Chapter Nineteen: Possessions

SLAM!

Regina stormed into her apartment in a fit of rage. She noticed the empty Tupperware containers spewed across the island that she never got to put away when Robin carried her off to the party.

That stupid fucking party that I knew would end like this! She released a frustrated groan, growing in volume as she swiped her arms across the counter. The sound of plastic crashing to the floor satisfied her somehow. She wanted more of it. More of the chaos and the noise. Anything to keep her out of her head. She opened and closed kitchen cabinets with a 'bang,' kicked over the garbage can, overturned furniture, knocked books from the shelves, until finally she opened the window of the living room and stuck her head out, screaming at the top of her lungs.

It was silent then. She felt like she could breathe for the first time since the horrid sound of Robin's knuckles cracking the bones in Graham's cheek. Right on cue, the man of the hour came hurrying into the apartment, causing her shortness of breath to return.

"Oh, Regina. I-" he started to run toward her, but was cut off when she raised her hand into the air.

"We went to the party. Are you happy now?" She asked with an angry grin.

"Don't say that. Of course I'm not happy," he sighed.

"You got to eat good food, drink some beer, and you even made new friends just like you wanted. Are you satisfied?" Her sarcasm was clearly evident in her words.

"Come on, Regina. We can talk about this-"

"No, Robin. I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. Based on your performance on the roof, I think you're done running your mouth for the day," she snapped, her voice cold and harsh. Normally she would be upset for speaking to him in such a way, but not then; not when she was so angry she could feel it in every tense muscle of her body.

He finally understood what Henry was talking about when he watched Regina's temper flare. She was terrifying: the way she stood her ground and straightened her posture, looking down on you even if you were taller. It forced him to sit on the couch, feeling exceptionally disappointed in himself.

"How dare you, Robin Locksley? How dare you allow yourself to set such a despicable example for our children?"

I am so bloody screwed, Robin thought to himself as her words came out clear and concise, over-annunciating each syllable to emphasize just how serious this was.

"Our sons now believe it is okay to hit another person if they are being offended. They are justified in using violence during a disagreement now because of your actions."

"It was the honorable thing to do," he stood his ground. He truly felt that it was. And to be fair, Regina only seemed to be upset with him for doing it in front of the kids. Who cares if Graham's face is broken? As long as the boys didn't see.

"Where is there honor in striking a man, Robin?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was almost appalling as much as it was utterly shocking that he felt justified in his actions.

"Where is the honor in allowing a man to speak disrespectfully about a woman? And not just any woman! My woman!"

Regina's eyes widened and he could tell he'd said something wrong. She spoke her next words so slowly and from a place deep inside her soul; she was serious and she was furious. The vein in her forehead stuck out when her face turned to a harsh grimace as she said, "I am not your possession."

"I know you're not. I misspoke." He opened his mouth to continue, but she was already on to her next sentence.

"I don't need you to fight my battles. I don't need you to rescue me like some knight in shining armor because let me tell you something, Robin," she paused, for what he realized was dramatic effect, and it amused him slightly (though he didn't show it). "I am no princess and I certainly don't need saving."

Regina left him on the couch to absorb her words as she walked to the kitchen to clean up her mess. He wanted to get up and help her, but he thought carefully about what she just said. It was her mess, she could clean it. So he decided to stay put.

She wasn't fragile, he could see that from the beginning. She could handle a few naughty thoughts by an ex-lover because they didn't mean anything to her. He realized, she always held the power by not acknowledging Graham's propositions all this time. But by hitting him, by allowing them to get into his head and bother him, Robin had taken that power from her. It was not his to take and that's what she was saying. It was her battle that she was winning until he came and lost it for her.

"I'm sorry, Regina," he said, pure sincerity in his voice as he spoke from his seat on the sofa. He didn't look in her direction, but could tell she was listening when the sound of plastic Tupperware being stacked in the cabinet came to a halt. "I truly am. I let my emotions get the best of me and in doing so, I disrespected you and set a negative example for our sons. But I will work everyday to right my wrong."

Because making it right is the honorable thing to do, Regina thought to herself with a sigh.

"For a man who prides himself on his honor, you jeopardized it by stooping to the level of someone with dishonor. That's not the Robin I know," she said.

"No it certainly isn't," he replied, ashamed of everything that occurred that day. He thought about what she said about the kids and pictured Roland using violence at school when another child teased the way he reads or writes. He thought about everything he told Henry at the diner and wondered if he would interpret his actions at the barbecue to be honorable rather than turning the other cheek, which was what he should have done.

He finally turned to face her. His brow raised, confused when he didn't see her standing in the kitchen like he imagined. He stood and walked around the island, sighing when he saw her sitting on the floor with her back against the cabinets under the sink. He sat down beside her carefully, wincing when he placed too much pressure on his hand.

"Can I see it?" She looked at him, concern in her eyes. He held his arm out and she gently turned it so his palm was facing down. His knuckles were swollen and slightly bruised, the skin raising on his fingers and the top of his hand.

Regina rested it in her lap and leaned forward. She opened the cabinet behind her back and found the first aid kit, repositioning herself comfortably for better access to his wound. She pulled out the ice pack and cracked it, releasing the crystals inside so it became cold. She put a layer of gauze over his knuckles and placed it there. She wrapped his hand in an ace bandage to hold the cold pack in place. When she was finished, he tried his best to hold her hand in his.

"I love you, Regina," he whispered, tears filling his eyes as he realized just what he'd done. He thought he was protecting her, but knew he could lose her at any second.

"I know you do. Robin, you punched another man for me," she smirked a little, but let it fade as quickly as it came.

They were silent, hands still held in place against one another. She took a deep breath as she watched his thumb rub lightly over hers. She wasn't going to let him go. She knew that. This wasn't something you ended a relationship over. But she needed to cool off, clear her head. She needed some time to miss him in order to forgive him, which she so desperately wanted to do.

"I love you too," she finally replied. Her voice was stronger than his, wanting him to hear how certain she was. He needed hope, to believe it wasn't over. "I just need some time. I don't want to be angry at you, but I am right now. I want to let it go, but I can't do that if you're here. Can you understand that?"

Robin nodded and allowed a tear to roll down his cheek. She hated seeing him so broken. She knew she'd done nothing wrong, but she felt so miserable. She knew it would be worth it though; it would make them stronger. It was difficult. She didn't want him to leave. She wanted him to hold her through the night while she cried, to let him see her. But she couldn't have that. Not that night. Not while she could see his nearly broken hand, a reminder of just how mad she was. No, Regina needed to do what was best for her in order to be a better partner. And she knew deep down, as much as he didn't agree, that he needed some space to do the same.

"I'll call you when I'm ready," she said standing, taking his good hand and helping him to his feet. She walked him to the door and he stopped to face her.

"I-" he attempted, but she interrupted.

"I know," she whispered, their foreheads touching. She didn't want him to say it again. This wasn't a goodbye. It was temporary. If he said it, if she let him say those words, it would feel like the end of something rather than a new beginning.

"This is just for a few days, so I can clear my head," she tried to reassure him, but the doubt was still clear in his eyes. He was worried she would take some time and decide it was over for them. A few days could turn into forever and he wasn't ready to let that happen. He'd never be ready for that.

She placed a peck on his lips before watching him continue down the hall to the elevator. She wasn't sure if he was going to pick up Roland or take a walk; she only hoped he would be safe. She shut her door when he was out of sight, tending, once again, to the mess she created in her apartment.

Regina fell to the floor in the kitchen suddenly. Her heart was pounding, her entire body trembling. She didn't know how it happened or when it began, but she was crying. She lifted her knees to her chest, muffling her sobs as she let her head collapse into her jeans.

She didn't stop it from happening. She was done closing herself off to the pain. So she cried until she was sure there were no tears left to be shed. And for the first time in her life, as she fully accepted her fears, Regina knew she could finally be free.