Chapter 8: Shackles and cages

The same scenery; white ceilings, green walls and the deafening odor of cleaning agents. I woke up with the exact same view as the day before, the same I would wake up to the day after.

Time went by almost unnoticed, since I was always repeating the motions of what had come before in some form. I woke to a white ceiling and fell asleep to the distant sound clicking heels and voices of real people. Reaching for something, anything within reach, I would spend each day performing an almost mindless activity.

Part of me recognized the incoming depression, and every moment awake was spent fighting it, but when the morning light spilled in through the windows nothing could distract me from the feeling of emptiness. The schedule was already clear; explore town, stare at scrolls, take notes and plaster whatever space left on my walls with them.

I figured the Hokage had given up on the delusion of getting me another caretaker, or he just felt it would be a waste when my frequent injuries would bring me back here again and again.

·

I never knew sharing quiet time with another being melancholic was so effective, if you ignored the time before the effect was felt.

"I still don't see why I can't use my own two feet." I forced out through clenched teeth. The blindfold covering my eyes was itching and left my imagination in overdrive without sight to glue me in on my surroundings.

There was a snort to my left. "You should try to enjoy the benefits of your age. In a couple of years nobody will be willing to carry you around… "

"And I will be happy." I finished. A small smile betrayed me, and I heard the snorting sound again. Part of me was quite happy with the accomplishment of finally having made the man comfortable enough to show some sort of emotion other than awkwardness and confusion in my presence. The other part was still loudly protesting against this treatment.

The copy-nin had appeared early the same morning, shocking me both with his willingness to stay near me and his initiative in spending time with me. It was one of the last days of October and I had spent the day before raiding the doctors' offices with one of my storage scrolls, which had provided me with another book on anatomy and several crumpled papers with medical notes from trashcans.

My own sense of personal hygiene prohibited me from rummaging the waste of gloves, empty tubes, lines and other such things, but I succeed in finding several pills and samples of herbs, which made me yet again question the level of technology of this world.

Everything was currently contained safely in a scroll back at my room in the hospital, leaving me with nothing but the clothes on my body and no means of self-defense.

The daily issue with the glaring muggles was making me slightly paranoid.

I wetted my lips with the tip of my tongue and started talking again, in an attempt to distract me from my current state of blindness and therefore increased wariness. "Seriously, the least you could do is telling me where we're going." I felt strong wind push my hair back and I tried to swallow a gasp at the realization, that we were probably moving faster than should be humanly possible. Any thought of opening my mouth again left me, since it would most likely lead to me swallowing a bug.

A sudden though raced through my head and I bit down on the arm holding me, with a faint shrill scream hissing out through my lips.

I was promptly sat down and I tore off the blindfold, staring wildly at the familiar masked face before me. My mouth opened and closed, trying to figure out whether to demand he confirmed his identity or simply scream for help.

The Henge was a basic technique, which even academy students knew, and I had no idea how to recognize it being used.

The possible imposters eyes were wide, either reflecting panic from being found out or from rousing this sudden and unexpected reaction. "Naruto," There was a hint of concern, but was the emotion false? Who was this man before me? "Breathe."

I gasped for air when the command registered, noticing my lightheadedness for the first time.

We were on a roof, the direction unknown but still in Konoha. There would be ninjas below us, perhaps others moving around on the roofs. I was still within perimeters of safety, but it could change quickly. This man could cut my throat quicker than I could yell for help.

The conclusion heightened my continued hyperventilating.

"Identity." Confusion crossed his face. "Confirm your identity… what alternative colors did I suggest to Maito Gai for his outfit?"

His eyebrows rose questioningly, but he answered without delay. "Red and yellow."

"Why?" I whispered urgently.

"Naruto, what's wrong?"

"Why?" I prompted again, my gaze not leaving his for a second.

"The sun, energy and new life." He replied drily. "But you never did explain the red choice. So, can you explain to me now, why you suddenly need proof of my who I am?"

"Tell me where we're going first."

He gazed at me with incredulity before closing his eyes with a sigh. "You're quite the sneaky child."

The meaning of those words left me indignant. "I was not acting. You could have been anyone, coming in and wanting me to follow without questions. Not to mention, you were the one who made me solemnly swear never to follow suspicious people, remember that?"

The facepalm worthy accusation did not gain more reaction than one long stare.

"I'm not sorry for being cautious." I grumbled while crossing my arms. "Isn't that an important aspect for a ninja? Even now I have to take into consideration that you could have that information from spying…"

A large hand was placed on my head, and I pouted at him as he continued to pat my hair with monotonous movements.

"See, you're not telling me I'm wrong."

"No," There was the eye-smile. "I'm happy you listen to your elders, Naruto."

I sneered before mumbling. "I'll find a way to hurt you, just wait and see. I'll have vengeance for people messing with my hair, and when the day comes, you'll all regret your actions but to no avail, since no forgiveness will be given!"

Kakashi chuckled in response, and I was lifted again under heavy verbal protest from my side. It was too dangerous to fight my way to freedom with the speed we were moving at. One heart-hammering journey later we were standing at an open space with swings, seesaws and a single slide. It was empty since it was still early, but it was easy to imagine how crowded it would be in a few hours.

A playground, he took me to a playground.

"Do you hate me?" I whimpered. "Is this some sort of punishment for something I've done in a former life? Why did you think this was a good idea?"

He calmly listened to my whining with unchanged expression.

"I know who'll come here soon." My voice dropped dramatically. "And do you know what they do to someone like me? They. Will. Touch. Me. Cheeks, hair, it doesn't matter! Every part of your body being sullied by touchy fingers…" I was cringing from my own words, the innuendo too much even for myself. "Don't you dare leave me to this!"

"They're children, like you."

"I know which children come here! They're older than me, so how am I supposed to play with them, hm, oh grand schemer?" My mocking tone barely concealed the underlying horror. "You did not think this through, did you?"

His eyes were shining, like this was amusing to him. "I did not think you would do well with those of your own age. Call it a compromise. Spending time with other children will do you good."

"No-no-no, this is only to satisfy your own twisted sense of humor." I shook a finger at him. "Or it's you getting revenge for the gift, which you clearly did not like, big brother."

I received a hint of a smile, the skin around his eyes crinkling slightly. "You need to learn how to interact with them in time if you want to be a ninja. Those who don't care for their comrades are lower than…" He trailed off, like he was unsure if he wanted to go on.

Go on, you were not teaching me any new words, Kakashi. "Trash," I finished annoyed. "I know how to interact with others, but that does not mean I enjoy it. Seriously, what made you think this was a good idea?"

He lifted a single eyebrow, like he was saying; what do you think?

"So is this just a pit stop for you, or are you going to stay here and watch me stumble about and learning the proper way to communicate with my future so called comrades?" I recomposed myself into a rigid stance, somewhat happy he was crouching so we were on eye level. "If they have any kind of parental supervising then this will be largely unproductive."

The man resorted to simply shaking his head.

"You know I'm right. No matter how good your intentions were bringing me here, it will never change how people view me in generally and consequently their children in turn." A slight frown marred my features. "I know how normal family dynamics works. I have eyes, and there are lots of open windows around town."

"You go around spying." It was more a statement than a question, but I still replied with a stiff little nod.

"Off course." It was obviously the most logical option for anyone in my position.

He mumbled something, and I perked up at the sound of the words 'sensei' and 'wrong'. The poor boy was clearly lost, and had no idea in how he was going to handle me.

Perhaps I had been a little too hard on him?

"So, now we have that little detail made perfectly clear, shall we go somewhere else?" I cast a dark look at the grey swings, trying not to imagine how they were shaking in slight terror of the apprehension of the small devils that would later arrive and misuse them. "What do you do in your spare time, Nii-san?"

The silence stretched out for an uncomfortable long while.

"You can't seriously mean all you do is staring at a memorial?" I said slowly, doubt clear in every word, which made me feel pretty accomplished as an actor. "Please tell me you know how to relax and enjoy life?"

It was pretty incrimination he kept being quiet.

"That's not healthy." But then again, I had already known about his lack of current hobbies. The only difference was that now he knew I knew. Ah, convoluted situation, you never fail to amuse me.

"And jumping repeatedly from second floor is?"

The response provoked a grin. "You're talking back to a toddler; I think both of us know who's winning this argument."

"I'm beginning to wonder if you ever were a toddler," came the tart reply. "And since we're already off topic, no I'm not going to get pink masks nor will I wear anything flower patterned."

"Well, you're a buzzkill. Also, that's showing some serious fear of one small fragile little girl." I quipped, taking a deep breath and running a hand through my hair in an attempt to calm the rest of my remaining nerves from the earlier excitement. "Can't we just agree this was a bad idea, even if the intentions behind it were excellent, and actually do something enjoyable? Please?"

I leaned his head owlish to one side. "And what do you consider enjoyable, Naruto?"

My mouth popped open in a small 'o'. "That's actually a good question." I blinked rapidly. "I've heard watching television is fun. Same with going to restaurants, but for some reason hiking isn't popular. Ninjas seem to find sparring to be a pleasant pastime, but I guess you already know that…" I trailed off. "I'm beginning to see why you thought the playground was a good idea for other reasons than just socialization. What do people actually do for fun?"

I stared wide eyed at him, and he gave me a blank look in return.

What wouldn't I give to be in the world of the internet?

·

Needless to say, we did not come with any good activities to pass time. It was not for lack of trying, but my age and this world technology level kept getting in the way.

My quests for 'fun activities to do in your spare time with others' began a month before the Hyūga incident. I woke on the 28th December with the feeling that I had forgotten something, a feeling which was confirmed just a short time thereafter. I had not run past any gossiping nurses that morning, so the talk had not reached my ears before a muggle in the streets murmured something in the edge of my hearing range.

Something about Hyūga Hinata, the kidnapping which was the catalyst causing an innocent man to die, a child to lose his father and a girl to lose any confidence in herself. It was a growing tragedy, and the person who stopped it from growing worse was not there to deal with it. Would never get there to fix what was mendable and pick up the pieces of two broken individuals.

I stilled the moment the realization sat in, ignoring like always the glares coming my way from those who recognized a tuft of blond hair and whisker marks hidden under scarf and hood.

It was the moment I realized how little the world mattered.

This universe had a predetermined chain of events, and I could try to change that all I could without getting any kind of results. My brain would be unable to calculate different paths, work out how the world would go on and what the consequences would be.

But that didn't matter.

Because this was not reality. It was nothing but a fleeting moment of a dream, forgotten as soon as my eyes opened again. I looked at a passing family and saw nothing but the walls of the building behind them. Then I passed that and viewed the world as it was, desolate and empty except random threads of thoughts which, woven together, made up the world I was looking at and viewing through foreign eyes.

My mission was to have fun, because nothing else mattered.

·

The woman was too busy looking at papers to notice the toddler walking up to her. I was not sure if I with my three years technically had left the age range defined under the term of 'toddler', or if that had to wait for the year after.

I was not exactly a walking dictionary.

The black haired woman scuffled the patient-files she carried around, and I got a look at a dozen notes and pictures, before she suddenly stiffened and turned in my direction. The glare was kind of expected, but I meant business today so I did not get into the routine of mimicking the muggle's responses.

"Hey, nurse of unknown name do you have a suggesting for an activity to do when spending time together with another person?" I asked brightly, bouncing on my feet like an overexcited child.

The act was very deliberately. I loved when a moment of confusion settled in and it looked they questioned their belief for the barest of a moment. It was almost as entertaining as when they returned to blindly believing I was the fox reborn.

"No."

Not disappointing really, since I had sort of expected an immediately refusal and an order to return to my room. I rolled my eyes and discretely made a mental note about the name on her nametag. If I needed a quick victim to enact stress relief on later I knew where to find it now.

Mayu was kind of cute. Even if it sounded a bit like 'maou', which meant Satan.

My shoulders were shaking, hands moving like they were experiencing spasm of a particular violent kind. My grinned widened to show off all of my teeth, and I could almost hear my facial skin crack at the pull from my lips. This was absolutely hilarious, and I knew I would never be able to share the joke with anyone because it was at a level of fucked up where any sane person would back off.

I gave a slight bow, and thanked for her for her time before I lost my composure, only to run into a mere elderly nurse. Her grey eyes were leveled at me and hardened by more loss than I could probably imagine without remembering statistics about hungering children all over my home world and the victims of wars.

She got nothing on me, hah, the media's had spent years on desensitizing me on everything from tragic disasters claiming thousands of lives to the ruination of everything in a single person's life.

"I know of an interesting game you could play." I was shocked at how malicious her smile was. "It's called 'guess the plant'."

Well, what a prissy bitch.

·

"Something fun, you say…"A thoughtful expression settled on his face, bushy brows knitted together. "Well of all the youthful activities to pursue, it's the betterment of the self which should be the true goal! Only with hard work may you fully bloom in the Eternal Springtime of Youth!"

I sweat dropped. That title even used multiple instances of capitalization.

Maito Gai was the wrong person to ask about anything.

·

"Jiji, what can two people do together for fun?" I asked one afternoon where the Hokage has graced me with his presence. Stretched out on the floor with a sheet of paper containing the raw design of a storage seal before me and ink tools to my left, I made for the perfect picture of a diligent well behaved child if I had to say so myself.

An odd look morphed his face. The faraway glint in his eye gave away what unspoken thoughts passed his mind. "Ew, not that kind of fun." My nose scrunched up. "Normal things, something acceptable to do in public spaces."

The implications of my words startled him for barely a second, before his expression settled on his normal 'kind old man' mask and hid the emotion away. "Part of me doesn't want to know where you learned about these 'non-acceptable' things to do." He said amused. "This is not specially done in order to trick a response out of me, is it Naruto?"

I just grinned and replied quickly. "Nope, I'm truly in need of guidance."

The cheeky answer provoked a small smile. "I see. What sort of activity do you seek?"

I sighed. "Anything brain stimulating really."

"Have you ever heard of shogi, Naruto?"

·

"… so after much consideration on my part, I finally decided shogi was the perfect way to pass time when two are together." I nodded sagely to my one person audience. "After all, the plant game left my tummy a bit upset, so I didn't think it would fair to play with others since their reaction would be a bit more severe. The nurses were even so kind as to give me different herbs to use in the game. I was so happy about having a use for the book you gifted me with about plants."

I had a theory running that my mental health was beginning to rely on how many people I could freak out in a week, so the copy-nin's long incredulous stare was much needed. I basked in the glorifying feeling of being able to shock a professional murder into silence, closing my eyes in the hope it would linger just a bit longer.

This was what I lived for.

"Perhaps I should have a talk with the nurses." His tone was dangerously low, and my eyes opened in surprise in time to view the fury on his face. "Can I see the herbs they gave you?"

My voice proved unable to work for a second, before I managed to whisper. "Sure."

He nodded and stayed still in the chair, like he was waiting for me to act. I met his eyes with unconcealed confusion, my mind unable to grasp why my story had aroused this particular reaction. The script had been clear. He was not supposed to question me further, and just shake his head from the silliness of my story.

This emotion… it was not supposed to be like this. It was too real, showed too much concern for me as a living separate being apart from him.

He was not real.

"It's under the bed…" I got up with wooden movements, nearing the hospital bed since we had not yet left the room. The loaned shogi board had already been packed, so I could quickly get it when the copy-nin decided to visit again. "Here." I had even been given a box, and every plant sample had carefully been placed in separate containers and labeled with possible family and name of species.

He cast a glance at the collection, slowly taking one of the poisonous specimens up to study it, to confirm the truth of my story and his suspicions.

I stood beside him, shaking and unable to control my body for the first time in over a month. We were well into January of a new year, and I had finally perfected my mask. I should not have caused this fallout to happen, not by telling such a little story. Children were silly, and I had been far too dramatically to anyone to take seriously.

It was not supposed to end like this.

Author's note: Angst, lovely, lovely angst. This chapter saw a lot of character interaction, which was fun to plan and write.