It's been months. Sorry for that.
Thank you beta/co author:Withgirl.
Enjoy.
Ruby felt nauseous. It had been a very long day and she wasn't convinced that her troubles would be ending any time soon. First there was the fact that she had spent far too much time wondering Camelot looking for something that would make her happy, when she already knew what, or more specifically, who that thing was. Then there was being so frustrated just before wolfstime, that she was unable to stop herself from biting one of Arthur's royal guards.
What followed was being subdued and then fed truth serum, which meant she was unable to stop herself from admitting everything. Which brought her back to the reason that she was so nauseous.
She had been forced to tell Arthur about how she had left Storybrooke using one of the magical beans and he had secured one of them from Merlin's stores. The Camelot version seemed to be slightly different to those used in the Enchanted Forest, in that one had to be able to visualise the place that they wanted to go to. Which was the reason that the wolf had been taken, very much against her will, so that King Arthur could get to her former home.
She had tried to stop herself from thinking about Storybrooke, she tried to take him to the Enchanted Forest just to protect all of the people in the town she loved. But thinking about the people she wished to protect, brought an image of the number one person she wanted to protect. The brunette with whom it had become far too painful to spend any prolonged periods of time with. Unrequited love was certainly a painful thing, but she found having such feelings towards one of her best friends was utterly soul-destroying.
Belle had been the reason that she believed she had nothing left for her in Storybrooke. Every time she saw the beautiful, intelligent librarian go back to the Dark One, the urge to admit her feelings had become stronger and stronger, but she just couldn't do it. For all of his bad qualities, Rumpelstiltskin seemed to make Belle happy.
"On your feet, wolf," a gruff voice announced, bringing Ruby out of her thoughts, though it didn't distract her from her urge to vomit. "You said that Storybrooke was a town," Arthur growled, while he inspected the trees surrounding them suspiciously.
The brunette scowled deeply at the man, who seemed to be more than over dressed for a quaint little town in Maine considering his full armor, but she rose to her feet nonetheless. Usually she would have done anything but obey his commands, but he had used the truth serum as an opportunity to find a way to blackmail her. He had promised to tear Belle limb from limb if she didn't do exactly as she was told and attacking wasn't an option since he had more than a couple silver throwing knives in his possession.
"This is the forest that surrounds Storybrooke," she spat as she rose to her feet, desperately wishing that the nausea would fade.
Arthur narrowed his eyes at her, before he decided that she was showing no signs of lying, "And where do I find the Dark One?"
"You can't just walk into town and demand that Rumpelstiltskin does exactly what you want him to, it just doesn't work like that."
The male brunette let out a huff, but he tried to remind himself just how long he had waited for the dagger, he could certainly wait a few more hours if it would guarantee that his endeavor wouldn't end in a very painful death.
"Then you will get the dagger for me," he growled.
"And how do you imagine that I will be able to achieve that?" Ruby spat, "Even if I wanted to help you, there would be no way that I would be able to trick the Dark One."
Arthur smirked and stepped into her personal space, "I'm sure that you can find a way or you better hope that you can," he leaned in closer, allowing a satisfied smile to take over his features when he saw how tense he made her, "For Belle's sake."
"You don't think that I could just warn someone of your plan?"
The king tilted his head as he placed his hand into his pocket and brought out a small phial and he nodded, "I suppose you're right, I cannot trust you to carry out your orders without a little more…incentive, shall we say."
As he talked, he popped the phial open, and poured a small amount of the dust within into his palm.
Without warning, the man reached forward and his hand disappeared into the former waitress's chest, a moment later, he pulled out the glowing red heart with a maniacal grin on his face.
Ruby let out a deep breath and brought her hand up to rest on her chest, swallowing hard, she realized that there was no beat underneath her fingers.
"What…what the hell?" she just about managed to get out.
"I learnt a thing or two during my time scouring Merlin's possessions, anyone can perform basic magic if they are in the possession pixie dust."
"You bas…"
Ruby inhaled sharply and she tried to ignore the pain while her eyes fixated on the man's fingers clenching around her heart.
"Now, now, there's no need for name calling," he tutted and stepped back from her personal space.
The wolf tried to withstand the pain, but it was all-consuming, and the worst thing was that she knew he wasn't squeezing as hard as he could.
"Please…" she said rather pathetically, already hating herself for pleading with this despicable man.
"No need to beg," he chuckled, "just do as you're told and I won't be forced to crush your heart. Now go and get me the information that I need."
"You're blocking the TV," Emma grumbled with crossed arms.
"Don't you believe that one of the most powerful magic users of all time shouldn't be spending their life watching Friends for the hundredth time?" Rumple sighed.
The blonde just shrugged petulantly and shifted to the side so that she could see past him, but he just moved in the same direction and she let out an exasperated sigh.
"Ross and Rachel are about to kiss," she pointed out.
The spirit waved his hand the TV turned off, Emma rolled her eyes and allowed her own hand that he had controlled, to fall back to her side.
"You said yourself that I'm immortal now, surely I have time to watch whatever I want to."
"You can watch whatever you want when you are truly free," he shot back.
The Dark One just shook her head and blew out a breath, "I'm not interested in some ridiculous plan that we all know the 'heroes' are going to stop. Honestly, I would have thought that after so long, the spirit of every Dark One would have realized that they should just give up. Villains don't win."
"But you're not a villain are you, oh great and powerful savior?" he sneered.
"According to Regina, I'm not the savior anymore, I'm just the evil Dark One who can't even hug her own fucking daughter," she huffed, refusing to look at the spirit as tears began to sting at the corners of her eyes.
"How is it fair that you sacrifice yourself, as any hero would have done, and suddenly have to be the villain? Do you honestly believe that after everything you have done for these town, for the people who caused your miserable childhood, that you should have to resign yourself to the same standard as the people who you have spent the last three years fighting against? Do you believe that you deserve the same fate as Cruella, Zelena or Cora? Have you done a single thing that could even be considered evil?"
Emma just shook her head, she refused to have this discussion again, because she had been thinking about it since she and Regina had started having issues. She could understand that Regina was pissed that she had disappeared for so long, but when she had first come back, it seemed like everything would go back to normal. She was soon proven wrong. Regina seemed to be the only person who saw anything different about her, sure, she looked physically different and that had taken a few people aback. Her parents in particular had been shocked when they had first seen the Dark One version of their daughter, but they had soon seen that she was just the same person and had started treating her as they always had.
"Well if you had it your way, I would be exactly the person that she thinks I am," Emma spat back finally looking up at him with nothing but contempt in her eyes.
"Well, if you're already being accused of something you haven't done, then why not do it anyway? You're already being punished, so wouldn't you want to have the satisfaction that comes with being well and truly free?"
"Because I would rather prove Regina wrong then have her think that she was right all along, unlike you, I actually care about my marriage!"
The spirit tilted his head and smirked slightly as he replied, "Do you realize that I am not actually Rumpelstiltskin?"
The blonde let out a little growl of frustration and fell back against the couch, "you are somehow more annoying than he ever was."
"If you want rid of me, then you simply need to break your connection to that dagger…"
"You mean, if I free myself from the dagger, then you're free to completely take over me?" she sighed.
"You can look at it that way, but you need to understand, dearie, that we are not separate. I am a part of you, a more powerful part. Is it really wrong to want your best self to be in control?"
"You are not my best self," Emma sighed, she couldn't see why she continued to agree with him, it seemed that he had endless retorts, but when he was literally stopping her from doing anything else, she figured she could at least try.
"The Dark One is more powerful, immortal and not compromised by the weakness of love," he shot back.
"Every single Dark One has been compromised by love," the blonde shot back, before her eyes widened when she realized that she had used his word. "I meant…"
The spirit held up his hand and just shook his head with a gratified smile on his face, "You can't lie to me, dear, we both know that you're coming over to the better way of thinking."
"It was a slip of the tongue and it meant nothing!" Emma growled, standing from the couch with both of her fists clenched.
Rumple just carried on smirking at her and she got the urge to punch him before she remembered that she would probably just end up hitting the TV. Just as she as she was about to come up with another way to put him in his place, she suddenly recognized the presence of someone behind her. She turned around and saw a brunette with narrowed eyes and her arms crossed across her chest.
"Regina…"
Said woman just narrowed her eyes further and asked, "Who were you talking to, Emma?"
"Uh…" the blonde looked over her shoulder at the spirit of the former Dark One and she knew instantly that she would just need to tell the truth so that this didn't devolve. But then, she realized that if Regina knew that she had been spending her time talking with Rumpelstiltskin, then there was no way that she would ever believe and the Dark One that she had known in the Enchanted Forest and Emma Swan-Mills were not the same person.
"Myself," she finally said.
"Why are you lying to me?" Regina sighed, her arms falling to her side.
"I'm not lying to you," Emma replied, technically it wasn't a complete lie, since, as he often reminded her, he was a part of her.
"Yes you are. You didn't show up for your therapy session…"
"So much for doctor-patient confidentiality," the blonde huffed.
"Laws hardly apply in Storybrooke."
"Don't you think that is something you should change, Madam Mayor," Emma replied.
Regina just rolled her eyes and said, "Stop changing the subject! You didn't go to therapy as you said you would and now I find you 'talking to yourself', it doesn't inspire much confidence, Miss…"
The blonde's eyebrows shot up in surprise and looked at the woman who was biting her lip, looking desperately like she wanted to take her final word back.
"Miss Swan?" Emma laughed in disbelief, "Miss fucking Swan, Regina?"
"It was a slip of the tongue Emma and it's not important right now…"
"Oh, of course it's not important, because only the things that you imagine that I did wrong matter. It doesn't matter that you just basically forgot that we're married," the blonde shouted, completely unable to hold back her anger, the ring around her neck feeling significantly heavier than it had a moment ago. She considered pointing out the fact that she had it, but then, she didn't want to hear Regina tell her that it wasn't important.
"I did not forget that we are married," Regina sighed heavily, "Mrs. Swan-Mills, are you happy now?"
"No, I am not happy, Regina, I haven't been happy for a while and it's all your fault!"
"My fault?" the brunette asked in disbelief, "How is this my fault?"
"There is a reason that the darkness attacked you, but as always you had your little pet savior to stop it."
Silence fell between them and even when her mind caught up with what she had said, she found that she couldn't regret it. They each narrowed their eyes and finally Regina turned on her heels and said, "This argument is over, but feel free to go back to arguing with yourself."
With that, the brunette made her way to her study, not even bothering to look over her shoulder as silent tears fell down her cheeks. Emma stared at the woman until she turned a corner and then spun on her heels to look at the insufferable imp who had been watching the entire scene unfold.
"Well that went well," he smirked.
"Shut up," the blonde snapped and stormed out of the mansion. Her mind had no idea where she was going, but her feet seemed to know that she needed to talk to someone who would actually listen.
Belle ran her hand over the grass and stared at the tombstone.
It had been months, but she knew that she should still be sadder about the fact that her husband had died. At first, she had spent all of her time next to his comatose body, but that was mostly because she knew that he had no one else, especially since most people in the town were so focused on Emma.
However, she knew that it had taken centuries to darken his heart, it was well and truly his time.
For all of his good qualities, he had always been a beast, no matter how well he had hidden it. When she had sent him over the town line, she had convinced herself that she could move on from him, but she realized that the person she wished to help her move on was no longer in town. Long before, Snow had told her that Ruby had left town in search of somewhere she belonged and that it was very unlikely that she would be able to ever return to Storybrooke. That night, the librarian had found herself crying over the best friend that she'd finally had the opportunity to miss, instead of mourning the fact that she would almost certainly never see her husband again.
Now, she sat at the grave of the man and she didn't know exactly she should feel about the fact that he was truly gone.
For a while she was sure that there was no way he could actually be dead considering the number of times he had somehow managed to evade his fate. But this time, there was a Dark One to take his place. Without the darkness, his body just was incapable of sustaining life, and a few days after what most people in town referred to as 'the incident', he flat lined. There weren't many people at his funeral, but everyone in town still found it in themselves to be respectful. They had allowed her to bury him among the others in the graveyard even though she was sure that were many who would have much preferred that he wasn't.
Overall, she was just confused as to how she should feel about the death of the man whom she had been mourning long before she had sent him over the town line. She had always had a sneaking suspicion that he was planning something and finding that gauntlet just proved that he was completely incapable of being the man that she wanted him to be, no matter how hard he tried. Now that she'd seen Emma only just about managing to control the sheer amount of dark energy, she knew that she could no longer blame him. Emma Swan was the product of True Love and the savior, if she was just about able to control it, then there was no way that Rumpelstiltskin, a peasant who had been too afraid to fight in the Ogre Wars didn't stand a chance.
"Are you okay?" someone asked from behind.
Belle furrowed her brow at the voice, she told herself that there was no way that it could be the person she wanted it to be. Her mind must have been playing tricks on her because there was no way that the woman she had been wishing was there with her all this time to help her deal with her plethora of emotions could suddenly have shown up.
For a moment, she refused to turn her head simply because she was convinced that living with the knowledge that it was possible than having to deal with the hopelessness she would feel if she was proven wrong.
"Belle?"
The brunette took in a deep breath and finally turned her head, for a second, she allowed her eyes to simply scan the other brunette, before she hopped to her feet and all but threw herself into Ruby's arms. The wolf blinked a couple of times, but it wasn't long before she brought her arms around the librarian and pulled her as close as she could. They stayed like this for far longer than could possibly be considered normal, but eventually, the shorter of the two women pulled away and offered the former waitress a watery smile.
Ruby was about to drop her arms to her side, but she thought better of it when she noticed how comfortable the other woman was, and they simply reveled in the fact that they were so near each other again.
Finally, the taller brunette let out a nervous laugh and said, "Hey."
Belle laughed and smiled broadly, "Hey…how are you here?"
The wolf swallowed hard, she was desperate to tell the truth, if she could just do that, it wouldn't take long to have Regina go and fireball Arthur's ass. But as it was, she could feel the king was holding her heart right at that moment. She knew that he could see what exactly was going on, and if she tried to say anything out of line, he would simply just control her words. She had waited so long to see the woman she loved again and she wasn't going to have some psychotic king completely ruin the moment.
She glanced over the librarian's shoulder and allowed her eyes to run over the name on the tombstone that she had been sitting before. She did this a couple of times and finally forced her arms to drop to her side as she took a small step back.
"You never answered my question…someone at the diner told me that you would probably be here…"
Belle smiled sadly as she was abruptly remembered where they were, as much as she wanted to grab the woman and kiss her passionately, she very much didn't want to do it in the graveyard in front of her late husband's grave.
"I…I'm not sure…" Belle admitted, this was not something she had yet admitted to anyone else, mostly because she wasn't sure that there was anyone else who could find it within themselves to empathize with her.
Ruby nodded, she wanted to say something comforting, but she could practically hear Arthur commanding her to get the information he wanted.
"So…Grumpy told me that you would be here, but he didn't tell me what happened…"
The other brunette frowned, she was sure that wouldn't be something the other woman would be interested in, at least not immediately.
"Er…" she began, considering whether she should question this, but it had been a long time, it made sense that Ruby would be curious about what happened. Plus, she should probably be warned about one of her close friend's new title, "We tried to save Rumple by sending the darkness away. But it got out and…attacked Regina…"
Ruby's mouth fell open as she considered the implications of this, finally she came to the conclusion that anyone in town would have assumed, "Are you saying that Emma's the Dark One?"
Belle smiled sadly and nodded, "Is she that predictable?"
The wolf nodded and swallowed hard, it was one thing to help Arthur with whatever he had planned to do to Rumpelstiltskin, but Emma Swan was her friend. She was her best friend's daughter, a mother to two children and she had a wife who was more than capable of crushing her heart if the king didn't when this was all over.
"She hasn't done anything evil though," Belle continued, not noticing the internal battle the other woman was facing. "As morbid as it is, it is romantic how the two of them would literally do anything for each other. But I'm sure they would both prefer it if they could just be a normal couple for at least a little while…"
Ruby nodded her agreement, she could feel that the librarian was desperate to ask her some more questions about where she was and why she was here now, but there was someone currently held her heart was far more eager to get his answers.
"So if Emma hasn't done anything, does that mean she was allowed to keep the dagger?"
Belle tilted her head and inspected Ruby for a second, "Why does that matter?"
"Just…curious…"
"I think she gave to Regina 'just in case', but why would you be curious about that Ruby?" she pressed.
"It's really not important," Ruby snapped, though they were not her words, she knew that Arthur was desperate to have her return to him so that he could find about more about Regina and how he would go about getting the dagger from her.
Belle's mouth fell and she blinked a couple of times, she wondered whether the wolf had changed during her time away from Storybrooke, but there was a part of her that knew that the woman she loved could never have changed, no matter how long she had been gone.
They stared at each other for a second, but the wolf felt a pain shoot through her chest and it took all of her will power to obey the command to not show she was in pain.
"I really have to go," she announced.
The shorter woman furrowed her brow, she was sure there was no way that conversation could possibly over, after so long, all she wanted to do was go home and talk with the woman for as long as it took to get out everything she had been forced to repress. She was sure that the talk would end in one of them asking the other on a date, not that she had ever thought about how their reunion would happen every time she had felt alone.
"Ruby…" she began.
"I'll come by and see you later," Ruby tried to reassure.
The librarian was about to protest, but the other woman had already began walking away.
She considered following her, but she soon realised that she must have used her wolfish speed, because when she looked up, the brunette was nowhere to be seen.
After nearly two weeks without seeing his daughter, David jumped out of his chair at the sight of her walking in. It was still strange that she didn't wear her usual clothes but it didn't stop the smile from coming over his face.
"I wasn't expecting you back until tomorrow," he said beaming until he noticed the somber expression on her face.
"I needed something to get my mind off things," Emma said walking into her office. David followed her, coming up with the wrong thing in his mind from the list of things that could possibly be wrong with his daughter.
"Don't worry, Emma. Your mother and I are still looking for a way to remove you from the darkness. We won't give up."
"Why have you trusted me with Neal?" she asked randomly. David frowned at the question and shook his head but answered anyway. Emma looked up at him intensely searching his eyes for any ounce of a lie.
"Because, he's your little brother we know you won't hurt him."
Nothing pinged.
"What's wrong Emma?" he asked in concern.
"There's just a lot on my mind."
"Well…" he started sitting down across from her. "Do you want to talk about it? I know I don't have a clue as to what it's like to be the Dark One but I'll do anything I can to help."
"It's not…I want to say it's not a Dark One problem but, it is and it isn't."
"I'm not understanding…"
"I'm marriage problems."
"That I can help with," he grinned lightly and continued, "I can imagine it's been hard on you and Regina."
"I don't know what I'm doing wrong." Her father frowned and she added, "She just doesn't look at me the same anymore. Like I've done something wrong but I can't figure out what it is. Has that ever happened to you?"
"More often than you think. That's pretty common in relationships."
"Then what is it? I haven't come up with some plot to take over the world, I haven't tried to take back the dagger…I haven't hurt anybody. I don't understand."
"Well, didn't she have to force you to go to see Archie?"
"Yes, but I don't see how that's such a big deal," Emma mumbled looking down at her hands. "No one goes willingly to therapy. She didn't."
"Even that small thing could be your problem Emma but is there anything else?"
"She doesn't trust me anymore. I'm the Dark One and now suddenly, I'm not Emma to her anymore. I'm trying to fight the darkness in my head and everything I've done, even leave for a few days…a few hours, I've done it to protect my family."
"Emma, Regina trusts you and as much as I'd been skeptically of it when you two first got together, she does very much love you."
Emma didn't respond for several moments. She wanted to believe that was right but so many things easily led her to believe Regina didn't think of her as the same person she knew only a few months ago. That meant she didn't trust her the same, if at all, anymore. And suddenly it was beginning to feel like that love wasn't as it was anymore. Her wife had said her name as if she was talking about someone else, maybe all that love had vanished.
The blonde's face fell, "Me and Regina have always been at each other throats since the day when met and that's never change even the day we fell in love. We argued the other night…she used the dagger on me when I tried to get close to her. Hell, I wanted to kiss her even though she made me mad but she didn't trust me."
She stood up from her desk and turned to the file cabinet next to her desk. On top sat a picture of them on their honeymoon. She lost her subject, "The happiest day of my life was when Regina proposed. I honestly thought I would have to be the idiot to ask her if that's what she wanted before I did it. But that day is in competition with the day I got pregnant. Tamsin and Henry will be all I have, if…Regina regrets that day."
"Emma…She wouldn't."
"She won't let me near Tamsin. I fell asleep in her bed trying to get her back to sleep and the next morning Regina took her while I was still sleeping…"
"I… I can't defend any of that but when people are scared they do stupid things. Your mother and I included…your wife included."
"Am I really such a monster? Tamsin isn't scared of me but she will be. I don't know how long until the darkness takes over."
David walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder, gently turning her around. His heart broke for his daughter seeing the tears threatening to roll down her cheeks.
"I can't figure out why she's pushing me away," Emma whispered.
Her father pulled her into a hug, one she didn't pull away from. She rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped a strong arm around her back and put a comforting hand to her head. Emma blinked back a few tears and looked ahead of her terrified she was started to acknowledge him again. She let out a chilling breath staring directly at the very real hallucination of Rumpelstiltskin leaning against her father's desk giggle, cackling at her hope.
"We won't let that happen, Emma," David said softly.