Chapter Twenty-Three: Twilight Zone
Robin was on the elevator on his way back from Any Given Sundae. He'd run into David and Mary Margaret playing with the twins in the lobby. They begged Roland to stay with them so he allowed it, telling his son he had to be home for his shower and bedtime by nine o'clock.
He held a container of vanilla frozen yogurt in his hands for Regina, a special surprise to show his appreciation for everything she did for him that day. And everyday. He couldn't wait to walk in the door and take her in his arms. Without any interruptions this time.
He approached the door to the apartment and turned the key, but found that it was unlocked. He swore he locked up when he left, but perhaps she ran to her place for something during his absence. He turned the knob and opened the door as he said, "You are going to love me when you see-"
He stopped dead in his tracks. He suddenly felt dizzy, his heart pounding so fast he thought it was moving upward into his throat. He was so stunned, he failed to realize he'd dropped the yogurt and it oozed from the plastic all over the hardwood floor.
"Marian," he said aloud, just to be sure he was actually seeing her. His ex-wife was seated at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. Regina was standing against the kitchen sink staring at the woman, her arms crossed and a glass of wine in one of her hands. She had yet to look in his direction and it was clear to him that she didn't trust Marian.
"How-" he shook his head in disbelief. "You were supposed to-"
"I know. I was as shocked as you are. I got a plea bargain: early release with probation if I give them a list of names of the higher ups," she said, that fake innocence she always used to deceive him during their marriage plastered all over her face.
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to see my son," she stated and stood from her chair. She started to approach him, but Regina took a warning step toward her. She noticed and chuckled, "I made and sold pharmaceutical painkillers. I never hurt anyone. You can tell your guard dog to stand down."
"I think it's best you leave, Marian," he said, aggravated by her rudeness and just her mere presence in his life. He thought he had another 20 years, at least, without having to face her. Nothing could have prepared him for this.
"Not without Roland," she replied.
Robin laughed, it was loud with a tone of obvious mockery, "Well, that's never going to happen. You lost all custodial rights when you chose pills over him; over your family. So face the consequences because as far as I'm concerned, you'll never set eyes on him."
"He's my son as much as he is yours, Robin," she said, frustration beginning to grow in her voice. "And I'm prepared to fight to be in his life."
"Do your best. You may be his mother biologically, but that's all you've contributed to his life thus far and all you ever will. He is my son. I have raised him," he gritted his teeth, his hand clenched in a tight fist.
"I don't think this is a conversation we should be having in the company of others," Marian said, glaring at the brunette standing to the side prepared to jump at the first chance to tear the other woman to shreds.
"Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Regina."
"No," Regina said, realizing there was something better she could be doing to help the situation. She walked by the exotic-looking woman invading their world to place her empty glass on the table and stopped in front of Robin. "I'll be in the bedroom if you need me."
He nodded, an apologetic look on his face. She took his fist in her delicate grasp and squeezed reassuringly. He was still tense, but less than he was a moment before. She wanted to kiss him, to show him that she understood and was willing to stand by him, but she didn't know if that was what he needed then. At least not in front of his ex-wife. She walked to the end of the hall and entered the master bedroom.
Regina immediately pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed. She pressed it to her ear, pacing as she waited for the sound of the voice she most needed to hear. And then it came and a wave of relief washed over the brunette, her hands shaking as she held the phone, but focusing hard on steadying her voice.
"Mallory, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear your voice."
"I miss you too," the blonde laughed, but when her friend didn't she added, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, but Robin's not. I need your help," she said, continuing to pace the length of the room.
"Of course. Anything," she said and listened while Regina explained the situation. She took notes as the woman spoke; some were the details of what she was being told and others were follow up questions or statements to remind herself to mention. She held the end of the pen against her temple, concentrating and strategizing. When her colleague was finished, she took a deep breath. She needed to be a lawyer now as much as she needed to be a friend.
"First, if she's on probation than she can't do anything stupid or she'll land back in prison. If it's stupid enough, she'll most likely be sentenced to serve the remaining years of her prior conviction on top of additional time for any new crimes," Mal began.
"So she should be on her best behavior," Regina stated.
"Exactly. But, it's a good thing you called because it sounds like she plans to sue for joint custody or at least visitation rights. Is Roland there now?"
"No, thank God. I'm not sure where he is, but I know Robin wouldn't have left him just anywhere," she said, feeling herself calming down.
"Okay, that's good. The least she knows about Roland and his daily life, the better. Does she know anything about you?" Mal continued to scribble in her pad whenever the other woman provided an answer.
"Just my name. Nothing about Henry or where I live. I'm sure she knows the extent of my relationship with Robin, but that's all."
"Here's what I suggest you do," she put her pen down and pulled at some of the curls in her hair. "After Marian leaves, tell Robin to keep Roland out of the apartment for the night, at the very least. Have him stay with a family member or a neighbor; someone he can trust, but someone nearby as well. She obviously knows where they live so there's no telling what kind of crazy things she'll do with that. Move them into your place temporarily to keep them close, but out of their home while I work on writing up a case file. I'll request their divorce records from City Hall and start putting together solid character witnesses for you and Robin first thing in the morning. There's no way she's going to have sufficient representation if she does take this to court, but I'll be fully prepared just in case."
"Mal, I can't thank you enough for doing this. Send me the bill, okay? There's no way he can afford you on his university salary, but I want him to have the best of the best," she explained. "Roland means too much to him."
"This one's on the house. Call it my act of charity for the year," the blonde stated. "But if you really feel like thanking me, I wouldn't refuse some of your apple turnovers."
"Consider it done," Regina said as Robin entered the room. "I have to go. I'll keep you updated. And thank you again."
"Of course, dear. Be safe and call me if you need anything at all," Mallory replied before the call ended.
Robin and Regina sat on the edge of his bed, each making various phone calls and intermittently discussing Mallory's plan. He'd arranged for Roland to stay the night with the Nolans and immediately contacted his brother. John agreed, without hesitation, to take the little boy during the day while they were at work considering he only bartended at night. During the night hours, he would stay with Robin at Regina's apartment. They planned to rearrange Henry's room to fit a second mattress in there so he would be within hearing distance as well as out of immediate sight from the entrance to the apartment.
Regina contacted Henry and explained only the few details the teenager needed to know. He could hear the concern in his mother's voice and knew this was something serious. He was very understanding, volunteering his bed to Roland so the boy would be even more protected and comfortable. She was so grateful for his maturity and couldn't wait to hug him tight.
"What does Mallory need from me?" Robin asked when she was finished speaking to her son.
"Nothing right now. She's handling everything on the legal end. She said to focus on keeping Roland safe," Regina replied.
"What about payment? The way you've talked about her no lose streak, I assume she's rather expensive."
"Don't worry about that," she placed her hand on his thigh. "She's doing me a favor by taking your case with no charge. Her only concern, as yours should be, is protecting Roland and keeping Marian out of his life."
Robin merely nodded and they remained still for a bit, both processing the events that were closing in on them. He felt like he was suffocating. He shook his head and asked, "So what do we do now?"
"Now, we pack anything you and Roland need and bring it to my place. I'll help you carry his mattress over tonight so we don't even have to risk a trip back here for a few days. I'm not sure exactly what sort of things Marian is capable of, but I suggest bringing any valuables over and I'll lock them in my safe."
"The only things of value to me are you, Roland, and Henry," he stated firmly and Regina sighed with a soft smile. She pulled him into a tight embrace and nearly broke down by the overwhelming grip he had on her. This man was frightened, but she had to be strong for him. Keeping herself together was the only way he was going to make it through this.
"I promise, I won't let anything happen to Roland. Even if I have to represent you myself," she whispered and closed her eyes when she felt his chest shaking, his tears landing on the shoulder of her blouse as she held him. "I won't let you lose your son."
It was nearly ten by the time they'd finished moving all the necessities into Apartment 13. While Robin packed bags for him and his son, she'd cleaned the frozen yogurt he spilled on the floor. It was hard work, but they'd managed to rearrange Henry's room to accommodate the size of the little boy's mattress.
They were tired and sweaty from the physical labor and their nervous adrenaline. Both apartments were locked and secure before the couple finally allowed themselves to rest. They removed their clothing and stepped into a warm shower together in silent, mutual understanding that neither of them wanted to be alone for even a second. There was nothing sexual or arousing about standing naked with one another under the warmth of the water. It was about comfort and security.
Regina could tell his mind was elsewhere as he stared into the tiles of the shower and allowed the droplets to wash over him. After she'd cleaned herself, she applied soap to a washcloth and pressed it gently to his back. She spent the next few minutes cleaning him, not a single word spoken as she did so. He pressed his forehead to the wall and released a sigh, a small attempt to relax while she took care of him. Her hands moved slowly over his body, lathering his muscles and clearing the stress from his pores. She rung out the towel and turned him so he could rinse, her hands smoothing over his skin to guide the soap to the floor of the tub.
The water raining down above him rushed through his hair as he pulled her into him, his embrace tight and his muscles tense once again. She allowed him the time to hold her, to feel her in his arms. She was there and she always planned to be; her acceptance of his desperate grasp a nonverbal reassurance of that.
"I love you, Regina," he whispered, his breath staggering as he struggled to hold back his tears. "Please don't say it back because I already know. I just needed to tell you."
She nodded and placed her lips over his heart in a tender kiss. As requested, she remained silent and continued to linger in his arms. He finally pulled away and reached back to turn the handle to off, the lack of the steamy liquid causing their skin to raise with chills. He pulled the curtain back and stepped out of the tub, taking a towel and wrapping it around her body before doing the same for himself. He offered his hand and assisted her as she stepped beside him onto the mat.
They walked together into the master bedroom where Robin said, "I'm sorry you've been dragged into this."
Regina furrowed her brow in confusion and replied, "Is that what you think? I'm only doing this because I feel obligated?"
"No, of course not. But this is my burden to bear, not yours. So I felt I should apologize."
"Well don't. Don't ever apologize to me for this. Because none of it is your fault," she reassured and stepped forward, placing her hands on either side of his face. "I chose to be with you, Robin, and with that comes a lot of baggage that I am prepared to help you carry. If I wasn't willing to stand by you, I wouldn't have committed myself to this relationship."
Robin was overwhelmed with emotion as he crashed his lips into hers. She could feel the desperation in his kiss and allowed him that, returning the gesture with as much sincerity as she could muster. Something overcame him then, something Regina couldn't explain, as he ripped her towel from her body and pushed her onto the bed. His towel was off in seconds, hovering over her as their lips met once again.
He craved closeness, her closeness. He needed to feel her, to hear her, to show her. This woman was everything to him and he needed her to know that, but nothing he ever said would suffice.
Regina tried to wrap her arms around him, but he pushed them away, holding them above her head as he gripped her biceps. It was rough, not the same roughness as before, but she enjoyed it just the same. This was about her, about him being able to show her how much she meant to him. Their lips parted as he explored her body with a great sense of urgency. He moved so quickly, nipping at areas he knew were sensitive to elicit eager moans and yelps of her arousal.
He was between her legs, forcing them open and licking ferociously at her bundle of nerves. She winced at the initial contact, gripping the sheets and crying out. This was that animalistic intensity she yearned for. His mouth was hot against her, forcing his tongue inside and rubbing his lips on her skin there in a way he'd never done before. Regina arched her back and tilted her hips up for more. He engaged his teeth when he slipped his tongue out of her, nipping and tugging at her lips.
Suddenly the sensation was gone as Robin grabbed ahold of his erection and stood above her. He stroked himself in preparation before reaching down and pulling her to the edge of the bed by her hips. His nails dug into her flesh and she winced when she felt him break the skin, but looked forward to the mark it would leave; his mark on her.
He thrust himself deep inside her, not bothering to let her adjust to him. She cried out, swearing and pulling the sheets to her mouth and biting down. Robin pulled them forcefully from her teeth and said, "I want to hear you."
"Fuck," Regina moaned out, the husky tone of his voice rushing directly to her core. He thrust harder into her, the sound of his pelvis crashing with hers almost loud enough to overpower her cries.
Robin growled from deep within his throat; his body taking control of her, but his mind wandering elsewhere. Her eyes were closed so she missed the way his gaze shifted from her face to her abdomen as he allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts.
Memories of what they began earlier that day came rushing back to him as his hands pulled roughly at her thighs. He noticed the way she reveled in his power and wanted to give that to her. He remembered Roland interrupting and he was suddenly thinking about Marian. He recalled his reaction to her seated comfortably at his kitchen table and the conversation they had once Regina left the room. He hated that wretched woman. He hated her with more passion than when he once loved her.
"Robin," Regina muttered, but it didn't register in him as he continued his ministrations.
Marian sucked the life out of him, emasculating him with her demands and threats. He felt powerless in her presence; they way she belittled his intelligence with her quick wit or manipulated him and twisted his words.
"Robin, stop," Regina begged, but he remained deep in contemplation. She tried to sit up, but he forced her back down, pressing his palm hard into her chest.
That deceitful woman made him angry right through to his core. It was like he had to prove himself any time he was around her, like he had to show her just how much of a man he really was. She stripped him of his masculinity, the feeling that he couldn't protect his family overwhelming him at the simple sound of Roland's name being uttered from her lips. She couldn't take him, he wouldn't let her anywhere near his family again; he'd prove that she was powerless. Not him.
"Robin, please... You're-" Regina's words were cut off when he moved faster and harder inside her. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her lips pressed tightly together in pain as he tore through her insides. Through her tears, she managed to see that he wasn't looking at her. He was focused on her stomach, his mind clearly elsewhere. This was no longer that intimate, intense passion she sought from him. This was anger.
She attempted to sit up again, to bring him out of his mind, but his hand just pressed harder into her chest. There was so much power in it that she was unable to catch her breath, his palm sinking so deep into her flesh she thought it might reach right through to her heart.
With as much strength as she had, Regina kicked her foot into his quadricep with a shout, causing his knee to buckle. His head shot up, returning his attention to his actions rather than his racing thoughts. She pushed her hands hard against his chest to force him back, the sensation of him inside her disappearing as he stepped away from the bed.
She couldn't move. She could barely breathe. Her insides burned from the constant, unbearable friction. Robin watched her as she struggled, clearly in pain. Pain that he caused. He panicked, the sight of her overwhelming him.
How could he let this happen? How could he let it go this far? Heat rose within him as his temper flared, the anger he felt toward himself for essentially abusing the woman he was supposed to protect and love and respect. It made him sick to think he was even capable of something so absolutely despicable. Before he could think about it, he yelled and punched the wall behind him repeatedly.
"Robin! What are you doing?!" She cried and found the strength to stand. She rushed toward him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder blade. "Robin, calm down!"
He stopped, his breathing heavy as he collapsed to his knees. He couldn't look at her; he was too ashamed. His forehead leaned against the wall and he felt his heart break when he watched her struggle to kneel beside him in his peripherals. She draped her arms around his broad shoulders and pressed her lips into his bicep, waiting for him to relax.
After a few minutes, his breathing was still heavy and his body trembling, but it was different. The anger was gone, now replaced by guilt and sadness. His hand was bleeding, newly healed knuckles torn to shreds and bruised once again. He shook his head and stood up, lifting her into his arms as gently as possible. He positioned her comfortably on the soft mattress, readjusting the pillows so she could rest her head.
He turned on his heels and quickly went into the bathroom. He'd rinsed his wound before running a clean wash rag under the freezing cold water and returning to the bedroom. She was under the blankets, cold from the force of the air conditioner against her exposed skin.
Robin apprehensively crawled into the bed, pulling the blankets down to reveal her body. She didn't stop him. He thought she would have been scared of him after what he'd done to her; or at least hesitant. But she looked at him the same as she always did when she was worried about him. He gently guided her legs open to see the damage he'd done. She was still in pain; he could tell by the way she winced when he moved her. The skin there was tender to the touch and bright red compared to its usual light shade of pink.
He leaned down slowly and placed the cold compress along the length of her sex before guiding her legs back together. At first, the slightest touch to her was like fire and she whimpered in pain, but she relaxed into the cool relief of the wet towel against her wound. Robin examined the rest of her; bruises and nail marks already forming on her hips and thighs, the faint imprint of his hand where it was forced into her chest. He closed his eyes, pained by the sight. But they opened again when he felt her hand tugging gently at his.
He lay beside her and she turned her head to gaze into his eyes. Her dried tears left stains on her cheeks, her pain still evident from the vein protruding from her forehead which only made its presence known when she expressed three things: anger, sadness, and physical agony.
"Where did you go?" Regina asked him in a whisper. By her tone, he understood she didn't mean physically. She was asking where he went in his mind and why it took him so long to come back.
"Too far," he said simply. Breathing became difficult and a grimace spread across his face; one of disgust toward himself.
"I know you didn't do it intentionally," she said and he shook his head immediately.
"It doesn't matter, Regina. I still hurt you," he responded. Her eyes stared into his, filled with forgiveness and concern; concern for him. How could that be? He'd brought her pain yet she worried about him. His face expressed confusion when he asked, "How are you not disgusted or even frightened of me?"
"What happened just now, wasn't you. It's like that time you pissed me off while I was chopping a cucumber. I was thinking about how mad I was at you rather than focusing on what I was doing. My actions became driven by my emotions and I ended up with diced cucumber rather than sliced," she placed her hand on his cheek. "I just happened to be your cucumber."
He leaned into her touch before taking her hand and kissing her palm. He held it in his strong hands and sighed, "I shouldn't have let it come to this. I can't bear the thought of even a paper cut on you, but this? I did this and I..."
"Robin, I'm okay. You've been through a lot today and got carried away. I understand. The important thing is that you're back now," she smiled and added, "I'm stronger than you give me credit for, babe."
"You're the strongest person I know," he replied quickly and truthfully. "If the tables were turned, you never would have done something so unimaginable to me the way I've done to you."
"Please stop being so hard on yourself," she pleaded. "It wasn't all bad, Robin."
"How can you say that? You can barely move. You're covered in..." He allowed his sentence to trail off, unable to even speak the words. But he was surprised to hear Regina laughing softly.
"I like it rough every once in a while, babe. The marks you left? I like them. I really was enjoying myself when you were here, when your mind was focused only on me," she watched his eyes shift from looking into her left and then her right, trying to understand and absorb her words. "It's when you drifted that it changed from rough pleasure to pain. But don't think I'm some delicate flower that you have to tend to. One of these days, when your mind isn't preoccupied with stress, I want you to ravish me like that again."
"I could never. Not again-"
"When you're ready," she cut him off. "I trust you."
Robin started to cry then; the events of the day completely consuming him. His head fell to her chest and she wrapped her arms securely around him, letting him break down. She placed soothing kisses on his forehead and said, "Stop worrying about me. You have enough to deal with right now. Let me take care of you."
She held him through the night, neither of them able to sleep. Robin continued to sob, really sob, and allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of her for the first time. And Regina took care of him, in full acceptance of the man she loved.