Chapter 6

Blair sat on her bed and stared at Serena impatiently waiting for her to finish her food. Serena stared back from the floor, taking small bites and smiled a little as she chewed. Blair had already eaten a whole bunch of the Chinese food Serena had ordered and she wanted to purge so badly she couldn't even think of anything else. This is what it had come too. Blair was praying for her best friend to leave so that she could be alone to purge all the unwanted calories from her body. This was not exactly how Blair wanted to spend the evening. She cracked her knuckles and looked up at the clock. They had only been eating for about 30 minutes. Blair ate fast in order to make herself sick so she could get rid of the food faster. Serena was eating at a normal pace. Blair had hoped that Serena had other things to do that evening. But as Serena promised Blair before the food had arrived, she was going to stay and make sure Blair kept her food down.

Blair let out a frustrated sigh.

Serena swallowed her last bite and took a sip of her water bottle.

Blair rolled her eyes.

Serena just grinned at her.

"You know Serena I do have class tomorrow…" Blair began…

"Not until 1:00." Serena stated. "I memorized your schedule."

Blair's face was filled with annoyance but she kept silent.

Serena stood up and brushed her hands together to wipe of some extra crumbs. She got a more serious look on her face as she looked at Blair. Serena was usually all about giggles and sunshine but she was legitimately worried about Blair.

"Blair… "Serena began nervously sitting on the bed next to her friend.

"I know you don't want to tell me what happened, and you don't have to tell me…But I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me. I love you B."

Blair's face softened and she gave Serena a hug. Serena hugged Blair back. They hugged for a long time because Blair wouldn't let go. It was rare that Serena saw Blair in this kind of state. Blair hugged her tighter like her life depended on it and Serena felt a ping of worry in her chest. She felt a wet drop on her shoulder, and she noticed that Blair was crying.

"Oh Blair, it's Ok. God please don't be upset. I'm always here." Serena comforted her friend.

Blair pulled away and wiped a few tears from her eyes. You had to be a special person to ever see Blair cry. Even Nate had only seen Blair cry one time and it wasn't very long before Blair kicked him out so she could be alone. Blair was not vulnerable with many people. Serena was like her sister. She had seen Blair cry quite a few times. She considered Serena her family. But there were still so many things Serena didn't know about Blair and a few emotions Serena had never seen.

Chuck was the only one who could bring every single emotion out of Blair and she hated it. She supposed that was why she felt the need to be with him despite all of his faults, because they were one. They were the same. He was a part of her. He could see right to her core. There was no use even trying to hide anything from him because he just knew. He knew her better than she knew herself. It terrified her and thrilled her at the same time. Being with him was the biggest adrenaline rush. Being in the same room with Chuck made her heart race. She felt a magnetic pull when they were together. She always did, even when they were young. She had fought her feelings about Chuck for so long because of fear. Now that she knew what it felt like to be on the other side of that fear and to let him in completely she felt weak and vulnerable but at the same time it was comforting to know he was there and that he loved and cared about her just as much as she cared about him.

"I don't know what I am doing." Blair whispered to Serena. "I feel like such a moron…I can't…." Blair stopped and took a little breath in. Her face turned to stone as she stared Serena straight in the eyes.

"Serena, can I please just go to the bathroom." Blair pleaded with tears in her eyes.

Serena knew what her friend meant. Blair had eaten so much and she wasn't feeling well and her emotions were everywhere. She couldn't break though; she wasn't going to let Blair hurt herself.

"B, no. You know I can't let you. This is why I'm here. Please just let me distracted you. Make you think of something else."

Blair's whole body began to shake.

"I can't think of anything else Serena!" She exclaimed. "Please… I feel so out of control please please please…."she cried harder.

Serena grabbed Blair and pulled her into another hug.

"I know B. I know you feel out of control but this is not the answer and you know that."

Blair bawled in Serena's arms for a minute till her breathing slowed. Serena let go of her and Blair laid down on her bed. She was extremely exhausted. She was so out of it the room started to spin. Blair felt like her bed was floating on water. Serena laid down next to Blair and put her arms around her.

"Shh… Go to sleep. It's going to be ok B. I'm here. Just go to sleep."

Blair didn't remember much else except for hearing Serena get up really quickly to turn off her bedroom light. The girls slept like rocks the rest of the night.

In the morning Blair woke up to a much brighter day than she was hoping for. She didn't have anything to drink the night before. But all the overeating and the crying made her exhausted. She had a food hangover and she was sickened by it. Blair shut her eyes tight and pulled her duvet cover all the way over her face. She could hear the sound of the bedroom door squeaking open and the sound of footsteps. Whoever it was Serena or Dorota, Blair was hoping they would just assume she was still asleep and not bother her. She was in no such luck. The footsteps quicken and got closer to her until she felt Serena's boney butt on top of her legs. Serena bounced up and down on top of Blair. Blair just groaned and slid to the other side of the bed.

"Good Morning!" Serena sang lifting the covers off of Blair's face. Blair quickly pulled them back over her head.

"No." was all she had to say to Serena.

"YES!" Serena exclaimed. "There is a huge breakfast for you down stairs and you have school in a couple of hours. I thought we could go together. I'm free for the day."

Blair knew that Serena was still monitoring her about her eating habits and she couldn't stand it. She loved Serena and she was grateful to have her there when she needed her. But right now she Serena was playing the role of an overprotective mother hen, and Blair was her chick. Blair always had to be in control. Taking orders all day from Serena would not keep her in control.

Blair stayed silent under the covers for a couple of minutes. She could feel Serena's big blue eyes staring at her face through the sheets.

"Blair I'm just trying to help." Serena started again. "I know you want to be the type of girl that is always on time for everything and always has everything put together. Regardless of what is going on, in your love life or otherwise, you are still Blair Waldorf and people are still watching what you do. Why give them anymore reason to whisper about what you have been up to?

Serena paused. Blair took a deep breath in but stayed silent.

"Get up and face the world before I go call you a therapist." Serena ordered Blair in a tone that was anything but pleasant.

Blair lifted her covers off of her face and shot up into a sitting position. "You wouldn't call me a therapist." She stared disgusted that Serena would even suggest it.

Serena looked at Blair with one of the most serious faces Blair had ever seen on her best friend.

Serena went on. "Don't give me a reason to call someone Blair. You have been acting out in unhealthy ways and I know you want to stay here and finish your school work and live your life but, you really have to show the people around you that you are serious about doing that. I will call someone if I feel like you need more help than what I can give you."

Blair stared at Serena's sincere face and thought to herself in silence for a minute. Was her behavior really getting so awful that people were starting to talk? How long could she keep pretending like nothing was wrong? Serena could see right through her. Chuck could see even more than Serena could and Blair's mother wasn't going to be out of town forever.

"Ok." Blair said as she got out of bed, grabbed her robe, and headed to the bathroom.

Serena followed her.

"Wait what are you doing?" Blair asked her.

"I need to come in with you."

"I'm going to shower Serena."

"OK that's fine but other things can also happen in the bathroom when the water is running."

Blair bit her lip and let out a huge sigh as she let her friend follow her into the bathroom. She could already tell this was going to be a long day.

Serena sat on a chair in the bathroom, reading a fashion magazine while she waited for Blair to style her hair.

"So after your class are we still planning on going to pick up our dresses for the Anderson Gala tonight?"

Blair's chest tightened at Serena's question and she almost dropped her curling iron.

"Woah,Blair. Be careful. Remember that'll burn you."

Blair had almost forgotten about the Anderson Gala until Serena had mentioned it. It was at the gala that she was supposed to meet up with Jack. But she didn't know how she was going to meet Jack anywhere with Serena attached to her hip and her ex-boyfriend practically stalking her.

"So are we?" Serena asked again.

"Hmm?" Blair questioned her.

"Are we still going together to get our dresses for the gala?"

"What? Yes, of course." Blair spat out quickly.

"Ok…you feel better from last night?"

"Yes." Blair told her calmly. "I'm going to try to show the world I'm fine. I am Blair Waldorf after all. I can't just be falling apart in front of all of New York. I'm not going to let that happen."

And Blair was very serious. She had to be strong. She had to show everyone she wasn't afraid. Especially Jack. She wasn't going to let that bastard take any more from her than he already had.

Chuck paced around the Anderson Gala in his tuxedo and shiny black shoes. He pretended to be interested in the art that that had on display. Really he was just anxious and agitated. He would rather be at home reading his paper and drinking his scotch. Hell he would rather be at a puppet show then at this Gala where he knew that sooner or later his Uncle Jack would walk through those doors. Chuck was also almost one hundred percent sure the love of his life would also be attending tonight and it was too painful to look at her with all they were going through. Chuck briefly thought about just leaving the gala, but there were people coming tonight that he had promised to greet. The last thing he wanted was people wondering why he was absent from one of the most popular events of the year.

"Charles, there you are!" Chuck heard a familiar voice behind him. Lily looked lovely as always. Her silver dress glistened bright light of the room. She wore her hair up in a side bun with a diamond flower and she was wearing enough jewelry to open up a small store.

Chuck Smiled and gave her a hug. "You look stunning as always, Lily."

"Thank you!" Lily replied knowing all too well how fabulous she looked. "Actually I was wondering if you have run into Serena yet tonight. I need to have a conversation with her, but she has been avoiding me all day. She sent me a message about spending time with Blair. I'm glad she and Blair are catching up but how many days does she need to do that? I was just hoping you had spoken to either one of them?

Chucks chest tightened. Anytime someone spoke about Blair it made him nervous. And frankly the fact that Serena was glued to Blair's side made him nervous because Serena wouldn't spend that much time with her unless she was worried. He decided he would try to find Nate and see if Serena had mentioned anything to him about why she was staying with Blair.

"No I'm sorry Lily. I have been pretty busy with hotel business. I did see both of them a few days ago when we were staying at the Archibald country house. Everything seemed fine with Serena. You are a great mother. I wouldn't worry about her though." Chuck said trying to act as though he was sweating under his tux.

Just as he finished talking the doors to the gala opened and there stood Blair and Serena. Blair looked breathtaking as Chuck knew she would. She wore a long sleek royal blue dress that clung to her figure and her hair half up half down with curls. Serena wore a burgundy party dress, puffy skirt, with tulle and high black heels, typical Serena attire.

Chuck stopped for a moment to look at Blair. She had a solemn expression on her face. She wasn't really looking at anyone in particular. Her eyes wandered the whole gala. She actually looked quite nervous, but Chuck wasn't sure why. If it was because he was there, she wouldn't have to worry. Chuck had decided to give her some space. Plus the gala was big enough that they may not even have to run into each other at all. He let out a little sigh of relief. At least she was in one piece. The only thing he was slightly worried about was the fact that her collar bone seemed more prominent. In the past that had meant that she was struggling with an eating disorder. He assumed with all that was going on with her that her bulimia had reemerged. She was definitely feeling out of control of her life and that was a big trigger for Blair. But he could also tell that Serena was on it. Chuck Stared at Blair harder. She was looking more thin than usual. He decided this must be why Serena was constantly with her all of the sudden.

"Good going S." Chuck thought to himself. If he couldn't be there for her he was certainly glad that Blair had other people in her life that could be there for her.

"Oh good they are here!" Lily exclaimed loudly. "Excuse me Charles." She said as she walked toward her daughter and her friend.

While Lily was making her way over to the girls Chuck decided to make his way to the men's room. He would go back and forth between there and the coat check room for the rest of the night. He hoped he wouldn't bother Blair. He wanted her to forget her problems at least for tonight.

Serena's glowing smile turned into a frown when she saw her mother was rapidly approaching.

"Mom…Hi." Serena greeted Lily in the most pleasant voice that she could muster.

"Well Serena darling, it's nice to see you alive and well." Lily exclaimed sarcastically. "But just so you know for the future one text message in two days is not enough contact to have with your mother especially when no one seems to know what you are doing day after day."

Serena rolled her eyes but stayed silent.

Lily continued to speak to Serena in a sarcastic tone. "I mean we know you aren't attending classes at brown, or any college for that matter."

"Oh, good god. Please do not start this here mother." Serena begged.

"I'm not starting anything I'm simply pointing out that you are just floating through life. You have no goals and you are currently not going anywhere."

Serena crossed her arms and scowled at her mother.

"Hi there Lily." Blair interrupted.

Lily turned to her daughter's friend. "Blair, sweetheart. It's nice to see you." She said to her as she gave Blair a one armed hug.

"It's nice to see you too!" Blair told her. "Um I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation but I'm going to go look at the art now."

Serena grabbed Blair's arm. She wasn't about to let her friend go that easily, not after all this work.

"Serena I'll be fine" Blair whispered to Serena with urgency

Serena stared unbelieving into Blair's eyes. "If you need to go to the bathroom or leave you come to me right away. Do you understand?" Serena whispered in her mother hen voice.

Blair nodded with the most sincere look on her face she could pull off. Serena slowly let go of Blair's arm and Blair quickly walked away and planted herself in front of a piece of art. She looked back a minute later to see Serena still bickering with her mother beside the front entrance. This could be her chance to sneak off to the Blue Room to meet with Jack. But Blair was now unsure of whether she should meet him or not. What could Jack possibly have planned that would cost Chuck his hotel, again?

Blair continued to stare at the same piece of art which was a sculpture of a bird with its wings spread. She tried to go through the events of the night she spent with Jack in her mind, but everything kept coming up in bits and pieces. Why didn't she remember more? She remembered setting the contract down on the pool table. She remembered Jack signing it. She remembered taking off her coat so that he could look at her dress. Blair's muscles started to tense and she remembered the next part, the part where he started to put his hands on her. What else? Blair searched her mind for more. Until tonight she had just been assuming that the night was so awful that her subconscious blocked most of it out. She remembered waking up Chuck's bed and noticing the bruises that were on her on her wrists. She remembered bits and pieces of the night like feeling her head hit the head board when Jack threw her onto the bed. The hair on Blair's arms stood on end and she cringed at the memories of his hand feeling her up and down and her feeling completely helpless. Why didn't I fight him off? She thought to herself. Why didn't I even try to fight him off?

Blair suddenly felt sick with anger. She was mostly angry with herself. Not only for what she let him do but also for not being able to remember anything important that could help Chuck get rid of Jack for good. Blair noticed a small tear falling down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away and straighten out her face. She looked back again at the front entrance and Serena and Lily had disappeared.

This was the opportunity. If Blair was going to have a conversation with Jack she would have to have it now. She started making her way through the crowd toward the Blue Room. She had only made it part way before she felt a tap on her shoulder. She quickly turned around to see who it was.

She sighed with relief when she saw that it was not Jack Bass. It was just Nate.

"Wow! You are kinda jumpy tonight. You ok?" He asked her.

"I'm fine." Blair insisted without making eye contact. She was too busy scanning the room for any other people she may know Serena, Chuck, Jack…

"Well come on Serena is over by the drawings. She sent me to come and get you." Nate said taking Blair's hand and trying to pull her to the opposite side of the hall.

"Nate, wait!" Blair stopped him before she had thought of an excuse.

Nate just stared at her waiting for her to tell him why they were waiting.

Blair looked at the floor and then looked up into his face. "I just haven't finished looking at the sculptures yet. I want to finish looking."

"OK fine." Nate replied. "I'll wait for you to finish and then we can go at meet Serena."

"Why don't you just go back to her now?" Blair asked him in an annoyed tone.

"Look Blair. All I know is that I have one job and that is to make sure you and Serena stay together. She can't see you so that is a problem for her and I don't want to hear her nagging about finding you all night. So I'm going to stay with you until we meet up with Serena."

"I don't need a babysitter!" Blair spat out.

"We'll maybe not but Serena thinks you are in some kind of trouble."

"What do you mean?" Blair asked him, her face turning white. "What did she tell you?"

Nate ruffled his hair and sighed. "She didn't tell me any specifics Blair. I didn't ask her either. All I know is that she is worried about you. And when she is worried it really makes me worry. You know Serena. She's not normally someone who worries."

Blair bit her lip. She was grateful to have friends who cared about her so much no matter how annoying they were about it. But she was in the middle of something that Serena and Nate could not really understand. She knew if she was going to get rid of Nate she'd have to think fast and she saw her chance. He was wearing a waiter's uniform and carrying a tray full of champagne. He was also quickly headed in their direction.

When the waiter got to the woman standing in front of Nate, Blair reached out her foot and tripped him. The waiter tripped into the woman standing in front of Nate causing both the woman and Nate to fall to the floor. And that is when Blair made a break for it. She smiled a little as she was running away from the crowd of people huddled around to see who the waiter had knocked over. She admitted it was not her classiest plan but she didn't really have time to think about the mess she has just caused especially if there was somehow a bigger more serious mess that was going to put Chuck at risk.

By the time Blair reached the room labeled "Blue" She was the only one in the hallway. All of the other guests had migrated over to the spot where Blair had tripped the waiter. Blair stood there staring at the door for a good five minutes before getting the courage to turn the knob and go into the room. Her hand shook while on the knob and when she finally got inside she closed the door softly behind her.

There were only a few dim lights on in the center of the spacious room. All if the corners were dark. Blair took a deep breath wondering which dark corner Jack could be lurking in. She slowly made her way to the center of the room and stood under the dimly lit lights.

Blair swallowed. Her throat was very dry. She suddenly felt a shot of panic rush through her as she saw Jack's dark figure walking towards her from the far left corner.

"I see you got my message." Jack said smiling as he approached her.

It took a minute for Blair to compose herself to speak to him. She paused for a moment as she stood there gaping at his sinister grin and then she finally let out some words.

"What do you want from me Jack?" She forced the worlds out of her mouth as eloquently as she could. She did not want to let him smell her fear.

"It's not what I want sweetheart. It's what you know you want." Jack took another step towards her and placed his hand on her cheek.

Blair quickly slapped his hand off and took two steps back from him.

"What's the matter pet? Not in the mood to play?" he asked her with that sickening grin still plastered on his face.

"I'm not here to play games." Blair stated. "I'm here because I want to protect Chuck from whatever awful thing you have planned for him. So what do you want from me?"

Jack laughed loudly. "That's funny. You protect him? He is the one who should have protected you!"

Blair stood there like a statue. She kept her face composed even though she could feel her legs shaking slightly.

"Speaking of protection, did we use any that night? I just don't remember if we did. We were having too much fun."

Blair's heart began pounding in her chest as he approached her again. This time she didn't have time to think to move and he grabbed both of her arms and pulled her body toward him.

He laughed again as he put his mouth to her ear and whispered. "But something tells me you don't remember either. Am I right?"

Blair pulled away from him and with fire in her eyes she spit in his face.

"What did you do to me? Drug me?" Blair demanded to know.

"And what if I did?" Jack asked her. "Did you really want to remember everything I did to you that night?"

Blair's breathing became heavy. She suddenly felt like she was struggling for breath as images flooded back to her from that night.

Blair took a drink before anything had happened. They had toasted to her contract. She remembered him putting her hands on his penis and then she became dizzy and fell to the floor. He picked her up and brought her into Chuck bedroom. Blair remembers trying to say something but not being able to speak or move. He threw her down on to the bed with a lot of force and the back of her head hit the headboard of the bed. Then he grabbed her arms and started wrapping the rope around her wrists. He tied her wrists up so tight that she stared to cry. It hurt so much but she still couldn't say anything. Then he ripped off her dress and removed her underwear. He undid his pants and started pounding her. She could do nothing about it. She couldn't say a word. And he was not wearing a condom.

Blair came back in the present for and stared her rapist in the face.

"What…do…you…want?" Blair asked him one more time. This time she was planning to bolt if he didn't give her a straight answer.

"I just wanted to see if you are late?"

"Late..?" Blair questioned him.

" Yes Late, pet. Something tells me Mother Nature's curse is just a few days late am I right?" Jack smirked.

Blair had to step back and think. Was she late? She had barely been paying attention to the calendar. She became panicked. The last time she remembered having her period was a couple weeks before her night with Jack. Blair's whole body went ice cold.

"I just came here to warn you that we didn't use protection princess. So you may want to get checked for STD's…and possibly more than just that."

Blair balled up her fists and swallowed hard. Was it possible? Could she be? No, this could not be happening. Now she really could not breathe. The room began to spin and this time she couldn't stop her whole body from shaking.

"So will I get to tell my nephew that he's going have a little cousin?" Jack questioned her laughing.

"Or should you be the one to break the news to your precious Chuck?"