Chapter six: Homework

Okay, so, different approach on Cartman. He's going to be really smart, but because old Cartman just didn't care, they don't know. He's gonna help Kyle and Kenny with their homework. Also, I held back on the shipping. Sorry, but it is now a ship story.

Things were awkward for a little while after that. Kenny returned with the water shortly after, handing him the glass and pulled out his homework. Kyle did the same. Cartman curiously looked over at their homework and smiled. It looked really easy.

"What answer did you get for question six Kyle?"

"What, the square root of 300? I haven't gotten to it yet. I think it's 15."

"17.320508075688."

Kenny and Kyle looked over. Cartman was looking at the ceiling.

"What?" Kyle asked confused.

"The answer. It's 17.320508075688."

Curious, Kyle took his calculator and punched in the equation. Surprisingly, Cartman was right, number by number. Did the injury alter his intellect? Was that possible? Or was Cartman always this smart?

"Sorry for asking but, how do you know that?"

"It was really easy. I know a lot of square roots from memory. I can square root 1-5000 without thinking."

"Why?"

"On father's day and days surrounding it I would just look at this stuff. It was boring but better than walking down the streets seeing happy families, seeing complete and absolutely perfect families spending quality time with each other. Kenny, I know you haven't had the best family life, but at least you always HAD a complete family. So I thought that it was best to use that depressing moment of my life to do SOMETHING. I knew the full periodic table by four, I could multiply up to 27 by six, and I have been able to square root 5000 by eight."

"Okay, wise guy." Kenny challenged slyly. "What is it?"

"Easy. 70.710678118654."

"What do you say, Kyle?"

"He's right."

"I told ya."

"I'm still not convinced." Kyle was thinking. "You said you know the entire periodic table right? What is the 65th element?"

"Terbium. Now, would you like some help on your homework?"

"Wait, you're serious? Cartman is a genius?" Stan was just told about the night before, after he had left. He did not believe what he was hearing.

"We didn't believe it either Stan." Kenny sighed. He was again toying with his hair. He did that when he was frustrated.

"Why wouldn't Cartman tell us about this? We're his best friends!"

"How would you bring that up, Stan?" Kyle looked at his taller friend with a sarcastic smirk. "'Oh hey guys, by the way I'm a genius because of my crippling loneliness since I was born!'"

"Okay, good point. Still doesn't explain why he never told us he wasn't happy."

"As much as I hate to admit it," Kenny stated, sounding almost ashamed. "I don't really want Cartman to return to normal."

"What?!" Kyle had to restrain super hard so as to not smack him right then right there. "Why would you say something like that?"

Stan also looked at Kenny in disgust. That was just mean.

"He's so much nicer, and honest, and sweet, and sensitive, and..." Kenny blushed and quickly covered his face. Kyle knew what that meant: Kenny was crushing on Cartman. He was surprised to find himself feeling jealous, his heart skipped a beat when he heard Kenny's description of their larger friend. God damn it, Kyle was crushing on him too. This is a problem. Stan looked at his two friends. Noticing the expressions on both of their faces, they were either crushing on Cartman or each other. Stan felt weird. He expected Kenny to have feelings towards their friend, not Kyle. If his first suspicions were correct, and they both were crushing on Cartman, he felt bad for Kenny. Cartman had told him a few weeks ago he thought Kyle was cute. Stan felt awkward, knowing he was the only straight guy in their gang. Kenny and Kyle made eye contact, noticing each other's blush.

"No way! You like him too!?" They echoed each other, stating the obvious at the same time. "You can't have him he's mine!"

Stan sighed and pushed his way in between the two before they started a fist fight in the hallway. "Technically, he isn't either of yours.

"Shut up Stan!" They yelled at him at the same time, pushing him out of the way. Kenny took the first swing, clipping Kyle right in the jaw.

"Guys, stop!" Stan stood up, trying to get to his friends. A crowd had swarmed already. In the time it took him to get up front, Kenny had taken about two or three blows to the face, where Kyle only had the one. Kenny kept trying to hit him, but the Jew's size and agility came as an advantage. With usually picking fights with taller and slower boys, Kenny usually aimed a tad too high, or took too long to hit. Kyle was tiny and agile, so he had no problems dodging his punches. Stan ran in the middle of the crowd and grabbed Kyle by the waist, signaling Butters to do the same with Kenny. They were held at a distance from each other before being let go, they had calmed down at that point.

"What the HELL, you guys? Are you trying to get in trouble?"

Kenny and Kyle just huffed. Their injuries were beginning to be a little more prominent.

"Then tell Kenny Cartman's mine!" Kyle demanded firmly.

"No way, you hussy! Cartman's mine!"

"Hussy? I'm not a girl!"

"Well-"

"Stop it!" Stan screamed, causing people to look over. His friends immediately stopped talking and stared at the Raven haired teen in complete and total shock. He quickly regained his composure.

"Thank you. Now, what has gotten into the both of you?!"

"I don't really know..." Kenny replied, deep in thought. "I guess it's because he's so much more likeable now. He's like a sweet, huggable, cute, dreamy..." He was lost in thought. Kyle nudged him, which snapped him back to reality. "What was I talking about? Oh- Teddy bear! That's what he is, a teddy bear!" He chuckled nervously and cleared his throat, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"I agree. There's just something about him that makes my heart flutter." Kyle also looked really flustered. You could almost light a room with how bright their cheeks got. "Either way, I'm gonna bring his homework to him after school. He said he'd help me."

"I swear to god Kyle, if you try something without a fair fight I will kick your ass." Kenny teased, playfully sticking out his tongue to show he was kidding.

"Kenny, if we do anything, I'll tell you in full detail." He evilly grinned. Kenny caught on and laughed.

"I'm sure you will. But maybe not at school, you'll get in trouble." Stan just watched the two of them in confusion, and then figured he didn't want to know.

"Okay you two, we need to get to class."