'And if I cannot have you
no one can, you're my
My darling,
'cause I possess your soul, your mind,
your heart and your body.'
My Darling - Eminem.
Chapter Thirteen - One Mean Upper-Cut.
Officer Jeffrey Matthews sat frozen in the front seat of his car, tapping his fingers apprehensively on his steering wheel and staring up at the daunting building that stood before him. Newberry General hospital.
Sighing to himself, Matthews snapped back into reality and reached over to the glove box of his car, searching feverishly amongst the various scraps of paper and documentation until he finally came across his notebook. Flipping it open, his eyes scanned the page and stopped suddenly at the memo he had made to check in at the busy hospital in the hope of finding any sign of Cody Martin. If his mother had been right and Cody really was a persistent and determined enough person to claw his way numerous miles across the state of California purely in the hope of finding his brother alive, then it was only completely plausible logic that the younger twin could be here, wasn't it?
As this thought of optimism continued to linger through Matthews' mind, he stuffed his notepad into the breast pocket of his jacket before climbing out of his patrol car and locking the door behind him.
The walk towards the large double doors that lead into the lobby of the hospital was one that felt like a lifetime to Matthews. There was an extremely unusual feeling that had uninvitedly graced itself in the pit of the officer's stomach. It was common sense for all people in his line of work to never, under any circumstances, get emotionally attached to any case they happened to find themselves in. But there was something about this particular story, not that necessarily touched him emotionally, but simply worried him. Really worried him.
In all truth and honesty, as much as Cody had scared the living hell out of both of his parents by performing such a devastating disappearing act, the definite best case scenario would be for Matthews' assumption to be correct and that the twin was safe and sound between the four walls of Newberry General. If he wasn't, what worried Matthews was that the grief-ridden sixteen year old boy was still out in the big, wide, cruel world by himself somewhere with nothing to protect him. And what was perhaps even more frightening was that this dreadful thought was still nowhere near considered as being the worst case scenario.
As soon as Jeffrey Matthews walked through the automatic doors, it became extremely apparent just how manic and frenzied the reality of Newberry General hospital truly was. Matthews' eyes widened in surprise at the pure hysteria that surrounded him as various doctors and nurses ran around fulfilling orders and duties, kicking out members of the paparazzi who had managed to sneak their way into the lobby, as well as responding to the several beeping and flat-lined tones that droned throughout the building's walls.
Finally making his approach to the front desk, Matthews took his cap off and smiled warmly and comfortingly at the obvious stressed receptionist who sat behind the desk.
"Yes?" she asked with a frustrated groan, spying Matthews' badge that he displayed on his shirt, "How may I help you, officer?"
"I'm here to make an enquiry about a boy," Matthews responded, cutting straight to the point.
"I assume you're referring to the S.S. Tipton capsize?" the woman went on, sighing when Matthews nodded his confirmation, "Look, I'm sorry, but the families of those who have been positively identified from the capsize have been contacted, but until any further identifications can be made, I've been instructed not to allow anybody access to the anonymous patients."
"No, I'm not talking about a patient," Matthews argued, "A possible patient's brother, actually."
The receptionist watched with a raised eyebrow as Matthews then dug into the pocket of his uniformed shirt and revealed a picture of Zack and Cody, "The boy on the left - well, not that it matters when we're talking about twins, I suppose," he said with a light-hearted smirk, "Have you seen him around here at all?"
The blonde receptionist examined the picture of the two boys for a few long seconds. The twin set of happy, smiling faces certainly brought her heart a ton of good, especially considering the hectic few days that everyone in the hospital had been forced to live through. The boys were standing arm in arm and were leant up against a metal railing with a magnificent backdrop of the bright, clear, blue ocean and a perfectly cloudless sky behind them. It was obviously a picture taken while they had been staying on the S.S. Tipton, as their wide, carefree smiles confirmed. However, almost as quickly as the woman's pleasant grin had appeared, it soon diminished from her face.
"Again, I'm sorry," she spoke sadly, "I haven't seen anyone who resembles them. Visitor or patient."
The news collapsed like a ton of bricks on Matthews' shoulders as he gritted his teeth together in frustration. His search for Cody Martin was far from over, and was now only going to become a lot harder with no other obvious leads. It was without question a road that he was hoping he wouldn't have to travel down.
"Look, if it were any other incident I normally wouldn't do this," the receptionist then recommenced, "But if you can promise me you'll be discreet about it, you can take a quick look in all the rooms to see if his brother is actually here, if you'd like?"
Matthews immediately raised his brow in surprise at the offer. While the mystery of Zack's fate was an unknown obscurity that seemed to be tearing apart the lives of everybody who cared about him, the thought of the entire tragedy had never really crossed Matthews' mind even once. He had been directed to find Cody, not his brother. And even though the notion of laying to rest what he estimated was purely inevitable heartbreak for all those close to Zack, the temptation of that spoke nowhere near as loudly to him as what sticking to the requirements of his job did.
"No. No, thank you," he declined, placing his hat back on his head. With that then said, he exhaled another deep sigh and turned on his heels, "And thank you for your help, but I have an investigation to continue with."
Cody was alone. Both literally and emotionally.
At first his dramatic departure from Bailey and all the others had been executed in a swift jog, but eventually he had slowed to a dragging walk, and finally, stopped completely, collapsing in a tired heap on a bench in a quiet, empty park.
His shoulders shook in a combination of panted breaths and silent sobs as he could sense the salty tears that caressed his cheeks begin to harden over across his face. He sniffed and wiped his eyes, pushing his hair out of the way at the same time. His body hurt all over, but no place more so than the left side of his chest and his jaw where he suspected Brayden had planted a good few swings when the two had been fighting.
Thinking back to how much he had exploded in emotion back at the loft and how he sat in a pile of complete desolation now, Cody felt incredibly pathetic.
The younger twin's sentiments were a bizarre mixture of idiocy and, still, extreme anger. He could hardly believe that he had seriously expected himself to keep his emotions on such a low key while he traveled across the city with Nate and company. Who was he kidding? Even now, he could still feel himself breaking away piece by piece from the inside out being without Zack.
This thought brought a fresh set of noiseless tears to the brink of Cody's vision. While he could understand completely how much he had insanely overreacted, his feelings of intense fury slowly began to seep back through to his core as Brayden's words about his brother, Jase, re-emerged in his mind.
What Cody couldn't understand was how one could find so much hate for their own flesh and blood. It didn't make sense to him in the slightest. There was only one sole thing that Brayden had said that Cody entirely agreed with, and although the other blonde teen had meant his comprehension in total sarcasm, Cody's perception was one that he knew would always be true. His big brother was his hero.
That was as far as their similarities went. Brayden hated Jase, and Jase obviously held just as much resent for Brayden, but Cody knew without doubt that this was far from any way he would ever feel about Zack. Zack was worth more than that. Zack was a sensation of total and utter yearning that made him feel sick in the stomach.
Zack was everything to Cody.
"Found 'ya."
Suddenly snapping out of his deep trance, Cody's neck jolted up as he squinted his eyes at the lone image of Ty that soon entered his vision. Quickly wiping his eyes again, Cody took a deep breath as Ty made her gradual approach.
"Finally."
Cody rolled his eyes, "Not now, Ty. I just want to be by myself."
The younger twin was not surprised when the dark-haired girl ignored him and simply took a seat next to him on the park bench. He waited nervously as she seemingly allowed a dull silence to take over for a minute or two.
"Bray's got a bloody nose," she eventually spoke, "Good job."
Cody ignored her comment, "Where's Bailey?"
"Calm down, she's with Nate. She's fine."
Ty raised a suspicious eyebrow as Cody merely nodded his head, his eyes permanently focused on the ground beneath his feet.
"Are you?"
Cody almost laughed in sarcasm, "Never better."
"Don't get smart," she warned sharply. She allowed her tone to soften again, "She's explaining to everyone what happened."
Again, Cody nodded his head. He only expected that the other teens wouldn't give Bailey a break until she started spelling things out for them.
"Well, I don't need any sympathy if that's why you're here," he then spat at Ty.
"It's not," she sniped back, "I left before she even began running her mouth."
His brow instantly creasing in a deep frown, Cody brought his head back up and looked at Ty through his red eyes.
"I want to hear it from you," she informed him simply.
Scoffing to himself, Cody shook his head, "Forget it."
"Cody – "
"No, I don't want to talk about it, ok?"
Gritting her teeth in a scowling expression, Ty bit her tongue at Cody's sniping tone and slumped back in her seat, stewing in annoyance at the renewed silence.
Ty had never been one to ask for much, but more than anything she wanted to be allowed access into Cody's mind. She wasn't even particularly sure why, but she craved the opportunity to get in his head and see what he thought and why. She wanted to understand him, more than she had ever wanted to connect with anyone else in her entire life. There was something special about Cody, she could tell. All she needed to do was get him to open up more.
Open up, she thought again as her eyes glistened cunningly and the cogs in her mind began to turn.
Basking in the quiet stillness for a moment or two longer, Ty sighed, readying herself for a conversation she never expected to have with anyone for as long as she lived.
"My parents never wanted a kid."
Cody's face shot back up, wide-eyed, "Ty, you don't have to – "
"No, if you're not going to share your story, then I'm telling mine," Ty fiercely interjected. She took another second to re-gather her thoughts, "Pair of complete fuckwits. Too much heart to give me up, not enough brains to raise me properly."
Cody cringed at the tone of Ty's voice. There wasn't a single ambiguity in his mind that protested that Carey and Kurt would make sure that he didn't see the light of day again until his was thirty if he ever spoke about them that way.
"I suppose I had it alright," she went on, "Nice house, good school, whatever else."
Her pale green eyes suddenly narrowed, "But it's still scary being a seven year old kid and sitting on the staircase at three in the morning wondering when, and if, Mum and Dad were coming home."
A vast sadness immediately drowned Cody's eyes as he locked his blue orbs with the emerald ones of Ty. Their gaze held strong until the dark-haired girl abruptly looked away with a hard expression as she lit up a cigarette. Showing emotion was not an option for her.
"So, yeah," she went on, taking a long drag, "I just carried on. I dealt with the fact that they never took any interest in anything I did or ever wanted to do. I didn't mind being on my own all the time or not having anyone to trust."
A cynical glimmer suddenly flickered in her eyes.
"It was only when I started acting up that they started paying attention," she said, noting Cody's curiosity peak, "When I started Middle School, and people started bothering me, I started bothering them back. Except I was better at it. After God knows how many detentions and meetings with my teachers I had for fighting, graffiti, smoking, throwing chairs or whatever it may have been, I finally got expelled for spitting in the principal's face after throwing a girl out a window."
Cody's jaw gaped in horror as Ty glanced at him and frowned, "Don't look at me like that! It was the ground floor."
Cody blinked in disbelief, "Well, that's ok then," he said sarcastically.
"Anyway," she said harshly, "my parents decided that I needed professional help. They took me to some whack-job psychiatrist, like, twice a week and he'd tried to get me to talk about my, quote, 'emotional problems'. What a load of shit."
Cody purely continued to nod his head, at a loss of what to say.
"I think the ol' doc was getting annoyed that I wouldn't talk to him, 'cause the next thing I know, he's called Dad in one day and explains to both of us that he's giving me some pills to take. Depression or anxiety or some shit like that. Like everything wrong with me was my fault, like nothing going on in my life had any effect based on the life my parents had given me."
Cody sighed, "So, what did you do?"
Ty snorted a laugh, "I wasn't happy, I can tell you that. I refused to take anything that the doctor tried to give me. May or may not have trashed the surgery… Dad took me home after my little 'melt-down' and we argued worse than we ever had before. Mum wasn't home, of course, so when I became too much for him to handle, he figured he could shut me up by back-handing me right across the face."
Cody gasped, shocked by the casual approach in Ty's expression.
"So that's when I finally pissed off."
All of a sudden, Ty came to a sharp pause, a mixture of thoughts flying through her mind, "…And I suppose that's why I am how I am now."
The unmistakable sound of a twinge of raw emotion in her voice made Ty, herself, flinch in uncertainty. She looked back to Cody and registered the sympathetic gaze in his eyes.
"It's because of my parents that I'm reserved and destructive and, yeah, probably a bit messed up. They took away any ability I ever had to trust people."
Cody could feel his chest aching in misery at the painful recollections spewing from Ty's subconscious. He couldn't even begin to imagine ever feeling so disconnected from the world around him, not to mention having no-one to blame for that except for the two people who were meant to love him more than anyone else – his parents. It was only starting to become clear to him why Ty always seemed to have an aura of pure emptiness circling around her. And it was one that the younger twin felt he had an inevitable share in.
"That's why I told you I didn't like the fact that you didn't use the 'bad-boy' approach," she prolonged, "Because people who act nice are just waiting for an opportunity to screw you over." She stopped again, her brow creasing in desperate thought, "But you…"
Cody forced his eyes to lock with Ty's again as he waited with a breath held in for her to finish her sentence. Exploring the features of his soft face, Ty allowed the baby-blue colour of Cody's bright eyes to swell an unfamiliar feeling in the chambers of her heart as a small, but visible, smile formed across her lips.
"You're different, Cody," she spoke, "You care."
The younger twin tried to hide his utter amazement as he simply smiled back at the green-eyed mess before him.
It was only a matter of seconds before the two of them recognised that yet another silence had fallen between them. Re-living everything she had just said amid the chaos of her mind, Ty cautiously licked her lips and raised an eyebrow at Cody. There was no way in hell that she was going to let him keep his mouth shut when she had just explored an array of emotions and stories that she had blocked out of her mind for what felt like forever. No way.
"Your turn."
As he felt his protective shield of comfort shatter around him, all expression fell from Cody's face as Ty waited anxiously for him to reveal the reason behind his desperate quest to Newberry hospital.
Remembering the explosion between he and Brayden, Ty impatiently forced him to take a first step, "You have a brother?"
Cody swallowed back a chunk of nerves as he wiped his brow and slowly nodded his head, "Zack."
The mere sensation of saying his brother's name sent a sharp shiver up the younger twin's spine.
"Zack," Ty repeated, "And he's older than you?"
Cody nodded.
"By how much?"
Fixing his vision straight ahead of him, Cody opened his mouth again, "Ten."
"Years?" Ty asked, frowning as a slight chuckle emitted from Cody's lips.
"Minutes."
The black-haired girl's eyes widened in surprise, "Twins?" she asked, putting out her cigarette as she lit another one.
"Did you hear about the S.S. Tipton capsize a few days ago?" Cody went straight on, not seeing any point in answering what was an obvious question.
"Yeah, who didn't?" Ty replied, "All those people getting wasted – didn't know there were any ice bergs off the west coast."
The girl's joke was like a bullet through Cody's heart.
"Me and Bailey and Zack were on the ship when it happened," he sniped, observing the gaping of Ty's jaw, "Bailey and I were saved. Zack…"
That was about all Cody could say until he sensed the urge to cry creep back up on him. Biting down hard on the inside of her lip in anger with herself, Ty gently touched the younger twin's shoulder, "Cody, I – "
"That's why we're trying to get to Newberry," Cody cut in, "Because that's where all the casualties have been taken, and I don't care what anyone tries to tell me, I know my brother's alive."
A further despondency stowed itself away in the depths of Ty's heart as she watched with intent at the emotional rollercoaster that was forcing itself onto Cody just by him simply talking of his brother. It purely astonished her.
"You care about your brother that much that you would put yours and Bailey's life at risk just to find him?"
Attempting to cover a vicious sob that choked the back of his throat, Cody shrugged, "Of course." His voice suddenly lost the majority, if not all, of its stability as Cody trailed off in despair, "I just hope he knows that," he murmured, gazing up at the twinkling stars that covered the black velvet sky above his head.
"Well, why wouldn't he?" Ty asked softly.
Cody heaved a shaky sigh, "Right before it happened, we had a huge fight. I told him I didn't want him near me every waking minute of the day. That I wanted him to stop ruining my life. I know how wrong I was now," he said with a pause, looking at Ty, "after hearing what you and Brayden and Hog went through. Zack wasn't trying to ruin my life. He'd never want this kind of life for me."
Cody stopped for a moment to appreciate what he was saying. As much as it pained him to see the way the Nate and Ty and the other two boys lived day in and day out, he was endlessly thankful that it was the same kind of life that proved to him that Zack never wanted to purposely interfere in his time with Bailey, or anything else. The stories that the younger twin had heard from his new friends about the kind of families and home-life they had came from only showed him with no shadow of a doubt that Zack was, and always had been, a God send for him.
"After everything we've been through; all that we've ever done for each other – I don't want to leave it like this."
Ty shook her head with a shrug of her shoulders, "So don't."
In the next instant, she leapt up from the bench with a seemingly new spring in her step and reached her hand out to Cody's, "Let's go back so you can make up with Bray and then tomorrow morning we can get back on our way to finding Zack for you."
As their eyes met once more, Cody shifted his vision to Ty's extended hand. The genuine gesture was enough to send the younger twin's hopes to a skyrocketing new height, as he stretched his own hand up without a second's thought and linked up with Ty as she pulled him off the bench.
Dropping his hand back to his side, Cody re-directed his vision to the starry night sky and took in a deep, nervous breath, before he gazed back at his dark-haired companion and was blissfully stunned to see that she was still smiling.
Bailey smiled faintly at the cartoon version of herself that Nate had drawn on the front steps of the loft. She tilted her head, "My ears aren't really that big, are they?"
Nate licked his lips and narrowed his eyes, carefully hesitating his answer, before the both of them soon shot their heads up at the sudden sound of Cody's voice in the immediate distance.
"Bailey?"
The farm-girl's eyes widened in relief, "Cody!"
Leaping up from where she sat on the ground, Bailey bolted towards the younger twin and viciously threw her arms around Cody's torso, softly placing a single kiss on his neck.
"Are you ok, sweetie?"
"I'm fine," Cody assured her, "I'm fine, Bailey."
Holding his girlfriend at arm's length, Cody looked into Bailey's eyes and smiled, "I'm sorry I left you. Again. I just needed some time by myself."
"Cody, it's ok. It's totally ok," Bailey spoke sweetly. In the next instant, the blonde southerner curiously eyed Ty as she walked up to where the others stood.
"Ty?" Nate asked with a frown, "I was wondering where you disappeared to."
The gothic girl shrugged, "I just figured Cody needed someone to talk to."
Bailey's jaw hardened in a flicker of anger, "Well, thanks, Ty. You're alright now, though, aren't you, Cody?"
Cody nodded his head and put an arm back around his Southern Belle, "I am now."
Hiding her conceited smile, Bailey rested her head on Cody's shoulder as Ty rolled her eyes.
Oblivious to the entire situation, Nate's mind was somewhere else. As soon as Cody had left the loft, Bailey had – with some convincing – revealed to the rest of the group why it was that her boyfriend had become so frenzied at Brayden's story of Jase. Hearing the shockingly heartbreaking account of Zack Martin had instantly caused an avalanche of emotion to overwhelm Nate to the brink.
"Look, Cody," the older boy began awkwardly, "Bailey told me what happened. I'm sorry, bro- uh, I mean…"
Cody almost laughed at the stuttering expression in Nate's voice, "Nate, it's ok. Don't worry about it," he reassured him. Swallowing some sour nerves, Cody then licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak again, "Ok, bro?"
An immense happiness immediately swelled in Bailey's heart as she watched a smirk of confidence cross from Cody's face to Nate's, as the two nodded their heads in an instant understanding. She knew as well as her boyfriend did that after everything they had been through thus far, if anyone else ever deserved that title, Nate certainly did.
"There's just one more thing you need to do," Nate then spoke. He turned around slightly and called beyond the open front door, "Bray! Get out here."
All expression fell from Cody's face while he sensed his confidence rapidly being replaced by further anxiousness as Brayden appeared on the front steps of the loft, holding his black hoodie to his nose, assumingly, catching any blood that dared to fall.
Cody gulped slightly. He knew that not only was that undoubtedly the only shot he would've put on Brayden, but it was also a connection of nothing but wholesome luck.
"Brayden, I'm… uh, I'm – "
"I'm sorry," Brayden cut in, "Cody, I wouldn't have said those things if I had known… you know."
"Yeah," Cody answered simply, "Thanks. I'm sorry, too."
Brayden grinned, "You got a swing on ya'. Cool?"
Cody watched in delight as Brayden extended a hand, "Cool," he echoed, joining hands with the opposite blonde to shake.
"That's more like it," Nate said, happily clapping each boy on the back, "Cody, we'll work on that mean right upper-cut you got going on later. How about we hit the hay?"
Cody immediately nodded his head, the thought of sleep – or rest, rather, as the first would probably fail – bringing a calm stillness to his unruly thoughts.
"Then we'll be back on track in the morning, right, Ty?" Cody asked, looking at the black-haired girl with hopeful eyes.
"Of course," Ty answered, the nod of her head reviving the bright smile across Cody's lips. She then watched with a cocked eyebrow while Cody said his goodnight to Nate, saying something quietly to Bailey with a smirk before the two of them, and Brayden, then returned indoors. The enlightening dazzle in her eyes instantly faded as Cody disappeared with his girlfriend, and as he caught onto this, Nate frowned.
"Ty?" he said uneasily, crossing his arms as his cousin turned to look at him, "What are you thinking?"
Ty's green eyes blinked as she gawked at Nate with total innocence, "What do you mean?"
"I mean the way you're looking at him," Nate sniped, "I don't like it."
Ty rolled her eyes and forced her eyes away from her cousin, focusing them on the front door.
All her life, Ty had to deal with people who never for one second thought about her, or anyone else, for that matter – only themselves. But Cody was different. Cody cared. Cody went out on a limb for those he loved. He listened, he understood, he was smart, he was daring and, most importantly, he was trustworthy. Yes, Cody was different. And Ty liked it.
"Ty?" Nate spat again, derailing her train of thought, "Whatever you're thinking about, stop thinking about it. He's with Bailey. He's happy. Don't ruin that for him. Just take him to Newberry like he's asking – be his friend."
Ty turned back to face Nate with a questioning glance, "His friend?"
Nate challenged her expression, "You can't have him, Ty."
Ty growled under her breath, "Ok," she replied cleanly.
"Say it," Nate demanded, "I want to hear you say that you can't have him."
"Ok, ok," she beseeched him with a small laugh, "I can't have him."
Nate remained frozen in his position, glaring down Ty and scrutinizing every aspect of her stance, behaviour and persona, searching scrupulously for any sign that might tell him that she was lying to him.
After what felt like an eternity of trying to keep a straight face, Ty allowed her features to soften as Nate slowly nodded his head and muttered a quiet 'good' before he turned on his heels and went back inside to join the others.
The precise second that he was gone, Ty's brow furrowed in a deep, defiant frown.
Cody was the closet thing to perfect that Ty had ever had in her entire life. Nobody was taking him away from her. Or keeping her from him.
"But if I can't have him… no-one can."
Hello guys and girls :)
Wow! Look at this, just under a week, and Reney's back! :D LOL. I have been asked a couple of times this week to try and update fatser, which I will most certainly attempt, considering we're starting to get right down to the nitty-gritty of this story, so I'm going to be concentrating on it for the moment, but future updates may still be spaced out for a while to come as I've got two weeks of year 11 left before I have my final exams and then start year 12. So in the most loving way possible, give me a break, haha :P
Sooo, what did we think here? Bet you all hated that Matthews wouldn't check to see if Zack was at the hospital, right? And what do we think of crazy, obsessive Ty being... crazy and obsessive? Not to mention Cody finally coming clean about Zack! Reviews for this chapter will be greatly apprecited :) Thanks guys!
Reneyyyyyyy x.