her face, until he tells her that she's moving here. She looks stunned and drops her fork.
"She actually agreed to it?"
"She didn't put up much of a fight," Peeta says with a shrug. "Katniss invited her to stay before she left in January. But apparently some of the kids started asking Finn about the Games. She just called us earlier, crying hysterically." Johanna shakes her head.
"Annie has been so lonely there since she moved back. I mean, I stayed around for awhile but when I met George, I wasn't around much. And I felt terrible, leaving her alone like that but she wouldn't listen to me when I said she needed to move out of 4. I even suggested she move here to 12 before you two got married!"
"So why didn't she?"
"Because it's where she and Finnick grew up. Where they met, where they fell in love. It was the only place they could be together. When Annie came home from the Games, Finnick asked her to stay at his place and she basically moved in. Her parents had died when she was seventeen, you see, so she was an orphan. Except for her brother Aiden. Aiden was…I think ten or eleven when she became a Victor? Anyway, Finnick was determined to keep Annie and Aiden safe but…well, Snow found out about Annie and Finnick…and Finnick was the Capitol's golden boy, it wouldn't do to have the Capitol Darling in a relationship. Snow told Finnick he couldn't see Annie anymore…Finnick refused. During one of his 'engagements' in the Capitol, Aiden mysteriously drowned and Annie was taken to the Capitol for 'protection'." I cast a horrified glance at Peeta and see he looks just as disturbed as I do. But anger flashes in his eyes and I turn back to Johanna, who just looks saddened.
"Snow forced Annie into the same deal as he did with Finnick. So Finnick went to Snow with a proposition. He would stay in the Capitol permanently, with only the summer months off so he could go home to 4, if Snow released Annie. Snow agreed and Annie was allowed to return to Victor's Village. Finnick would return at the beginning of the summer and they would spend every day together. The summer was their time. At the end of August, Finnick would go back to the Capitol. Annie begged and begged for him to just let her come with him but he refused. I can't remember exactly when Snow broke his promise but he sold Annie one night and it didn't go so well. Apparently rich assholes don't want mad Victors. Annie was sent back, abused and with very low reviews. Snow was angry that he was losing money on a Victor and threatened to have her killed. So Finnck stepped in and did something that astounded Snow. He bought her."
"Come again," Peeta repeated, looking horrified. Johanna nodded sadly.
"He never told me how much. But he offered Snow a huge sum of money if Finnick could keep Annie with him. And I mean, the starting rate for an hour with Finnick was approximately ten-thousand. I can't begin to imagine how much he paid for Annie. I don't think she ever found out. She wondered why Snow all of a sudden just let her stay with Finnick in his hotel room with him but he never told her." I feel sick. Peeta's hand is resting on the table and I reach over and squeeze it. He glances at me but looks back to Johanna, our hands resting on his knee.
"So Annie never found out then? Did Snow ever break his promise again?"
"As far as I know, Finnick's bribe worked. They returned to 4 for the summer and Annie would be his escort for parties and such when they came to the Capitol. Since she was a Victor, she was still pretty popular. After I won, Annie stopped appearing by Finnick's side all the time. Finnick made excuses for her, said she was tired, wasn't feeling well but we knew Snow had sent her back to 4. Since I was the new and upcoming Victor, Finnick and I were forced together a lot." My jaw drops.
"You and Finnick?!"
"Wasn't by choice," she grumbles. "The man is completely selfish in bed. But we both had other people on our minds and that's how you get through it. Think of that person." Peeta's hand tightens around mine and I know what he is thinking. If that had happened to us. Would they have kept us together or sold us separately? We were the star-crossed lovers of District 12, after all. Snow forced us to get engaged. Would he have actually sold us to the highest bidder and forced us to be unfaithful? Johanna leans back in her chair and sighs, crossing her arms over her chest. She answers our unspoken question.
"You two lucked out. I mean, if the Quell hadn't happened and all that. But we were told that you two were the next big thing on the menu because you would be bought together. Think you have Haymitch to thank for that, to be honest. He refused to allow someone to purchase you separately. Your wedding night was going to be the biggest top-dollar event of all time." I push my chair back and run to the sink, dry-heaving. Peeta is at my side in an instant, his hands on my back and smoothing back my hair. I rest my forehead on the cold counter and groan. Peeta leans in and holds me, his other hand making comforting patterns on my back. Johanna pushes her chair back and sighs.
"I didn't mean to make tonight "let's fuck everyone up" night. I'll head out. Thanks for dinner."
"Jo, you don't have to go," Peeta says in a strained voice. Johanna chuckles behind me.
"Think I've done enough damage for one night. I'll see you all in the morning. Mind if I come with you to get Annie and Finn from the station?"
"Yeah, of-of course." I hear the door slam and Peeta turns his attention to me.
"Hey, breathe," he says softly in my ear. "Deep breaths. Katniss, stay with me. Stay with me, sweetheart."
"Peeta," I choke out, between gasping breaths. I try to concentrate on the feel of his hand on my back and I close my eyes.
"Think of your woods. Your calming woods. Your special spot by the river. It's calming and peaceful. I'm holding you, safe in my arms. Feel my heartbeat under your ear? It's beating for you. Always for you." I do feel his heartbeat and realize he has pulled us onto the floor and I am resting my head on his chest. His arms encircle me, and his chin rests on my head.
"You're doing great. Just continue to breathe. I'm right here. I'll always be right here."
"mm ok," I say into his shirt. He lowers his arms and I sit up. His hands stroke my face and he pushes my hair out of my eyes. I take a deep breath and open my eyes.
"What just happened?"
"You were having a panic attack," he explains. "You were hyperventilating and shaking. I just had to calm you down. How do you feel now?"
"Ok. Relaxed." He nods and kisses my forehead.
"Good. Come on, let's go to bed." He rises to his feet and pulls me up the stairs. Once in our room, he goes into the bathroom to get ready for bed. He comes back , wearing just his black boxer briefs, and I haven't moved. He cocks his head and studies me.
"You ok?"
"Yeah. My turn." I shuffle into the bathroom and brush my teeth. I peer into the mirror and shudder. My eyes are red and my hair looks frizzy and unkempt. I quickly braid it to one side and strip off my jeans, shirt, and bra. In just a pair of orange lace underwear, I pull on my robe and open the bathroom door.
Peeta is lying on top of the covers, reading, and he glances up when I walk out. He quirks a brow and has a bemused expression.
"I don't think I'm relaxed enough," I say softly and I see him fighting a grin.
"Oh yeah? What would help with that, do you think?" I shrug.
"Maybe one of those famous Mellark massages." He chuckles and sets his book on the bedside table.
"Let me prepare for you, Madame." He jumps to his feet and straightens out the blankets. He reaches into the drawer and pulls out some kind of scented oil he has used on me once. It's extremely relaxing and smells like peppermint. He sets it on the nightstand, then crosses to me. His hand goes to the sash around my waist and he tugs at it.
"Whenever you're ready," he whispers huskily. He pulls the sash and opens the robe, sucking in a breath when he sees how little I am wearing underneath. His eyes widen and darken and he tosses the robe aside. Two years together and I love that I still make him feel like this. I lie down on my stomach and feel him move beside me. The oil is cold on my skin but his hands are warm as they massage and knead my flesh. He leans in and I feel his lips on my neck and I moan into the pillow. His hands are gentle as they travel up and down my spine, down to massage my cheeks, and back up my back again. I release a little whimper and I can feel his smile against my neck. Peeta's hands are one of my favorite things about him. I've known he can give great massages but right now, relaxed is the opposite of what I feel. I'm hungry for him. Ravenous, actually. I rub my thighs together, feeling a discomfort forming. Peeta notices and lets out a light chuckle. His hands linger on my ass and I gasp as I feel his fingers slide down, rubbing over my covered folds. I'm rubbing myself against the sheets like a cat in heat and I have no shame. Peeta leans down and grips my hips.
"Stop that," he admonishes. "That's my job. And I want you dripping by the time I get there." I gasp at his words and he continues to massage my shoulders, all the way down to my feet. I feel his breath on my thighs and his tongue move over my underwear as his hands push up my back. My head shoots up as I rub back and forth on the bed.
"I told you to stop it, Katniss," he growls. "Next time I will spank you." Ohhh god, what is this man doing to me? His hands squeeze at my calves, my thighs, my ass and then he is stroking me in just the right place. But when his hands pull away, I let out a whimper and unconsciously rub my legs together. I hear it before I feel it. His palm meets my ass, and I am sure it would be worse if I had nothing on. As if he knows what I am thinking, and he probably does, he pulls my panties down my legs and spreads me wide. He spanks me twice more and his palm rubs across the stinging skin. His lips come next and I moan and quiver underneath him. With my underwear gone, I notice how the sheets are getting damper underneath me.
"Turn over." I wince as my stinging cheeks come into contact with the sheets but he flips me over and spreads my legs slightly. I close my eyes and tilt my chin up, shaking with anticipation. He starts at my feet and makes his way up my stomach. He pours the oil on my breasts and my pelvis and his palms spread it all over. His hands lightly cross over my breasts and I thrust up into his hands. He leans down and kisses my neck, tugging at my earlobe with his teeth. I whimper again and his tongue outlines the shell of my ear.
"How wet are you for me right now, Katniss?" I squirm at just his voice but I don't answer. Peeta is the one with words, not me. I'm not great at dirty talk. I start blushing like crazy but I think that just encourages him even more. I cry out as his thumb presses right against my clit.
"Tell me, Katniss. How wet are you?"
"So wet, Peeta," I whisper.
"Mmm, yes you are. I'd say you're enjoying this, aren't you?" He trails one finger down my center before he pulls away.
"I…I am." He moves over me and kisses his way up from my feet to my breasts. He licks around my nipples, never giving me relief. I squirm underneath him, uncaring of the consequences.
"Unng… Peeta!"
"Tell me what you want, Katniss," I feel his breath on my skin and I shiver at the delicious sensations. My husband looks up at me, his lips tracing over my hardened nipple.
"Tell me," he says again. I bite my lip and he watches me, his eyes darkening.
"I…I want you to put your mouth on me."
"Mmmk. Right here?" He plants a gentle kiss below my bellybutton and I shake my head.
"Not the right spot? Perhaps here?" He lifts my leg to kiss my thigh and I huff.
"Peeta-"
"Still not getting it right? You need to use your words, Katniss. Tell me." I bite my lip again, which I know is driving him crazy. But Peeta is the one who uses his words to paint pictures and to turn me into a quivering mess with the sound of his voice. He can spark a revolution and make hundreds of girls fall in love with him. And those lips…my god, those lips that I can never get enough of! Lips that I will claim as mine.
I look down at him and see him waiting with his brow quirked high.
"I want you to use your tongue on me," I say softly. "I want…your mouth on my…on…"
"You want me to put my mouth on your hot pussy," he breathes and I sink back into the bed just from his words. He leans up to kiss me, his arms trapping me on both sides. He breaks the kiss and stares down at me. His eyes are darkened with lust but I rather love the shade of blue his eyes go.
"Is that what you want, Katniss? Tell me."
"Yes."
"Yes what?" I swallow.
"Yes I want you to put your mouth on my…on my pussy."
"I want that too," he says in a deep voice. "I want to feel you come all over my mouth, I want to taste and devour you and finally when you are nothing but a quivering mess on the sheets, I want to fuck you nice and slow. I want to hear you whimpering my name the whole time." My teeth close over my lip and I see his eyes dart to it immediately. I can hear my heart racing and I know he must hear it too.
"Would you like that, Katniss? Is that what you want?"
"Yes Peeta." He lowers himself over me and kisses me slowly, easing my mouth open for him to explore. His fingertips rake across my lips and he slowly sticks two of his fingers past my lips. I suck as hard as I can, smirking when I see his eyes darken a whole other shade. He rises up, using his strong arm to support him while his other slinks its way down my body and between my legs. His fingers press against my clit before they sink into me. My eyes roll to the back of my head at the pleasure and I sink deeper into the bed. Peeta kisses his way down my body, leaving small purple bruises on my breasts and thighs. I can't fault him for it. I claim him this way too. This way the world knows I am his and he is mine.
I glance up to see his fair head nestled between my thighs and his fingers spread me wide so he can flick his tongue up and down. He takes my clit between his teeth and sucks hard and I let out whimpers and curses. My legs start to close and he lets out a growl as he holds them open, continuing his attack with his mouth. I jerk my hips upward and grind against him, my back arching off the bed.
"Nnnng, Peeta! My GOD, Peeta!" He looks up at me and the pleased look in his eyes sends me over the edge. I come, screaming his name to the room and he lets me ride out my orgasm before he pulls away. He leans down to kiss me and he uses his hand to guide himself inside me. We both moan as he bucks his hips forward and buries himself fully. I feel complete when we are like this. I'd be content if we stayed like this for the rest of our lives. Several thrusts and he has me building again. He pulls out and sits back on his knees.
"Turn over," he whispers huskily and I scramble to my feet. I kneel in front of him and he pushes me to my hands and knees. His hands grip my waist as I feel his hot breath on my backside and I jerk involuntarily. His palm leaves several red marks on my cheeks before he leans in and his tongue travels up and down, thrusting inside me.
"Ohhhh god," I stammer, my face buried in the blanket. Peeta moans against me and his fingernails dig into my thighs. He leans back and I feel his fingers rubbing against me, thrusting in and out slowly. His pinky finger moves up a little ways and slowly pushes in where his tongue just was. I flinch and he withdraws immediately but I shake my head.
"I'm fine." I glance over my shoulder at him and our eyes meet as he pushes his finger back in. At the same time, he pushes his index and middle fingers through my folds and I moan as I am completely filled. His eyes are wide and dark.
"Katniss you are so fucking perfect," he growls. His hand increases in pace and I gasp. This is new to both of us. He pulls his hand away and I feel his tongue on my folds again and my legs start to shake. His tongue is replaced by his cock and I grip the pillows with both hands. Peeta takes my braid and wraps it around his hand, tugging upwards. When he leans in to cover me with his body, he hits a spot inside me that I didn't know existed and I let out a shrill scream. Likewise, I hear him grunt and groan as he starts slamming against me, his sac hitting me just right. With a shaking arm, I reach back and massage it with my palm and he lets out a stream of curses. He stills and I feel him pulsing deep inside me. He pulls out, flips me over, and leans down to kiss me. I am so close and I tentatively reach down to finish myself off, though I would much rather Peeta help. Instead, he pushes my hand out of the way and slaps his cock against my center a few times before thrusting back inside. He doesn't move right away, but rubs his fingers across my clit and slowly pushes in and out. The feel of it all combined pushes me over the edge and I jerk upwards, grinding against him. He moans as he feels me clench around him and he rubs a few more times before pulling out. He collapses beside me, our breathing heavy and irregular.
"Holy…fucking…hell," he manages to get out, his sweaty arms wrapped around me. I let out a "mmm" in agreement, snuggling up to him.
"That was a lovely massage." A low chuckle in his throat shakes me and he shakes his head.
"Guess that was my fault."
"What was," I ask, already feeling sleep tug at me. He kisses my forehead and strokes my damp hair.
"The oil I used on you. It has calming elements but also awakes the senses. It's an aphrodisiac, Katniss." It takes me a moment but I turn over to glare at him, my jaw hanging wide open. He throws his head back and laughs, leaning down to kiss me.
"Are you really complaining?"
"You seduced me," I say accusingly. "You bought that oil…to make me…Peeta!"
"You should know by now what touching your naked body does to me. And again, I ask, are you really complaining?"
"Hmm," I mutter, settling back down and he rests his chin on my shoulder.
I feel sweaty and register the filthy sheets underneath us but neither of us have the strength to move. We fall asleep just like that, his softened length resting against my backside.
Despite our incredible lovemaking, the horrors I face that night are worse than I've had in a long time. I keep seeing Peeta and I forced to come together for the sick pleasure of the Capitol, then Finnick and Johanna are added to the dreams. After one particularly terrible one in which Finnick and Peeta are together while I am forced to watch and Johanna stands over us with a whip in her hands, I wake up sweating and pull away from his grasp to take a bath.
I guess I fall asleep in the bathtub so it's a good thing the water isn't that deep. My nightmare is the worst. Peeta chained to the wall, watching the guards rape Johanna and Annie, then the girl who looks like me is brought in and rapes Peeta while he screams for me to stop. He keeps screaming my name and I squeeze my eyes shut, tears streaming down my face. I feel his hands on my face and they gently slap my cheeks. My eyes shoot open to find him kneeling beside the tub and he looks panic-stricken.
"Damn it Katniss, don't ever do that again!" He pulls my head to his chest and my arms wrap around him.
"I'm sorry. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep."
"Well you were yelling my name pretty loudly," he sniffles. "It's what woke me up and I realized you were gone. I panicked when I found you in here, drowning."
"I'm ok," I assure him. "I wasn't…drowning. Just had a nightmare." He shakes his head and hands me a towel.
"Let's go back to bed." I dry off and follow him and take the clean pair of panties he hands me. Pulling them on, I notice he has changed the sheets and I fall down beside him, exhausted. But the nightmares don't let up. It's an exhausting night for both of us, me screaming his name out as I watch the guards violate him and him rocking me back and forth, soothing me as best he can.