A/N: Guest: I'm sorry you're not interested in a making-of chapter, but others are. Regarding your request for me to "get on with this story and this story alone," I can only go as fast as my muse allows, and I have so many other stories running through my mind that sometimes my attention gets diverted. As for "the other stories [I] chuck out which are just shit au stories that no one wants to read," I think it's clear from the follows, favs, and reviews they're getting that they are being read and even enjoyed.

To the rest of you, thanks again for your patience. I know it's going a bit slowly, but I'm getting close to the ending, so hopefully updates will be a bit more frequent. Here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. :)

Chapter Twelve

Dragon Island

Dad,

Toothless and I have left Berk. I'm sorry, but I just can't continue to be Hiccup the Useless, which is all I have been ever since you set your stupid plan into motion. I have tried to forgive you all for that, but I haven't been able to. Not while you still treat me like I might fall apart if you so much as look at me the wrong way. Don't you realize that acting like I'm fragile only kept the memories of what you did alive and fresh in my mind? Why couldn't you just treat me like a human being? It's all I ever wanted, even before I met Toothless. And yet it's the one thing you continue to deny me.

So we've left. I can't take it anymore. I won't tell you where we've gone, and please don't come looking for me. I want to be alone with Toothless. He's the only one who ever treated me like an equal, and he's a dragon for Thor's sake! I don't know if or when I'll come back. It might be never. I have to figure a few things out before I even consider returning, and I suggest you all do some heavy thinking of your own in the meantime. Try to figure out where you went wrong, because I can't be a part of you again until you do and have taken steps to fix the problem. Maybe it will be easier for you without me there. I know it will be easier for me.

I know you were only trying to protect me, and that in some twisted way you actually care about me. And for some reason I still love you, Dad. I'm just very angry and still hurting, and I need some time and space. Maybe we all do.

Your son,

Hiccup

Stoick had read the note so many times he practically had it memorized, but that didn't stop him from reading it one more time. With each word he felt his heart constrict tighter and tighter until he thought it might just shatter into a thousand pieces.

He had found the note lying on Hiccup's bed when he'd gone to wake him up that morning. His hands had trembled so badly that he'd had a hard time making it through the words his son had written, words fueled by fury and pain. Refusing to believe that Hiccup could have actually run away, he'd searched the little bedroom, only to find several items missing. He'd checked the kitchen and found some food gone. He'd looked all over the village but had come up empty-handed.

So it was true. Hiccup had left.

And he had no one to blame but himself.

He'd called a meeting in the Great Hall, and everyone listened in stunned silence as the chief read his son's note aloud. No one said anything when he finished. The quiet was so absolute that one could have heard a needle hit the floor.

Gobber was the first to speak. In a soft, faintly trembling voice, he asked, "So now what? What do we do?"

It was a moment before anyone answered.

"We should go look for him!" Snotlout said. "He can't just up and leave like this!"

"Uh…I think he just did," Tuffnut observed, though without his usual humor.

"Maybe it's for the best?" Fishlegs offered, sounding as if he wasn't so sure himself. "If Madguts the Murderous really is coming, then maybe it's good Hiccup isn't around for him to take. He'll be safer."

No one contradicted him, but it was clear that everyone present didn't like his answer.

Stoick put his head in his hands. "My poor boy," he murmured. "What have I done? I only wanted to keep him safe, but everything I do comes back to haunt me."

Astrid sniffed and quickly wiped her eyes. She refused to let anyone see her cry. Clearing her throat, she said, "Maybe…maybe we ought to just step back and…and let Hiccup sort out his thoughts like he said."

All eyes turned to her, not a few in anger at her suggestion. She colored slightly but kept her back straight. She glanced over to Heather, who was standing with her parents in the far corner of the hall. The black-haired girl met her eyes and nodded almost imperceptibly.

She then looked at Stoick, who was gazing at her, his brow furrowed in thought. He was silent for a few minutes. Then, slowly, he said, "As much as it pains me as a father…I think you're right, Astrid."

There was an outbreak of shocked mutterings at this, but everyone quieted down when the chief held up a hand. He looked back down at the note, rereading it again, and then he went on, "If we go looking for him, then we prove him right. We've been coddling him in an attempt to regain his trust, and it's backfired. He's sixteen years old, he has to learn to make his own choices. If he wants some space and time, then we'll give it to him. Maybe he's right. Perhaps this is what we all need: some time apart from each other to figure out where to go from here." He paused. "I don't want to do it," he admitted after a moment. "I want to go after him and bring him back home. But that's only going to make him angrier, and if we want him to heal then I think we should let him go. It hurts me as his father to say this, but I'm going to let him make this choice. He needs this, and so do we. Besides," he added, "he has Toothless with him. As long as he has that dragon, he should be safe."

He looked around the hall and saw that no one looked pleased with this decision, but no one argued. He could see in their eyes that they knew he was right, and that knowledge pained them as it did him. He sighed and continued, "We can only hope and pray that he'll be able to work it out and return to us soon. And while he's away, we should all try to figure out how to fix this horrible mess we've made."

He dismissed the meeting, and everyone left the hall in dejected silence.

Or almost everyone.

"Where do you think he's gone?" Gobber asked, looking sadly down into his mug.

Stoick sighed. "I don't know, Gobber. He could be anywhere…"

"No, not really," said a voice, and they both looked up. Astrid was standing a few feet away, her hands twisted together. "He'll want to go somewhere where he can get away from everyone. Meaning…"

"That he won't go anywhere that's inhabited," Stoick finished for her, understanding.

Gobber looked from one to the other, frowning in confusion. "But that doesn't leave anywhere in the Archipelago for him to go."

"Yes it does," Astrid corrected him. "He won't go anywhere inhabited by people." She and Stoick exchanged significant looks. "Dragons, on the other hand…"

Gobber's eyes lit up as he figured it out. "You mean he's…?"

"Yes," Stoick said, nodding. "He's gone to Dragon Island."

…

Hiccup slid from Toothless' back and looked around the cave, nodding in satisfaction. "This'll do nicely, don't you think?" he asked the dragon, who crooned questioningly in reply. "It's remote, private…shelter from any bad weather…sure, it's not a grand house, but it will do just fine."

Toothless just grumbled noncommittally.

Hiccup reached into the bag he had slung over his shoulder and pulled out an apple and a fish. Tossing the cod to Toothless, who gobbled it up at once, he took a bite out of the fruit, sighing contentedly. He had enough food to last a few days, and after that he could catch fish and cook them with Toothless' fire. He'd done it before, back when he was first learning to fly the Night Fury in secret. He saw no reason why he couldn't do it again.

He pulled out a sleeping roll and laid it out along the cave floor. He then retrieved his sketchbook and starting drawing Toothless, who had curled up for a little nap. As he worked, a smile crossed his face, a smile he hadn't worn in a very long time. He was free again. Here, he didn't have to think about what others were thinking about him. He didn't have to worry about being treated like he was a fragile little figurine that could shatter under the slightest bit of pressure. He didn't have to pretend he didn't see them all glancing at him nervously, as if afraid he would throw himself off the cliff. He was his own man here, no one to tell him to be careful, to hide and keep out of trouble, to worry about protecting poor, defenseless, useless Hiccup…

Freedom felt nice.

Except…

He sighed and put down the sketchbook. The drawing was complete and it looked great. Yet he found he couldn't quite muster up any pride over it. After all, there was no one here to share his accomplishment with.

Well, you did come out here to think, a little voice in his head whispered. You knew you were going to have to consider your problem.

It was true. But that didn't make it any easier. He would have much preferred to push it out of his mind entirely, but this was impractical. He couldn't stay here on Dragon Island forever, he knew that. For one thing, he could hardly exist on fish alone for the rest of his life. For another, he was going to get bored quickly. Sure, there was Toothless, but even with his dragon friend by his side he knew he was going to run out of things to do. After all, there were only so many pages in the sketchbook, and when the charcoal pencil went dull…well…

And at any rate, Dragon Island was hardly a secret hideout. He'd brought the other teens here on training exercises multiple times and saw no reason why Astrid or Fishlegs or whoever took over the Dragon Academy wouldn't do the same. No, he'd have to go somewhere else at some point in the near future. The only question was whether it would be Berk or some other island. He supposed he could join the Meatheads. Mogadon would surely welcome him with open arms. But even this thought did not cheer him up.

Dear Thor, what was he going to do?

It was a question that hounded him for days, always niggling in the back of his mind no matter what he was doing. He ran through potential courses of action so many times he lost count:

His first option: he could just leave Berk completely, just take off and never look back. He wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness or the tension that had been a constant presence at home for the last two months. He could start over, build a new life for himself without having to deal with the memories of what he'd been put through. No one on Meathead Island, for example, had ever tried to hurt him. He'd be able to begin anew with a clean slate, make new friends, perhaps find someone to fall in love with and start a family with. And it didn't have to be just Meathead Island. There was the Peaceable Tribe. They would certainly welcome him. The Peaceables detested fights and bloodshed, so there wouldn't be any issue, he was certain.

Yet this plan had downsides. For one, it was a tremendous risk to just set off for Thor-knew-what without any idea of what he might face. Suppose whatever tribe he tried to join rejected him outright and told him to leave? Or what if they did take him in but refused to treat him as an equal? It was possible: he was small and runty, by all definitions a hiccup. What was to stop any tribe from treating him the same way he'd been treated by Stoick and the others? Sure, Mogadon probably wouldn't allow it, but there was no guarantee that it still wouldn't happen without his knowledge. After all, he couldn't be everywhere at once, and surely he'd believe the word of his own people over that of the skinny little newcomer.

And then there was the simple fact that Hiccup had a hard time making friends among Vikings. It had taken him nearly fifteen years to forge the relationships he'd had back on Berk. How long would it take to convince the villagers of another island that he didn't have to be big and brawny in order to be a decent human being? Could they be convinced at all? Viking tribes tended to believe that only the strong could belong, and he just wasn't strong, not the kind of strong they wanted anyway. Would he be leaving one place he felt he didn't belong to only to wind up just as lonely and friendless as before? It hardly seemed like an improvement from his current station.

His second option: he could leave Berk with no destination in mind. He and Toothless could just go wherever they wanted, explore the uncharted regions of the world beyond the Archipelago. He wouldn't have to worry about fitting in anywhere or pleasing anyone other than himself and his dragon friend. The two of them could exist quite happily on their own, he knew that. He'd proven it back when he was first befriending Toothless: he'd been truly at peace around the Night Fury and knew they could be perfectly content on their own together.

But this plan presented problems too. If he and Toothless went off on their own, they would be quite literally on their own. There would be no one to help them if they ran into trouble. And trouble there would certainly be. He had no idea what lay beyond the Archipelago, but he had no doubt that there would be danger and risk. There would be people who had never seen dragons before, he supposed, people who would shoot them down before he even got the chance to show them how great these creatures could be. And once they'd killed Toothless, he was sure to follow along behind him.

Even without that threat there was something that made Hiccup hesitant to take this route. He had to face reality: he was a human, and as such he was a social creature. It was fully within reason that he could get lonely for human companionship. Toothless was a wonderful friend, the best he'd ever had, but he was still a dragon. He could hardly have a deep and meaningful two-sided conversation with him. And what if he someday did want to settle down and start a family? What chance would he have of that if he remained on his own with his Night Fury as his only friend?

Which left only one other option left: return to Berk. And it was true, there were some pros to this plan. He did at least know the villagers and was even friends with several of them. They had incorporated dragons into their daily lives so there was minimal risk of Toothless getting hurt at their hands. And Stoick had promised that he would never be treated as a hiccup again.

Except…well, he already knew the cons to this option. He'd been living with those cons for two months. The constant tension and discomfort, always feeling like everyone thought he was on the brink of mental collapse, the forced cheer, the refusal or perhaps inability to treat him like a human being…

No. He couldn't go back. At least not yet. Maybe he could someday, once the villagers had figured out that he wasn't quite as fragile as they seemed to think. But until then he was better off away from Berk. As for what to do until then…well, he had some time to think about it. In the meantime he was content to live here on Dragon Island.

In fact, he was more than content. As the days passed and he was able to relax and unwind, he found himself bypassing "content" and going straight to "happy." He lived in the cave on the west side of the island, sleeping as late as Toothless allowed him every morning. He spent his days flying and exploring parts of the island with his friend, who defended him from any wild dragons that presented themselves. He soon ran out of the food he'd brought from Berk and lived on fish he caught and any fruits he found growing on the island. When it rained they huddled together in the shelter of the cave, watching the water patter against the ground outside. They ended each day with a sunset flight over the ocean, and when night descended Hiccup would fall asleep nestled against Toothless' scaly side. It was a peaceful existence for them both, and for the first time in so long Hiccup was able to let his guard down. He still thought about his choice and wondered what his next move ought to be, but he was never able to come to a firm decision and thus determined he would put off the time of selection a while longer.

Two weeks passed like this, two weeks of utter peace and tranquility punctuated by the occasional thought of the future. But, as predicted, Hiccup began to grow bored of Dragon Island. The time was rapidly approaching when he'd have to pick a path, but he still had no idea what he was going to do. And he often caught himself wondering what his family and friends were doing back on Berk. One rainy afternoon, he found himself reclining in the cave, his mind wandering and considering the possibilities. Had Madguts visited yet? What would he do when he found out his sought-after Dragon Conqueror was no longer among them? Had Heather and her family returned home yet? What did she think of his leaving? Did she miss him? Had Berk learned from their mistakes yet? How were they coping without him? How were the other teens handling lessons at the Academy? He figured Astrid and Fishlegs were capable of leading Snotlout and the twins, but it couldn't be denied that no one knew dragons as well as Hiccup did, so he couldn't help but wonder how they were faring. He hadn't seen any sign of them, so it didn't seem their training was taking them out as far as it once had.

Unless…

He sat up a little straighter as a thought occurred to him. Toothless warbled questioningly, but Hiccup paid him no mind.

Had they perhaps figured out where he was hiding?

It was possible, he supposed. Astrid in particular knew him well enough to know where he'd go to find peace and solitude. Was the lack of response from Berk due not to their ignorance of his location but instead to the fact they were actually heeding his wishes? After all, he had asked them not to come searching for him. So if they knew where he was and hadn't come, then…

"Maybe they are learning after all," he mused aloud, and to his surprise he felt his heart lift hopefully at the thought. Toothless crooned, confused by the emotions he sensed rolling off his human friend, but Hiccup merely reached back and subconsciously scratched a spot under his chin to calm him.

His hope and relief lasted only through the night, however, for the very next day he looked up at the sky at the sound of Toothless' warning bark to see two shapes descending toward him. Two very familiar shapes.

Meatlug was the first dragon to land. "Hiccup!" Fishlegs cried in delight, sliding down from the Gronckle's back. He looked as if he wanted nothing more than to give Hiccup a huge, bone-crushing hug, but he held himself back.

Hookfang landed just beside Meatlug, but to Hiccup's surprise it wasn't Snotlout who jumped down to the ground, but Gobber.

Hiccup crossed his arms. "You know, I'm pretty sure the note I left said not to come looking for me."

"Easy lad," Gobber said, holding his hand up in placation. "That's not why we're here."

Hiccup raised his eyebrows. "Then why are you here?"

"Just to give you an update on what's been going on," Fishlegs answered. "You know, since you're cut off from Berk out here, we figured it might help you make a decision if you knew what's been happening."

Hiccup considered this for a moment and then nodded. It made sense, he supposed.

"Well, Madguts has come and gone," Gobber said. "He was obviously disappointed to hear that you left, but since it was clear we weren't hiding you, he simply departed without a fuss."

"They sure do smell, though, the Murderous Tribe," Fishlegs remarked, making a face at the memory. "Like rotten haddock mingled with bad eggs. Trust me, you had a lucky break, Hiccup."

Despite himself, Hiccup couldn't help but grin a little.

"You have been missed, lad, I don't mind telling you," Gobber went on. "For one thing, my work load at the forge has pretty much doubled. I had never noticed before just how much you managed to get done. Besides, it's boring work without your sarcasm to help pass the time."

"And lessons at the Academy aren't as fun, either," Fishlegs confessed. "We're managing well enough, I guess, but no one gets the dragons like you do. And none of us can possibly control the twins…"

"I didn't do so great a job of that, either, I think," Hiccup remarked.

Fishlegs shrugged. "Better than us, at any rate. At least under you we all managed to get stuff done. But since you left we've been flying in circles!"

Hiccup's eyes narrowed. "You're trying to guilt me into returning."

"No, not at all!" Gobber protested. "We're just telling you the truth."

Hiccup merely hummed in reply. He wasn't sure if he believed his old mentor or not.

"Oh! And I have a message from your dad," Gobber added, almost as an afterthought.

Hiccup stiffened noticeably but said nothing, waiting to hear what his father had to say.

"He wants you to know that he's sorry," the blacksmith recited. "He hopes you realize he never wanted to cause all the trouble he has and that he prays you're safe and happy. He knows that you need some time and agrees that some distance might be beneficial to everyone. But he really misses you and hopes that you'll at least come and visit soon, so that you can see the village's attempts to learn from our mistakes. Still, he understands your reasons for reacting the way you did. So take all the time you need in order to heal."

Hiccup didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent. But his heart was suddenly aching. Was it really possible that Stoick had figured out where he went wrong and was taking steps to fix the problem? Could it really be that Berk was changing, figuring out how to treat him? It was almost too much to hope for, and yet…

"Well, that's it, I suppose," Gobber said, his tone suddenly brisk and businesslike. "I guess we'll leave you to your thoughts now." He shuffled his foot awkwardly and added, "It's…it's good to see that you're well, Hiccup."

"Yeah," seconded Fishlegs. "We'll tell everyone that you're doing fine. They'll be glad to hear it."

Hiccup nodded and managed to say, "Thanks."

Fishlegs and Gobber remounted their dragons and prepared to take off. But before they left the ground, Hiccup blurted out completely without meaning to, "How is Astrid doing?"

Fishlegs and Gobber exchanged looks of surprise, and Hiccup felt his face go red. He silently cursed himself for his curiosity.

"She's okay, I guess," Fishlegs said after a moment. "Though she hasn't been the same since you left."

"Oh?" Hiccup said weakly. "What do you mean?"

"She misses you, lad," Gobber said seriously. "She comes by the forge almost every day, as if she hopes to find you there. She's almost as torn up about it as your dad, but she's giving you the space you wanted."

Hiccup wasn't sure, but he rather thought a cool, slightly disappointed note had entered Gobber's voice, as if the blacksmith was upset with his apprentice for hurting the girl he had once loved, the girl who clearly still loved him enough to grant him his wish despite the pain it caused her. And for some reason, hearing – or thinking he was hearing – that tone made Hiccup feel ashamed of himself.

Gobber and Fishlegs took off and flew away before he could articulate a reply, leaving him alone with Toothless and his own troubled thoughts.

…

A few days later, Hiccup received another visitor.

He heard the dragon before he saw it, and as he looked up, scanning the skies for the newcomer, he thought he recognized the screech it made. Sure enough, when his eyes fell on the Nadder drawing nearer, he knew it at once: Stormfly.

So she hasn't learned her lesson after all, he thought, yet he couldn't stop his heart from lifting at the thought of a visit from Astrid. He blinked, stunned. No, he was supposed to be angry! She was coming to see him after he explicitly stated he didn't want people searching for him or dropping in on him all the time! She'd even said she was going to give him what he wanted! Yet for some reason, he couldn't quite muster up the appropriate amount of ire.

And then Stormfly landed, and he received another surprise. It wasn't Astrid sitting in the saddle at all.

"Heather?" he said as the black-haired girl slid from the Nadder's back. "What in Thor's name are you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd come visit," Heather replied easily, smiling at him as if he hadn't run away without saying good-bye.

"Oh," was all Hiccup could say for a moment. He looked over at Stormfly, who nipped at an itch under her wing and called a greeting to Toothless. The Night Fury warbled happily in return. "Astrid let you borrow Stormfly?" he asked after a couple of awkwardly silent seconds.

"Yes," Heather answered, nodding. "Since she and I have flown together before, I felt most comfortable with her. Astrid was very agreeable once I promised I wasn't using her to do some foul deed or other." She winked playfully.

"So you're still on Berk?" Hiccup verified. "I'd have thought you'd have returned home by now."

He flinched inwardly. He hadn't meant for the words to sound so snide and accusatory. But Heather didn't seem hurt by his comment and merely said, "Oh, I convinced them to let me stay for a little while longer. I thought my presence might be needed."

Hiccup frowned. "I'm afraid I don't follow."

"Well," she said thoughtfully, "I do have experience in the field of betraying and then asking for forgiveness. I thought I could give the village some pointers."

Hiccup didn't know how to reply.

"For example," she went on, "I told them that the first step they had to take – the first step I had to take when it was me in their position – was to ask for forgiveness. Your father told me that they already had. Is that correct?"

Hiccup nodded wordlessly.

"In that case, then the next step was to move on and go about life as usual," Heather continued. "Learn from the mistake and carry on. Don't continue to dwell in the past because then the past never really leaves."

Hiccup unstuck his throat. "That's basically what I said in my letter," he mumbled. "They were treating me like I might fall apart if they so much as touched me, and I couldn't take it."

"Yes, I explained that to them," Heather agreed, inclining her head.

"And…what's the next step?" Hiccup asked.

Heather looked into his eyes, and her gaze did not waver. "For the transgressor, there are no further steps. Once you have admitted the mistake, asked for forgiveness, and made every effort to put it behind you, then there is nothing more to be done." There was a beat. Then she added, "At least not by the transgressor."

Hiccup blinked. Where was she going with this?

"However, there are steps that have to be taken by the victim as well," Heather told him, and now her smile didn't seem quite so warm. "The victim also must acknowledge that a mistake has been made, and in order to forgive those who have hurt him, he has to agree to move on too. Because if he continues to dwell on the transgression, then the pain will not go away but only become stronger with time. So it's vital for the victim to make an attempt to leave the past behind. It's only once both parties have done this that true forgiveness can start." She shook her head, and Hiccup could see the pity in her beautiful green eyes. "Hiccup, you haven't put it behind you yet. So how can you possibly expect to move on?"

"How can I put it behind me?" Hiccup snapped, suddenly angry. He was the one who'd been driven to suicide, and she was lecturing him about leaving the hurt behind?! "I've tried to, believe me! But everywhere I go I get these uncomfortable looks and too-cheerful words, like they're afraid I might try to cut my wrist again if they aren't perfectly sweet to me!"

"And did you ever tell anyone that this wasn't the right way to go about it?" Heather asked. "I mean before you left that note. Did you ever tell your father or Gobber or Astrid…" She noticed he winced at the sound of her name but didn't comment on it. "…or the others that their approach wasn't working or possibly even suggest another solution?"

Hiccup opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out, so he snapped his jaws shut again. He had no clue how to respond. No, he'd never done that. He'd always tolerated the awkwardness and tension in pained silence. Not once had he ever told anyone that their attempts at winning his trust were backfiring, and he'd had plenty of opportunities to do so.

So why hadn't he?

"Hiccup, come back to Berk," Heather said, and his attention snapped back to her. She held out her hand for him, but he made no move to take it. "Come back to your family and friends. Give them the chance to earn your trust again. Let them show you that they've learned from their mistakes and are willing to bridge the gap that's grown between them and you. Please."

Hiccup didn't know what to do, what to say. He looked away from Heather, gazing absently at the ground. He stood rooted to the spot, unable to come to a decision. He stood to gain everything if he did as she suggested, but he also risked losing it all over again. What should he do?

His muddled thoughts were interrupted by Toothless, who suddenly growled. Hiccup turned toward him. "Toothless? What is it, bud?"

But the moment the words were out of his mouth, he noticed it too: an odd, unpleasant odor in the air. He wrinkled his nose as he tried to place it. It smelled like fish that had been left in the sun too long, perhaps mingled with the stench of rotten eggs. By Heather's expression, he could tell that she'd caught a whiff of it too.

Caught it…and recognized it.

And suddenly Hiccup knew who it was. Knew because Fishlegs had told him about them just the day before.

Sure enough, they were suddenly surrounded by a horde of humongous, smelly Vikings, all roaring and shouting at the top of their lungs and advancing with weapons raised.

The Murderous Tribe.

A/N: Dun dun dunnnnnn…! It has begun!

Seriously, I think this is the longest chapter of the whole story. It's nine pages long, which by my standards is pretty darn good. Don't count on the three remaining chapters being so lengthy, though. XD

Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this! Things are about to come to a head, so stay tuned! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. :)