It's not my fault, it's Withgirl's fault but I'll try to be more consistent next time.
This chapter officially marks this as an angst monster story. There's your warning.
Enjoy.
Like always Emma did the dishes but as of late Regina insisted on being the one to get Tamsin ready for bed and Emma never complained, at least not anymore. Every argument she'd started with her wife had resulted in a distraught Tamsin taking forever to calm down. So she washed the dishes without argument and snuck in to kiss her goodnight.
Just as she finished the last of the silverware, the sound of her wife's footsteps coming echoed the room.
"Tamsin's asleep. Henry has another hour; he's working on his history paper."
"It's not last minute, is it?" Emma asked, just to make conversation but she didn't turn around and kept her back to her wife.
"No. It's due next Thursday."
"Well…that's good."
"Emma, thank you," Regina started softly. "For a peaceful night. It's been a long time since we've had a nice dinner."
"Agreed."
"Where are you off to tonight?" Regina asked harshly. She winced at her tone but didn't have time to correct it before Emma finally turned around and looked at her.
"We've gone all day without arguing, let's not start now just because the kids aren't here." Regina tried to interrupt but she just raised her hand to stop her, "I'm not going anywhere tonight but I understand nothing is fixed between us. So I won't make you uncomfortable. I'll sleep on the couch."
"I-"
"I'm really tired Regina," Emma said side stepping her in attempt to leave the kitchen. "We can talk in the morning."
Regina thought to stop her and insist on having the conversation then but the blonde was right in there being no point to start a yelling match now so she let her go. She turned off the light and walk towards the stairs, spotting the blonde disappearing into the bathroom.
Out of curiosity, she waited and after twenty minutes the woman came out dress in pajamas. Something Regina wouldn't admit to anyone was that she was disappointed with the savior's change in clothing. As opposed to Emma's normal mix matched top and bottoms, the Dark One actually wore pajamas that matched. They weren't silk but they were plain and really not her wife's tastes.
"Goodnight, Regina," Emma said in passing on her way to the living room.
The brunette started her walk up the stairs without so much as a glance, "Goodnight."
Emma watched her go wondering if it would've been okay to at least kiss her goodnight. It was always on the cheek or forehead but maybe it wasn't appropriate considering their situation. She shook her head and walked to the living room where suddenly she honestly wished she'd never have to be but she still proceeded to lay down on the couch. She laid on her back, hands clasped together at her waist, not bothering pull the blanket any further than her stomach. Instead of sleeping she laid awake staring at the dark ceiling. She did it every night. The voices got louder at night so there was only time for a few hours of sleep. But that wasn't the excuse she used when she woke up irritable and annoyed.
Hours passed as they usual did, no sleep mercifully taking her. An hour after midnight her ears twitched at the sound of the one creaking board on the fifth step from the bottom of the stairs.
"Henry?" Emma questioned.
"Mommy," Tamsin answered instead appearing the doorway dressed yellow and pink dinosaur pants and shirt, holding a stuffed dog Emma had won for her during the fall festival two years ago.
"Tamsin what are you doing out of bed? You're supposed to be sleeping," Emma said trying to avoid having the little blonde ask why she was sleeping, or not sleeping, down here.
"There was monster," she reasoned adamantly coming over to the couch and climbing up to sit right on her mother's legs. Emma hesitantly sat up on her elbows.
"A monster where?"
"Under my bed."
"Tam, the only monsters under your bed are the little dinosaurs you haven't picked up." The little blonde pouted and folded her arms.
"Why are you sleeping here mommy?" Emma sighed internally at the question.
"Um…momma isn't feeling well so I'm giving her some space."
"But you said hugs and kisses make everything better."
"Sometimes they do Tamsin but not now."
"But you're all alone mommy," her daughter pointed out and Emma gave her sad look because she didn't know how true that statement really was. There was no stopping the darkness sometimes but pulling her family in wasn't something she was willing to do, especially not the little blonde girl sitting in her lap now.
"The couch isn't so bad, monkey."
"The monsters?" Tamsin asked changing the subject on her mother.
Emma sighed knowing that she was supposed to feel like a guest in her own home now. Still she scooped the blonde up and carried her up the stairs.
Regina opened her eyes at the beam of light shining through her bedroom window and quickly closed them, turning over to press herself into the warm body normally next to hers. When she moved into an empty spot in the bed her eyes snapped open in a panic for the absent blonde until she remembered watching the blonde trudge to the couch the night before. She sighed and got up to get ready for her day.
Stoically walking to the bathroom leaving her wedding ring on the counter next to the sink as she slipped into the shower. Considering all the stress and tiredness running through her body, she pushed the handle all the way to the blue side and stepped in almost immediately after.
Under the cold spray she tried not to think about all the memories she had with Emma in this very bathroom. Several not so appropriate memories but there was one of the most important conversations that happened there. Right in the middle of a cold shower right after she had just recovered from the flu is when Emma burst into the bathroom holding a pregnancy test, giving them Tamsin. Yes, she may have nearly fell in the shower but it was one of the most memorable moments she'd ever have.
Though they were good memories they also served as a reminder that outside her occasional cold showers, her family and her marriage were ripping at the seams. She scrubbed away the thoughts quickly and exited the shower and swiftly dressing to start breakfast downstairs.
She made one mistake, however, not purposely, but still a mistake. Unknowingly, with her mind preoccupied with everything that was going wrong, she forgot her wedding ring on the counter and continued out of her bedroom.
The brunette walked down the stairs and to the living room planning on having a talk with her wife. Honestly, she dreaded having to do it but maybe it was a bit her fault for causing Emma to leave from the last dinner. It took a while but she realized she had just told her wife, who's battling the darkness for her, that she doesn't believe in her. Now that she recognized her error the last thing she wanted was to having Emma thinking that of all things. Although her remorse vanished as she came across the empty room, couch absent of the blonde. Her shoulders tensed and she decided to go wake up the children instead before she could give a thought to the woman who was seemingly only finding solutions in running away.
Marching into her youngest child's room she stopped short at the sight of her wife curled up in the bed most definitely made for a five-year-old with Tamsin held protectively in her arms. She smiled softly at the sight, this not being the first time their daughter had coerced her blonde mother into sleeping in the small bed with her.
The Dark One holding, a bit tightly, onto your daughter.
The thought sobered her and her smile fell away. Not once in her lifetime would she have the Dark One in close contact with her daughter but the thought that this Dark One was her wife and her friend and the mother of both her children was conflicting. Still the brunette walked over to the bed and gently grabbed the sleeping little blonde from Emma's grasp. Tamsin stirred only slightly but Emma's brow seemed to crease in what looked like pain for a moment. Regina noticed the dark circles around her eyes and sighed.
She hasn't been sleeping.
But she's the Dark one…
Regina shook her head at the thoughts watching Emma shift causing the arm she had wrapped around Tamsin dangle off the edge and her hand opened, a small dinosaur toy slipping from her fingers. Her eyes followed it as it roughly bounced off Henry's storybook laying under Emma's hand. She turned away and walked out of the room with Tamsin asleep on her shoulder and her thumb in her mouth. She knocked on Henry's door and the teenager swung the door open only to have his baby sister thrust into his chest.
"What's happening?" He frowned but took Tamsin anyway. He was nearly done dressing only needing to finish up his button up shirt over his white t-shirt.
"Nothing. Just get your sister some orange juice," Regina said distractedly looking to Tamsin's room. Henry saw the action and his frown deepened.
"Mom, Tamsin is still asleep."
"She'll be awake in minute."
"Ma's in there isn't she?" He questioned.
"Henry-"
"She's still Tamsin's mom too. She wouldn't hurt her."
"I know that Henry."
"Do you really?" he asked but didn't wait for her answer and walked the little blonde down the stairs.
Regina inhaled sharply before walking back to Tamsin's room. She found Emma sitting on the edge of the small bed turning the dinosaur toy over in her hands with the Storybook in her lap. The blonde sat the toy down on the nightstand next to the table lamp.
"What are you doing in here Emma?" She asked her wife, completely forgetting that only a few minutes ago she wanted to apologize for what she said.
"She had come down the stairs really late in the night and I read her a bedtime story. She offered to share her bed with me."
"You're confined to the couch for a reason."
"Because you don't want to sleep near me. She still wants me around."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Regina questioned crossing her arms.
"Nothing, Regina. Just nothing," Emma sighed, putting the book down on the bed as she got up and walked to the door. She passed by the brunette without saying another word except to ask, "Am I still allowed to take a shower in our bathroom?"
"You don't need permission for that."
"Just checking," Emma mumbled walking towards their bedroom. Regina followed her out of the room but turned in the opposite direction, throwing over her shoulder, "Breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes."
Emma walked into the bedroom that now felt almost foreign but she didn't think too much on it. Her main focus being a scolding hot shower to drown out the cold biting at her insides. She took her steps with determination into the bathroom.
Her eyes were focused on the shower handle but a flash of gold in the corner of her eye stopped her in her tracks. She turned slowly to the wedding ring sitting on the marble counter. Her eyes widened sadly and she picked up the ring feeling as if there really was no way for her to win against the darkness.
She'd lose Regina if she had let the darkness take her and she was sure she was now losing her wife by taking the darkness to save her.
Arthur's head dropped from his hand and the force made him blink his eyes open.
Realizing that he must have been going through this book all night, he snapped it shut and his hand subconsciously fell to the sheathed sword at his side.
Even if no one in Camelot ever found out about the true state of Excalibur, he knew that it would forever weigh on his mind if he were to try and rule his kingdom with the half sword.
As much as Guinevere urged him to forget his 'pointless endeavor' he had made it his life's work to find the missing section known as the dagger of the Dark One. All he had accomplished so far was finding the ritual he would need to be able to make the sword whole.
It seemed simple enough and if what he knew about the nature of the darkness were true, he couldn't imagine that it would be too difficult to convince them to do it. The heart of the True Love of the one bound by the dagger and a symbol of that True Love was all he would need and they would no longer be tethered to the weapon.
The only problem he was facing was the fact that he had no idea who or where the Dark One was.
He had heard reports of Rumpelstiltskin terrorizing Mist Haven, but that was long before his time. He had no way of knowing if he still held the mantle of Dark One, and even if he did, the Evil Queen's curse was common knowledge across many continents. He knew that the dagger was no longer in this realm and it was more than frustrating to think that there may be no way to find it.
He stood from his chair and decided that some breakfast couldn't hurt, it wasn't like he was any closer to finding the information than he was eight hours ago.
The king was halfway down the corridor when he heard the distinctive sound of someone running in armor, "Your majesty," the guard called.
Arthur groaned audibly, mostly because he felt as though his exhaustion would begin invading his senses at any moment, but he turned around nonetheless and looked at the man expectantly, "What is it?"
"We have news from the Enchanted Forest, your majesty," he bowed.
"That's impossible," he sighed, "I traveled to Mist Haven, there was not a soul there."
"Forgive my presumptions, My King, but I don't believe that you traveled the entirety of the land. There was a cluster of people who remained there after the Dark Curse."
"Was?" Arthur sighed.
"It would appear that the curse was broken and re-cast, your majesty, but there was one who chose not to remain in this new land known as Storybrooke…"
The brunette nodded slowly, allowing his tired mind to register what this meant, before his eyes widened and he asked, "Who?"
"Her name is Ruby Lucas, as a lycanthrope, she was unable to resist attacking a member of the royal guard during Wolfstime…"
Arthur nodded slowly before he furrowed his brow, "She just offered this information?"
"The captain suggested the use of a truth serum, My Liege, for the next hour she will not be able to answer any question untruthfully…"
Without need for further discussion, Arthur turned on his heels and walked off in the direction of the interrogation chamber. The moment he burst into the room, the brunette bound to the chair instantly growled at him, he just ignored this and turned to the man sat across of her, "I can handle this captain."
"Yes, Your Majesty," the man replied with a slight bow and he dutifully left the king and wolf alone.
"I won't tell you anything," the former waitress announced as the man fell into the chair in front of her.
"I think you mean that you don't want to tell me anything, but I'm afraid that you have no choice. Now tell me how I can travel to the land of Storybrooke."
Emma took a deep breath and attempted to make her feet move, she had an appointment to keep, but there was something stopping her from just going to Archie's office.
Usually, she refused to acknowledge what was stopping her from facing her feelings, but in this moment, she knew exactly what was standing in her way. Or more specifically, who was stopping her.
A high pitched giggle sounded throughout the clearing of the forest and she scowled deeply at the spirit of the former Dark One, "are you really this against me going to therapy?"
"Your will is your own, dearie," Rumpelstiltskin shot back, "but then again, I am a part of you, so I suppose the only thing stopping you is you."
Emma began pacing back and forth, refusing to look at the insufferable imp whom she had spent far too much time with, and her hand subconsciously came to rest upon the ring hanging on a chain around her neck.
"Does it bother you that she refuses to wear the symbol of your love?" Rumple continued, knowing the blonde had no choice but to listen to him. "Is there really any point of making the effort to see a therapist when it would seem that your wife has already given up on your marriage? She won't even allow you to spend unsupervised time with your own children, you should give up on a facade that you both know is not working."
Emma's feet stopped and she quickly spun to face him with narrowed eyes, "My marriage is not a facade!"
"It certainly isn't one that Regina is interested in maintaining," he giggled.
Before she could even think about what she was doing, a fireball ignited in the blonde's hand and she threw it directly at the bane of her life. However, as soon as the flaming inferno came near the spirit, he disappeared and reappeared a few inches to the life. Emma took calming breaths as she stared at the burning tree, and after a few moments, she waved her hand to put out the flames.
"Will you please just leave me alone?" she asked rather pathetically, "I have already refused to embrace the darkness, what's the point of continuing to harass me?"
"I don't think you quite comprehend, dearie, that you and I have an eternity together. If rejection from your family isn't enough to turn you away from the light, how many years after Regina, Henry and Tamsin's deaths will you continue to fight against me?"
"I will fight you for as long as it takes for you to leave me alone!" she shouted.
The imp just tilted his head and smirked, "I am a part of you, Emma, I wonder how many years of fighting your own mind it will take to send you spiraling into insanity. You will soon realize that all of this was pointless. You will outlive every single person in this town and they will just be a footnote in the story of your life. Do you honestly believe that three centuries from now, you are still going to love Regina? That in all that time you won't find someone better than her? Someone who doesn't make you sleep on the couch after you made the ultimate sacrifice for them…"
Emma's fist clenched around the ring and she just closed her eyes and began to employ the trick she had discovered on one particularly lonely day after taking in the darkness. She imagined her wedding day, smiling broadly as Regina said her vows. Then she imagined the day Tamsin was born, how utterly exhausted and incredibly happy she had been at the same time. She allowed happy memories to flood her mind, and finally opened her eyes to find that the spirit was gone. Letting out a sigh of relief, her smile quickly fell as the metal clasped in her hands reminded her why she had come out to this clearing in the woods in the first place.
Images of Regina actively deciding not to put on her wedding ring flooded her mind and she let out a deep sigh as she turned around.
"Leave me alone," she whispered.
"Your little trick doesn't work anymore," Rumple giggled, "It would appear that returning to your family has tarnished every memory you've ever had of them."
"It's not their fault…"
"Then whose fault is it?" he shot back.
"Mine…I'm the Dark One…" Emma sighed, as she allowed tears to fall down her cheeks.
"You only became the Dark One to protect the woman you love, now that it would appear that she no longer loves you, you should just forget about her. Forget about being the savior and embrace who you are now," Rumple replied triumphantly.
Emma looked down at the ground and desperately tried not to agree with his words, but he was a part of her after all, she could hardly deny her own thoughts forever. Even if he was starting to convince her, that didn't mean that she had to outwardly agree with him. Swallowing hard, she refused to acknowledge his presence as she continued pacing.
But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't convince herself to go to therapy.
"Regina?" Archie said in confusion as he opened the door expecting someone else.
"Yes. Are expecting someone else?"
"Well, yes actually, Emma booked the appointment before your session."
"Really?" Regina asked sounding uninterested as Archie let her inside and she took a seat.
"Yes, I believe that the weight of the darkness on her soul is not something she should be repressing," he explained taking a seat, "The two of you need to work out your issues individually before you can begin to heal together."
"I believe you may be right, though I also believe that her absence speaks volumes," Regina said more to herself then to the therapist..
"What is it that you've come here today for Regina?" he asked catching her comment.
"Emma. Obviously."
"Okay then. What seems to be the problem?" Regina leveled him with glare and he quickly added, "Other than her being the Dark One, of course."
"I don't think that I quite know myself," Regina said.
"Has anything happened recently? Another dreadful dinner?"
"No. Dinner was fine. There wasn't much talking but I assume that's better than an argument. This morning was the issue."
"What is that issue?"
"I found Emma sleeping in Tamsin's bed," she responded as if the problem were obvious.
"Is she not supposed to do that?" Archie said frowning. This was really a new thing he'd never heard before. Usually as a therapist he spotted the problem before his patients now didn't seem to be the case, then again, a standard PhD didn't typically involve knowledge of ancient dark magic.
"Emma and I both agreed it would be best if we slept in separate rooms. Emma offered to sleep on the couch."
"Are saying that because there's a rift coming between you and your wife, Emma and your children aren't allowed to interact? Has she done anything to harm Henry or Tamsin?"
The questions he asked threw Regina for a loop. She blinked in shock almost as if she wasn't aware of how she got there. Realization dawned on both her and Archie was forming a theory that he believed may have been one of the main problems to their relationship.
"Are you alright, Regina?" Archie questioned as the woman paled slightly.
She nodded uncertainly but dismissed it immediately, "She hesitated."
"What was that?"
"I asked her if she had to choose between her power and Tamsin and she hesitated. Had it been an actual situation my daughter would've been thrown away for power."
"The darkness of the Dark One is quite a burden to carry. Are you sure she hesitated because she had to think about it or because she was fighting the darkness telling her to do the opposite of what her heart wanted?"
"Hesitation is a dangerous thing to forgive in the Dark One," Regina said grimly.
"Regina, are you having…" he cleared his throat, "A problem separating your wife from the Dark One?"
"I…" Regina seemed to pause on that. Her brain had been throwing all kinds of thoughts about Emma at her.
The moment she found Tamsin and Emma in that tiny little bed she recognized her Emma. The one she fell in love with and married. She had no problem letting the Dark One suffer but her wife was suffering along with it and her mind was still associating such a title with the imp.
"I…no I'm not. I know Emma."
"Regina-"
"Dr. Hopper I've known the Dark One for a very long time," Regina said harshly grabbing her purse and standing to leave. "I can assure you I can tell the difference between Emma and the Dark One just fine. And Emma is making the choice to run away and abandon her children. I know the difference."
With that she closed the door behind her. Archie looked after her with his brow furrowed, exchanging a small look with a quiet Pongo.
"I believe I'm not qualified for this one. I'm not sure what marriage I'm supposed to be fixing," he said to himself looking down at the only note he had written in the severely short session.
Wedding Ring?