Chapter Twenty-Nine: January 13th

Slam. The door swung open.

Click click click of her heels against the hardwood.

Bang. "Uh!" Her back hitting the wall.

Creak. The door closed. Click. Locked.

Thud. Her purse hitting the ground. Jingle. Her keys quickly following.

Pant pant. Inhale. Moan. Exhale.

Jingle jingle. The sound of his belt coming loose. Zip. His fly opening.

"I can't get enough of you," Robin whispered as his pants hit the floor. Their mouths crashed together again as she was unbuttoned her own pants. Jackets were being stripped and tossed to the side, hands grasped at the material of the other's shirt.

Mwah. Breath breath breath. Their lips parted, their lungs gasping for air. Regina was pushing him into the living room, undressing him quickly. She stumbled slightly from the mixture of tequila and rum in her system. He held her tight, helping her balance, but it didn't stop her. Blurred vision be damned, she was going to fuck the shit out of this man.

They reached the couch and she pushed him to sit, stripped down to only his Calvins by this point. She removed her own shirt and bra as he leaned forward to help her shimmy out of her tight-fitted jeans. Both in their underwear, Regina got on her knees and he lifted his hips so she could pull the boxer briefs down his muscular legs. She didn't waste any time, her mouth immediately around his tip and moving slowly down his shaft.

"Fuck, Regina..." He cried out and tilted his head back, not expecting her to be so hasty. He gripped her hair tight after moving it away from her face so he could watch her.

She licked and sucked and slurped over every inch of him, making sure he was drenched for her. She stood up and hurried out of her panties, he moaned as he finally saw what he wanted. He tried to fall to his knees to get a taste of her, but she shook her head, "Later. I want you so bad."

Who was he to deny her that? He remained seated and expected her to straddle him, but again she surprised him. She pushed his legs together so his knees were touching and turned around. She stood on the couch, Robin taking her hand to keep her steady while she took hold of his member. When she was positioned over him, she sat slowly. Her feet were pressed into the leather couch on either side of his bare thighs as he slipped inside her, both of them moaning at the initial contact. She leaned her back into his chest to allow her legs to do all the work, bending and rising to push him in and pull him out. She grabbed his hands and pulled them around to knead her breasts, nipples pointed with arousal.

"You're unbelievable," he muttered into her ear before taking hold of its lobe between his teeth. She bit her lower lip and moaned loudly, her lack of inhibitions due to her drunken state.

Her pace quickened to the best of her ability, her legs were strong, but her stamina was declining from the pleasure rising in her core. He moved deeper inside her, both whimpering when his thickness was completely surrounded by her wet, pulsating walls. The sensation was intense, causing her to clench from her thighs up into her center.

"Fuck! Oh my- sh-" Robin cried out and dug his nails into her abdomen. She unclenched, her backside still thrusting against his pelvis. He struggled to catch his breath, "What in the bloody hell was that?"

"Did I hurt you?" She breathed out, her eyes closed and her cheek turning to lean into his.

"No, love. That was incredible," he forced her head further to plant a deep kiss on her lips. Her pace was slowing and he could sense that she was getting tired. It had been minutes of continuous squats; he'd be tired too. He parted their lips and gently grasped her ankles, "Rest. Let me do some of the work."

Regina nodded as he helped straighten her legs and placed them gently atop his own. He started slow, thrusting in and out of her as they panted and moaned. He slid one hand down her torso and over her pelvis, his fingers teasing her bundle of nerves.

"Mmmm... Yeah," she whispered and he sucked on her neck.

"How is it, my sweet?" He asked, moving only slightly faster and nibbling on her flesh.

She gripped at the leather of the sofa and arched her back off his chest to feel his length deepen. "Amazing. God- You feel so big!"

He smirked and her loud cries only made him grow harder, the pressure building in his shaft. He moved faster, his fingers in a quick, circular motion on her clit. She hummed and he could feel her body trembling against him.

"Harder," she pleaded and he hesitantly obliged. He didn't want to hurt her again. She nodded, "Like that."

Robin groaned and bit down on her shoulder, his arousal reaching its peak. He wanted to wait for her. He liked it better when they orgasm together; it's like a connection of their souls, a binding of their spirits that they've never experienced with anyone else. But there were times like this when he was with her and... She was perfect: beautiful, sensual, breathtaking, brilliant, desirable...

"Fuck," he said between gritted teeth and exhaled slowly to focus on keeping himself together. His fingers clenched around her hips after he moved away from her sensitive spot. "I- I need-"

"Go ahead," she cut him off, knowing exactly what he needed. Her voice deepened to a sultry tone when she said, "I want to cum a different way anyway."

"Oh my God," he shook his head, wondering how he got so lucky. He was pounding into her, his arms wrapped around her hips to hold her in place. She was shouting with pleasure and he quickly joined her. "Regina, I'm-!"

"Give it to me, baby," she begged. "I want all of it."

Right on cue, Robin exploded inside of her, crying out her name as his arms held on to her as if his life depended on it. She arched her back to feel his love flowing inside her, whispering his name and interlocking their fingers as he rode his orgasm.

He slowed, his body shaking, but his grip still firm around her tiny waist. They remained still, chests heaving as they caught their breath. His next words were spoken to her through gentle pecks against her skin, "You are sensational."

Regina smiled and stood from his lap. He shook his head and asked, "Where do you think you're going?"

He fell to his knees in front of her and urged her legs open. She put one foot on the coffee table to give him better access to her and said, "I love you."

The way she said it was so sincere and vulnerable. He stopped just before kissing her sex and looked up at her. She was smiling at him, reaching down to run her fingers through his hair.

"And I you, my darling," he kissed her hip bone and leaned up, his arms wrapped around her legs as his forehead pressed into her lower abs. He kissed her navel, "Are you alright?"

She nodded, "I don't say it enough."

"You don't have to. I see it in the way you look at me and touch me; the passion with which you make love to me. If I never hear those words from your lips again, I'd be content as long as your actions are true," their eyes met, Robin still on his knees. She felt relieved to hear him say that and he kissed her pelvis, "Now, where was I?"

Regina gasped and tilted her head back, her hair sticking to her sweaty flesh as he sucked on the lips between her legs. He teased her with his tongue, doing things he knew she liked and then stopping abruptly. She finally pulled his hair as a warning and he chuckled into her, the vibrations causing her to tremble. She could barely stand, her arousal and slight dizziness making it difficult.

Robin ceased his ministrations to reposition himself to the side of the couch, bringing her with him. He lay back and urged her to kneel on his shirt and jacket; he'd placed them there to cushion her joints on the hard floor. She was straddled above his face when he leaned up and licked at her opening, having the perfect angle to feast on her sex.

"Shit-" she muttered, tilting forward and pressing her palms into the glass of her coffee table. She closed her eyes, forcing herself harder in desperate need for more. She found his hand placed on the back of her thigh and grabbed hold of it, guiding it to where she wanted him to be. He smirked and snuck one last lick before soaking his fingers in his mouth and sliding them into her, one at a time.

"Yes- Yeah baby- mmmmm," she panted as his fingers curled under her pelvic bone. He moved in and out to start, a warmup for the surprise he had in store. At the same time he changed his licks on her clit, he did the same with his fingers. His circular motion on both areas caused her eyes to widen and her mouth to open, "Fuck- yes, don't stop!"

Robin increased the speed of his ministrations, her hips moving forward to match his pace. She was yelling and he loved every second of it. She cursed, she grunted, she begged until finally she felt herself opening as she dipped her tailbone down ever-so-slightly; it was all she needed. His fingers rubbed over the newly exposed layer, opening it a bit more as she cried out, "Your mouth."

He knew what she wanted, how she wanted to cum. He moved his lips where his fingers were and licked; he used the flattest part of his tongue before forming his lips into sloppy kisses over the skin. She flattened her back as the pressure building within her was too much to handle. Her palms were sweaty against the table, leaving imprints she'd have to remember to wipe away tomorrow.

With each inhale she took, she released a vocalized hum on the exhale until finally squeezing her thighs into his cheeks and allowing her climax to take full control. She screamed his name, begging him not to stop, and telling him how good she felt.

"Tell me again," he'd said, his mouth full of her center.

"I feel fucking great, baby," she'd responded in a low, shouting moan and he forced her hips to stay in place, not giving up on her; wanting her to feel all of her pleasure before pleading for his merciful surrender. The way her legs pressed into him caused his nose to brush her clit as he drank in her juices. She whimpered at the sensation, the nerves so sensitive she thought she might black out if he continued. "Stop."

He stole a few licks before she tilted her hips away from him and said through heavy breaths, "I can't. It's too much."

Robin stayed beneath her, the perfect view of her beautiful, throbbing layers. Her obliques were tight, defining each cut of her abdomen. He rubbed her legs gently and could see her face through the underside of the glass coffee table: her eyes were closed, her teeth digging into her lower lip, sweat present upon her lip scar. He loved that scar. And the beauty mark just beside the left corner of her mouth.

Robin loved Regina. That's all there was to it.

They both awoke the next morning in Regina's bed; blankets strewn about on the floor, limbs outstretched over one another's naked bodies. The light peeking in through the crack in the curtains was enough for them to whine in pain, both relatively hungover and suffering from the resulting headaches.

They readjusted their positions so they could hide their faces from the sun. Regina buried hers in the crook of his neck while Robin threw his arm over his face, hiding his eyes in the bend of his elbow. Her voice was comically muffled when she said, "What the fuck were we thinking?"

"That we're twenty-somethings who don't have children and can throw back tequila flights with ease," he groaned.

"I feel so old," she complained and he grunted in agreement before they fell back to sleep until mid-afternoon.

The holiday season came to a close and the rush of New York City commuters had returned. Robin's parents left for Essex in the first week of the month and the family survived their first snowfall of the new year only a few days later. Regina and Robin were back at work and their children reluctantly went to school.

After a little less than two weeks into January, he noticed that she was distancing herself; not just from him, but from everyone. She laughed less, rarely spoke unless spoken to, and was constantly in a state of reverie. Every time he asked, she told him she was tired and would go to bed without him. He suggested she see doctors or at least let him carry some of her responsibilities so she could rest, but she refused.

"Just give me some time," was her response. It confused him greatly, but he discontinued the vocalization of his worries to honor her request.

He came home after a lecture one weekday afternoon and found Regina on the floor in the master bedroom. He knew she'd gotten up and ready for work. He watched her walk down the stairs to the subway. Yet there she was: in her pajamas, curled in her comforter, staring out the window of the balcony.

He placed his bag on the bed and inched forward, kneeling beside her. With the gentlest touch he could muster, he rested his hand upon her hip. The other pushed a few strands of hair from her face when he whispered, "Regina, my love. What's bothering you?"

Silence. His heart ached as he watched her continue to stare out into the chaos of the city. Her eyes were dark, her body stiff. If it weren't for the tiny movement in her chest, he would have called for emergency assistance or begun CPR.

"Please talk to me. I hate to see you like this," he begged.

She blinked, but barely. Her voice was unsettling when she replied, "Then leave."

What he saw before him was not the woman he fell in love with. Those words, that demeanor; none of it was his precious Regina.

She didn't stir, but it didn't matter. He took the corner of the blanket and wrapped it around her, keeping her warm from the chill of the winter air kissing the sliding door.

"Never," he said confidently and reassuringly as he lay down beside her and held her protectively in his arms.

Her breathing was even, her chest rising and falling to a steady rhythm. Regina had fallen asleep.

Robin stood and lifted her into his arms, releasing her to the comfort of the mattress and tucking her into the blanket. He fingered her hair, leaning down to kiss her forehead softly. He admired her peaceful glow as she slept, her natural beauty consuming his every thought. If only she looked that content while she was awake.

He quietly closed the door of the bedroom as he walked to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Henry and Roland had come home a little while ago and were finishing some homework in the living room.

Maybe Henry knows, he wondered and looked over at the boy. He was close to his mother. Perhaps this happened once before and he would be able to advise the man.

"Henry? Could I have a word?" He asked from behind the counter. The teenager sauntered over, plopping down on the edge of one of the stools. Robin took a deep breath and asked, "Do you know why your mother has been so..."

He let his sentence trail off. How was he supposed to ask this boy if his mother has a history of depression?

"Down in the dumps?" Henry finished for him and then shrugged, "It happens to her every year around this time. It didn't start as early as usual, but that's because she has you."

"Do you know why?"

"When is the 13th?" The boy asked, seemingly ignoring the question.

"Tomorrow," Robin answered. He went to say more, but the teenager was already moving on to his next thought.

"That explains why she's in bed already," he sighed and shook his head. He looked over his shoulder to check that the bedroom was still closed and Roland wasn't within listening distance. "January 13th. It's the day my dad died."

Daniel. Of course, he thought and pain twisted itself around his heart. There was nothing he could do to help her. She was right. She just needed time.

Robin lay beside her, unable to sleep. He listened to her breathing, her nose twitching every so often as she dreamed. They were face to face, his fingers rubbing comforting circles on her hip as she moved closer to him for warmth.

"I love you, Regina," he whispered. She didn't stir, too deep in her slumber to hear him. "I'm sorry you're in pain."

He wasn't sure how much time passed when a grimace appeared on her face. He watched intently, wanting to know what was going on in that beautiful mind. Her arms wrapped around her middle, the corners of her mouth turning down into a frown. The vein in her forehead appeared as her breath became uneven, she was hyperventilating. Robin realized this wasn't a dream; it was a memory.

Her eyes shot open, she sat up in terror. She looked around, disoriented and flustered. He sat up just as quickly, his hand on her back for comfort. Regina was muttering, not forming complete, coherent thoughts. He tried to soothe her, "Regina, you were asleep. You're not there. You're here. Look at me, my love."

She turned her head and their eyes locked, the pain in her face reflecting on his; he was broken because she was. He touched his palm to her cheek wiping her tears with his thumb.

"When will it stop hurting?" She cried to him, finding it difficult to breathe.

His heart broke at her question. And it pained him more that he didn't have an answer. He pulled her into him, trying to hug the heartache away. She sobbed then, her hands gripping his bare back.

"I wish I could take the pain away," he was crying his own tears, falling apart at the mere fact that there was nothing he could do for her, "But I'm here, Regina. I won't ever let go."

Their bodies fell back into the mattress, heads hitting their pillows as they clutched one another; both crying until they fell asleep.

Robin awoke that morning, eyes still heavy from a mixture of tears shed and emotions shared. He rolled over expecting Regina to still be asleep beside him. He panicked when the bed was empty, sitting up and looking around for her. A note was resting on the pillow: Henry and I are visiting Daniel. Roland is in Henry's bed. I don't know when we'll be back. I'll call you. Thank you for being so understanding. I love you. -Regina

He breathed out a sigh of relief that she was safe. He reached for his phone and texted Henry: How is she?

He got out of the bed to check on Roland, still sleeping soundly. He brewed himself a cup of coffee when his phone alerted him of Henry's response: Better than last year. She couldn't get out of bed. Grandma had to take me.

Well, that's a good sign. He wrote back impulsively: I'm getting Roland ready now. We'll meet you.

He woke up his son and got him dressed before slipping on a pair of jeans. Henry sent him the address of the cemetery and after gathering a few things, they were out the door in minutes.

They arrived and immediately spotted the mother and son. Robin held his son's hand and carried a bag in the other. Regina noticed him and took a deep breath, expecting him to have a reassuring speech for her. But he didn't say a word.

Instead, he placed the bag in the grass and unfolded a small blanket over Daniel. He did the same with a larger one just next to it and put take-out containers of breakfast on it. He sat down, the boys joining him to satisfy their hungry bellies. He looked up at her and patted the spot next to him. She hesitated, but ended up sitting and taking the container Henry held out for her. They were silent for a while, focusing on their food.

Robin reached back into the bag and pulled out the star from their Christmas tree that they still hadn't taken down. He leaned it against the headstone and his heart jumped when Regina took his hand. He looked at her and smiled, "So it feels more like home."

Everyone relaxed into the picnic with Daniel and slowly, but surely Regina was starting to feel the light fill her life again. She watched Robin as he kept his body open to be sure Daniel's spirit would remain part of the conversation. He was truly remarkable; so considerate and affectionate. She laughed, yes actually laughed, for the first time in weeks when he proceeded to tell the group about her singing on New Year's. Watching him, so open and honest and accepting... She was confident Daniel would have really liked Robin; they could have been friends if things had been different.

The couple cleaned together while Henry took Roland for a private chat with his father. The young boy said he never felt properly introduced and the teenager insisted they change that. It was sweet and she was surprised her son was able to hold it together the way he was. He was her rock and she was his, but it seemed like he didn't need her to be anymore. Perhaps Grace took on that role. And maybe Henry believed Robin had done the same for her. Regardless, he was doing fine and each time she made eye contact with her lover, she knew she would be too.

"I'm gonna take Roland to find a bathroom in the main building. Meet you there?" Henry asked, taking the boy's hand as he glanced at his mother. She simply nodded and watched them until they made it safely inside.

Robin placed his hand on her back and said, "I'll be standing just beneath that tree, alright, love?"

"No, please stay," she pleaded nervously. He kissed her cheek softly.

"You need your time with him, but I won't be far," he said and she seemed to feel better.

He took his spot beneath the tree and watched her as she proceeded to lay in the grass, picking at it as she spoke. She looked the same way she did when he held her and she picked at his chest hair. Maybe it was something that comforted her when she grew close to a man; regardless, he would never feel second best because of it. Regina loves him and she loves Daniel. It was on the table from their first date. So he kept his end of the promise as well: to love her honestly.

He couldn't hear what she was saying, but he saw her tears and only hoped it wouldn't hurt her too much. She was finished much faster than he expected and she actually seemed to be okay. Crying, yes, but her natural radiance was slowly returning. It thrilled him.

"I'm ready when you are," she sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist for a comforting embrace.

He was happy to oblige, but didn't allow it to linger. He pulled away and said, "There's something I have to do. This will only take a moment."

Robin walked to the headstone and knelt next to it, keeping his back to her since he knew she'd be watching. He began to speak to Daniel's spirit, "I don't know if you brought me to her or her to me, but I want to thank you sincerely for guiding us in this direction. I know she loves us both and I want you to know that you have my absolute respect. I never want to replace you, but I do love your family. Very much. And I hope I can have your blessing."

As he finished his sentence, it began to snow. Regina approached him and said, "We really need to get the boys home."

Robin took her hand and they walked to meet up with their sons. He looked up at the white flakes, watching them flutter ever-so-softly to the ground. It wasn't supposed to snow that day; as a matter of fact, it wasn't even cold enough for it.

This was a sign. It had to be. He didn't know what it meant, but he smiled and looked over his shoulder to Daniel's grave, thinking to himself, I'll take this as a yes.