What the hell am I doing? I'm sitting in a bar in District 8, drunk as hell, and all I can think about is Katniss.
My wife. Almost murdered by my own hands. The image of her beaten and bloody makes my hands shake. I drain my drink and signal the bartender for another. He frowns but doesn't question me. If he recognizes me, he doesn't let on. I'd heard that they are looking for me. I'm sure Katniss asked the president for help on finding me. I could be found by Gale Hawthorne any second now and I could care less. The further I am away from her, the better off she is. I thought I was getting better. I thought we would be ok, that we could finally be happy. Our 5th wedding anniversary is in a few weeks and I want to cry every time I think about it.
"Hey Bridge, turn that up," says the man beside me. The bartender, Bridge, turns up the volume on the TV and the man beside me grunts.
"Isn't that Haymitch Abernathy?" My eyes dart up to the TV and I groan.
"…if anyone has any information on Peeta Mellark's whereabouts, they are asked to contact his wife immediately. She is worried and terrified for his safety. The President of Panem has issued a search warrant for Peeta and asks that he be returned home safely. Again, if anyone has any information…" I close my eyes and lower my head. Fantastic. The whole country is looking for me. I pull my hooded jacket up, probably making me look even more conspicuous. The reporter goes on to say that this interview is several days old.
"So that's two Victors that's missing, huh," drunkie beside me says.
"Why two? Who else is missing," Bridge responds.
"Why, the little wife herself! Katniss Everdeen!" My hand on the glass freezes.
"What makes you think she is missing?"
"Heard it this morning. Been gone for several days now. And she's legally bound to District 12. Aint supposed to leave it or it could mean imprisonment for her."
"You think she and her husband ran off?"
"Maybe. Maybe he got wise and left her. Heard she went crazy after she lost her sister. She killed Coin, you know. She was supposed to die for it. Lots of people still think she should." I can't take anymore. I slam the glass down, throw down some bills, and head out into the pouring rain.
I make it back to my hotel and my hands hover over the phone. I want to call Haymitch and ask if it is true. What if she is missing? Did she come looking for me? Would she risk imprisonment to find me? My heart aches for her. I fall to the sheets and allow the tears to fall.
Morning comes and I am sicker than a dog. You'd think after four straight nights of being drunk I would be used to it but the hangover still sucks. I stare into the mirror and shake my head. What the hell am I doing?
Two more days go by and I see something else on the TV. Haymitch and Annie are standing in front of our house in Victor's Village and Annie is pointing at something. The volume is down so I grunt to the bartender to turn it up. He shoots me a glare but obeys.
"…signs of foul play. Katnss Everdeen-Mellark was originally thought to have followed her husband, Peeta Mellark, to an unknown district but recent developments say that may not be the case."
"We have reason to believe that Katniss may have been abducted by a terrorist group known as the Red Revolutionaries." My eyes widen as Haymitch comes on the screen.
"The Red Revolutionaries are a group of Alma Coin supporters from District 13. As everyone knows, Coin was found guilty of first-degree murder but certain supporters of hers continued to call for the death sentence during Katniss's trial after the bombing of the Capitol. After Katniss was returned to District 12 with the negotiation that she would live out her exile in her home district, President Paylor and I set up certain levels of security and made sure any hate mail or threats went through us. The Red Revolutionaries were one of the President's biggest worries. They constantly sent death threats and we burned the hate mail. But we fear that in her distress over her missing husband, they may have finally gotten to her." I try to control my breathing as I watch the reporter frown.
"And can you tell Panem where Mr. Mellark has disappeared to? Does he know about his wife's disappearance?"
"You can see my pleas for him to be returned home safely, so you can assume I don't know where he is," Haymitch says irritably. "But if you're watching this, Peeta, I ask you to come home and help us find your wife. She needs you. Always." Haymitch knows what that word will do to me. The bartender glances up at me as I push my stool back and dig in my pocket for some cash.
"Kind of cowardly, don't you think? Running away from her like that?" The bartender stares at me and I clear my throat, avoiding his eyes.
"I'm sure he had his reasons."
"Guess he'll regret it if they can't find her," he shrugs and goes back to cleaning a glass. My fists ball up angrily and I chew on my tongue to keep the sharp words in.
"I hope he finds her though," he continues. "I was always rooting for the star-crossed lovers. Wherever he is, I hope he knows how much she needs him now." He gives me a pointed look and my jaw drops. Throwing the money onto the bar, I race back to my hotel room and pick up the phone.
"Haymitch Abernathy's home," says a smooth woman's voice and I sigh.
"Effie? Is Haymitch there?"
"Peeta? Oh my dear, is that you?"
"It's me. Is he-"
"Give me that," I hear Haymitch snarl and I brace myself. "You have got some fucking nerve you know that."
"Haymitch spare me the lecture. Where is she?"
"Haven't you been watching kid? I don't know! She could be dead for all I know." I grip the phone tightly.
"Don't say that. She's not. What about these Red whatever they are? Why do you think they are involved?"
"You know, I don't know if I'm inclined to share everything with you. You fucking ran from her, you little shit! She lost it after you left and she probably could have defended herself if she wasn't so damn depressed." I blink back tears as I hear Effie scolding him. Haymitch sighs heavily.
"I still love her, Haymitch. I just thought…she's better off…"
"Yeah yeah. You kids make the poorest decisions of anyone I know. Alright listen, while I was in the Capitol I heard some stuff. The Red Revolutionaries, I thought, had died down after awhile. But they seemed to be recruiting again. Paylor got word to me that she received some letters that said they were watching Katniss and had the means to kill her if they wanted to. We have no idea what they want but we know they want her to pay. They were the ones who hired that bastard attorney to ask for the death sentence. The thing is, there isn't much sign of foul play around her house. I mean, it looks like she could have just left. So it's not hard to believe that she went looking for you." I swallow heavily.
"So what do you think? You think she is looking for me or you think something is wrong?"
"I think she's smart. And strong. And she wouldn't just disappear like this. She'd at least keep Annie informed. She's been going out of her mind with worry, she and Johanna both have been doing interviews, pleading for any information. I don't think Katniss would let them worry like that. I think something is wrong but unfortunately, we have no information on where they might have taken her."
"You really think they took her…because I left?" He sighs again.
"I think that there was less of a chance for them to get her when you were around. When you took off, she lost it. I'm sure they were just waiting for an opportunity to present itself."
"And because of me, it did," I finish weakly.
"Peeta, I know you love her and you think you're doing what is best. But I am waiting for you two to figure out that you need each other. You can't keep running from each other. Love is what will heal you and you both have come so far."
"I'll be home as soon as I can," is all I say before I hang up and start packing my bags.
I step off the train and gasp as I see reporters and cameras everywhere. Luckily they haven't spotted me, so I pull my jacket up and jog as fast as I can towards Victor's Village. I'm glad to see that there are no cameras around here. I'm sure Haymitch had something to do with that. I push the door open and drop my bags inside. The house is eerily quiet and I shiver. I walk through the empty rooms and pause in the living room. Prim's blanket is balled up in the floor beside the rocking chair. I bend down to pick it up and something small falls from it. I pick up a necklace and hold it in my hands. It's the locket from the Quell. It falls open, revealing Mrs. Everdeen's, Prim's and my faces.
Something is definitely wrong. Haymitch is right, Katniss would not just disappear like this. She has more regard for people than I do apparently. And the terror I feel in this house tells me that something has happened to her. That she isn't just out there looking for me.
Something has happened and I am determined to find her and bring her home safely.