Nine Months Later...

Given the chaotic nature of Hotel Valhalla, Magnus was used to hearing angry pounding on the doors early in the morning. He was even used to it being on his door. However, nothing could have prepared him for what was on the other side of the door today. Giant monsters? No problem. Crazy axe wielding berserkers? Whatever. A new quest to determine the fate of humanity? Must be a Wednesday.

Percy Jackson cradling a basket in his arms? That was when Magnus started to freak out.

"What."

Percy grimaced as he gently rocked the basket back and forth. A light pink and blue blanket concealed the contents. "I don't know how it happened and I don't want to know how it happened. But I think I need to have a word with Jack."

The magical sword hovered in from the other room. "Oh, hey there Percy. Haven't seen you around here in a while. Are you bringing some sort of magical bread that needs to be constantly needs to be moving to stay fresh? And why is Magnus just standing there?" Percy moved around Magnus's unmoving body and peeled back the blanket. Inside were several daggers, of varying shapes and sizes.

"This is not how Annabeth and I wanted to practice raising children."

"What is the meaning of our existence?" Magnus was staring dead eyed into the hallway, hand still on the door.

Jack flew back a few feet. "No way, that's not possible." He was anxiously wavering back and forth. "But I used protection and everything."

Just then Alex walked into the room, holding a large metal object. "Alright people, who broke Magnus?" She looked accusingly at Percy. "I can't even annoy him when he's like this."

"If our bodies are merely a mass of chemical reactions and electrical impulses how are we different from the machines we command."

"I swear if he starts spouting Nietzsche I'm gonna smack him into Helheim." Alex pulled out the hunk of metal and placed it on the table. "Anyway, Halfborn asked me to give this back to you guys. Apparently Magnus just found it the other day and took it in to be fixed. Percy, why are you staring in abject terror?"

Sure enough, Percy and Jack were staring at the round metal shield.

The round metal broken shield.

A huge gash had been torn in the middle of it. Jack kept looking at it, then at the basket of daggers, and back at the shield. Eventually he spoke up. "To be fair, I was being responsible." Percy gave a stare so flat it could've levelled Yggdrasil. "Could it have been another weapon? I got the feeling she was more into spears with a longer shaft."

Percy just shook his head. "No, it was not from any other weapon."

"Are you certain? I mean it co-"

"YES I AM CERTAIN THAT IT WAS NOT ANOTHER WEAPON."

"IF NOTHING LIES BEYOND THE PALE OF DEATH, NOTHING OF VALUE LIES BEFORE IT."

"WE ARE UNDEAD SOLDIERS LIVING IN VALHALLA YOU DOLT!" Alex screamed. From the basket, sounds of rattling and scratching metal were heard. "So what's in that basket anyway?"

Jack floated over to the basket and, for the first time, really looked inside. "They're actually beautiful. Every single one of them." He used his hilt to pick up the makeshift cradle and rocked it back and forth. Gradually, the metal clanging started to die down. "But I just don't know if I can do this. I mean, I really don't think I'd be the best role model for them. I'm just not ready for this to be my life right now." Percy walked over to him and gave him a sympathetic look.

"I have Riptide here with me. Did you want to... talk with... her?" Jack just shook his hilt.

"We didn't exactly part on the best of terms before, things might be a little awkward."

"Trust me, I didn't want Riptide to reappear in my pocket any more than you did. Especially since you were still in the middle of... y'know." Percy looked over at Magnus. "Sorry, I don't have much for words of wisdom to help out here. You got anything?"

"If there are no true variables in life then free will is an illusion and our existence is predetermined."

"Alright then. Listen Jack, somebody needs to take responsibility. I know you have to stay here with Magnus, and Riptide needs to be with me. Are the two of you going to try some sort of long distance relationship?" He pondered what he'd just said for a moment. "I would say things couldn't get any weirder, but I've made that mistake enough times."

Jack just made a snorting noise. "Take Riptide back? Are you kidding? After our night together, I found out she gave me rust. Took weeks to get that out of my system." He stopped for a second, like he was ready to launch into a massive rant. "I mean, I guess she is a sword of seawater, but I mean really. The nerve of some weapons."

Percy just let out a deep sigh. "Alright, I need Annabeth here. I can't take this anymore. She said she was coming up shortly."

"Out here seaweed brain." Annabeth's voice came from the doorway where Magnus was staring into an imaginary void, muttering something under his breath. Annabeth had a pen and notebook in her hands. "He's moved onto whispering, but there's some amazing stuff coming out. I need to keep track of it." The group closed in around Magnus, who was softly murmuring something, his unblinking eyes staring across the hallway."

"...There is no me, there is no you. There is only the never ending spit and bile of combat. The twenty-four hour murder spree of shining metal. I drink the blood and eat the loot and breathe the numbers because I am a monster, now and forever..."

"Eh, if he keeps it up another hour I'll start to get worried," Alex said nonchalantly. She turned to the rest of the group. "So from what I've gathered, you guys had a bit of an accident nine months ago. Back when Anaklusmos and Sumarbrandr were sitting in a tree, B-A-N-G-I-N-G. Now you've just given up on the love and marriage, but wound up with a baby carriage. Right?" Excluding Magnus, the group nodded. "Don't worry, I think I know the perfect caretakers for this."

Annabeth blinked in shock. "You happen to know someone who would be willing and able to raise a bunch of magical daggers?"

Alex just smirked. "Trust me, he'll jump at the opportunity." She took out her cell phone and punched in a few numbers. The room waited with baited breath as the phone rang. "Heyo, Blitz, my man. How'd you and Hearth like to raise a bunch of magical baby daggers? Hell yeah they're as adorable as they sound. No, of course we'd all help out as much as needed. I call dibs on the overly doting aunt. Also the crazy uncle that ignores safety procedures." Percy and Jack just stood there slack jawed, as Annabeth went back to writing down her cousins crazed ramblings.

With a satisfied click, Alex put down her phone. "Great news guys, Blitz and Hearth are on board with this." Percy let out a sigh of relief. Jack looked almost... disappointed?

"I'll have to thank those guys." His voice had an unusual solemn tone. Annabeth walked over and put her hand on his crossing guard.

"Don't worry, they'll be in wonderful care." She spoke in a kind and understanding voice. "And don't forget, you'll be able to visit as often as you like." She carefully pulled him in for a hug.

"Thanks, everyone." Jack sounded like he was feeling better. "And you know, I could try to make things work with Riptide. I know we can never be a traditional family, but still."

Annabeth smiled at him. "That would be a wonderful idea."

Percy frowned at that. "I really don't think that-"

"Wonderful. Idea. That nobody will object to or judge you for."

With the mood lifted, Jack took a moment to drink in the situation. He really wasn't in a position right now where he could fully take care of the little daggers, but nothing would stop him from being as involved as possible. He would attend their first sharpenings. He would make sure their pommels never came loose. And when the day came that some lucky demigod or einherjar took them into battle, he would ensure it was the greatest hero yet. And maybe, just maybe, there was still a future with him and that southern beauty Riptide.

"You know," Jack commented, "If this were a sitcom, now would when Riptide's ex-lover who everyone thought was dead showed up to create pointless dramatic tension. But that's way to ridiculous to ever happen."

Percy's eyes went wide at that statement. "You idiot, don't ever say that. Take it back now!" Right then the window burst open, and a huge gust of wind burst into the room. A dark silhouette sat on the windowsill. The entire room turned to look at the newcomer.

"What do you think you're doing here? She's moved on from you! I know we've had our differences, but you know what, I love Anaklusmos. I won't give her up again. I won't!" Jack was speaking with a passion the group had never heard him use before. However, nobody was paying attention to what Jack was saying. Annabeth, Percy, and Alex were staring at the newcomer.

Sitting atop the windowsill was, of course, Annabeth's old invisibility cap.
Annabeth, Percy, and Alex blinked.

"What."

"Whaaaat."

"Whaaaaaaaat."

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. GOD IS DEAD AND WE HAVE-ow, thanks Alex."