Chapter fifteen: Still not titled
Cartman woke up the next morning to the feeling of someone in bed with him. He turned his head to find that Kyle was there. Startled, he fell out of the bed with a thud, which jolted Kyle awake.
"Holy crap! Cartman, are you okay?"
"Ugh, yeah I'm fine." Cartman responded awkwardly, rubbing his butt as to try and suppress the pain. "Why were we sharing a bed? Wait- We didn't!"
"Nononononononono! Nothing like that! You were just asleep in my bed, so I slept in the bed with you! We didn't do anything else, I swear!"
"Okay, good." Cartman laughed, standing up. "What time is it?"
Kyle turned his head to check his alarm clock.
"5:30. Best get dressed, mom is gonna wake us up soon anyways."
"Okay."
Cartman grabbed some clothes and headed for the bathroom. Downstairs, the boys ate their breakfast. Ike was already awake watching pre recorded Terrence and Phillip when they got there.
"Ike? What are you doing up so early?"
The Canadian boy turned to his adoptive brother with pure exhaustion. His golden brown eyes were dull and glassy. Groggily, he stood up and walked to the kitchen with his brother and his boyfriend.
"I couldn't sleep. Filmore kept sending out horrible things about me and the frustration keeps me awake."
"Talk to your teacher about him."
"I try! Mrs. S doesn't listen! She thinks that dick is a model student! I've even showed her the actual messages and e-mails; she thinks it's all faked by ME!"
"Ike, listen to this advice. Usually fighting fire with fire is the worst possible idea, so if you think of stooping to his level, don't. What you do is take these e-mails straight to the police! Cyber bullying is illegal and he can wind up in jail, do you understand?" Cartman advised. Ike's beady eyes lit up and he hugged the large teenager.
"Oh, thank you Cartman! I knew the moment Kyle said you were dating that you were a keeper! If you guys get married, I'll be proud to be your brother-in-law!"
Kyle couldn't help but smile. His brother and father really liked Eric, if only his mother would too. He sighed; it'll take a lot of work to manage that one.
"KYLE? IKE? ERIC? ARE YOU DOWNSTAIRS ALREADY?
"Yeah mom, we woke up about 20 minutes ago."
Mrs. Broflovski walked downstairs to find all three boys at the table.
"Good. You boys all shower already."
"Yes we did, mom."
That's good to hear! I'm glad you boys are taking your own initiative to-"
She was cut off by some coughing. Scowling, Sheila directed her attention to Cartman.
"My *cough* apologies, Mrs. Broflovski. *Cough cough* Excuse me a mo- *Cough* moment."
He pulled out his inhaler and walked out of the room.
"What was that look you gave him for, mom?" Kyle harshly whispered to his mother.
"What do you expect me to do when I'm cut off, that was rude!"
"He has fucking asthma, he can't help it!"
"Well-"
"Hey sweetheart! Everything okay?"
Kyle's face brightened up when Cartman walked back in the room. The boy was placing his inhaler back in his pocket.
"Yes. My apologies for cutting you off, Mrs. Broflovski, I couldn't help it."
For the rest of the time before heading to the bus stop, Kyle, Cartman, and Ike sat down and watched television. Or at least, Ike did, Kyle and Cartman were staring at the tv because you NEVER mess with a ten year old's television. Finally, it was time to go.
"By Kyle, bye Cartman!" Ike waved before boarding the elementary school bus. Kyle and Eric were standing there waiting for the high school one to arrive.
"Hey guys!" Stan and Kenny greeted at the same time. They had walked to the bus stop together.
"Hey Fa- Cartman. How are you feeling?" Stan asked nicely. He knew it's been a while since Cartman got hurt, but calling him fat was second nature, so he almost slipped up.
"Uh, fine. I had an asthma attack this morning, but other than that things were perfectly fine."
"Oh, yeah. They suck ass don't they? When they happen it's just best to get your inhaler ready as quickly as possible."
"Yeah. Also I helped Ike out with his bully problem"
"Is Filmore still at it?" Kenny asked. Cartman and Kyle nodded.
"Yeah, so Cartman told him to go to the police, but not do what Filmore is doing."
"It's just best to not make things worse. If Ike goes to the police they'll handle it."
"GET ON THE DAMN BUS!"
The boys climbed on the bus.
"Okay, Jesus Christ you fucking bitch, keep your shirt on..."
"WHUT DID YOU SAY!?"
"Um... I said 'Jesus Christ I got a bad itch...' Fuck it, I said Okay you stupid bitch!"
"Kenny, are you nuts? Do you want to-?"
"Oh, okay then."
"What?"
"Are you serious? That's all it took?"
"SIT THE FUCK DOWN!"
"JESUS!"
Kenny ran to his spot next to Butters. Cartman ran to an empty seat across from Kyle and Stan. Clyde changed seats and sat with him. Token moved closer.
"I heard from Craig that you guys got in a fight yesterday. Is it true?"
"Technically, it was Craig's fight, but we got roped into it by rescuing Tweek." Kyle answered.
"Speak for yourself, dude." Stan chipped in. "You totally beat the shit out of that twelfth grader. You broke his nose."
"I did? I didn't mean to hurt him so badly! He made me angry; you don't fuck with a guy's boyfriend! Though to be fair I sprained my wrist beating his face in."
"I noticed." Kenny laughed. "When you're pissed, you're like a pint-sized Jewish wrecking ball. It's really kinda scary."
"You broke a guy's nose for me?" Cartman stared at his boyfriend in confusion. "Heh, now I know what I'm gonna call you."
"What do you mean, babe?"
"All couples have cute pet names. You call me sweetie, babe, cupcake, sweetheart, and all I ever call you is Kahl. Now I know what your nickname will be."
"What?"
"My little guardian. I think it's cute, what do you guys think?"
"I think it's nice." Stan responded.
"Yeah, it fits really well." Token agreed.
"It's really cute." Clyde also agreed.
"Kahl?" Cartman asked eagerly, awaiting a response.
"I love it." Kyle answered, a smile forming on his mouth. "Just as much as I love you."
"Awwwwww." Everyone on the bus cooed at once, even Ms. Crabtree.
Cartman leaned across the aisle and kissed Kyle on the lips. Just a peck, but that was more than enough.