Chapter 3

Blair sat at her vanity in her robe. She opened her lip stick drawer and began to dig through it to find the color she was looking for. She found it in the very back of the drawer. The color was a light pink. She though it would go perfect with her fuchsia dress that she planned to wear to the Vanderbilt country house that evening. She tried to remember the last time she had been there. It was probably at the very end of high school. The week she found out she was not going to Yale. She remembered that night like it was yesterday. She had Chuck pinned against a wall. She had on a navy dress and bright red lip stick. Blair remembered looking at Chuck's lips after she had kissed them that night. She had so much lip color on that night that she made his lips bright red to match hers. Blair remembered just wanting him that night. She wanted to be with him in every way possible. She wanted Chuck to take her up to one of the bedrooms and fuck her to the point that she couldn't even remember her name. Blair had counted on Chuck for an escape that night. And he had turned her down.

She remembers feeling hurt. Not only because she wanted to be with Chuck but because she wanted him to comfort her after the sex. She wanted to stay in his arms until she felt like she could face the reality that was her life. Chuck didn't know how to be that for her at the time. Instead Nate found her and they connected again. Blair regretted that night and the decision that she made to give Nate and another try. In the end it only hurt Chuck more. And she couldn't stand to hurt him. She almost cried thinking about her feelings that night. Even with how upset she was about Yale still all she wanted was Chuck. And he couldn't be what she needed him to be. She wished she could go back to that night and play it out differently. Maybe if she wasn't so messed up at the time then he would have wanted to be with her. Maybe if she didn't make things so hard for him he would have known what to say to make her whole.

She decided to put the past out of her mind for the time being and focus on the evening. She was excited to see Serena and Nate. Then there was Chuck. She had briefly considered not going, but she had a feeling if she stayed home her friends would come to her. Serena and Nate were nosey like that. And they were very persistent about getting what they wanted. She wasn't an idiot. She knew the reason they planned this weekend was to try and get her and Chuck back together. If they only knew the whole story they wouldn't even bother. Blair didn't know what she wanted. Half of the time she was convinced that her and Chuck could never be fixed. The other half of the time she didn't care about their problems. She would be ready to throw it all away because she just wanted him. She wanted to smell him on her clothes. She wanted to feel his lips on hers. If she wasn't so tired last night she may have let go. She may have tried to forget and just be with him anyway. But the other part of her knew that it wasn't the time. She was grateful for his comfort, until her dream. That dream made her feel and look vulnerable. She was embarrassed that he caught her in the nightmare. She had wanted to yell and scream at him this morning for the fact that he betrayed her trust the night she was with Jack. But she also knew that if she did that she would hurt him and she knew he was already hurting.

Tonight she would keep herself composed and together even if it killed her inside.

When Blair got to the Vanderbilt country house that night she saw Serena standing on the porch. She was wearing a bright red coat and hugging herself. Her teeth were chattering. Blair got out of her limo and rushed to the porch.

"Serena… what are you doing out here? It's freezing!"

"Hey B!" Serena exclaimed, excited to see her friend after her trip. She reached out and gave Blair a hug.

"It's nice to see you too S." Blair told her hugging her back. "But what are you doing outside? I'm assuming it's warm inside with the fireplace and everything…"

Blair tried to pass Serena's tall frame and get inside.

"Wait!" Serena shouted before turning her words to a whisper. "It's just that well…Chuck is in there. I want to make sure you are ok, prepared, to see him."

Blair frowned. "I'm fine Serena." She tried to move past her friend again but Serena wasn't convinced and she wasn't moving.

"B what happened between you two? I thought for sure you'd be back together by now."

Blair sighed. "Can we talk about this somewhere warm or maybe not at all? " Blair was now holding herself and shaking. "

Serena just stared at her waiting for her to answer her question.

"Serena! Seriously… ? I have to Pee!" Blair shouted. She pushed her friend out of the way and made her way in the house. She could tell her friend was silently sulking behind her but she didn't care. She turned and saw Nate sitting in the living room.

"Hey Blair!" Nate exclaimed giving her a smile.

"Excuse me I have to use the bathroom." Blair said loud and determined like she had just announced that she was going to join the army.

Blair rushed up the stairs. She knew exactly where the bathroom was. Sadly the bathroom in this house held a lot of memories for Blair. Tears she had shed over Nate paying more attention to Serena than her happened in that bathroom. Dinner's she ate but convinced herself she couldn't keep came up again in there. She probably spent more time in the bathroom than she did anywhere else in that house. And right now she found herself in need of some alone time to compose herself and convince herself she hadn't made a horrible mistake in showing up tonight.

She made it to the bathroom and tried turning the door knob. It was locked. Who? She thought. Oh…

The door opened and there he was. Blair froze.

"Did you…I mean…" Blair stammered. She sighed. "Are you finished?"

Chuck didn't answer he just stood there for a moment looking at her, all of her. He had that look of his face. Blair knew it well. That look that he only ever gave her. The look that meant she was the most desirable women he had ever known and he wanted her, now.

Blair felt her face grow hot. She knew it was red. She decided she had to speak again to him if only to break the awkward sexual tension that was happening between them.

"Bass!" She exclaimed!

Chuck's eyes locked with hers. "Hmm? Oh sorry." He mumbled as he moved out of the way of the door.

Blair rushed into the bathroom and hurried and slammed the door behind her before she had a chance to look into his eyes again.

Chuck stood there for a moment staring at the bathroom door. His stomach fluttered. Blair always looked beautiful. But tonight, for some reason, he had wanted her more than ever. It was inevitable. He could never stay away from her very long without going there with his thoughts. He imagined how great it would be if they were still together. He would take her into one of the bedrooms and they would fuck each other till they couldn't see straight. Then afterwards he would hold her, kiss her temples, and smell her hair. He had only ever done that sort of thing with her. She was the only one he ever cared about enough to let stay after sex. He honestly wouldn't mind if she stayed there like that forever. He loved the feelings he had, when they were done making love and he was holding her in his arms. He would look at her when she was sleeping and he felt completely whole. He longed for that feeling; the feeling that she was all his and nothing could ever change that. No other girl had ever come close to making him feel that way, and he seriously doubted that any other girl would.

In the bathroom Blair stared into the mirror. Her face was red. She was blushing. She rubbed her cheeks with her hands and took in a deep breath. She shook her head back and forth trying to get the image of Chuck's face just then out of her head. Of course she was failing. Why did she have to care so much? She could usually keep herself composed in the most awkward of situations. But when it came to him, she acted like such a scared little girl. She was so embarrassed. She hated how weak Chuck made her.

After fixing up her makeup and another couple of deep breaths, Blair was finally ready to exit the bathroom. She figured Chuck was probably downstairs by now with Nate and Serena. And with Serena and Nate there, Blair was convinced that being in the same room with Chuck would not be all that hard. She stepped out of the bathroom and started making her way down the hall to toward the stairs when his voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Blair…" Chuck spoke only loud enough for her to hear him.

Blair turned around to see him standing right in front of her again.

"Can't we talk?" he asked her pointing to an empty room.

Blair stared at the empty room dumbfounded for a moment. What could he possibly want other than to rip her clothes off and throw her on that bed? She remembered the way he was looking at her before she went into the bathroom. She was not stupid. The two of them being in a room alone together was not a good idea right now.

"Actually…" she started not looking directly into his eyes for fear she might lose her composure. " I'd rather not."

She turned and started quickly heading for the stairs. He reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Let go of me Bass!" She exclaimed pulling her hand away.

"Please…" Chuck pleaded to her in a whisper. He didn't want Serena and Nate involved in he and Blair's love life any more than they already were.

Blair paused. Why did he do this to her? She heard the pleading way he spoke and her heart ached. She knew she was the only one who could take his suffering away and even though he had made her suffer, she desperately wanted to fix him and make him feel whole. She said nothing just walked into the empty guest room. Chuck followed behind her and he closed the door.

Blair looked around the room. For a room that wasn't used a lot it sure was clean and well decorated. She admired the purple and yellow fabrics in the bedspread. She reached out her hand and felt the blanket on the bed trying again not to look at him. She had her back turned to him when she spoke.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked him hesitantly.

Chuck sighed and came over to her. Blair could feel him standing behind her. The skin on the outside of her body filled up with goose bumps.

"Could you at least look at me?" He asked her practically right in her ear. She shivered.

"No." she told him. "Just tell me please, so I can go back downstairs. Or maybe I'll get lucky and Serena will come up looking for me."

"You know neither of them is going to do that Blair. They want us doing this."

"Doing what?" She asked him already knowing the answer.

"They want us to fix things between us, or at least try to fix things between us." Chuck answered her, moving in a little closer and putting one of his hands on her waist. Chuck was now close enough that he could take in her scent. She even smelled irresistible. But he was careful not to make any other moves until he saw Blair's reaction.

A lump formed in Blair throat. She swallowed. Her throat suddenly became horribly dry. "Is that what we are doing?" she asked him. She barely got the words out without sounding slightly like a toad.

Chuck put his other hand on her waist and this time leaned all the way into her neck and whispered. "Is that what you want?"

Blair stopped breathing for a minute. She had to gain control of her brain. She knew this was why they were in the room. Or at least it was part of it. But she couldn't force herself to move away from him. She felt his hot breath on her neck and she was convinced he could hear her heart pounding from inside her chest. Her hand gripped the blanket on the bed. If she turned to face him she knew exactly what would take place and she couldn't allow it to happen.

Chuck waited another minute for her response. He only heard the sound of her breathing heavily It was easy to tell she wanted him in that moment as much as he wanted her. He supposed his questions for her could wait. Blair was the most important thing to him in that moment and he wanted her. That was all his mind could process right then, wanting her. So he decided to take a risk. He moved his mouth onto her bare shoulder and started kissing down her bare back.

Blair's eyes rolled into the back of her head. Her mind was basically mush now. Somewhere in her head she could hear the faint sound of herself screaming at her body not do what she was about to do. She spent a few minutes arguing back and forth with her angel and devil before turning around and kissing him hard on the mouth. She grabbed onto the back of his head and pulled his face into hers. She couldn't kiss him more violently if she tried. Her mouth was basically attacking his. She felt his tongue trace hers slowly in an effort to keep things slow. But Blair did not want to slow down. She wanted him, all of him, right then!

She turned and Chuck quickly unzipped her dress before she had a chance to turn around he was already in front of her. Their lips found each other again and Chuck layed down on the bed never breaking their kiss. Blair moved on top of him and straddling him she ripped his shirt off and began kissing down his chest. Chuck took the next step and removed his pants. Blair quickly unstrapped her bra and he grabbed her breasts rubbing her nipples so he could watch them harden into little pink buds. She moaned as she reached both of her hands down to grab his cock. Feeling his long hard length she wrapped her hands around his penis and moved them up and down. Chuck let her give him a hand job for a minute before deciding he could no longer wait anymore. He grabbed her hands and rolled her onto her back. He looked into her eyes while he was removing her thong. Chuck didn't want to stop, at all but if her eyes gave him any indication that she wanted him to stop right there, he would have.

Blair looked back at him panting. Her eyes were full of want for him. She couldn't stop now if she wanted to. He had her on her back and he was going to have his way with her and Blair wanted him to. She forcefully grabbed his back pulling him close to her. Chuck took his right hand and started rubbing her clit with his thumb. His other hand was stroking her right breast. Blair whimpered impatiently. She couldn't take the teasing much longer. She wanted him inside of her. She wanted to feel him fill her up.

"Chuuuck…" she moaned his name before she let her impatience take over her vocal cords. " Get in me...NOW!" she whispered with frustration.

Chuck looked at her and smiled. "As you wish." He said to her as his cock found her entrance.

He filled her up and moved his cock in and out of her pussy back and forth…back and forth… taking his time inside of her. He loved playing this game with her. It turned him on so much when she was impatient with him. Blair grabbed his ass and pushed him into her as hard as she could, hoping he would get the hint that she wanted it harder, faster. Chuck got the message loud and clear. He pushed himself up, both of his hands next to her head and thrust himself into her with such force that she moaned loudly in pleasure. Chuck took one of his hands and covered her mouth.

"Careful…" he whispered to her. " We are not alone here remember?"

She didn't answer him. She was too busy enjoying the feeling of him inside her. He continued to move in and out with force over and over one last few thrusts until Blair's eyes got wide. "Oh…..God!" she exclaimed while losing it. She closed her eyes and turned her head. She continued her panting. Chuck continued to ride her slowing down a bit until he came at the sight of the pleasure on her face.

After he got off of her, he layed down next to her. Her back was now facing him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the back of her shoulder. They layed together like that for about ten minutes before Chuck decided to break the silence.

"Blair…" he said softly. " Are you ok?"

Blair took a deep breath and turned to face him. She studied his face. He looked genuinely nervous that what just happened between them may have done more harm than good.

She touched his cheek with her hand and without answering him she moved closer to him and buried her head in his chest.

Chucked sighed a sigh of relief because she didn't seem to be upset about anything. But he decided he should try and talk to her one more time.

"Blair… Are you ok?" He asked her again.

Blair lifted her head up and looked at him. Tears formed in her eyes.

"No…I'm not." She answered him truthfully. "But I don't know who else besides you to be with right now. I don't exactly feel safe by myself."

Chuck gave her a look of confusion wondering what that last statement really meant. He was going to ask her about what she had just said but then she yawned and shut her eyes.

"Why can't we stop this Chuck?" she asked him in a sleepy tone burying her head once again into his chest.

"Stop what?" He asked.

"Falling for one another, even in the worst of circumstances."

"We love each other Blair." He stated simply as he stroked her hair.

"I know…" Blair said still tired. She paused for a moment and then in a sad defeated voice she added "But loving each other doesn't change what happened to me that night."

Chuck's heart sank when she mentioned that night.

Blair stopped speaking but kept her eyes closed. It looked like she was going to let herself sleep it off. Chuck watched her sleep his heart broken inside of him. He took his hand and wiped a stray tear off of her face.

He still planned to fix things. He could not lose her. In the morning he would have the discussion with her that he planned to have that night. No exceptions or distractions. He had to know what he needed to do to get her back.