Chapter Seventeen: The Full Monty
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Is that the door?" Regina asked.
"Probably the kids jumping about above us," Robin said dismissively.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"There is definitely someone knocking," she stated.
"So let them knock, Regina," he said, kissing her neck enticingly. "Stay here with me. We can do some knocking of our own."
She hummed and leaned into his touch, their naked bodies dripping wet from the water falling from the shower head. And he did look impossibly sexier when his muscles were wet. She pulled his face hard to hers in a passionate kiss, deciding he was right. Whoever it was would go away eventually.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Oh bloody hell," Robin groaned, dropping his forehead on her shoulder knowing Regina wouldn't be able to ignore it.
"I'll be quick," she stood up on the balls of her feet and pressed a peck against his lips.
"I'll be quicker," he said, grabbing hold of her hips suddenly and turning her, pushing her back against the cold tiles of the shower wall. She laughed and then bit her lip as he stared down at her, hunger burning in his eyes.
"I don't want you to be quick," she whispered seductively, leaning up and biting down on his ear lobe.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
He moaned and clenched his fist as he backed away so she could step out of the tub. Regina stood on the mat in front of the shower, not even bothering with her towel as she reached for her robe hanging on the rack.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.
"How many knocks does it take for someone to get the hint?" She murmured to herself as she hurried down the hall. She pulled open the door in a frustrated huff and scoffed at the sight before her.
"Regina! There you are," Neal exclaimed.
"Finally," Emma said shaking her head.
Emma Swan was the definition of a NY cop: tough, blunt, and ready to help others, regardless of the risk. She had long blonde hair with loose waves when it wasn't pulled back into a tight bun for work. She favored tight jeans and v-necks, never leaving her apartment without a leather jacket.
She was Regina's neighbor in the apartment just a floor below her. They'd met quite a few times when Henry was 11 and had run away. At first, Emma was the officer on duty when she got called to Apartment 13. She offered Regina her phone number and told her to call or knock on the door any time. And the brunette definitely did.
They became fast friends when Regina made apple turnovers as a 'thank you' for helping her find Henry time and time again. They'd meet together for lunch if the officer was Uptown or go to the movies every once in a while. They saw a lot less of each other in recent weeks; mostly due to her promotion to detective and their blossoming relationships with Robin and Neal. But the distance started even before that, because of the incident with Graham...
Regina stood in the doorframe with her arms across her chest, her hair dripping down her back under her robe. "Detective Swan. Mr. Cassidy. I would say it's a pleasure to see you, but I'd be lying."
"Ouch," Neal grabbed at his chest pulling on his shirt above his heart. "Just crush my heart already, Reg. Stop toying with my feelings this way."
Emma laughed and the brunette rolled her eyes. She absolutely despised being called 'Reg.' 'Gina' she didn't mind so much, although she would prefer the use of her full name. But Reg... Reg was the worst. And she knew that was exactly why the couple insisted on calling her that.
"Alright, well if you just stopped by to say hello then 'hello.' Now go away," she scoffed and tried to shut the door.
"Reggie, wait!" Emma called out. Reggie was even worse. "We didn't know you were busy. Can we come back later?"
"What time is later?" She asked curiously. She wanted to be able to take her time in that steamy shower with that steamy man of hers.
"Any time you want. We have to talk to you about something," the blonde responded.
Regina glanced over at the digital clock on the stove. 10:21. They could come over for lunch, but that was all. It was her last day with Robin before Roland came home and she refused to spend it with Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
"One o'clock," she said quickly, attempting to shut the door again.
"I hope you're kicking us out for steamy shower sex," Emma yelled out as the door was slamming in her face.
"Yeah and not steamy shower masturbation!" Neal added and she heard the couple laughing as they proceeded away from Apartment 13.
Regina chose to ignore their comments as she raced back to the bathroom. She ripped open the door, nearly pulling it off its hinges, when she laughed in surprise from what she saw.
Robin was hidden behind the shower curtain, nothing in particular out of the ordinary. Except, of course, for the fact that he'd poked his penis out the side upon her entry. He'd used shaving cream to create two dots for eyes on his tip, allowing his natural anatomical orifice to become a surprised mouth.
"I missed you, Regina," he spoke through the curtain in a very proper and uppity English dialect, rolling the R in her name as he moved it around. She laughed and hung her robe back on the hook before quietly kneeling down on the mat.
"And I you, Professor," she leaned her head forward, pressing her lips into a gentle kiss on his tip.
It wasn't exactly what Regina expected to return to, but it made her incredibly happy nonetheless.
"So you're the 'Robin' Henry has been telling me so much about," Emma said with a knowing smirk. After many years of tracking the boy, they'd become close. She'd stopped to take him for ice cream a few times on their rides back to Enchanted Plaza, but she caught on that he started making a run for it just for the frozen treat.
"That I am," he said proudly. "All good things, I hope."
"Oh yeah. The kid idolizes you, man," Neal pointed out.
They all relaxed around the kitchen, Regina and Robin standing together against the counter while Emma and Neal sat on the stools. She'd thrown together a salad and some finger sandwiches for their guests, Robin only partaking in salad to avoid the gluten in the bread.
"I was thinking about what your celebrity couple name would be," Neal said, earning a laugh from Emma and an inquisitive head turn from the other couple. "I came up with two: Rogina or Robina. Thoughts?"
"I'm feeling Rogina," the blonde was nearly cackling.
"I have to disagree. Robina has a nice ring to it," Robin said, trying his best to make a connection with the couple.
"That's true. Rogina almost sounds exactly like Regina, but in slow motion," Neal said and the three shared a laugh; the brunette standing still, not very amused.
"So what was so important this morning?" Regina asked, picking the ham off her sandwich and giving it to Robin for a more hearty salad. She ate meat, but only white meat poultry. She didn't realize Neal would commandeer all of the turkey so she made do with the cheese and vegetables between the bread.
"Oh, so Neal and I were stopping by to invite you to a rooftop barbecue," she beamed, clearly more excited than anyone else in the room.
"That's it?" The brunette said, confused as to why that needed to interrupt their shower that morning.
"What do you mean?" Emma chuckled.
"I thought you were going to announce you eloped or that you're pregnant or something, not invite us to dinner," she replied honestly, the blonde glaring at her defensively.
"We appreciate the invitation," Robin cut in, sensing her temper flaring slightly. "When is it?"
"Fourth of July. Bring the kids," Neal said, gratitude toward Robin in his expression for steering the discussion away from the tension between the women.
"And it's potluck so bring something good," Emma chimed in.
"We'll discuss it and let you know," the other woman said simply, biting into her salad then.
Both couples finished their lunch rather quickly, tension growing between the women although both men had no idea exactly why. The guests excused themselves, claiming they had a few errands to run, but Regina didn't question them. Truthfully, she was happy to see them go.
When they were alone, they were quiet for a short time while he helped her clean the kitchen. He didn't feel awkward in any way. Just confused. He wanted to know what was going on so he could better understand her frustration.
"They're an interesting lot," he said, deciding it was the safest thing to say to her.
"To say the least," she spat. Her shortness was not directed at him, he knew that.
"You don't seem too keen on accepting their invitation," he observed, clearing the countertop of dirty dishes and bringing them to the sink for her to wash.
"Not quite."
"May I ask why?" He sensed he was venturing into dangerous territory, but what did he have to lose in taking that conversational risk?
"Emma and I," Regina sighed, trying to release the heat building in her core from the overwhelming terror crashing through her. "We have a history."
"I noticed. Care to elaborate?"
"A complicated history," she said, allowing that to be as much information she was willing to share on the subject. But, of course, that wasn't enough for him.
"Ex-girlfriend?" He joked, hoping that would lift her spirits some. He was happy when it did, catching the smirk she tried to hide behind her anger.
"Wouldn't you like to know," she rolled her eyes and shook her head before continuing. "We just- we had a falling out of sorts. Nothing too serious..."
"You seem to be friendly or, at the very least, civil," Robin offered when she failed to complete her previous sentence.
"Civil is a good way to describe our relationship, I suppose," she replied. "We were friends. And perhaps we still are or could be. But what happened between us was never resolved."
"So you're worried it might come up at the party," he stated, finally understanding what was bothering her.
"No, I know it will," she sighed, placing the last dish in the machine before wiping her hands.
"I don't know what happened and honestly, it doesn't bother me if you never wish to tell me. However, it shouldn't be a burden on you. I think we should attend, socialize. Make the best of it. And if you feel uncomfortable, we can leave," he suggested.
"I don't know..."
"At least try," he stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her in a comforting embrace. "If not for yourself, for me. I'd like the opportunity to know these people. I moved in nearly two months ago and until today, the only other tenant I've met is you."
Regina placed her head into his chest with a deep exhale. She had to do this whether she wanted to or not because he needed this. She had to try, for him.
"But what will I bring?"
"There she is," Robin laughed at her question and kissed her lips softly. "There's my love."
Later that evening, the couple changed and headed for The Luck O' The Irish Pub, the same bar they went to that first night after his lecture. It had only been two months, but it seemed like so much longer; like they'd known one another for centuries. And maybe they had known one another at some point. Perhaps that's why it was so easy.
Robin's brother, John, and his band were the entertainment at the pub that night. Considering their children wouldn't be home until later the following morning, they thought it would be a pleasant way to close out their week. They arrived at the bar around ten, the place swarming with patrons. Unable to find a table, they took it upon themselves to lean against the wall near the left side of the bar; providing them with a perfect view of the stage.
Regina sipped her Washington Apple with a smile directed toward her lover, nostalgia seeping into her heart in the familiar setting. His arm was tight around her waist, his beer nearly empty in his free hand. He seemed anxious, but she found it rather charming. She didn't know what it was like to have a sibling to support and bond with the way Robin seemed to do with John. It was bittersweet and just another aspect of him that she adored.
"Top o' the mornin' ya drunken fools," a man shouted from the stage. He was another Englishman and Regina found it humorous that there were so many living in the city. He had very short, light brown hair and was much thinner than the other men although he seemed to be just as toned. His accent was much thicker than Robin's; reminding her of The Beatles during their Liverpool days.
The band consisted of the man currently standing at the forefront, John, and a handsome looking fellow with dark brown hair and a beard to match, wearing more jewelry and eyeliner than Regina accompanied with more black leather than one would expect to see this time of year.
"You blokes ready?" The crowd cheered and she couldn't help, but feel excited. She couldn't remember the last time she saw a live show; in fact, she didn't think she'd ever seen one in a bar like this. "Oi, give it up for The Merry Men!"
Suddenly, Robin pulled her into his arms and kissed her. It took her by surprise, but before she could say anything he was walking to the stage, picking up a guitar, and strapping it around his body. She was in complete shock as the men took their places and the crowd hollered: John strummed his bass for one final check, the pirate (which she referred to him as until she learned his name) stepped up to a microphone off to the side with a guitar in his hands, and the announcer moved to his seat behind the drums. Robin took his place at the edge of the stage to the lead microphone.
Music filled the bar and the place burst into an uproar of excitement, drunken men spilling their beer as they cheered and women clapping their hands to the song. Regina was frozen to her place against the wall, sure that this was a dream and she would wake at any given moment. But after a few songs, she was still there, very much awake as her lover's beautiful singing voice flowed through her ears.
The first few were upbeat, keeping the audience entertained. Regina's surprise finally subsided and she found herself clapping along, swaying to the sound of each song. At the end of the last piece, she jumped and yelled for Robin, blushing when she realized what she had done. He looked in her direction and winked, stepping closer so he could say a few words before their next jam.
"Oi, shut it, ya legless wankers," he said, part of the act no doubt, but something about it gave Regina the chills. He was sexy up there, taking charge as the lead of a band. And she had him all to herself. "We have two songs left in the set, but first I want to introduce you to the band. On bass is John Locksley. Ya got Will Scarlet rockin' the drums. And that there is Killian Jones on backup guitar and vocals."
"And this here's Robin Hood," Will shouted as he stood on his stool, the crowd responding with laughter and applause.
"Get stuffed!" He yelled to the drummer with a chuckle before returning his attention to the audience. "This next one is new so don't fall arse over tit when you hear it. I wrote it about two months ago after meeting a very special lady."
"Beautiful, no doubt?" A man yelled from the crowd and Robin shook his head.
"Breathtaking, mate," he said softly and she felt her face growing hot. He didn't look at her, but he didn't have to; she knew he was speaking directly to her now. "She takes my breath away more than I care to admit, but this is for her. She deserves more than a love song in a cheeky pub, but I suppose it'll do until we book The Garden."
"Bob's your uncle!" The same drunken fool from earlier shouted as the crowd barked with laughter. Regina joined them, her smile so wide and giddy; she felt young and alive, happy and cherished. But most of all, she felt so incredibly loved.
"Any road, we'll play this song and then you'll get the Full Monty, alright?" They responded with hoots and hollers and he chuckled as they quieted down. "Right, so without further ado, here's Outlaw Queen."
The band played and Robin sang, the lyrics coming straight from his heart and soul directly into hers. The words hit her so hard, nearly knocking her when they were combined with his melodious voice.
She's an Outlaw Queen
She stole my heart from me
Oh, I took my aim
Her heart was mine to claim
But my arrow flew askew
She said, "You can't steal something that's been given to you."
Regina loved this man. With her entire being. And she knew he felt the same way as he sang their song, his blue eyes never parting from hers even long after it ended.
A/N: Hi friends! I know I used a lot of British slang in this chapter and not all of us are familiar with the terminology. With that being said, below you will find a list of the terms and their meanings to better assist you while you're reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always, leave comments with your thoughts. Much love! Xoxo.
- Any road: "any way"
- "Bob's your uncle!": "There you go" or "You've got it!"
- Cheeky: to not be respectful of something
- "Fall arse over tit": to topple over
- "The Full Monty": to go all the way with something, to go big or go home
- "Get stuffed!": "Beat it!"
- Legless: totally hammered
- Wanker: derogatory term for male masturbators