Check out the duck song on You tube- it's the most annoying song ever :) please review!
The next two days were filled with we poor attached pair annoying the sanity out of each other. Not that I had very much sanity left at this point.
To get back at him for humiliating me in the Great Hall (I hate the Beatles) I forced him to sit still in the library for almost four hours while Lily and I did all our homework for over the holidays. Every time he said something we completely ignored him and by the time we finally rolled up our parchment and shoved away our books ( well, I shoved them away, Lily laid them down in the revered way normally associated with newborn babies) he snatched my bag from me and threw me over one shoulder in a fireman's lift. No matter how I wriggled and kicked he didn't let me down until we had reached the Gryffindor common room on the 7th floor and at least half the school had seen us.
Sometimes I wonder if my life is worth living.
So I had turned his hair blue. When he'd stopped screaming he'd got Remus to put it right (Grrr! Traitor) and turned all the clothes in my trunk blue. This didn't matter a huge amount but then he transfigured my converses into stilettos that were at least 5 miles high and meant I kept bumping my head on door frames and falling over. After I'd finished screaming at him we'd gone to afternoon lessons and Lily had turned them back for me.
Seriously (No, not you Sirius!) who needs the cruciatus curse ? Stick them in high heels for a few minutes and you'll have them begging for mercy.
After surviving lessons without Sirius blowing anything up we'd headed for the Great Hall for some food when one of Sirius's fan girls, a blonde with her boobs practically falling out her shirt, came over and called me a slut. She would have probably slapped me too but was scared of breaking a nail. I had no such worries and punched her straight in the face. Minnie had then stormed over and deducted points, not that I cared. I'd then put a whistling hex on Sirius to pay him back for the jealous fan girl (like I actually wanted to be stuck to Sirius) so he couldn't talk, only whistle. Remus (I was seriously going to have words with him about this) had taken it off him so Sirius asked me in a carrying voice that the whole common room couldn't help overhear, which broom cupboard we'd be shagging in tonight. I hit him in the face and dragged him off to our room to get some sleep. He had then whistled the Hogwarts song to the tune a Muggle song Friday until one in the morning when I had finally cracked and knocked him out.
The next morning I had to sit through him and James singing the duck song (and he waddled away waddle, waddle) until last lesson which happened to be Muggle studies.
Don't ask me why I took Muggle studies at NEWT level because I have absolutely no idea.
Lily and Lizzie took it because, well, they're Lily and Lizzie and that's what they do. Alice took it because Frank was taking it and Frank was taking it because Alice was taking. Max took it because her sport coach said she needed at least one NEWT and this was the easiest option. Jazz took it because she thought the professor was fit (which he is in a pretty boy kinda way). James took it so he could drool over Lily a little bit more each day and Sirius took it to annoy his pure blood family.
And me?
I had absolutely no idea what I was doing there.
"Today we'll be looking at muggle children entertainment, and especially a firm that makes muggle films called Disney." I yawned as Professor Kaprin went on to explain several stories and show us a few clips from each film.
They were all pretty much the same- Beautiful girl, normally a princess, meets handsome boy, always a prince/semi naked wild man (always a turn on), fall in love by speaking 2 words to each other or just looking at each other, want to be together for eternity, something goes wrong, tragedy strikes in the form of evil stepmother (ask Max, steps aren't all that bad)/species difference/disapproving parents ect, beautiful princess obviously used up her whole brain on the singing voice and looks ect as she ends up being locked in a tower/ guarded by dragon/handsome prince enchanted ect before being rescued by handsome prince/semi naked wild man and
Live
Happily
Ever
After
The End
Hate to break it to you but real life doesn't work quite like that.
Take this one , The Little Mermaid, (I have no idea who they hired to design these mermaids because they look nothing like that.) There's a little mermaid (really original guys) called Ariel (and I thought my name was bad) decides to give her voice, her tail and the ability to pull off a seashell bra that no human could (sigh) in exchange for growing pains, PMS and a guy who doesn't even know she exists.
Typical Disney.
The only heroine I kinda liked was Megara from Hercules.
The line 'I'm Megara, my friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends.' Really cracked me up.
She was sassy, sarcastic, and totally self reliant. Plus she worked for the most awesome baddy ever. I seriously wanted Hades to win at the end. Anyway, by the end she was your completely stereotypical DID (Damsel in Distress) after falling for some guy who was this total dweeb.
But she was still kind of cool.
When the bell rang at the end of the lesson, (the start of the holidays YES!) Prof Kaprin dropped a bomb.
"Against all advice and Earthly reason and sanity the Headmaster, who I personally think has completely lost it, has decided that on New Year's Eve we are to be having a Disney themed ball as part of the NEWT Muggle Studies curriculum. I'm afraid it is mandatory and you have to dress as one of the characters. Dumbledore has informed me to tell you all that everyone skiving will have to go around dresses as a disney princess until the end of term."
"NO FREAKIN' WAY am I dressing up as a total dweeb who needs a ruddy guy for her life to be complete!"
Shit, that was loud.
He looked at me sympathetically over the excited/murderous/terrified whispers that had erupted.
"I'm sorry. I have said all this to the Headmaster but he seems to find the whole idea...Amusing."
I bet he's the only one.
"We teachers are being tortured into this as well, so it's not just you who have something to complain about. There's a Hogsmede trip tomorrow and we all have to get our costumes then."
He then handed us each a small square of card and let us escape to the Great Hall.
After all 11 of us (my dorm, the marauders and Frank) and there had been a lot of 'I can't looks' and 'no you go first' and 'how could he do this to us?' which were very boring we looked at our cards and found out which torture we'd have to go through for a whole night.
I figured you probably wouldn't want to listen to our argument and hyperventilating so I've written a list for you.
Me-Megara (I wasn't that mad about this, sure I mean I was mad, but not that mad, and I didn't have to humiliate myself by wearing a ball gown and tripping over or pouring firewhiskey down myself or something equally embarrassing like that)
Lily- Ariel (How do you dress up as a mermaid?)
Lizzie- Belle (2 words - ball gown)
Alice- Sleeping Beauty (least she'd have an excuse to snore the whole way through)
Jazz- Kida (She was delighted over this as she could, her words not mine 'get the boys drooling over a legally skimpy costume.' I worry about Jazz sometimes)
Max- Mulan (kick ass girl who runs away to join the army)
Sirius- Flynn rider (Sexy thief, What more can I say?)
James-Eric (Now I understood why Lily looked so constipated)
Remus- The Beast/Adam (Appropriate huh?)
Frank- Prince Phillip (So whenever Alice snores too loudly he can kiss her awake again)
Peter- Gaston
The last one was probably the most funny- in the description of Gaston on his card, who seems to be the villain from Beauty and the Beast, was the best looking guy ever and had the heart of a pig.
When we all (minus Peter) had stopped laughing our heads off a terrible thought struck me.
"I'm gonna be stuck to you all night aren't I?"
Sirius smirked at me.
"Yep, you'll get to spend even more time with moi!"
I groaned.
R&R!