Chapter eight: Overreaction

"YOU KISSED HIM?!" Kenny screamed. From the look on his face, he was not happy. "WHAT THE HELL KYLE, I WAS KIDDING!"

"Kenny, I'm sorry. I didn't intend on kissing him, it just sort of happened. I was honestly gonna be fair about this, but I couldn't concentrate on homework with him there." He looked embarrassed. He was looking at the ground in shame, holding his arm. Blinking back tears in his emerald eyes, he sighed and walked away. Stan came up behind Kenny soon afterwards.

"I heard you yelling from down the hall, what happened?"

"KYLE KISSED CARTMAN LAST NIGHT! TWICE!" the short blonde fumed. His anger made Stan back up a little bit.

"Kenny, calm down..." He tried to soothe the boy. No matter how small he is, Kenny is terrifying when he's pissed. "Maybe you're overreacting."

"How am I overreacting?! Kyle promised we could fight over Cartman fairly! He went behind my back and FUCKING KISSED HIM!"

"Look, maybe we can go talk to him. I'm sure Kyle will tell us why he did what he did."

"I don't need a conversation, I need action! Kyle wants a battle; well I'll give him a war!"

After school, Kenny decided to take the liberty of going to Cartman's house to bring him his homework. He called his (Soon to be boy)friend in advanced to let him know he was on his way over. When Cartman opened the door, Kenny decided to strike.

"Hey Kenny, what's up-"

Kenny planted a kiss on the boy's lips. He wasn't sure how hard Kyle had kissed him before, so he went with really firm. With Cartman's head in his hands, Kenny kissed him with all his might. Cartman wasn't entirely sure what to do, so he went with it. He pulled his friend in the house and closed the door. Kenny held him against the door, keeping his mouth firmly pressed against Cartman's. They broke apart because Cartman was struggling for breath.

"So, how was that?" Kenny smirked.

"Um... I don't really know." Cartman replied honestly, coughing. He quickly took a puff of his inhaler. "I mean Kyle was a lot gentler about it yesterday and- wait a minute. Is that what this is about?"

Kenny stared at the boy in shock. Did Kyle tell him about them fighting over him? Or was Cartman even smarter than they had already discovered. He sighed and told him the truth.

"Y-yeah. Kyle and I both have major crushes on you; that's why he kissed you yesterday. When I found out, I didn't like it. I was still determined to win you over. So I volunteered to deliver your homework, just so I could kiss you better than Kyle did, and win you." He looked up and saw that the recent usually level headed and kind Cartman was looking angry. He sighed.

"I know I screwed up, you don't need to tell me to leave." He picked up Cartman's stuff off of the ground and placed it on the coffee table, then left. Cartman quietly walked to his couch and started on his homework.

"Kyle?" Kenny quietly spoke to his Jewish friend at the bus stop that morning.

"Yeah?" the red head looked over at the poor blonde from around Stan.

"You win. Cartman's yours."

"Why? What happened when you dropped off his homework last night?"

"I kissed him."

"WHAT!?"

Stan grabbed Kyle before he could lunge on Kenny. The blonde stepped back in alarm.

"Kyle, I'm sorry. But on the bright side, he didn't really like it."

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER YOU ASSHOLE!"

"GET ON THE DAMN BUS!"

Their heads snapped over to see the very ugly and obese Ms. Crabtree the bus driver parked there staring at them.

"Alright you damn bitch..." Kyle muttered as he boarded the school bus.

"WHUT DID YOU SAY!"

"I said... Kanye West is a gay fish?"

"Oh. Well, yes I suppose he is."

Kyle rolled his eyes at the woman's stupidity. He walked to the back of the bus and sat beside Stan. Kenny sat with Butters.

"Golly Kenny, Kyle sure didn't seem happy with you. What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay then. So how's Eric doin' do you know?"

"Butters, shut up please."

"Oh hamburgers! I'm sorry... I'll shut up." Kenny hadn't noticed the faint blush on the shy blonde's face.

Then Kenny had an idea. If Cartman didn't like him, that was fine by him.

"Actually, Butters, what's your opinion on dating other guys?"

"W-what do you mean?" Butters' blush deepened.

"Like... if a guy were to ask you out on a date... what would you say?"

"Are you asking me out?" Butters' blush was about as red as the poofball on Stan's hat.

"I guess I am."

"Well, then sure I'd love to!"

Kyle watched the whole scene take place. Kenny and Butters? Who would have thought? He couldn't help feeling envy though. If it was that easy, then why hadn't he thought of it? When they arrived at the school he received a text from Cartman.

Cartman: Kyle, you are never gonna guess what happened last night!

Kyle: Kenny kissed you.

Cartman: No, Kenny- wait... How did you know?

Kyle: Because he told me.

Cartman: Oh. By the way, my doctor called last night after he left. He said I can come to school on Monday.

Kyle: Really? That's awesome! By the way, Kenny asked out Butters.

Cartman: Oh. Good for him. Are you coming over to do homework?

Kyle: Yep. I'll be there for 3.

Cartman: k.

Kyle put his phone in his pocket and ran into the school.