'Did you try to live on your own,
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire,
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?'
21 Guns -

Chapter Seventeen - Indescribable.

Cody had always sort of pictured himself sitting in the back of a police car some day. Although, he had always imagined that it would be because some kind officer would be giving him a lift to the local penitentiary in order to pay Zack's bail money. It amazed him how quickly that time had come, and how the situation he had always envisioned was eerily similar to exactly what he was caught in now. While he certainly wasn't on his way to get Zack out of jail, Cody was still, without question, bailing his twin brother out.

Looking out of the window beside him, Cody sighed and gazed up at the clearing sky. It was at that magical time of day where it wasn't quite day, but it wasn't quite night, either. There were still a few visible stars that Cody could see shining back at him. The beauty of it all made him smile. Each dazzling planet that glared back at him held its own story, its own meaning and its own unique reason that made it special. The younger twin could merely heave another heavy breath as he wondered if Zack was sitting up in his hospital bed staring at the same sky with the same wonderment in which he was.

Awakening from his deep trance, Cody stirred slightly and looked to his right where Bailey was sitting beside him, holding onto his knee. The sheer sensation of her touch sent shivers rocketting up his spine as he smiled at her with all the excitement in the world. Bailey returned the gesture, grinning widely right back at her boyfriend. There were absolutely no words that could describe how happy she was that Cody was finally in high spirits again. It was all she ever really wanted to gain from their entire journey, besides getting Zack back, of course. And yet, as thrilled as she was to be almost at the exact place where Cody swore to all the heavens above that Zack was, Bailey was still struggling with all of her might to ignore the dull throbbing in the back of her mind that nagged at her to not, under any circumstances, get her hopes up. It wasn't that the farm-girl didn't believe the younger twin - it certainly wasn't that - but rather, it was purely because Bailey had never been one to ever allow faith to mix with logic.

The younger twin's eyes suddenly widened in deep anticipation as he heard Officer Matthews flick on his left blinker and sensed the car slowly begin to decelerate. Cody eagerly gazed out of the front windescreen and froze, his mouth agape at the image of the large, doughy, white building that sat before him - the large sign reading 'Newberry General Hospital' being the centre point of his vision.

Sighing reluctantly to himself, Matthews parked the car right by the front door and turned off the ignition, turning around to face the kids, "Ok, here's what we're going to do," he began, "There's a heck of a lot of doctors and nurses in there trying to keep the media out and whatnot, so if you two stay with me we should be able to convince someone to let us in and take a quiet look around, alright?"

With his heart pounding in loud expectancy directly in his ear, Cody abruptly ripped his seatbelt off and swung open his door at full force, tearing up the ramp and in between the sliding double-doors, stubbornly ignoring the urgent cries from Bailey and Jeffrey Matthews that he could hear exploding from behind him.

Upon entering the hospital, Cody forecefully compelled himself to stop running, so as not to bring attention to himself. He could feel his heart thumping louder and louder with every single step he took as he made a more valid entrance into the hospital lobby. He gazed around each of the pale walls that glowered back at him, searching for any signs that may inform him whereabouts it was that Zack and the other S.S. Tipton capsize patients were being kept. With this idea gaining no success, Cody quickly began to grow desperate as he spun around and subtly glanced up the two separate hallways that parted from either side of the lobby. Standing at the entrance of one of the two there was a very young looking nurse who was awkwardly trying to balance the many different food trays on her trolley for the patients. She fumbled with the bowls of what Cody could barely begin to believe was actaully food and delicately attempted to keep her balance, looking over her shoulder clumsily as she did so.

Taking a deep breath, Cody tried to keep himself from elatedly shaking as he approached the woman and opened his mouth to speak, "Um, excuse me, miss? I was wondering if you'd be able to tell me where it is that the patients from the S.S. Tipton capsize are staying?"

Cody held in his breath, all too aware that none of the hospital personnel were permitted under any circumstances to reveal that information. If his judge of this particular nurse's character was right, however, he prayed that the young, inept woman would disclose the classified details before she even realised that she had done so. Instead, however, she only cursed silently to herself as she dropped one of her numerous trays and gazed down regretfully at the mess she had made on the floor.

Taking this to his own advantage, Cody bent down and picked up the tray, bowl, knife and fork for her. Smiling at her politely, the nurse soon grinned straight back, "Thank you," she said timidly, "The patients are all up this hallway right here."

Before another single word could be exchanged between them, or the nurse had the chance to comprehend her error and stop him, Cody instantly spun around on his heels and powered up the hallway as fast as he possibly could, barging past an older looking nurse as he did so.

"Hey!" she yelled after him, "You're not permitted up there!"

Ignoring the booming, angry voice erupting from behind him, Cody thudded up the long, extensive corridor. It seemed to stretch on forever, like a never-ending journey across a dull, white ocean as the younger twin desperately peered around the corner of door after door, gazing right into the faces of many people that he shrilly recognised from his time aboard the S.S. Tipton, however, it took hardly any strength out of him to simply turn away and continue his search for Zack's room.

The blinding, sweat-bearing, heated emotions of tremendous anticipation were suffocating Cody with every single winded step he took as he completed investigating almost all of the rooms and quickly neared what had become the very last one. His mind was cycling - racing at a million miles an hour, constantly saying I'm here, Zack! I'm here! Cody could hear the conversation now, he could just envision his reuniting with his twin. He would tell Zack that he was sorry for everything that happened between them and that he missed him and couldn't live without him by his side. He was panting heavily, partly from pure exhaustion but also from the severe expectation that had taken over him. Reaching out to grab the door handle of the final room - the only plausible place where Zack could be, a smile of sheer ecstasy broke out across Cody's lips. His heart rate at an extreme acceleration, Cody melted in the blissful expectation of how incredible it would feel to sleep properly that night. How indescribable it would be to have Zack back safely with him. Just as quickly as he had made his advance, Cody finally forced open the tall, white door and at long last came face to face with -

Emptiness.

The room was full. Two beds, two separate individuals. The emptiness in question had stemmed from Cody's heart. Because in this very last room - in the entire hospital, there was no Zack.

The realisation of what was happening to him crushed down onto Cody's shoulders like a ton of bricks. It overwhelmed him, destroyed him and eventually caused his feet to give out underneath him as he slid down against the door, bringing his knees to his chest in a hot flurry of immediate tears.

Cody watched hopelessly at the two fully grown men as they slept in their beds, blinking and pinching himself as hard as he could to try and wake himself up from the nightmare he had regretfully fallen into. But even through his teary eyes and blistering, bleeding skin, Zack didn't magically appear before him. He had never felt so helpless in his entire life. His previous heartbreak fell so incredibly short of the intense and extreme pain he felt bubbling in his chest and that very moment. His heart and his complete soul had been ripped out and crushed.

As quickly as he had made it, as quickly as he had felt his hopes and wishes soar - just as quickly as all that, Cody had lost his biggest chance of being reunited with Zack. The grief felt as swift and decisive as a slit throat or a set of lungs filled fatally with the vile swash of the ocean. And while Cody continued to sit there, desperately pouring out what was left of his heart through his warm tears, he instantly lost all aluring beauty he felt for the gorgeous heavens above. Whenever he looked up in the sky and saw a star from now on, all he would think of was Zack.

'When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins.'
- Green Day.