Warnings: Minor spoilers for "Yankee White.", "See No Evil", "Balitmore", "Kill Ari", "Silver War", and "Judgement Day".
A/N: Thank you everyone for your support! I'm glad that I am not the only one who has these views on Tiva. I plan to work into this story that Tony has his eyes opened to how wrong a relationship it would have been for him. I think there were times he was thinking it, for example in "Damned If You Do" it was Gibbs that gave him the silent communication to follow Ziva outside where she promptly shoved him in the friend zone. If he was in love with her, he wouldn't have needed Gibbs to gesture that he should follow her. Again, IMO of course.
Next up, Ducky checks our boy out and is disturbed by what happened. There's also going to be a new case involved which sets up the introduction of the OC in the chapter. BTW this case takes place of the drug one that Tony flashed back to in "Truth or Consequences" Let me tell you how excited I am to get to that chapter of Saleem and Tony. Until then, enjoy!
In the morning Tony found himself in a considerable amount of pain. The hairline fracture in his arm that he had sustained in his fight with Michael Rivkin hurt. His chest hurt from where Ziva had shoved her gun into him. And then there was his headache courtesy of his drinking too many beers and bourbons the night before.
Pain that was clear on his face when Gibbs dragged him into autopsy to see their resident doctor.
"Gibbs, when you said that you returned from Israel with Anthony safe from Eli David's talons, I had assumed he was in one piece," Donald Mallard drawled, studying the senior field agent.
"Yeah, well, so did I," Gibbs said with a slight smirk, "that is until he polished off a bottle of bourbon in my basement last night."
Tony winced, from the comment or from the pain he was in, he wasn't really sure at this point. He just wanted to sleep. Curl up into a tight little ball and forget the trip to Israel, forget why he had been forced to go there in the first place. Of course, Gibbs and Ducky had other plans.
Ducky gestured for him to climb up onto the autopsy table, even though it caused a great deal of pain to do so. "I apologize, Anthony," the elderly medical examiner when he saw the pained expression that passed over the senior field agent's face. "Mister Palmer, bring the x-ray machine."
Jimmy Palmer, one pitiful look at Tony, hurried off to complete the doctor's wishes. Tony gritted his teeth and tried to breath through the throbbing in his shoulder.
"Anthony, if you would, please remove your shirt," Ducky said, pausing to give Tony some time to make a wise crack, however he was disheartened when the young man didn't oblige. Something had to be troubling him.
Gibbs concern only grew with the lack of a smart ass response or a movie reference. He had been expecting Tony to stop by his basement the night before, had even expected some of the venting that the young man had done last night, however he was not prepared for Tony's silence.
Tony gingerly undid the buttons on his shirt and slid it off with the help of Ducky, vaguely aware of the concerned looks that his two friends gave him. He knew when he was silent it worried everyone around him, but the only thing that he could focus on now was getting his shirt off without screaming in pain. And if he was completely honest with himself he really was not in the mood to joke around.
Ducky pressed his fingers into Tony's shoulder and frowned when a hiss emanated from Tony's lips. "Anthony, I read your medical report from the hospital. You fractured your radius and had a few bruises, but now I see that your chest is swollen considerably, your shoulder is dislocated and you have developed even more bruising on your chest and back."
"Is that all, Ducky?" Tony cracked, trying to make a pitiful attempt at humor to lighten the mood.
"Anthony, you've been assaulted!" Ducky exclaimed, not amused in the slightest. "Did this happen to you over in Israel? Because if it did, you should report it to Director Vance immediately."
Burying his face in his hands, Tony just wanted to drown the world out. "Can you just patch me up so we can forget about it?"
Ducky's eyes flickered towards Gibbs, who gave the silent approval. With a heavy sigh, and another utterance at how he thought Tony should report this to the director, the medical examiner wrapped his injured shoulder up, did some x-rays on the senior field agent's chest and then sent him on his way.
Tony was more than eager to get out of autopsy. Scurrying upstairs to his desk, Tony bit back the pain as he tossed the medication that Ducky had given him into the trash. He didn't need to give Gibbs anymore reason to bench him by taking the prescription pain killers. He was a big boy, he could deal with the pain. The pain reminded him of his failure and what he had to fix. Pain killers would only make him incoherent and he couldn't be incoherent. Finding a new agent for their team was no easy task. Gibbs didn't just take anyone. It had to be earned, it had to be well deserved.
He thought back to all the agents that had been assigned to the once two-man team of Gibbs and DiNozzo. Many of them hadn't lasted a week. Vivian Blackadder had lasted three. From that point forward, Director Morrow had decided that perhaps it was best to trust the former marine's judgment, since he had trusted him when it came to Tony. He smiled, softly to himself thinking about how Kate Todd had been hired in the same way as he had. Impressing Gibbs just when they found reasons that they had to walk away from the job. His had been a dirty partner that he couldn't betray, Kate had resigned because of her relationship with a Marine who served on Air Force One.
How did you get into NCIS?
I smiled.
Partial truth. Tony had thought that maybe, sometime later down the road he could tell Kate the real story, that just like her he'd worked a case with Gibbs. And just like her at the end of said case he needed a new job. He did smile at the woman working at the Human Resource desk. Perhaps he did get the job because he'd smiled.
Even Timothy McGee had been chosen by Gibbs. Working all those cases with the team during Kate's first year, the young, green probie had caught the attention of the former marine. He'd caught the attention of Tony as well but he would never admit that.
With a heavy sigh, Tony went about his work of fixing the mess. After Kate had died this was how he had pictured things going. Recruits would be presented to them and Gibbs would make a decision on if they were worthy enough to fill her empty desk. But that wasn't the way things went. Jenny Shepard had forced Ziva upon them. Despite the unspoken rule that no one was forced onto Jethro Gibbs team, Ziva had been allowed to stay.
Tony hadn't trusted her. Not at first. After all it was her half-brother that had murdered Kate. Over time they had developed trust, a fleeting friendship. Or so he thought.
"You're in early," McGee announced as he came into the bullpen. "Thought Vance was going to give you some time off?"
"He did. I have other things to do," Tony answered honestly.
McGee made his way around the desk and glanced at Tony's computer screen. He was surprised when the senior field agent did not try to hide what he was doing. "By other things you mean looking at old joint operation cases?"
Tony tapped the pen in his hand against the desk. "Call it a hunch."
"A hunch? We don't have an active case right now," McGee pointed out. "Vance was under the impression you were going to take those days."
"Not a hunch about a case," Tony said printing out a file. "A hunch about filing the empty desk."
Confusion settled across McGee's face. Even after all these years working with Tony, the older man always seemed to find ways to surprise him. "Ok," he said taking the bait, "How does a joint operation cases with NCIS have with finding a new agent for our team?"
Grinning, Tony took the file form his printer. "McGee, how did I get hired?"
"Ah...Gibbs was undercover in Baltimore and you worked together," McGee offered.
"And Kate?"
"Worked with you on a case on Airforce One."
"And what about you, Probie?"
"I'd worked with Gibbs, you, and Kate for a couple of cases. He got my promotion and assigned to D.C."
Tony quirked an eyebrow. "Do you see a pattern McGee?"
McGee stared at him for a moment, not sure what to say. He had never thought about it before but it suddenly was right there in front of him. Gibbs handpicked his team—with the exception of Ziva, she had been placed on the team under orders from Mossad and Jenny Shepard. Before, when Kate had been alive the team had worked well together, there had not been secrets. All the agents had a comfortable relationship with one another. It was probably looked at as dysfunctional to outsiders but they'd been happy.
Until Kate had died. And things had spiraled out of control. McGee had been young, green still. Afraid to even visit Kate's body in the morgue. When he finally did it had been Tony that had found him, bucked him up in his own way.
His stomach twisted in knots. The team had been in pain. Ripe for the picking. And it was entirely possible that Mossad had taken the opportunity of a new director, a grieving team, to plant their insider. As much as it pained him to admit, maybe Ziva hadn't really been loyal to them at all.
Which was the reason Tony was looking outside of the agency, outside connections to the agency. He had been hurt the most of all by Mossad, by Ziva. It only made sense. "So, now what?"
"Now...I just have to find the right fit," Tony mumbled.
"Gibbs know you're doing this?"
"He asked me too."
"Are you sure that you're the best person to make this decision?" Tony's heated glare at him, caused McGee to back pedal a little. "Sorry. You're the SFA, of course you can make the decision."
Tony went back to work and McGee went to his desk to start his day shifting through cold cases. It was relatively quiet in the bullpen until the senior field agent announced that he was going for coffee.
McGee chuckled. "Are you sure you're going to be able to carry all that being wrapped up like a mummy? Want me to tag along to help you?"
Feigning a hurt expression, Tony holstered his gun and put his credentials in his pocket. Before he could head towards the elevator, Ducky stepped off and stalked towards the senior field agent, eyes dark and the young man could only surmise that Gibbs had disclosed what had happened to him in Israel. Tony swallowed, eyes darting towards his team leader and the medical examiner, and then fleeting towards McGee who was oblivious to the whole situation. "My x-rays come back with something?"
Ducky shook his head. "No, no, your x-rays were fine. You are lucky, Anthony. But how could you fail to mention that it was Ziva that did this to you?"
Tony's shoulders slumped. "I thought...guess I thought she would be coming back with us. So, when it happened in Tel Aviv, I kept my mouth shut. To protect her."
"Protecting her, Anthony, is what got you into this whole bloody mess in the first place," the medical examiner grumbled with a shake of his head.
"Yeah, consider my lesson learned," Tony replied, softly.
McGee frowned, clearly missing something. Hadn't Tony sustained the injury in his fight with Rivkin? Abby had been worried that the Israeli's might rough Tony up a bit when they questioned him but he had told her not to worry about it. Gibbs and Vance were going ot be there with him and McGee didn't think they would allow Mossad to hurt Tony. Now, he was beginning to wonder if perhaps her fears were justified.
Ducky shook his head furiously at Tony now. "She betrayed you, the ultimate betrayal, Anthony! You were an injured, unarmed man. Her partner. She could have done serious damage to you! It is not an act worthy of protection."
Tony set his jaw. "I'm fine, Ducky, really I am."
"You should be home resting," Ducky admonished him. "Director Vance gave you three days leave time. As your doctor, I recommend that you take it."
"I'm fine, Ducky, seriously. Vance has me on desk duty anyways, that's as good as going home to rest. I'm more useful here."
McGee could see that Ducky wanted to argue with him a little bit more, but Tony pointed at his watch, took off towards the elevator and was gone. With a heavy sigh, McGee glanced at his desk, at the stacks of cold case files that had to be shifted through. And now that their senior field agent was off and running in who knew what direction, McGee knew that he'd be doing the work by himself for a while at least. He briefly glanced at Gibbs, who had instructed Ducky back to autopsy. When the medical examiner was gone, the junior agent asked, "Boss? Did Ziva really hurt Tony?"
Gibbs shoulders stiffened. "Yeah. While we were in Tel Aviv."
"What? Why?"
"She was mad at him."
McGee wasn't sure if that response was supposed to make this whole situation better. He suddenly felt angry. And he wasn't one to normally feel anger. Annoyance. Irritability. Crankiness. Sure, he felt all those things. But pure anger was not one of them. The thought that Ziva had taken down her partner—her injured partner, well that made him angry. Ducky was right, it had been the ultimate betrayal.
Tony stepped inside D.C Beans. He hadn't been there since Kate had passed away. It was her favorite coffee shop and it just reminded him too much of his fallen partner. Even now as he made his way to the counter to buy his coffee, his heart was heavy.
He tried not to think about what would have happened if he'd seen Ari before the rogue agent could kill Kate but now and then those thoughts crept into his mind and he couldn't shake them.
"Rough week, sir?" the young man behind the counter asked when he saw Tony's sling.
"You don't know the half of it," Tony muttered before placing his order.
Actually it had been more than a rough week. It had been a rough year. Starting with Jenny's untimely death last May. Had it really been that long? Somedays it felt like it happened yesterday and others like it happened years ago. If he was honest that was when his relationship with Ziva had began to go downhill. He had his guilt and drinking to blame for that. And, she was right, he could have called her while they were separated, but he hadn't. Instead he'd drowned his sorrows in being a tight ass agent afloat and the occasional drink at bars while the ship was on liberty.
He wasn't really sure why he never called Ziva, because according to her he had killed Rivkin because he was jealous. Well, if I loved you Ms. Dah-vid, why the hell didn't I reach out after the team was disbanded?
Tony had never asked himself that question before. And suddenly things began to align and make sense while he waited for his coffee. His feelings for Ziva had been a one way street and he knew it, even if he didn't want to believe it. Was he that desperate for love? Sure, he probably was. After all he'd seen his heart stomped upon by Jeanne, didn't have anyone to turn to after she left, and had been told all his life by his father that he was going to amount to nothing. So, yes, in short, he had been desperate for love. Still was, actually.
Rubbing a hand over his face, he reached into his pocket to get money when the barista brought his coffee back. He paid for the latte, tipped the young kid well, and left, feeling even more defeated and depressed than he had before stepping foot into the coffee shop.
I miss you Kate, he thought, sadly. Everything changed when you died.
Tony crossed the street to get to his car. Kate wouldn't want him to wallow in self-pity. She'd want them all to move on and keep doing their jobs, to keep righting the wrongs they saw in the world. He unlocked the car and climbed inside, carefully putting his latte into the cup holder. As he reached for the door his cell phone rang. "DiNozzo."
"Got a call out." Gibbs reported sounding...well angry. "Female officer was raped and left for dead. She's at Washington General."
"I'll meet you there," Tony answered, hanging up. Quickly he got himself situated and headed towards the hospital. So much for desk duty. Little did he know just how much time this case was going to consume. Little did he knew how much this case was going to change his life.