'Pretend he just stayed outside all day and played with his friends
Pretend he even had a friend to say was his friend.
And it wasn't time to move and schools were changing again
He wasn't socially awkward and just strange as a kid.'
Airplanes pt. 2 - B.O.B ft. Hayley Williams and Eminem.
Chapter Nineteen - Wishing.
It all appeared before him like something out of a dream.
Cody stood in the doorway of his bedroom in the Tipton hotel, Boston, staring with wide eyes at the blissful image that he had left behind what seemed like a lifetime ago when he had departed his childhood home and set off on the S.S. Tipton. But, of course, there was something drastically and depressingly different about it at that particular moment. Zack wasn't there with him.
After spending what felt like an eternity at LAX in California, Cody finally found himself back in Boston at about quarter past eleven that same night. He unzipped his colourful, new jacket that London had given him all those days ago and simply tossed it onto his bed, his mind still aswarm with thoughts of Zack, Bailey and Nate. They all combined to cause a throbbing ache that erupted in the back of his skull.
Cody slowly allowed his eyes to become sensitised to the other half of his bedroom as he looked up to where Zack's camouflage covered bed was glaring back at him. It all seemed so out of place. Carey had obviously been keeping her boys' room clean while they were gone as the older twin's bed was made perfectly without a single wrinkle in the bedspread. Part of Cody wanted to run over and jump on it, messing it up for lack of not resembling his brother anymore, but the other part of him didn't want to allow himself to go that insane. Not yet, anyway.
Snapping out of his deep trance, Cody blinked as he could hear Carey shuffling around in the lounge room, more than likely simply busying herself with something - anything - to keep her mind off Zack.
From the very moment that Cody and his parents had left Newberry General hospital up until the time that they had landed back in Boston, Carey and Kurt had been arguing with each other as worse as Cody had ever heard them. From what the younger twin could gather, Carey was upset at Kurt, and blaming him, for giving her false hope about Zack. Kurt had retaliated by blatantly ordering Carey to move on like he was planning to - that neither of them, nor Cody, were ever going to move on with their lives if they continued to grieve for Zack rather than celebrate and remember him.
That had been about all Cody could take before he snapped at the both of them, telling them that there was nothing to mourn over at all because Zack was still alive. The patronizing reply he had received from his father had intentionally caused Cody to tell him not to come back to the hotel with he and Carey, and as much as Kurt had protested that he wanted to make sure his younger son was going to be ok, Cody had remained persistent. The only thing now, however, was that he was stuck with no-one to lean on except his immensely miserable mother.
"Cody?" Carey's voice croaked as she gently pushed open the boys' bedroom door and peered in around the corner. She felt her heart stop for a second or two as she caught the image of Cody standing in the room alone glancing at Zack's bed through his red-rimmed eyes.
"Cody?" she repeated, "Are you hungry at all, baby? Is there anything you want?"
Cody sighed to himself. He knew deep down that Carey was simply trying to be the best mother she possibly could given the particular circumstances, but the only person that the younger twin wanted near him as much as Zack at that moment was Bailey. And both Carey and Nadia had made it clear that Cody and Bailey wouldn't be seeing each other for a long time.
"Actually… I just want to be on my own, Mum," Cody countered, tenderly rejecting her offer.
Nodding her head at a lack of what there possibly was to say, Carey then simply wiped her own tear stained eyes and kissed Cody softly on the forehead, "Alright then sweetie. Try to get some sleep."
In a sick way, Cody felt like laughing the precise second that Carey had left the room. 'Try to get some sleep', he repeated to himself.
Yeah, right.
Taking in a deep breath, the younger twin soon forced himself to direct his eyes away from Zack's side of their bedroom as he took a few cautious steps over to the large window that sat at the front of the room. The image of the night sky and the heavens above shot an eerie shiver up Cody's spine. While it had merely been the morning just gone where Cody had been completely hypnotised by the glory of the stars and planets above, he found himself in that particular moment gazing up into space and thinking of nothing but Zack - just as he imagined he would.
Swallowing back a chunk of what he only suspected were more heart-retching tears, Cody exhaled another heaving sigh and blinked a couple of times, continuing to stare at the gleaming, glistening stars above.
"Where are you, Zack?"
The long, draining minutes continued to tick the by the next morning as Cody lay in bed staring up at the pale, white ceiling above his head. For about the past twenty minutes – at the least – Cody had been trying to recall whether or not he had actually fallen asleep the night before. It was becoming agonizingly difficult to take notice of anything he did anymore, considering how messed up his sleeping pattern as well as everything else he did in his day to day life had become.
Pushing this thought aside, Cody rolled over in his bed and stared at the glowing numbers of his digital clock that glared back at him. He frowned as he saw that it was well after one in the afternoon and Carey was yet to make an appearance in an attempt to get him out of bed. It seemed that both of them were acting so strangely and unlike themselves. Considering the circumstances, however, as Zack's image once again flew through Cody's mind, the younger twin supposed their lack of typical characteristics was more than understandable.
Cody's head spun as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed. His brain was throbbing with a cluster of dull thoughts. Obviously, he couldn't stop thinking about Zack, but as well as this, he missed Bailey like hell and he was trying as much as humanly possible to remain true to his own word by holding back his grievances for Nate until he found his brother. It was quickly becoming clear to the younger twin, however, that the latter was certainly a lot easier said than done.
As a reluctant sigh escaped his lips, Cody then stood up and walked towards his bedroom door, not exactly feeling overly excited to see or speak to his mother. He was feeling lifeless enough without having to put up with Carey's depressed and despondent attitude, not to mention listen to her speak about Zack as if he was dead.
A small smile of relief crept across Carey's features as she looked over to the other side of the room at the sound of Cody's bedroom door creaking open. The awkwardness of the situation quickly took over, however, as Carey realised that as the beaming expression fell from her face, she had absolutely no idea what to say to her son.
Stifling a nervous gulp, Carey felt her breath hitch as her eyes locked with Cody's, "Hi, baby," she offered lamely.
Cody pushed his hair out of his face, "Hey."
The sound of the younger twin's voice made Carey's heart skip a beat in reprieve, "How are you feeling? Are you hungry?"
Walking over to the lounge room, Cody took a seat on the arm of the chair, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. He was getting really sick of that question, so much so that he sort of wished that Carey would ask him if he was ok. At least then he'd be able to laugh again.
"No, Mum, I'm not hungry."
Carey sighed, "Come on, Cody, how long has it been since you've had a proper meal?"
Cody's brow creased as an answer to Carey's rhetoric question instantly flashed through his mind. Six days, he thought, or perhaps more than that. All Cody knew was that six days ago he had been on the S.S. Tipton with Bailey planning a romantic breakfast with her only to have Zack ruin it by climbing up into the crow's nest of the ship. A dark irony clawed at Cody's insides to think that that was only the second most dangerous thing that had happened to Zack that day.
Thinking twice about revealing his inner-most feelings, Cody simply shook his head, "Just forget about it, ok?" he sniped. The younger twin then set a stern-faced gaze at the confused features of Carey's face where she sat at the kitchen table flicking mindlessly through a magazine. "You might be able to act like everything's normal, but I can't."
The snapping reply from her youngest son plucked against Carey's heartstrings in a sharp, hurtful twinge as the perplexity on her face grew while Cody turned on his heels and headed back to his room.
"Cody?" she called softly, yet to no avail. "Cody?" she repeated, standing up from her chair, "Cody, come and talk to me."
"Why?" the younger twin barked just as cruelly, "Do you actually think you can try and convince me that everything's normal?"
Carey frowned, "Don't you think I know that this isn't normal, Cody?"
"It's not just this, though," Cody argued, waving his arms around to emphasise the 'this', "It's you, it's Dad, it's everyone!"
"And you don't think you're acting a little out of character, either?"
Ignoring his mother's retort, Cody's face suddenly softened, "It was you who was convinced that Zack and I had a case of folie a deux when we were thirteen, remember?"
The memory caused Carey to shrink away and direct her vision off of Cody, trying to disregard his claim as he fiercely prolonged.
"You said that we both had the same dream about that crazy parallel dimension at the same time. We've always been able to tell when the other was hurt or upset or angry," he went on, his voice cracking, "but now you're saying that you don't believe me when I know with every inch of my being that my brother is alive!"
Shaking her head, Carey struggled to keep her tears within her as she tried to understand where this outburst of anger from her son had come from, "You're not thinking logically, Cody. You're… this is just your way of grieving, there's no other way to explain it! Why are you so angry all of a sudden?"
"Because you're not listening to me," Cody snapped with a scoff, "I was dealing with it just fine until you found it necessary to start trying to take my mind off of him. I'm not going insane, Mum, I know I'm not."
Another grunt of disbelief escaped Cody's lips as he watched Carey intently while she shook her head again and wiped a fresh set of tears from her eyes.
"So you still don't believe me?" he challenged.
The desolate silence that enveloped the suite said nothing to Cody but an implied 'no'. Quickly racing into his bedroom and grabbing his jacket to conceal his pyjama top, Cody then slipped his shoes on at the front door and ripped it open.
"You're just like Dad."
Carey flinched and allowed a painful sob to crack at the back of her throat as Cody slammed the door behind him and disappeared down the corridor of the twenty-third floor.
The younger twin had no idea where he was going, and frankly, he didn't care. All those who had been on his side were gone, and he was alone. Completely alone - and there was no way in hell that he was going to sit around in the dismal suite with the company of his disheartened mother all day and be forced to listen to the fictitious speculation that Zack was dead.
He hadn't even stopped to comprehend how long he had been out walking the streets for, but when Cody rounded one of the corners of downtown Boston and sensed his eyes widen at the image of his old school friends standing before him, he figured that it would've had to have been a couple of hours.
The younger twin felt as if he was frozen in time for the shortest of seconds as he took in the picture of Max, Bob and Barbara all standing at the other end of the block, simply gazing in disbelief back at him.
Cursing slightly under his breath, Cody turned on his heels, hoping that they hadn't particularly noticed him, but only groaned inwardly as he heard the shrill voice of his and Zack's tom-boy friend, Max, echoing his name up the road.
"Cody!" she repeated, gradually catching up to him.
Panting heavily, Max tilted her head as she examined her old friend standing before her - Cody doing the same. Her hair was a lot longer than he remembered, and while she was still dressed in a pair of denim shorts and a baggy t-shirt as she had always tended, Cody couldn't help but take note of just how much of a beautiful young woman Max had grown into.
Swallowing hard, Cody then opened his mouth to speak, "Max," he said plainly.
The young brunette cocked a concerned eyebrow, "That's it? A year and a half you've been away and that's it? Just 'Max'?"
"Cody!" came the unison cry from the younger twin's other two friends, as Bob and Barbara made their eventual approach, arm in arm.
Cody took a moment to cringe at the memory of his ex-girlfriend and his ex-best friend becoming a couple the second that he had left Boston on the ship. He recalled how shocked and hurt he had been by the betrayal, but soon shook his head at his own thoughts as they were instead replaced with the images of his beautiful Southern Belle.
"Hey guys," he put forward blankly.
The blonde twin forced himself not to laugh softly to himself for a minute or two as he allowed his vision to trace Bob and Barbara up and down, observing that neither of them had changed that much since he had last seen them on the ship. He at least took the pride in himself that he had done a lot of remodelling on both his appearance and personality since he was fourteen - even if his old friends hadn't.
"How are you doing, Cody?" Barbara then asked with a nervous tone.
Cody rolled his eyes. He knew it would only be a matter of time before the questions about Zack started rolling in, but unluckily for his old Cheevers' friends, he wasn't particularly in the most up-beat of moods.
"I'm…" Cody paused for a moment, hesitating over his answer, "I'm dealing with it. That's all the matters."
"Word is you're in denial," Bob accidentally spat out, earning himself a slap in the chest from his girlfriend.
An amused smirk crossed Cody's face, "Is that what they're calling it?"
Shooting Bob a filthy glare, Max turned her attention back to Cody. She remained silent for a second or two, completely unsure of what to say, "Nobody thinks that about you," she said reassuringly. There was another brief quiet before a small smile glided across Max's lips, "You look great, Cody. It's so good to see you again."
As Barbara and Bob nodded their heads in the background, Cody returned Max's gesture. Amongst all his feelings of angst and uncertainty, it surprised him how genuine Max's words sounded. It definitely wasn't what he had been expecting upon returning home and leaving all those who he felt to be his true friends behind.
"Thanks," he replied gently.
The beam on Max's face grew with the sparkle in her eye, "Look, we were going to go down to the market and get a drink, or something. It'd be great if you could come and catch up with us." The brunette dancer frowned as Cody looked doubtful at her request, "We don't have to talk about Zack if you don't want to," she added boldly.
While the pair of friends standing off to the side seemingly winced at the mention of the older twin, Cody looked to the ground and grinned to himself again, respecting Max's bravado in bringing up Zack's name. Even so, the younger twin was still hesitant.
"Max… I don't know, I mean, I left my place to be on my own and I just don't think that…"
The three teens all waited for Cody to continue talking, but simultaneously came to a bewildered standstill as the younger twin totally trailed off, his vision cast straight ahead of him, beyond his friends. Spinning around exceptionally slowly, a menacing glower swiftly crossed Max's face as she spotted the Drew Crew advancing on the opposite end of Cody's beeline of sight. Barbara and Bob were soon doing the same as Cody gulped subtly to himself.
Drew had certainly grown into a much bigger boy since Cody had left, but a desperate feeling in the pit of his empty stomach told him that the bully's looming stance was going to be the least of his worries.
"Well, look who's back," Drew laughed callously, "It's Clone Two!"
Cody scoffed quietly to himself as the rest of Drew's thugs chuckled brashly, still - somehow - finding the four year old joke funny.
"What do you want Drew?" Cody challenged bravely.
"Just wanted to see how you were doing," Drew shot back sarcastically, "Heard you hit a bit of a tidal wave while you've been away."
Gritting his teeth, Cody clenched his fists in his pockets as Max stepped forward, "Get out of here, Drew!"
"Yeah," Bob chimed in, "He's gone through enough without you trying to make him feel any worse!"
"Make him feel worse?" Drew mimicked cynically, "Were you not listening to me before? I just want to make sure the little guy's ok."
"I'm a little bigger than what I was when I left, Drew," Cody sniped, "And I've been through more than even you could ever imagine."
The Drew Crew snickered amongst themselves as Drew took back the lead, "So, you care to share any of that knowledge with us? Or are you gonna wait until you come back to school?"
"Haven't decided if I'm coming back at all yet."
"Gee, that's a shame," the bully continued. In a final moment of pure brutality, a sinister smile etched its way across Drew's lips, "That'll leave me with two less people to pick on, right? Maybe your brother should've learnt how to swim before setting off to sea."
As a slowing world filled with shocked, horrified gasps and an evil array of maniac laughter reverberated against the deep depths of Cody's shaken and damaged core, the younger twin then blinked away the fierce, sudden tears that stung the corners of his eyes and impulsively acted on a sharp thought that flashed through his mind.
Block with your left arm and then swing up from underneath with your right.
As Drew recoiled brusquely from the devastating connection of Cody's fist to his face, the rest of the bully's crew instantly jumped in, ready to gnash and claw at the boy daring - or stupid - enough to take on their fearless leader. Barbara shrieked in surprise as Max and Bob both wretched forward and pulled Cody away, stubbornly ignoring the blood trickling from his knuckles.
"Cody!" Max yelled at him in shock.
"What are you doing, man?" Bob asked in correspondence.
Spitting a wad of blood out of his mouth, Drew gazed up at the seething image of Cody in great trepidation. His lip trembled in pain while Max and Bob both struggled to hold Cody back.
"Get out of here, Drew," Max warned, watching with some slim satisfaction as the rest of the crew helped up their so-called valiant and courageous leader and ran off up the block, around the corner and out of sight.
The second that they were gone, Bob let go of Cody while Max shoved him away with a burst of sceptical anger, "What is your problem?" she sniped without a seconds' thought.
"Oh, come on, Max!" Cody yelled, "You and I both know he's deserved a punch in the mouth since we were twelve."
"So, what makes you the one to give it to him?"
"Because he was being a jerk about my brother!" Cody thundered. His breath was heavy as it filled, emptied and re-filled his lungs, and a line of sweat was running down his face, past his temples as they pumped with adrenalin.
A surge of grieving pain had jolted through his heart at the thought of Nate, just as the lighting bolt had buzzed sharply into the side of his older friend's hair. Cody had never thought he would ever have to actually utilise all the combat that Nate had taught him, least of all against Drew, just the same as he never thought he would ever meet someone so incredibly amazing - and then lose them just as quickly.
Max watched Cody intently as his attention was supposedly going off on a tangent and tenderly licked her lips, "Where has all this anger come from?" she asked, echoing Carey's words, "We just want to help you, Cody."
Though Cody wished that he was able to answer Max's question and explain why he was filled with so much erupting rage, the younger twin's glaring eyesight fell swiftly upon his friends, causing the three Boston teens to heave a breath in surprise, "Help me?" Cody reiterated in astonishment, "You mean in the same way that Bob and Barbara hooked up behind my back the second that I was gone?"
Bob jeered in deep offence. "That's not fair, Cody," Barbara argued.
"And you think that any of this that's happened to me is fair?" Cody disputed, "My brother is missing, I'm hundreds of miles away from my girlfriend, I'm not talking to my dad, my mum's trying to convince me that everything's normal and now you guys have the audacity to call yourselves my real friends?"
A sharp silence fell between the group as Cody slowly began to walk backwards, his breathing still heavy while he took in each of the hurt expressions that were staring hard back at him, "How often did I even get a phone call from any of you guys?"
Max merely rolled her eyes indifferently at the insult, "Cody, look, we know you've lost the person who was pretty much your best friend, but - "
"No!" Cody interjected sternly. He froze and blinked away another warm, salty tear from his eye, "My best friend isn't lost or missing. He's dead."
A confused and mystified persona expanded amongst the silence as Barbara clenched tightly onto Bob's hand and Max raised a suspicious eyebrow, "But… I thought you were, like, convinced that Zack was - "
"I'm not talking about Zack," Cody croaked, interrupting his friend for a second time as the depressing illustration of Nate painfully flew across his mind.
As he then exchanged a final glance between he and his former companions, Cody swallowed harshly and wished silently to himself that they could simply begin to fathom just how miraculous a best friend Nate had been to him. How much he had taught him and supported him through his lowest possible moments. But as the realisation of just how impossible that was continued to seep through the younger twin's soul, as well his ever-growing grief and anguish for his best friend, Cody merely wiped his eyes and then did the only thing he could think of doing. He ran.
Hello everybody! Who missed me? :)
So... it seems Cody isn't exactly having a happy time being back in Boston, and he is still as sure as ever that Zack is alive. What will happen next?, Where is he running to?, Will he get to speak to Bailey or Kurt again?, And, is Zack actaully alive? So many questions...
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, as well as Nate's tips allowing Cody to thump Drew in the mouth. I certainly did :) Reviews are much appreciated :) Be well guys, till next time!
Reneyyyyyyyyy x.